Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Stupid Appraisal
Was really pissed at work today, but not coz of my current department. I cannot believe that as a manager, when u have nothing bad to write about a person, u can write all sorts of rubbish as my appraisal. It's so ridiculous and when we try to ask for a proof or protect ourselves, u claim that we are very defensive.
I mean, come on, the way that u write jus makes people pissed. Everyone who has seen the mail says that too. I have many people who can vouch for me regarding the way I work and they all know that what u wrote is jus rubbish! Seriously wtf! U suck as a manager and u have no "people" relationship skills.
I was so pissed the whole afternoon since I saw the mail. Decided to stop arguing with a useless ex-manager and went directly to my new manager. Told him that I do not agree with the comments written by previous manager and my current manager actually said that he laughed at the comments coz it was so crappy! Told me that he has totally ignored the comments written by my previous manager coz it's jus dumb! Thank god for having a good manager now!
I'm really extremely glad and thankful that I have moved out of the previous shithole, with shit managers and bosses. 3 years of suffering and slogging in this asshole department is finally over and I will not need to have such lousy people being my managers.
Thanks to all the people who stood by me and believed in me - Jack, Simon, Carissa Mummy, Ed gor, Sylvia, Lisa, Eeyore. For cheering me up and showing me your faith. Yes, I should ignore the idiots in my life and stay happy. I'm still enjoying my new job and I'll stay focused and cheerful! :)
magz [10:39 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Monday, July 26, 2010
Communication
What does a girl do when her care and concern has been told off as a form of nagging? Does she stop talking and showing care and concern to the person? I no longer know what is right and what is wrong. I no longer know how to make a person happy or to even communicate anymore. Everything I do seems to be wrong.
Asking slightly more questions and clarifying what was said is known as generation gap, and to think that we are of the same age. My english mus be really poor that people do not understand me and I need to clarify. My mistake for even asking. I know to keep quiet now. Let the doubts grow and not ask so much. Talking is not a form of communication. It's a form of miscommunication. So is typing.
So how should we communicate now? Hand language? Maybe. How about not communicating with each other anymore. Would that be better? Then there will be no more misunderstandings that will lead to unhappiness. Would everyday be happier then?
I can't be going to work with unhappiness in my life for so long. I can't keep depending on others to cheer me up all the time. So what do u want me to do? If communication breaks down, then what are we going to do about it? I really wonder.. Tired.. I say and feel that so often now that it's not right. It's definitely not right..
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Yesterday was my mummy's chinese death date. She's been gone for 20 years now. And I miss her so much. I really hope she's been reborn to a good family and is still as pretty. I asked her to bless me with happiness. I had that happiness for a few hours and it was gone. Came too soon, gone too fast.
Is that how it is with us too?
My blog is not meant for unhappiness but I have no happy things to write about recently. Prove me wrong and make it change. My independence and happiness will not be destroyed so easily. I will stand up and get there once again. But before that, pls do not blame me for being cold towards u. Coz I will do as u wish - no care & concern coz it means nagging, talk and ask less too.
I hope u r happy with that.
magz [7:50 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The Same Circle
Still going around in the same circle of doubts and questions when we argue or quarrel. It's a never-ending thing?? Seriously wearing me out and making me really sick and tired. The sweetness never lasts. Bitterness sets in after a while.
How much does a person need to do to prove her point? How much does it take to let a stubborn person understand certain things? How can a person be this stubborn that he can never put other people's viewpoint or words into his mind for consideration?
Watched Inception over the weekend - Is this really what it is? The idea was already planted in his mind long ago, even before I knew him. Nothing can change it now? I think so. Well, at least I feel that way. That's why we are always going round and round in circles.
People think it's all sweet and nice but it's only coz I try my best to stop blogging about the fights, quarrels and arguments. Don't wanna remember the bad things, only the good ones. Ask me if I'm getting married anytime soon - my answer is no. This same circle of issues that keep resurfacing is the milestone that we have to get past before we can proceed any further.
Wonder if we will ever get to that stage. I have my own doubts on that.. Marriage is definitely a long long way away.
magz [6:28 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
World Cup 2010 - SPAIN!!!
Just realised that I've been neglecting my blog. Wonder if I still have anyone reading it, but what does it matter? It's for me to remember stuff anyway though more often than not, I forget stuff rather than remember them.
Work rocks! Seriously does. I'm happy with work and at work. I have a crazy and fun team, my mentor is always there for me despite being on block leave! My team loves Magnum ice creams and we're constantly eating! :p It's all good and I feel so different being here than in my previous department. 3 years of being in my previous department made me into a bitter person, angry with the world and everything revolving around me. Here, ranking and hierarchy is out of the window. We are a team. They are all higher ranked than me by a lot and earn heaps more than me so they pay for drinks, ice creams, food, etc. :) But that's not the point. The point is, everyone is jus at ease with everyone.
World Cup 2010 came and went & I'm very very proud and pleased to say this.. Finally I can proudly say this - SPAIN WON!!!!!!!!!! World Champions 2010 and Euro Champions 2008!!!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!! I'm a happy little girl. Haha. U won't believe how crazy I was. ^.^
Today I was wondering.. If a person is happier at work than at home, what does it mean? I seem to be a much happier person at work. I reach home and see the mess at home, I flare up. I can't help it. My house looks worse than a warzone. It's like a tornado had come and gone, whipping everything it can to be out of place. I spent 2.5-3 hours cleaning up jus 1 layer of my table last nite and I felt pissed!
How much longer til I get a nice clean house again? I really wonder.. I dunno how long it's going to take me to do it and it makes me sad. How can a house be this messy? What happened along the way?? I own the place, I stay in it.. And sad to say, I have no answer to my own questions. All I know is that it's going to take a lot of hardwork, determination and effort to keep the house neat, clean and tidy once again. I'll have to do my very best..
magz [5:43 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
