When I Dream~

Just had my shower, ate my pork porridge and took my medicine. Today was a crazily busy day which I started work at 9am instead of my normal 9.30am. No time for drawing at all. :( By 10.30am, I had done most of options month end work. Had training for about half an hour. Settled the rest of my morning stuff and it was lunch time. Bought lunch back to office. Ate with Irene and we chatted about stuff. :) By the time I had bought lunch back to office, it was already 1pm or even past 1pm. Soon, it was 2pm... Time to start work once again. Sighz.. Before I knew it, it was 3pm. Then it was 4, 5, 6 then 7pm!!! My god!!! Where did the time fly to??? I had so much to do and didn't even take note of the time! To make things worse, the stupid 3-ply paper printer had to have problems printing and half of the work (that makes it about 15 confirmations of 4 to 7 pages each) gone to waste! Could have killed anyone who crossed my path then but everyone was smart enough not to disturb me. Hahaha. ...

Very very tired. Woke up in the middle of the nite to sneeze, not once but a few times!! This is bad.. Finally couldn't take it anymore. Went to see doc in the afternoon. Had to coz I didn't want to spread to the others and it's month end tomorrow. It's been a while since I did all the month end on my own so.. I can't afford to make mistakes and I gotta work fast. I need energy and strength for that. Didn't draw today. Was tooooo tired to even think about drawing. Ya.. Was really bad today. But at least I feel more human now. Took my medicine immediately after seeing the doc. Asked Aunt Marg to cook porridge for me for dinner. She even boiled barley for me to drink! So nice of her! Saw Dad's cab while I was about to alight from the bus just now!!! Was sooo excited but.. Missing Dad and Mum.. Lyn & Kelv (both my managers) allowed me to leave office early today. By early, I mean 4.30pm with no MC and didn't need to apply for leave. I think I must have ...

Busy morning. Finished my work to go on my half day leave. Met Ann for lunch. She accompanied me til 2.30pm when sis finally arrived.. Late as always. Lawyer's office at 3pm. Waited for commissioner to sign the letter for an hour. Sighz.. Just to sign 1 document, we were there til 4pm. Faint.. At least it gave sis & I a chance to disturb each other and we didn't quarrel today! Haha. Sis went for facial while I bought donuts for the dealers. Yupz, I headed back to office again.. Front office though. To meet the group of ever welcoming and friendly dealers whom I like a lot. :p All came to where I was hiding in a corner to talk to me, joke with me and to say hi. How can I not like this group of people? Chatted with Siu Min & Heng Wee the most. The 2 whom I'm closest with. Chatted with Stephen, Shi Ming & Lynn as well. Siu Min wanted to intro me to Check, the boss.. But I refused to be introduced. Haha. Chatted with Benson & Goldwin from private bank as well. ;...

Home.. Early today. Left office at 6.30pm, grabbed a cab and headed home immediately. Coughing the whole day til my head hurt and my tummy muscle ached. If my lungs could have dropped out, I think they would have. Coughed til I nearly puked too. Yes, it's that bad. And worst of it all is that by lunch time, people were complaining of sore or itchy throats. Damn! The virus is strong. Everybody blamed Ailmer. Who wouldn't? We were all fine til he came to office on Thurs with very serious flu and cough. I chided him for not seeing the doc and spreading the germs. He offered to buy me fruits which he did during lunch time but I refused to eat. Don't want him to use this as some hold on me in future. My tummy muscle hurts so much now that I feel like I've done 100 situps non stop. Bad bad bad! While wearing my watch to leave office, I realise that I've lost weight.. Again! I think I did. Not 100% sure though. Maybe I did.... Doesn't matter... Didn't do anything m...

