Monday, January 05, 2015
Of Crows and Death
Been blogging a lot more lately it seems.. But wanted to get this off my chest/mind I guess...
Had a bad dream last night.. I was at home and hanging my laundry when I noticed that there were huge (and I really mean huge) crows downstairs at the void deck looking upwards. I was scared as I've always been afraid of crows. Quickly hung up all the clothes at the balcony and contemplated if I should close the windows for fear if the crows flying into the house. Decided to close the windows in the end.
Then it was while I was closing the windows that I realised 3 of them were lying at the ledge of my window grill (don't ask me how they can squeeze there.. It's a dream.. Anything can happen!). I did my best to close the windows as gently as I could to not disturb them. Managed to avoid waking 1 of them.. As I continued to close the windows, 1 of them woke to and as I hurried to close the windows real tight, it squeezed through the grills and flew into the house!!
I dashed into the kitchen toilet and the stupid door was faulty! Did my best to close the door and managed to escape from the crow! Then I heard a bark and I suddenly remembered that Sarah was staying with me and was sleeping on my living room couch! I had forgotten about her!
Quickly I opened the toilet door and tried to let Sarah in with me. Right at that moment, the stupid crow swooped down and pecked Sarah real hard on her left front leg! I grabbed the mop in the toilet and started whacking and pushing the crow away while trying to grab poor Sarah into the toilet. Slammed the door shut and washed poor Sarah's wound while she yelped and cried. :(
Can't really recall how the dream ended but I woke up being very frightened. People say dreaming of crows symbolizes death.. Not sure what to make of it, especially now that there's only me in the house and the crows were at my place. I'm not scared or afraid of dying, in fact I yearn for it. Just don't make it too painful for me, that's the only thing I ask for.
magz [5:52 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Saturday, January 03, 2015
1st weekend of 2015
Went to see gram this morning per usual, and was pleasantly surprised! Gram was wide awake and even said a couple of words though we weren't able to hear clearly what she was saying. I'm over the moon!!!! It's been a long long long long time since gram actually opened her eyes and acknowledged us!! :)))))) Can't stop smiling at the sight of gram this morning whenever I think about it.
And I did what gram used to do for me when I was young - rub cream all over her legs as she has some bed sores and eczema sprouting up. When I was in Secondary School and JC, she would purposely wake me up 15 mins earlier. Not by shaking or waking me up but by switching on the light and sitting on my bed, rubbing cream all over my eczema filled arms and legs. And that was how I gradually recovered from eczema and got rid of some of the scars. I'll never ever forget those days coz it was gram's tender loving care that made me look beautiful. :) I'm such a crybaby.. Just thinking of that brings tears to my eyes.. :X But I'm forever grateful and indebted to gram for taking such good care of me all those years..
After seeing gram and as she started falling asleep again, we (Aunt Marg, Uncle Charles, Ann and Peg) left for breakfast at Old Airport Road. Had my favorite Albert Street Prawn Noodles with pig's intestine. Yummylicious!!! I polished off the whole bowl of noodles including more from Uncle Charles's bown as he couldn't finish and drank all the soup! Hahahaha. Can't help it! The soup was soooo sweet! Love it!!
All was good til they started talking about Adrian's divorce and I switched off mentally. And right at that moment, radio was playing "Foolish Beat" by Debbie Gibson. Another song that suits me and makes this crybaby sad. :X Sigh... What a spoiler to my otherwise beautiful morning. Not gonna think about it anymore. I'm hungry now and am going to fill my head with thoughts of food to tune out everything else. :p
magz [3:47 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Thursday, January 01, 2015
Start of 2015
And so, my birthday came and went. Another year older, another year wiser? Not sure about the wiser part but definitely feel old. Thank you to my family and friends for remembering and the meals that I've been having! But it has also made me see who really care for me! :)
2014 is now gone. Start of 2015.. What will this year bring? I wonder.. Will it be another bad year again? The positivity in me has vanished... Too much bad stuff in my life that it's worn me out thoroughly.
Heard this song on radio as Jianwei was sending me home... Suits me to the core..
一辈子的孤单 - 刘若英
我想我会一直孤单
这一辈子都这么孤单
我想我会一直孤单
这样孤单一辈子
天空越蔚蓝
越怕抬头看
电影越圆满
就越觉得伤感
有越多的时间
就越觉得不安
因为我总是孤单
过着孤单的日子
喜欢的人不出现
出现的人不喜欢
有的爱犹豫不决
还在想他就离开
想过要将就一点
却发现将就更难
于是我学着乐观
过着孤单的日子
当孤单已经变成一种习惯
习惯到我已经不再去想该怎么办
就算心烦意乱
就算没有人作伴
自由和落寞之间怎么换算
我独自走在街上看着天空找不到答案
我没有答案
天空已蔚蓝
我会抬头看
电影越圆满
就越珍惜伤感
有越多的时间
就越习惯不安
因为我总会孤单
过着孤单的日子
我想我会一直孤单
magz [9:14 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
