Mummy was in a coffin and I was applying silver eye shadow for her.. Everyone around me was telling me mummy had gone.. Left me forever.. I refused to believe.. And that's when I woke up in tears... Even as I'm writing this post now... Or when I tell anyone about this dream... I just can't stop the tears!!! I seriously miss my mummy...

So I went for a drink with Anoopster after work. I needed to de-stress.. He bought me drinks and made me laugh. Even said he loved me for bringing him into the job and allowing him to learn everything now. Told me to look to the future and not the past... 

Yes... I've been helping people to the best of my abilities... But who's helping me and who's looking after me??? I really miss my mummy and all I wanna do.. Is to be with her... :( 

On this ride of 49 bus stops (I've been on the bus for almost an hour now..), I've got plenty of time to think and dwell on lots or stuff as usual.. Went past Tom's place and Howdy's place along the way and images flashbacked.. Not to mention that even while waiting for bus just now, I thought of Eeyore again. 

Will I ever find the right one again? I wonder too.. How to? Honestly.. With so much nonsense at home.. This morning Aunt Marg just told me that her hubby met with accident again and told me not to lend me any money should he call to borrow from me. Sigh... Sometimes can't help but wonder.. My family relationships.. Built on money and lies? Without those 2 factors, I won't have a family?

Dunno... Really dunno anymore. I just wish to be taken off the surface of this world ASAP... Close my eyes and be gone forever.. 

Edited: And when I reached Felix's place.. I had to hear this song 当我知道你们相爱.. Sung by 1 of my all time favorite singers Hacken Lee.. Nearly burst out crying on the spot.. My life's ironies... End up... I spent the whole night listening to this song and crying throughout....