Spent my whole day at home. :) Slept from 12.30am til 4+pm. Feels so good. Muahahaha. Played games til 8+pm, cooked noodles for myself. Ate, changed my bedsheets, packed the rubbish on the floor of my room. Showered and now enjoying the aircon, watching my DVD, typing this post and relaxing. Starting to have this itchy throat that makes me cough. All stupid Ailmer's fault. Spreading his germs in office and can still tell me that it's not bad enough for him to see a doc. JERK! And he's coughing and sneezing without covering his mouth. ARGH!!! So gonna scold him tomorrow. Dumb idiot! Gonna play some more games and head to bed in a while. Nitez!

Surviving the whole day with only 2 hours of sleep is no simple feat. Especially when your family knows about it and was nagging at me about the late nites that I'm keeping. Oopsss.. Only on Fridays though.. Been sleeping early the whole week. :p They kept saying that I'm getting fine lines at my eyes which makes me look older than my age. Panic!!! I better stop being lazy and start applying the eye gel again!! Damn!! Contact lens are getting blur now.. Singapore Flyer this morning. Spent the time up in the capsule taking pics the whole time. Hehe. Camera hogging!!!! I love my family!!! Even my uncle & aunts were happily posing with us for pics! U gotta love this bunch of people manz! My pillar of strength throughout my whole life! :) Lunch @ a Chinese Restaurant @ Marina Square. Forgot the name of the restaurant. Ate like a pig!!! Then went to Aunt Mic's place for mahjong. Mouth watering almond tea the minute we reached there. Dinner was fantastic! Ate soooo much that ...

Nice to be home! I'm sooo tired now. Dinner with Bee @ Central - Da Pai Dang. She accompanied me to wait for the girls at TCC til 12 midnight to go clubbing.. Thanks Bee!!!! Butter Factory - Crowded, hot & made me feel sick halfway thro coz the ventilation was so bad and I was wayyyyy toooooo hot!! Perspired like crazy! It's like I finished running miles and miles. "Samantha" attracted a cute guy & "Carrie" attracted a fellow colleague of mine whom I totally didn't know. Me, nobody! Haha. It's ok. Don't need anybody. :) Bumped into Rave there so I pretty much hung around his group while the other 2 were dancing away. I drank while they danced. Hehe. St James after that at about 3am. St James - My 2nd home!!! DF for a while but was too Chinese for the girls. Yutaki wasn't around so I didn't mind going off. Boiler Room - Music was good, empty coz it closes at 4am. At least I felt the aircon when I was dancing. That's the most im...

Homey~!~! The place I love most! Hehehe. Dinner with Evans. Made him send me home initially but ended up having dinner @ Crystal Jade, Toa Payoh Central though I had just eaten a curry puff, nuggets, gyoza & spring roll from Old Chang Kee! Hehehe. I'm a pig remember? I only at xiao long bao @ Crystal Jade in case u guys are wondering how much of a glutton I can be. :p Talked about lots of stuff. Our little secret~! :D Went out to buy coffee with Irene @ 4+pm coz there was no deals & I was super duper tired from updating the database since after lunch. Kelv was in a good mood today so I managed to get out for a short walk. ;) But he's been lenient and nice to me ever since he became my manager. I think coz he knows I can finish my work and be fast. Haha. So far, no mistakes when he checks so.. I need to keep it that way. Picking up drawing again! Been drawing the last 2 days. Everybody's asking who I'm drawing for. Nobody actually. Nobody that I need to draw for....

Lyrics not very accurate.. Song takes a bit slow to load in my blog. :( Short but nice song! Enjoy! Once upon a time Arcangel in the sky Made a cover every night Once upon a time The angel loved me so It's a miracle in the snow my heart won't be cold My dear, you are my angel Tell me what you know Something should be told My dear, you are my angel Tell me where you go I will brace behind your love Once upon a time My angel gave me life

