Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Prejudice
It's not the first time I know that I'm not favoured by my supervisor at work but it happened again today. In my dept, 3 of us (including myself) are having problems solving some issues relating to work but yet, my supervisor helped the other 2 and not me. She helped L the most and my issue has been outstanding since May. My attitude now is "Whatever". She can help whoever she wants and I'll just let my issue sit there til it's escalated to management level. I can't be bothered anymore. Heck care everything at work. Life's unfair, as always.

Anyway, enough about the shit at work that I'm suffering from. Dy's coming back from London in the 4th week of August. Can't wait for him to be back coz then, we can chat via email more easily than now coz now, we only get to chat 4 hours daily. Yeah.. I'm that bored that everyday, I'm looking for people to chat with me via email. Sighz.. I'm wasting my time here without getting to learn. I HATE what I'm doing.

Hey, why am I back to that topic of work? Shucks!

With the help of Luke, I managed to input a player into my blog but yet to figure out if I can include a playlist into my player. Must find some time to work on it. :) And Felix has set up a blog too! Haha. Cool!!

Gotta go get changed for my kickboxing class. I'll blog again soon!

magz [6:32 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest
Just finished watching the movie with Tom and I loved it!! Have always loved the show ever since I watched The Black Pearl. Kiera Knightly is pretty, Johnny Depp is funny and most importantly, Orlando Bloom is handsome! Haha. But I still prefer this guy!! He's so drool-worthy, especially in this pic! :) Makes my knees go weak. Hehe.



















I think I screwed up on my phone interview with the other company. Somehow, I don't feel a thing. Everybody asked me how I knew I screwed up.. For several reasons but I'm too lazy to say more. Anyway, I have a bet with Meng on a round of drinks and with Dylan on chocolates that I won't get into the company. They say I will. Haha. Let's see who wins!! :p

Just had a fight with my dad on the phone. No more mood to blog. Til the next time..

magz [9:17 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Crisis at Work
It's been a tiring week ever since last Wednesday, 12 July. I've never been more confused and unsure of my future than now. My boss announced that she will be transferring dept and it's bad news to all of us coz she's been 1 of the nicest boss. Sighz..

Ever since her announcement, I've been wondering what I should do. I've requested to transfer depts to doing treasury operations but my dept head has told me to wait til end of this year. Honestly, I'm not sure if I wanna wait coz who knows what might happen by the end of the year. No matter how much they can promise me now, there's no certainty in things.

Furthermore, there's another company having openings now and I feel that it's quite a reputable place to be in. The only problem is that I dunno what the culture is like over there and I'll be doing the same things again, which means that I won't get to learn more stuff and be exposed to more. But that company sends staff to London for training and I'm interested in that part. I wanna go travelling and gain more exposure, to see how people in other countries work. I wanna learn as much as I can while I still have the chance.

To summarise,

Staying:
Pros:
(1) I get to transfer to another dept where I can learn things, which is very useful for any career move in future.
(2) I like most of the people and culture here.

Cons:
(1) I dunno when I'll be transferred - Is it end of this yr or will they drag longer?
(2) I miss out on the opportunity to join a company that I'm interested in.

Leaving:
Pros:
(1) I get a higher pay and to try working in another country.
(2) I'll be doing something I'm good at and improve myself better.

Cons:
(1) I dunno what's the culture there like.
(2) I don't get to learn new stuff and dunno how long I have to wait to be transferred to another dept.

Somebody tell me what to do!! I'm so so so confused.. I know that I should follow my heart but.. My heart doesn't know what it wants.. Sighz.. I'm so lost and in such a dilemma. :(

Met up with Eunice for dinner yesterday and we caught up on our lives and the lives of others. It's been almost 2 years since I last saw her. She hasn't changed much since the 1st day I know her. We used to be really close to each other.. So close that our sisters called us lesbian partners. Haha. We used to meet each other in school everyday and still call each other when we reach home. We could be on the phone for hours chatting. Haha. We had THAT much to talk about!! Miss those days dearly.. She's really a great friend all this while. :)

So.. back to the dilemma, somebody help me pls!!

magz [11:46 AM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Insomnia
This post should be published at 4.35 am but it couldn't be published..

Am suffering from insomnia tonite and have decided to finally put my thought of writing into action. Have been intending to update but somehow didn't. Haha. Maybe I'm just lazy.. Not a bad thing that I'm suffering from insomnia tonite anyway. At least I can catch Portugal vs France "Live" in action. Hope Portugal can win France coz France won my Spain.. Causing me a huge upset. Oh God, penalty given to France right now and Zidane scored. Sighz.... Tom will be happy but not me for sure.

