Monday, February 28, 2005
job opportunity...
got a call from citibank today asking me to go for an interview. not exactly sure what post i'm interviewing for or whether i'll get the job or not. of coz i'd like to change my job coz citibank pays much more than what i'm currently getting n there r more benefits there. most importantly, no more draggy, pointless, redundant monday meetings! but the thought of not being able to meet my boy for lunch everyday saddens me.. n to travel 1 hr everyday to work n work ot.. with no music.. hmmz...
hope the people there are friendly n nice. anyway, i still have anne marie there to accompany me. hehe. thanx girl for helping me send in my resume~. :)
so, i can't concentrate on my work anymore which is y i'm blogging now. my table's a mess but i can't focus so i actually look real busy n hardworking. haha. i'm juz tired n brain-dead with so many things on my mind.. sighz..
if i get the job, what m i going to tell my boss? that i found something better or should i juz come up with some excuse? really don't know. probably wait til i get confirmed before i think so much. might not get thro the interview anyway n i'm already thinking so far into the future. haha. muz stop stressing myself out. if i get the job, i'll probably still have to discuss with my family before i can do anything. haha.
still have to get back to work.. or mayb i shall juz daydream the rest of the 45 mins away.. before attending dumb meeting.. boring~
magz [5:07 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Sunday, February 27, 2005
sense of achievement~
re-did my blog today. spent the whole afternoon on it n it's finally done! nothing beats the sense of achievement upon completion. it's something that i've never done before n i've always felt that i wouldn't know how to do it coz i've always been such a computer idiot. after my cousin showed me some stuff n tom telling to view source, i tried to do up my own blog. took me quite some time before i stumbled onto this girl's blog which teaches u how to do certain stuff. found this really nice blogskin n fell in love with it. so, after much effort n fiddling with stuff, here it is! something i'm really proud of n happy to c. every time i look at my own blog, i feel this sense of pride, achievement n happiness coz i really love everything about this design. thanx to the creator of this blogskin! :)
went to watch 'hide and seek' yesterday. quite a good show. the suspense was good. kinda unexpected. booked tickets to watch 'white noise' on tuesday. it's a scary movie.. not really my kind of show esp at nite. used to have nightmares everytime i watch scary movies at nite but hopefully it won't happen this time. have always been scared.. not sure y. maybe i was influenced by grandma when i was young. hope things will turn out ok.. still got a few more shows i wanna catch though.. 'closer' n 'hitch'.. 'closer' is a romantic flick while 'hitch' is a comedy.. more my kind of show. hehe.
went out with my sim group of gals on friday.. esther, eunice, stef, eevon... met weini on my way from taka to wisma n she joined us as well. it was good. love this sort of gatherings coz it allows us to catch up on our lives and one another. realised that we've all grown up.. but we're still the same group of fun-loving n crazy gals. love that about us! to stef, hope things will really work out well on ur side k? we'll always be here for u no matter what happens. pls eat more coz u r really skinny now. don't become anorexic!! we'll only worry more. take care of urself!!!
been trying to pick up the pace at work so haven't really had much time to play games except to de-stress when i can't figure out the figures. other than that, it's all work work n more work. starting to do the accounts much faster which is supposedly a good thing. juz hope i dun make too many mistakes n screw too many things up.
had food poisoning last sat.. luckily i managed to recover on fri.. just in time to hang out with the gals n have some fun after a long time. :) the feeling was terrible when i had food poisoning. was in so much pain due to the stomach cramps from the food poisoning yet i couldn't take mc coz i was rushing to finish my accounts. thank god i'm ok now~ being healthy is really important. think it's time i start exercising again. :p but i always say but don't do. haha. lazy me...
magz [10:33 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Thursday, February 24, 2005
disappointed n jer's departure...
been a little disappointed with friends.. the term 'friends'.. what does it actually mean? someone u can talk to, someone who will be there for u? how many people can do that for a long time? i'm not very sure but i used to try n keep it contact with close friends in the past. i did all i could to stay in touch n find out what's going on in their lives so that our friendship can stay strong. however, that wasn't the case. 1 fine day, i finally decided to stop taking the initiative to remain in contact with them n the result was, they didn't bother either. what happened to the friendship between us? i'm not sure. but it takes 2 hands to clap n i don't understand y i always have to be the one who makes it happen. i've lost many friends coz of that. upset.. of coz i was. i've always treasured friendships but i don't see the point of hanging on if the friendship is so 1-sided. disappointed..
i've always believed that to be friends, we have to take our hearts out n put it on the line. show them who u r, give them care n concern when they need it, lend them a listening ear when they r sad or need to complain. but over the years, my heart has been broken into pieces by many of my friends. i gave them my heart but they ill-treated it. so many so many of them.