Chatted with Wayne & Olly today. Haven't talked to them for a very long time. 2 guys whom I miss. Dan's flying off tomorrow morning and as expected, he forgot to contact me. Boo! Work was kinda busy in the afternoon. Finished my morning stuff (3 people's work) by 10.30am. Haha. I'm fast! Mel will be on training on Thurs & Fri. Kelvin will cover her work. He told me to make sure Ailmer does his work in the afternoon coz he has a meeting from 2-3pm and need to help out at the other dept as well. Sighz.. I don't want!! Don't wanna talk to Ailmer!!!!!!! Nightmare starting once again!! It's been a peaceful 3 days without Ailmer in office. How I wish that peacefulness can last forever. Hahaha. Forgot to bring my mobile to work again. Seems like I will forget to bring it to work once a week. Getting used to not having my mobile around. Nobody really looks for me anyway. I didn't miss my mobile at all today. Yupz.. I'm becoming an invisible girl. :p ...

Eating choc chip biscuits and typing this post. Hehe. Work was kinda slow. Not many deals. Only 1 today. Spent my time clearing old mails and checking out air tix for Taiwan, reading business news on the net. :p Nothing much to write about today actually. And it's almost 9pm anyway. Wanna sleep early again. :) Hehehe. I'm a pig!! Nitez!!

Left work at 6.30pm today!! Hooray!!! But I was so tired that I slept on the bus on my way home. :p Still deciding if I should bathe 1st or eat 1st. Think I'll blog 1st, bathe then eat. And then, I can zzzzzzzzzzz right after eating!!! Just like a pig!!! Yes Meng, I'm a glutton & a pig! Lalalalala Stupid me screwed up the timing of the interview and the interviewer's name today. I must be an idiot!! Faint.. Supposed to be lunch time and her name is Jasmine. I went this morning at 8am and called her Jessica!!! I must have looked like a dumbo. Sighz.. Anyway, just read some news about Dresdner and seems like they are having some problems and losses as well. Oh no!!!! Now I must seriously consider if I still wanna carry on there.. Work was ok. Discovered several mistakes made last week.. I'm really becoming stupid.. Charlie said that it seems like without Ailmer, we can close shop and go off earlier! That's always the case!!! When it was just Gopi and me, it was th...

Sometimes I amaze myself by the things that I can do. Slept at 4.30am and woke up at 8.30am. Ann picked Aunt Marg & I up and we headed to pray to gramp together. Prayed to Daddy & Mummy too. :) I miss all 3 of them.. :( Went with Aunt Mic to collect bday cake for Aunt Marg while Ann, Peg, MZ & Aunt Marg went to visit Gram. Ann's car couldn't fit me in so I had to miss out on visiting Gram. :(((( Back to Aunt Mic's house after collection of cake from SICC (Singapore Island Country Club). Had snacks & soon after, lunch. Ate a lot!!! Mahjong after lunch at about 12pm. Was losing $20+ til I started winning at about 5+pm. Won $20 in the end. Phew!!!!! Cake cutting and dessert time at about 4pm. Then dinner at 7pm. I ate sooooo much that everyone was shocked! And I ate at a very fast speed too!!! Whole family thought I was hungry, but I wasn't.. And I just kept eating and eating and eating. Til I became super duper full. I guess, it's coz I've finally ...

Slept from 5.30am to 4pm! Fantastic job. Proud of myself. Haha. Woke up to see a few sms-es from my dearest gal friends. Love these 4 babes! Was replying to them when XZ called and he was already out of his house to meet me. Oopss.. Showered. XZ reached while I was still preparing. Booked tix online. He was ok to go for my company's Family Day event with me. I didn't wanna go initially but wanted to tell Christine mama some stuff as she was on 2 weeks leave & I didn't get a chance to talk to her when she visited us on Friday. :) Supposed to watch The Dark Knight. Had hard time booking tix as almost all cinemas were fully booked. Settled on AMK Cathay 10.30pm show. Then.. I happened to see that Hellboy 2 was also showing already and guess what??? We booked tix for Hellboy 2 @ 1.40am same cinema. Woah!!!! Movie marathon!! Plus the fact that it was "Movie under the stars" @ Fort Canning for my company event!! Wheet wheet~! Hehehe. Reached Fort Canning @ 6pm I thi...

