Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Materialistic Gains or Fulfillment in Life?
At a gathering with the usual ex colleagues gang of KK, Goldie and Justin. Somehow the topics were all involving money, pay, condos and cars. A very materialistic conversation the whole night. And also the immense pressure by my brothers on me to change jobs.
Which led me thinking back to the conversation I had with Ky today - materialistic gains or fulfillment in life. I'm no longer sure which direction I'm heading towards. I mean, of coz I would like to be more decently paid for the amount of work I do (I am the lowest paid amongst all my ex colleagues despite being in middle office whereas some are still in operations). I don't think I'm asking for too much but 5 years of being stagnant in terms of pay and ranking is bound to make any normal person unhappy and unsatisfied. And that's where I am right now.
Then comes fulfillment - does it come with a condo, a car, more money? The fulfillment Ky and I were talking about is actually on how we can contribute to the society, to our world. Definitely not the monetary sense. We are interested and keen to help others so she's gonna be planning some sort of fund raising thing and I've told her I'll help her out in every way.
I'm not sure if I'm gonna be materialistic in my life though more money is of coz better. But I don't want to make myself into a money slave. If I can, I'll be more than happy to give up my job to go to some country that needs help and be a volunteer for a while.
Maybe I should do what Jimson did. - take a break from everything to 'find' myself. I'm glad to be reconnected with a friend whom I can talk to and at least make me see that not everything in the world is about money. He is like a good balance in my rat racing life.
Time to think and consider about everything in my life. By the way, the expectations came crashing down and thank god I wasn't expecting much so disappointment is minimal. :)
magz [9:15 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
You Are Relevant To Me
Quick update before I head off to dreamland.
Been feeling kinda down from work lately as I feel that my Singapore team lead has something against me. Hasn't been a good year thus far but hasn't been all that bad as well. So what happened to make me really displeased today was that on Monday, we had new China management associate (MA) who joined our desk. My team lead, N, introduced him to all the other team members except me.
Today, we had a new big boss joining us on the floor. Again, the introductions did not come to me. Even the sales guy who was sitting next to us was introduced to the boss and this sales guy is totally irrelevant to the team! Whereas I was totally neglected again. It just makes me feel like I'm not part of the team and definitely feel that I'm very out of place and redundant to the team. :(
So there I was, pouring my heart out to Eeyore and I felt so upset by such an act that I almost felt like crying. I held back the tears of coz. Why should I let them have the pleasure of making me unhappy. Headed out for lunch to calm down and relax when I suddenly received a sms from Eeyore saying "You are relevant to me".
I melted. Never felt more touched than that. Nothing else mattered anymore. I have never ever known Eeyore to be so sweet and those 5 words were all that I needed there and then. :) In bliss.. Felt soooo blessed that I have no more complaints. My dark overcast sky is now blue again. Thank you for those lovely words, Eeyore!!
On other news, I met Jimson for lunch today. He still looks the same, jus a little weight gain. Life is amazing and weird sometimes. I don't recall ever being this close to him before - as in eating together or talking this much or knowing much about each other. And it all started coz we were playing Scramble with Friends against each other. Suddenly, we are meeting up and we had so much to talk about, I'm sure we'll meet for lunch again soon!
Life's little pleasures make everything perfect. ^.^
magz [11:27 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Fulfilment
Just spent an entire hour alone with the woman that I love, the woman who gave birth to a man who has passed away for 4 years now - a woman known as my gram.
Told her many things, not that she knows or understands anymore but jus wanted to tell her. Like how I used to lie next to her in bed and talking to her about stuff. :) told her I'll be going to Hk this weekend and she actually repeated the words "hong kong"! Unbelievable! I think she misses her homeland..
I seriously should make a better effort at waking up early on Saturdays to visit my beloved gram. Gives me a sense of fulfillment and happiness. :)
Something might happen soon. Currently I'm unsure and uncertain as yet. Keeping hopes and expectations low to avoid disappointment. :p
Have a good weekend!
magz [10:03 AM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
