Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Materialistic Gains or Fulfillment in Life?
At a gathering with the usual ex colleagues gang of KK, Goldie and Justin. Somehow the topics were all involving money, pay, condos and cars. A very materialistic conversation the whole night. And also the immense pressure by my brothers on me to change jobs.
Which led me thinking back to the conversation I had with Ky today - materialistic gains or fulfillment in life. I'm no longer sure which direction I'm heading towards. I mean, of coz I would like to be more decently paid for the amount of work I do (I am the lowest paid amongst all my ex colleagues despite being in middle office whereas some are still in operations). I don't think I'm asking for too much but 5 years of being stagnant in terms of pay and ranking is bound to make any normal person unhappy and unsatisfied. And that's where I am right now.
Then comes fulfillment - does it come with a condo, a car, more money? The fulfillment Ky and I were talking about is actually on how we can contribute to the society, to our world. Definitely not the monetary sense. We are interested and keen to help others so she's gonna be planning some sort of fund raising thing and I've told her I'll help her out in every way.
I'm not sure if I'm gonna be materialistic in my life though more money is of coz better. But I don't want to make myself into a money slave. If I can, I'll be more than happy to give up my job to go to some country that needs help and be a volunteer for a while.
Maybe I should do what Jimson did. - take a break from everything to 'find' myself. I'm glad to be reconnected with a friend whom I can talk to and at least make me see that not everything in the world is about money. He is like a good balance in my rat racing life.
Time to think and consider about everything in my life. By the way, the expectations came crashing down and thank god I wasn't expecting much so disappointment is minimal. :)
magz [9:15 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
You Are Relevant To Me
Quick update before I head off to dreamland.
Been feeling kinda down from work lately as I feel that my Singapore team lead has something against me. Hasn't been a good year thus far but hasn't been all that bad as well. So what happened to make me really displeased today was that on Monday, we had new China management associate (MA) who joined our desk. My team lead, N, introduced him to all the other team members except me.
Today, we had a new big boss joining us on the floor. Again, the introductions did not come to me. Even the sales guy who was sitting next to us was introduced to the boss and this sales guy is totally irrelevant to the team! Whereas I was totally neglected again. It just makes me feel like I'm not part of the team and definitely feel that I'm very out of place and redundant to the team. :(
So there I was, pouring my heart out to Eeyore and I felt so upset by such an act that I almost felt like crying. I held back the tears of coz. Why should I let them have the pleasure of making me unhappy. Headed out for lunch to calm down and relax when I suddenly received a sms from Eeyore saying "You are relevant to me".
I melted. Never felt more touched than that. Nothing else mattered anymore. I have never ever known Eeyore to be so sweet and those 5 words were all that I needed there and then. :) In bliss.. Felt soooo blessed that I have no more complaints. My dark overcast sky is now blue again. Thank you for those lovely words, Eeyore!!
On other news, I met Jimson for lunch today. He still looks the same, jus a little weight gain. Life is amazing and weird sometimes. I don't recall ever being this close to him before - as in eating together or talking this much or knowing much about each other. And it all started coz we were playing Scramble with Friends against each other. Suddenly, we are meeting up and we had so much to talk about, I'm sure we'll meet for lunch again soon!
Life's little pleasures make everything perfect. ^.^
magz [11:27 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Fulfilment
Just spent an entire hour alone with the woman that I love, the woman who gave birth to a man who has passed away for 4 years now - a woman known as my gram.
Told her many things, not that she knows or understands anymore but jus wanted to tell her. Like how I used to lie next to her in bed and talking to her about stuff. :) told her I'll be going to Hk this weekend and she actually repeated the words "hong kong"! Unbelievable! I think she misses her homeland..
I seriously should make a better effort at waking up early on Saturdays to visit my beloved gram. Gives me a sense of fulfillment and happiness. :)
Something might happen soon. Currently I'm unsure and uncertain as yet. Keeping hopes and expectations low to avoid disappointment. :p
Have a good weekend!
magz [10:03 AM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Of Love, Weddings and Food
Just realised I didn't blog about Valentine's Day. Lol!! Oh well, like I said last year - when you love someone, everyday can be Valentine's Day. :) Just that on this special day, we show more love towards each other. We had a simple dinner at Paradise Inn (Thomson Plaza) on Valentine's Day, followed up with another dinner 2 days later at Greenwood Fish Market Bistro. :D
My Valentine's Day flowers! *Melts*
Last Wed (22 Feb), I decided to make dinner - macaroni and cheese. Little did I know that Eeyore wasn't a big fan of mac & cheese. :( Oh well, I liked what I made and since we had extras leftover, I brought it to office for lunch the next day. And guess what!! Chris S, YH and Martin all liked it!! Chris S loved it soooo much that he asked for more of it at 4pm! Hahaha. Soooo over the moon!
On Sunday (26 Feb), I made dinner again! The most satisfying dinner that I've made thus far!! I just felt a certain sense of pride after cooking the dinner. :) Just that I forgot to clean the plate after steaming the fish before taking the picture. Hehe.
Attended Diana's wedding on Tues nite (21 Feb) and saw many of my ex-DBS colleagues! So glad to see them again! So much to talk about, so much to catch up on. Pity that our big group photo is in Linda's hp. :( Congrats to dearest Diana and YQ for finally tying the knot after so many years!!! Happy for you guys!!
And on Sat afternoon (25 Feb), Eeyore and I attended BS and Esther's wedding! Everyone kept asking when our turn is. Lol! So embarrassing. :X Anyway, happy for this couple as well!! Stay sweet and blissful forever!
magz [7:45 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Dragon year thus far..
Back from lovely Hk 2.5 weeks ago! Had a nasty rash for 3 days which subsequently got better but it's still not at its 100% yet. :( hopefully I will recover fully soon!
It's only February and I must say albeit dragon year is supposedly a horrible year for me, I've had a lot of ups n downs. Ups - watched "Love" (a taiwanese movie) last nite and it was super good! Loved the show heaps and Bee, whom I watched the show with last nite, actually bought me the soundtrack this morning! Omg! She's awesome! And Jean bought me something much needed today too, aka brush covers for my makeup brushes! With marvelous friends like that, I know I'm blessed even in times of a bad year. :)))
Downs - screw ups at work that were the result of a system issue but I had to suffer the brunt of my team lead's anger and fury. Work is not as fun and enjoyable as it used to be and I've a good mind to leave or change job soon. Not sure how long I can take this but I'll try to fulfil my 2 years obligation. I know I'll miss my team though..
Oh.. And I had the best Sunday where both toilet bowls at home were spoilt!! Great experience huh? After cycling from east coast park to changi jetty (30-40km), all I wanted to do was take a dump and shower then sleep. Yet I spent 2 hours in the bathroom trying to sort out a jammed toilet bowl! Sighhhh..
Attended Diana and YQ's wedding earlier. I am soooo happy for them!! They are finally settling down!! The lovely friends I've made while I was.a temp staff in 2004 were there too and I miss the good old days when I was still young. Miss my ex colleagues and friends too!!
2.5 more weeks til I fly to HK again!! Can't wait! Eagerly counting down! Tokyo trip in May is cancelled. How saddening.. I must plan something else if possible. Oh.. My team was talkin about going to Phuket in late May or June!! I hope our plans go through and we can all have a good time together! :p
magz [11:54 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