Just reached home from the most fantastic girl gathering ever!!! It was absolute fun!!! Von, Jean, Stef & I met up from 8.45pm to 4am!!! That's how much stuff we can talk about. We laughed, we joked, we chatted, we chilled, we were angry on one another's behalf. Basically, it was all the emotions in 1 night, minus the sadness. It was way cooooooooooool!!! From 8.45pm to 10pm, we were at Keppel Bay The Wine Glass. From 10pm to 2am, we were at Keppel Bay Privo Gastrobar. Rochor for soya beancurd only to find it closing for the night. Marina Square HK cafe for more food & drinks. Wanted to try the soya beancurd there coz Von said it was good but it was sold out. :( This girl gathering is, by far, the best ever! There's another upcoming one in August and I can guarantee that it will be even better than today coz.. Hehe. Not telling yet. We have made the plans and details. Soon to be revealed. Date of gathering is the weekend of National Day holiday. I can't wait!!!!...

So in love with my blog song that I keep repeating it. :p Love this song!! But don't worry, I'm not depressed or anything. It's just a very nice song. Nothing to be depressed about. My 'disciple', Sharon, from Shanghai called me today to thank me for the pandan cake that I asked Stan to bring over on my behalf. They loved it so much! Sharon said I sound so much happier. I think I'm happier too. :))) Headhunter called this morning. Interview with Dresdner HR on Mon. Should not be nervous anymore. 3rd round or should it be 4th? Getting so used to it.. Haha. Turned down CarVal's request for face to face interview. I didn't like doing that but decided not to waste my time on a job scope that I'm not that interested in. Carissa mummy and Irene have been telling me that they will miss me when I leave. I'll miss them too. Caissa mummy has even been eating lunch with me for almost the whole week! :) I'm touched.. Seriously touched! They are the nices...

Shon asked me out for drinks. I didn't go. Don't think I wanna go drinking. Washing my clothes now anyway. :) I'm really becoming such a good girl. Haha. Read Shuang's blog. Touched!! ^.^ Work was ok. Busy thro'out coz of several new deals. But for the 1st time in many days, I managed to leave at slightly past 7pm. Haha. Couldn't be bothered with the outstanding things that are still in my inbox. My eyes could barely open the whole day. That's how tired I am. Not sure why I'm this tired though.. Headhunter called. Said Dresdner wants me to meet with HR. More or less to firm up things if I'm not wrong. Shuang, we can go lunch in future if I really join the place. Haha. Will depend on the package that they are giving me and if they will put me in the department that I want. Once again, keeping my fingers crossed. Supposed to go at 6pm tomorrow but I can't make it so I've requested for Fri lunch time. Waiting for them to revert.. Felt a mixture ...

Busy day today again. Morning was alright but afternoon was a bit packed with performance appraisal at 3pm and phone interview with Carval at 6pm. Had to rush quite a bit of stuff but managed to finish. :) Performance appraisal was alright. I totally complained about Ailmer and how he called me names. Couldn't stand his attitude any longer but was told to exercise my patience with him. Been trying to and have been trying my best not to talk to him. Can't stand going to office early to face him as well. Kinda sickening but life goes on as always anyway. Duhz. Had an overall rating of 2 which was good, considering that 1 is the best. The other time that I had a rating of 2, I was promoted. Don't think this will happen now though I have a rating of 2. My rank is higher than most people now in my dept now anyway. No room to be promoted. Supposed to have tea break with 1 of the 7th floor guy but really didn't have time so gotta postpone it.. No choice.. Carval interview wasn...

