Sunday, March 27, 2005
long weekend~
something's wrong with my blog.. the page won't load properly. it's been this way for the whole week. think i've gotta figure out what's wrong with it.
finally, it's a long weekend~! been waiting for long weekends for me to catch up on my sleep for a long time now. haha. feels good. :p
woke up at 12 on friday. felt so good to finally be able to sleep past morning! woke up, bathed and waited for tom to pick me up. went to a friend's (tak sing) place and he told us that he'll be going to dongguan for work for 2 years but he'll try to come back once every 6 months. his elder brother came home at about 4 and started to make noise that he wanted to bathe before his dad. after which, he started to cook german sausages. think it's a bit stupid to bathe 1st then cook coz u still smell after that but anyway, it's not my problem.
got a bit pissed off though. i commented that the sausages smelt good so my friend asked his brother if there's enough for us to share. his brother said that there was only enough for 2-3 people so i told tak sing that it's ok. tak sing insisted that he wants some n that we could cut the sausage to smaller pieces to share and his elder brother started saying things like the sausages are not the cheap kind, it's the real thing kind.. that it's expensive and if we wanna eat, we've got to pay. i got pissed off n i commented to tom and another friend (yong ming) that i wanted to leave. yong ming said that it is the way tak sing n his brother communicates. i don't care. i mean, come on.. we're after all your brother's guests. his brother even purposely said loudly that he's giving his father a portion of the food coz his dad deserved it. i wanted to tell him to fuck off.
now's the time for me to give my piece of mind to him coz i controlled myself so as not to make tak sing feel bad. (kylie shouldn't be reading this part!) we do not yearn for your god damn it sausages. i've eaten enough good things in my life and i don't think your sausages are considered one of them. if i want to eat sausages that are good, i can always go to marche or some hotel to eat it. don't think of yourself as so fucking great, u god damn fucking arrogant asshole. u spoilt my mood for my 15th month anniversary totally. bloody jackass. no wonder u have got no gf coz u're fucking selfish, arrogant and u dunno the basic courtesy and respect for anyone, especially guests. the next time i go your place n u give any fucking comment or disrespect, i'm not giving tak sing face anymore coz u don't deserve it! fuck off and leave the house if u don't like it coz i'm staying put there. bloody bastard!
ah.. now i feel so much better. all that bottled up anger and fury has been released. can't stand that stupid guy.
anyway, i woke up at 12+ again on saturday. haha. waited for tom to pick me up and in the end, i watched tv til 2pm before i went to bathe. he had to wait for me while i bathed and got ready. hehe. went to his place for lunch n luckily, we drank the soup 1st coz no more was left when we returned for dinner. miss congeniality 2 was nice. funny at parts so it made the show quite good. sandra bullock does look pretty in the show. the only thing that spoilt it was the couple sitting next to me. the guy had to explain everything to the gal in chinese which i don't understand why coz the gal is obviously a singaporean. she couldn't understand the show as in who's who and some of the things that they say. made me so irritated coz the guy was quite loud and he made so many extra sounds while watching like the 'oohhs' and 'aahhss'. sighz.. another spoiler.
went back to tom's place for dinner where we realised that the soup was finished by the all the uncles and aunties at his place. decided to go out and eat instead. went to macdonalds to have our dinner. wasn't too bad coz we had our alone time. hehe. went back to his place n i fell sleep while he watched his snooker tape. woke up and wanted to watch the match between england vs nothern ireland but fell asleep while watching again. haha. woke up at half time to find out that tom was watching 'alien'. watched it together with him and went home after the show.
was supposed to visit grandma today but couldn't wake up. woke up at 11+.. watched tape all the way til 4 and went back to take a nap. woke up at 7 and here i am, typing my blog and not sure why my blog can't load properly. sighz..
k.. tom's finished bathing so it's time for dinner! he smells so good now. hehe. :)
magz [7:36 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Thursday, March 24, 2005
happy 15th month~
went for my citibank 2nd interview on tuesday. don't think i answered too well coz i was pretty brain dead due to lack of sleep and working in the morning. not trying to find excuses for myself though. now's the time whereby i can do nothing but jus sit n wait. haha. to my dbs gals, thanx for asking how i did. u were the only who remembered.. as usual. thanx gal~!