recently, i'm starting to remember y i stopped taking the initiative to stay in contact again... coz people simply take it for granted. my buddy refused to share his problem with me. fine.. i don't want to know anymore. maybe i'm juz being a busybody. what hurts me most was that i thought my friendship with the dbs group was good. but since i started work, i was the one who always asked if they wanted to lunch together everyday. before i left, we agreed to have lunch with one another. but now, if i don't email them to ask, nobody bothers to lemme know if we're lunching together. i saw the full picture last thurs. something juz hit me n told me not to email them if we'll be lunching together on fri n see what would their reaction be. statistics have shown that i have b forgotten n that nobody will take the initiative to ask me about lunch. the whole of this week is the same story. i give up. totally give up. i no longer want to try. whether they lunch with me or not, life goes on for them anyway. y should i b so upset? i don't know.. only mel cares from time to time.. sighz...
jean, u've always said that i'm a bitch coz i don't let u know what's happening in my life if u don't call me. that's coz i no longer like to take the initiative. now u know.. been hurt too many times to want to be the one to take the 1st step.. but gal, u've proved to be a fantastic n wonderful gal who always takes the initiative to stay in touch with me. i love u for that n much more! thanx babe! ever so much!! for everything! *hugz*
jeremy left for australia last nite. he was the 1st guy i brought home to meet dad n grandma. read his current gf's blog thro his link this morning. read how sad she felt when he was about to board the plane n it brought back memories of the time he went to uk when we were still together. haha. i cried myself to sleep n grandma knew about it. can really feel that she loves him so jer, i know u will read this. treasure regine! she's really very sweet n nice. i know i've said this lots of time but i think u 2 r really meant for each other. i'll wait til the day u guys get married manz. muz invite me!! haha. :) anyway, study hard in aussie!!
after reading her blog n having all the memories flow back to me, i suddenly felt a sense of sadness. what will i do without tom? experienced that before. don't think i can go thro it again. he's been there for me everytime i need him, he's done so many things that no other guys will ever do or be bothered to do. yes, he may be unromantic but no guy can ever be as sweet n as nice as he is. i honestly do hope that he will be always stay by my side. he's the only guy n should most likely be the only guy that i brought home to meet my whole extended family. they know that he's a good guy too n they more or less approve of our relationship so i can only hope that we will work out well. bae, thanx for everything!! may our relationship stay strong forever~
magz [10:24 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
valentine's day...
chinese new year came n went.. happy chinese new year to all~ this chinese new year hasn't exactly been a very happy one n i'm still on cold war with my dad. haha. ain't it fantastic? i can do this forever i think. there's no need for me to talk to him anyway. haha. i'm an evil gal!
anyway, valentine's day came n went as well so happy valentine's day to one n all as well~ wanna wish kuan a happy bday too! hehe. valentine's day this year was just like any other normal day in my life. no flowers, just present. think it's been a whole year since i received flowers from anyone. not on my bday nor on valentine's day. sighz.. this year's valentine's day wasn't fun or exciting. just a normal dinner, a short walk along explanade then home. pretty dull to me.. but at least i spent it with my boy.. :)
kinda missed the valentine's day that i had last year. spent it with my close gal pals - jean, eunice, stef n esther. sat at marine promenade for 2-3 hours chatting, laughing, having fun n making lots of noise n chasing couples there away. haha. people there were so frustrated with us but yet couldn't do anything about it. hehe. we r evil~
work is ok.. but still, i do not intend to stay here long. it's simply not what i want to do. the accountant of the current company case that i'm doing now just got frustrated with me coz i keep getting her to fax me things. haha. i don't wish for that to happen but her company's accounts r so freaking huge n there r so many things that i need. irritating! i don't like it either. haha.
missed chinese new year gathering at irvin's place n the chance to meet up with all of them. think the last time i saw some of them was in dec on winston shifu's bday. sighz...
k.. time to start work.. though i'll be playing games 1st. hehe. :p
magz [9:16 AM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
walking in the woods...
i was watching a tv show just now when i heard this description of love.. "love is like walking in the woods. some people fall in love with the 1st tree that they see, but there are people who cannot decide which tree they prefer. in the end, these people walk out of the woods alone, without finding any tree that they love".
i find it quite meaningful. the woods may be big, but some people do manage to find a tree that they love. some people fall in love with the 1st tree that they see and it stays that way forever. some.. walk through the whole woods but due to indecisiveness, are not able to find any tree that they love coz they have either missed the chance n it's too late to turn back or they might have given up the chance. will they regret? some people do but some people don't. there's always 2 sides to a coin, isn't it?
some people might have walked into the woods, found a tree that they loved n lost but yet found another tree to stay together with. some, like me, walk through the woods, found many trees that they love n lost n finally found one that they know will be the final tree.
the woods is dense.. finding a tree that one truly love is not easy.. after finding a tree that u truly love, will u hold on to the tree forever as tightly as u can or will u be relaxed with it? holding on too tightly to the tree might cause it to be unable to breathe but being too relaxed with the tree might cause the tree to stray.. how does a person know how to make sure that he/she will be with the tree together forever?
finding the balancing point is not an easy feat but i'm sure if u truly love that person, u will know what to do when the time comes. may everyone find the tree they love~
magz [9:31 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