Stuck in toilet once again. No choice. Tummy ache while leaving office and the lazy me took a cab due to the super duper lack of sleep. Dying from the tiredness, rushing around and all the work. Was almost at a stage of vomitting and had a fully flushed face at work. Phew.. Thank God I managed to live thro that. Haha. Interview was bad. I left my beloved mobile at home and couldn't remember the handphone numbers of several people who could gimme faith and strength. ARGH!!! Stupid me!!! Think the lack of sleep caused me to forget my precious.. Sighz.. Not sleeping the whole nite is crazy, to survive thro the day is even crazier. Haha. Anyway, interview wasn't as good as the previous time. I was too too stoned to think. My mind was simply a blank. Whatever came out of my mouth did not fully register with my brain 1st. Sighz.. Upsetting... :( Retrieved my mobile after that and managed to find some comfort at long last. Messaged Heng Wee and he made me feel better at once. Hehe. He...

Insomnia hits once again! Am I getting too nervous or too excited about later? Really dunno.. All I know now is that I need to sleep or I'll look like a panda tomorrow. Sighz.. Wish someone can knock me out right now. Gonna listen to music and hope that I sleep. Should I play some games to tire myself out? Will see what I can do.. Most people should be asleep by now.. Nitez all!

Finally went out of my house today, to watch "Red Cliff". Never really like The Three Kingdoms much in the past. It all changed when I got together with JZ coz it was the game he played and watching him play got me interested. I always thought I would be watching this show with him. It ain't the case anymore. I decided to watch it today coz I know I shouldn't be wasting time harbouring hopes on things that would not happen again. I need to move on in my life and that's what I did. The show was nice. A bit draggy at some parts but funny and true to the story at most parts. I've really known the story before but that's what I heard anyway. :) Glad to have caught this show today, but I forgot to inform Zub that I'm not meeting him for dinner tonite. Stupid and forgetful me!!! Got teased by him. Thank God he wasn't angry. Hehe. :p Think I slept too much, that's why I can forget. Haha. I never knew I could sleep that much. Seriously.. This weekend w...

Stayed at home the whole day. Nothing much to blog about. Simply slept, eat, play game, sleep some more, eat and play game again. Back to my hermit lifestyle where I don't wanna go out nor talk much. Just wanna be by myself at this moment. I'm happy with playing games the whole day. Really did nothing but play games. Haha. K.. Back to playing games then sleep! Nitez all!

Home on another lonely and boring Friday nite. Wanted to stay later in office but was too tired to continue with work. Left office with Irene and Mel. Irene's hubby gave me a lift to the bus stop again. :) Thanx!!! The bus that I take will pass by his house. I stared out the other side the other time. Didn't wanna look, didn't wanna think. Just wanna put everything behind me and move on. 1st thing mummy said to me today was "nice to hear my nu er's happy and chirpy voice". Was thirsty on the bus. Thought of drinking something alcoholic.. But come to think of it, I'm not that sad.. I don't need to get myself drunk nor to drown my sorrows. I didn't feel that way or that I needed to drink at all. I'm alright, I don't need alcohol. :) This time round, I really didn't see the need to drink. Received a call from headhunter today during lunchtime. Told me that I've got another round of interview on Monday and the interviewers were really n...

I think I've seriously grown.. And that I am back to the me that I once knew. Thank God for that! After what happened last nite, I woke to find my eyes were swollen but not as bad as I expected. I need to thank a few people for being there for me last nite and today. 1st person - Irene. She was there for me throughout the whole thrashing out session last nite. Although it was only via msn, she was there for the whole time from the start til the end. She got angry on my behalf, was worked up and her hubby even told her to send his regards to me today. Sweet! She accompanied to run a lot of errands today to 'repay my debts'. She encouraged me, supported me and even postponed going out with her hubby tomorrow just to have dinner with me (and Cheryl) so that I won't have another lonely Friday nite on my own. I really really really appreciate it and wanna thank her for it. *HUGZ* 2nd person - Bee. The minute I msg-ed her, she came online to check if I was ok. Tried to keep m...