Everybody at work has told me that I looked really upset and angry the day that Spain lost (I watched the whole match). It was the 1st match that I watched without dozing off and when the last 2 goals were scored, my heart broke and I felt like crying. Sighz.. Heard from Carissa that the big boss on 7th floor of my office building was so happy that he bought ice cream for all his stuff. Of coz he would be happy.. He's French! He even installed SCV in the office for the people working in Europe shift so that they can catch the action in the office. So unfair...

England and Brazil are out of World Cup as well. I'm just as sad and colleagues are scared of me. Haha. Honestly, if France wins tonite, my only hope is Italy.. Half time now and France is leading 1-0.. Panic...

Spent $2oo shopping for 2 hours last Monday when I was on leave and another $200+ on Thursday. The craziest fact is that I spent that amount on Thursday after shopping for 45 mins! Haha. It's called retail therapy to cure myself from the heartache I suffered when Spain lost. :) Think the shopping bugs are eating at me. Everywhere I walk, the clothes seem to be beckoning to me but I can't seem to find nice shoes. So ironic.

Wanna thank Meng for a blog entry specially for me, especially when it's the 1st entry that he wrote ever since he took his break. Thanx Meng! But he's going to Dubai soon and I'm sad.. I wanna go!! Ali's there too!! Maybe I shld take a holiday there soon since both Ali and Meng are there and I can stay with them (save $$ on hotel as standard of living there is not cheap). Meng will be there for 2 years. :( Happy that he found a job he likes but sad that another friend is no longer in Singapore. Meng, we'll meet up soon okies?

Really sad now.. I had already typed another 4 to 5 paragraphs but everything got deleted.. :(

Actually, quite a number of friends are overseas.. Ali - Dubai, Xiao Liang - UK for many years, Zub - New Zealand, Dylan - UK, Mic - US, Meng - soon to go Dubai, Buddy - may be going to Switzerland. Sighz.. When will it be my turn to work overseas? It's something that I wanna do before I get tied down by marriage, setting up a family and maintaining it. But I know that there's a major problem even if I wanna go now and that is, my dad. Now that my sis is married and has moved out, who's gonna look after him if I work overseas? Not that I'm home most of the day but at least I'm home at nite. Sighz.. I know he won't agree to the idea of me working in another country but I really hope that when the opportunity arises, I can take it without worrying about anything.

Had a busy weekend last week. Company organised a wine-tasting event on Saturday and I did volunteer work at MILK run on Sunday for the company selling hot dogs. But the table was too low and I had to bend the whole afternoon, causing me to strain my back muscle. Had severe back ache but thank god I'm alright now coz company has organised a dinner and dance performance for us to watch tomorrow nite. I'll be going with my former teacher. Hehe. There's BBQ at Carissa's place this Saturday as well coz she wanna thank us for helping out during Bernicia's pageant. :)

Went to work in town for a day yesterday (05/07) to do some testing. Didn't like it coz systems weren't working and it's not pple whom I know so it was kinda awkward. We weren't briefed before we went for the testing so it's quite chaotic as well. The only plus point is that I got to meet a lot of people whom I liaise with today and it's nice to put a face to the voices of the people whom I talk to over the phone. Most of them don't look like how I thought they will look though. Haha.

Had my mid-year appraisal done with my boss. She seemed more nervous than I was. Haha. She merely reinstated what she told me before last Dec and that I should learn more about system issues but I forgot to let her know that it's not coz I don't wanna learn. It's that there's someone who doesn't allow me to learn - my supervisor. She's the main problem why I can't learn anything. Sighz...

Will be having a 1 to 1 session with my big boss soon and it's kinda nerve-wrecking but it's not like he knows me well or I know well so I don't think he'll have much to say except to tell us that the company appreciates us and hopes that we'll stay. Lotsa people resigned and this is their way of retaining other staff who are still working in the company. I don't see much help in that but oh well, I'm not the management.. Only a small fry in the company so I'll just do as I'm told. But frankly, people who intend to leave won't be saying that and nobody will tell him what they are truly feeling and thinking. Trust me, I know that coz the guys in my dept are like that. They will complain and grumble all the time but when the time to tell the truth arises, they keep their mouths tight. So what's the point????

74 mins of the match and France is still leading 1-0.. Not good.. Sighz.. Think I can prepare to watch Portugal lose, shut down my laptop and try to sleep soon. Hopefully I can sleep.. Else, I'm sure I'll die at work tomorrow though I think I'll still die coz I'm really tired but can't sleep. Shucks! What's wrong with me?? :(

magz [3:34 AM]

*will dreams come true one day?*