this week has been pretty hectic. been doing ot at work.. partially to wait for tom.. the other part is coz i'm supposed to rush my accounts. thanx to jessica who's been helping me so much all these while and for staying back til 8 to accompany me on tues nite! she's a really sweet gal who even helped me apply cream on my back when my rash started acting up in the office. :) i'll really miss her if i leave the company.
rash has really been acting up quite badly these days. i hate the haze! it alwiz causes me to have this stupid problem. can't stand it. i hate the smell coz too much of it makes me get a headache and it causes my rash to act up. stupid dumb haze.
tomorrow is my 15th month together with tom. some people may be wondering.. has it been that long? well, if u haven't figured it out.. then too bad. haha. most people who know me well enough will know what happened coz i've told them. jus wanna tell my boy that these 15 months have been good and bad. hope we have many more to go. happy 15 months dear~!
yes diana, i'll treasure him~! hehe.
gotta stop writing.. the naggy bf of mine is complaining about this.. about that.. must go n entertain him. haha.
oh ya.. hi ali!!!! nice talking to u too!!! miss u!!! can't wait for u to be back in singapore!! :)
n jean, how's studying n things coming along? haven't talked to u for a while now.. hope u're doing ok. take care babe! *hugz*
magz [9:51 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Sunday, March 20, 2005
meritus mandarin..
firstly, happy bday to meng~!!
went for karaoke with dbs gals on wed. had quite a lot of fun. it was really a time to de-stress and unwind for all of us. had lots of laughter, chatting and fun. i enjoyed myself a lot! thanx gals! hope we can do this more often. hehe. mich has left dbs to prepare her portfolio for university. mich, all the best ya?? :p remember to keep in touch!
went to meritus mandarin for lunch with my big boss and colleagues. sort of a company lunch thingy. went to a buffet restaurant there known as triple 3. i must say that it was a scrumptious lunch! we had lots of fresh oysters, salmon sashimi, smoked salmon, lobsters, chocolate related desserts and not to mention, the wine!! haha. was really awesome!
i realised that my big boss is actually quite an ok kind of guy when he ain't losing his temper and blowing his top. yesterday's lunch was kinda ok. he's the kind of fella who likes to brag but other than that, lunch was considerably good. just don't catch him when he's in one of his 'moods' and screaming at people. it's really awful when u listen to the things he says when he's losing control of himself. :(
guess i ate too much during the lunch and with the wine, i didn't feel too good after that. was really bloated. think i spoilt the day for tom coz i felt too sick to go shopping. nearly puked in the toilet but it refused to come out. had to cut the afternoon short by going straight to his house for a rest. fell asleep almost immediately when i reached and only woke up at 5. tom was really nice to jus let me sleep and watch tv by himself in his sis's room. sorry dear, if i spoilt the whole sat for u.. :_(
rested a short while and went to catch 'in good company' at 7.10. we had already bought the tickets on fri thro internet booking so i decided not to waste the money. was pretty ok til halfway during the show. my headache came back and i couldn't really focus on the show after that. felt restless and sick again.
went straight back to his place after the show coz i was supposed to watch the amazing race which he recorded for me when i went for karaoke on wed. couldn't even made myself sit up when i reached his place. took a panadol and tried to sleep. tom accompanied me in the room by using the computer, with the lights off!! bad for his eyes but he was afraid that i couldn't sleep with the light on. he stayed for a while and as i gradually drifted to dreamland, he whispered in my ear that he would be in his sis's room watching tv. told me that he'll check on me every 15 mins and if i felt sick or wanted to puke, i jus need to shout for him. felt really touched by his care and concern. felt the love from him and it jus made me feel so sweet. and he didn't even feel angry or disappointed that i couldn't spend the day with him properly. :p
wanna thank him for taking such good care of me when i felt so sick and terrible. he's really seen me thro good times and bad times. and the wonderful thing is that he is always there to share it with me. nothing makes me feel better than when he shares my joys and sorrows, takes care of me when i'm sick and unwell. it really jus shows me what a great guy i have got, hopefully for the rest of my life. i don't want any of this to end and i hope it can last forever. thanx sweetie, for everything! *hugz*
magz [6:16 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
lunch...