Thanks to everyone who has shown very determined faith and confidence in me. Carissa mummy, Heng Wee & Ken.. The kind of confidence that I never expected. But whether I get it or not, I know that I have done my best so I'll definitely have no regrets. :) Will still be happy to stay on even if I don't get the job. So.. No worries! No hopes, no disappointment. I've learnt that in a hard way, but I've learnt it well. Woke up not feeling very happy. Don't wanna talk about it but I'm glad that this time round, I'm able to stay strong, get over it within an hour and move on with everything instead of being sad the whole day. :) So happy and proud of myself. Hehe. Worked from another office at Science Park today and such was the coincidence that I met XZ while having tea break at the canteen. Ok, not really tea break but had some time to go downstairs and buy a cup of tea to bring back to office. Decided to have dinner together since we hardly get to meet. :D D...

1st & foremost, a very important thing to do.. Thank u everybody for ur well wishes and all the good lucks and all the best that all of u have sent to me via sms, calls, msn msgs. I truly truly, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate it a lot!!!! Thanx to Shuang, Felix, Bee, Stanley, Lynn, Siu Min, Leo, Matt, Ed gor, Irene & the most important person, Heng Wee! Thank u for believing in me and giving me the very much needed encouragement!! Why is Heng Wee the most important person? He's a dealer whom I haven't known for long but yet can click very well. Met up with him at TCC for coffee before I headed up to the dealing room. We chatted and he had so much confidence and faith in me that I was overwhelmed. Taught me the interview techniques, what to say and told me not to undersell myself. Was so nervous on my journey there but kept thinking about what he told me and I was able to calm myself down and present myself well. Which is why I must seriously thank him if I real...

Just reached home. Eating my prawn noodles now and I'm not going to type long coz I've got things to do. I just knocked off from work, came home and my tenants are already asleep!! Faint.. Devoting all my time to work, be it still in this company or if I get out of this company. It's a good way to not think about my problems and also a good way to spend time. I'm gonna carve a name for myself someday. I wanna be someone one day and to do that, I have to work hard now. Interview tomorrow. I'm nervous. Haven't been to any interviews for 3 years now. Have always been afraid of interviews. Hope I perform alright. It's for associate position which is team leader position. I'm not sure I'm up to standard yet but will try my best at the interview. As long as I give it my best shot, I know I won't regret and that I have not failed myself no matter whether I get the job or not. Wish me luck folks!!!! Ailmer can't cope today. Had to cover him, Gopi and...

Movie "Hancock" with Felix at 4.45pm at Great World City. Movie's so so. Will Smith has been acting as superhero quite a lot recently. The CD shop after that - Bought 4 cds and spent $75. So much for saving money. I even took cab yesterday. Err.. Save money.. Ya right. Seb wanted to meet for coffee but he was a bit late. Agreed for movie already and he messaged me. Too bad. Haha. Picked Bee & her hubby up at her place and went for dinner at Chomp Chomp. Too crowded so we went to the other food place instead. Food was ok. Had free music. Gave the guy $2. :) Walked around the whole of Dempsey before we headed to Harry's for a drink. Chatted, laughed and was enjoyable. I like hanging out with Bee and Felix coz I can totally be myself. Act crazy, be mad, be myself. I know that no matter what happens, I have these 2 friends who will share my ups and downs. I know that everybody has their own lives, their own friends, their own partners. I'm glad that these 2 people...

Slept at 12.30am and woke up at 2.30pm. 14 hours of sleep but woke up with a blasting headache coz my head slipped off the pillow from 12.30am to 12.30pm. Faint.. The headache was real bad.. Went to Aunt Mic's place and played mahjong. Lost $55 within 3 hours. Couldn't concentrate with the head pounding away. Ate prawn mee for dinner.. My aunt cooked! It's my fave!!! :) The normal me would have eaten 2 bowls for dinner without any problem but tonite, I only had 1 bowl. No appetite as the head was still pounding after taking panadol extra. Went to Ky's room to rest and Ann, Jac & Aunt Mic helped me to massage. Felt sooooo comfy and good. Finally, my headache went away. Ya, my family's real good at massaging!!! Felt so wonderful and fantastic that my headache can disappear. :p Didn't wanna continue with mahjong so asked Alvin to stand in for me. The 5 gal cousins sat around, chatted and played Dai Dee. Cut cake for Ky's bday and we decided on colouring ins...

Another quiet and lonely Fri nite.. I think I'm coming down with flu soon.. Oh no.. I can feel it.. My nose doesn't feel right and I left the Vicks & Halls sweets in office. Damn!! Sighz... Ailmer and I have talked things over. I told him off so loudly that my boss came out of his room to ask if we were ok. Sighz.. Things are ok for now I guess. Just hope that history doesn't repeat itself. Anyway, mood in office was really relaxed and fun since morning. Everybody chatted and laughed.. Simply had fun. I like this kind of atmosphere. :) The whole team (with the exception of Gopi) went out for lunch at T3. Had Popeyes. :p We talked, joked and laughed. It was nice. Really really enjoyable. Wish we can have such lunches and stuff more often. After lunch, there was an announcement. Gopi will be transferring to Confirmations Unit. There are 3 other staff movement as well but doesn't really involve or concern me. They will be looking for new staff to replace Gopi. I hope t...

Pissed pissed pissed! But I've let all my anger and steam out after scolding and complaining to Irene, Carissa mummy, Mel, Agnes, Christine mama & Carissa mummy. Yes, I was really really angry this time round. With who? Who do u think? Ailmer.. I've said before that he always calls us names.. Such as 王八蛋 (bastard) and said I was 花痴 which also means that I'm man crazy. That was when I lost my temper and scolded him once, but he apologised and I accepted. Yesterday, he used the word 王八蛋 (bastard) on me again. I told him off nicely coz I didn't wanna make a big fuss. But I warned him against using it again. Yet, today he used it on me again and he said it quite loudly in front of the department coz we were joking and chatting when he used it on me. This time round, I seriously didn't give him any face. I told him off in front of the whole department and I raised my voice so loudly that everybody in the office at our area could hear. I don't care if he means wha...

Was saving my email in another folder when I saw an old email in the folder. Actually, it's the 1 & only mail in that folder. Sent on 29 May 2004. Yes.. It's a 4 year old mail now.. Read thro part of it.. Kinda like a quick glance at the main points and I couldn't read further. I didn't want to. The mail was sent by Tom, my ex-bf now. It was a reply to a mail that I had sent him after we broke up for the 1st time in 2004. That break up broke my heart then.. It still did when it happened a 2nd time in 2007. In 2004 when it happened, we got together again 1 month later. Ww broke up again in 2007 May.. And it's 2008 June now...This time round, we didn't get together. Will it happen again? I really dunno and I'm don't wanna think about it. If u ask me, have I totally let it go? My answer is, I really dunno. 3.5 years of relationship, is it that easy to let go? At times, I still do think about him now and then but I know when to stop. It's time to mov...

Refused to wake up this morning. I'm drained in all aspects. No longer know myself. I realise I'm starting to forget how to smile and be happy after Spain won! My happiness doesn't last long these days anyway. I was unhappy yesterday, I am unhappy today. It's like, I no longer have sunshine in me.. I have lost the spark to happiness. Why? I think I know the reason deep down.. But I'm refusing to acknowledge it.. There's this saying that when a person is in love, he/she will look beautiful or charming. Judging by the way I look these days, I can be sure that I am not in love. I think I look like crap.. Anyway, the sentence that I hear most these couple of days is "Did u lose weight (again)?" Some said I lost weight.. Some said I lost weight again. All I can say is that, yes.. I feel it too. I think I did lose weight but when did I exactly lose it, I'm not sure.. Could be coz of the diarrhoea the other time or coz I have only been eating a meal a day...