went out with anne and jean on saturday. felt great to catch up and go shopping together again. it's something that we've always done together and it felt juz like before. had fun chatting, eating sushi, talking about our boyfriends, and shopping and buying clothes. hehe. it was really a wonderful time spent. :p thanx gals!!! *hugz*
spent sunday grocery shopping. was tiring!! bought so much stuff that we could barely carry it home. had to lug everything up the lift and my hands really ached after that. haha. the problem with 1 shot grocery shopping after 3 to 4 months. but hey, at least i'm spending less on grocery shopping! haha. thanx to my sis.. coz she uses the most stuff when she was at home. now that there's only my dad and me at home, i can afford to go grocery shopping once every quarter of the year. ;p
meng, doris is a nice gal. not many people can stand your kind of attitude u know? i can be a great friend of yours, but i don't think i'll be able to stand your attitude if i were your gf. don't make her upset again. she's sweet and nice to u, can stand your temper and everything else.. so u must not make her upset. wouldn't want to see u having 3 new friends (in my previous blog) - lost, regret and cherish. i wouldn't want that to happen to u k? promise me u'll treat her better and love her totally. stop making her disappointed. u must learn to be responsible, more caring, more loving, sweeter and nicer to her. it's a MUST!!!! :)
my big boss, mr chan, is giving the whole office a treat on saturday. he's treating us to lunch at 'top of the m'. it's a revolving restaurant at the top (or 2nd top) floor of meritus mandarin. been there once before when i was in secondary school. it's a nice place for lunch n expensive too! wonder why he's suddenly treating us. hmmz... will it be bad if i resign 1 week after the lunch? sighz.. headache.. dunno what to do but everybody jus tells me to go and eat 1st then decide. guess i'll go for the lunch and see what happens after that. i still have to go thro another round of interview anyway and i'm not sure if i'll be chosen or not yet. so, i'll just go for the lunch, and the interview on tues. at most if i'm leaving, i'll tender at the end of march which is 1 week after the lunch. haha. we'll see how things go..
magz [9:37 AM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
20...30...40...
my boss, mr quek, has been quite stressed recently.. not really coz of work but more coz of his son who wants to change from studying in a polytechnic to a junior college. his son blames his parents for wanting him to study in a polytechnic. guess everybody has got this sort of feeling before. was talking to mr quek when i realised that something he said was quite true n it struck me.
mr quek said.. at our twenties, what is important to employers is your degree. at our thirties, it will be experience and at our forties, what counts will be wisdom, strength and potential to help the company grow. this sentence strucked a chord in me. it's true. at our age now (twenties), when u look for a job, employers look at your degree coz most grads are inexperienced at this time. we have never really worked as a permanent staff before so they can only judge and employ u based on your level of education and degree.
at our thirties, we should have gained at least some sort of working experience. when u wanna change job at this age, employers will base their opinion on the experience that u have and whether it's relevant. this is the stage where your pay will be slightly higher and employers might not want to pay that price. therefore, we must make sure that our experience can help us obtain what we want.
at our forties, what really counts will be your potential. my boss said that his boss told him when he was at his forties (he's in his fifties now) that he was too expensive to the company. which was why he decided to be his own employer. so, if u do not have the capability and finance to be your own employer and your boss tells u that, what are u going to do? guess u really have to show how u can still contribute to the company and improve. prove that u have the potential to help the company grow.
so now with a degree, it's time for me to kickstart my career with experience to ensure that i can continue to stay in the working world. it's time for me to carve out a path for myself and see how things work out. :)
magz [9:21 AM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Saturday, March 12, 2005
lost, regret and cherish..
watched a hong kong drama serial a few nights ago. 2 brothers were chatting coz the younger brother had a quarrel with his girlfriend and they were at the 'cooling down' period. the elder brother told his younger brother, "i know 3 buddies.. they are closely related but they never appear together before. these 3 buddies are known as lost, regret and cherish/treasure."
i feel that what he said is true. people often experienced these 3 feelings after something has happened. we only start to feel regretful after we have lost something, especially someone u love. it's only after we regret what has happened that we start to learn to cherish and treasure things. how many of us have lost someone we truly love, regret that we didn't cherish the person when he/she is around and that we didn't do more to show our love for him/her??
i learnt these 3 feelings the hard way.. when i was 8.. when my mum passed away.. i love her (present tense coz i still do) and i regret i wasn't able to show her more, give her more, to spend more time with her. after she was gone, i knew i had to cherish and treasure every moment, everything, and everybody close to me. i don't want to wait til i no longer have the chance to do it. which is why my personality is the way it is. i prefer to be optimistic, to look on the bright side of life, to be happy every moment of my time.
i like the way i am. i treasure every moment of my life and i live every day to the fullest. i try to live my life with no regrets. which is why when i look back at the past 15 years (after what happened when i was 8), i can proudly say that i've never regretted any decisions that i've made (unless the decision wasn't made by me). i might feel a little sad at some things that might have happened before or some breakups that i initiated, but i don't regret coz i know that things happen for a reason.
people might not agree with my thinking or look at me differently, but i choose not to bother. i've learnt to let go and to live my life the way i like, the way i'm happy with, and the way that i choose. i no longer want to let other people's opinion affect me and get me down the way it used to. my life is mine. i don't other people to ruin it for me. as long as i'm happy, that's good enough.
i just want to say, don't ever regret any decisions u've made in life coz we should live a life with no regrets. however, we have to cherish and treasure everything and every moment when we can. do not wait til u've lost and regretted something before u learn to cherish and treasure the people around u. show more care and concern for the people around u and live each day to the fullest. that's the way life should be.. to be happy. :)
so smile, coz u never know who is falling in love with ur smile.
magz [12:22 AM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Thursday, March 10, 2005
real madrid lost!
i'm so upset right now. woke up at 3.30am to see my real madrid crash and burn out of uefa's champions league while idiotic juventus go thro. even liverpool went thro!! what the hell! hope juventus get kicked out of the next round. bloody assholes.
sometimes i wonder what real madrid's coach, vanderlei luxemburgo, is thinking about. he should have put michael owen into the game long ago but he waited til they went into extra time before he was willing to substitute owen in. freaking piece of shit. and raul bravo didn't clear the ball away properly causing real madrid to lose in extra time. it's so dumb!!!!!!!
real madrid has got too many strikers and lack good quality defenders. it's really time for them to buy good defenders. it was a mistake to let morientes and makelele go. sighz... what i'm really afraid of now is that some of the players might want to leave coz real madrid hasn't been winning any titles, leagues or cups for the 2 years! owen joined real madrid coz liverpool wasn't making the cut to win and real madrid was. now, liverpool got thro to the next round but real madrid has been crushed.
seeing all the sad, disappointed and disbelief on my beloved real madrid players' faces is enough to make me upset. which is why i can't sleep now and it's 6.30am. i've got to start preparing for work in another half an hour's time but i doubt i'll be able to fall asleep. too upset to sleep. all i can wish for now is that ac milan will thrash juventus, if possible. can only support ac milan now. but i prefer my real madrid anytime!!!!!!! why???? why must they lose?? i'm willing to sacrifice my sleep for them but they are such a letdown.
only hope that no players will leave real madrid coz i like them the way they are now.. except to buy more defenders. only hope that all the strikers and most importantly, goalkeeper iker casillas. really sincerely hope that they won't leave the club!!!! sighz... so sad..
magz [6:17 AM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
basic acts of courtesy..
i'm not sure if it's coz we're singaporeans. at times, i do feel ashamed to be known as a singaporean but this probably applies to most countries. as technology improves, it seems as if people's sense of morality, ethics and basic sense of courtesy are disappearing.
while boarding or alighting the bus or train, everyone will squeeze with one another, fighting for the seats. even when pregnant ladies or old people board the bus, nobody will volunteer to give up their seats. i simply don't understand why. when these people get a seat on the bus or train, they can pretend that nothing has happened though a pregnant lady is standing right in front of them. honestly, i look down and despise these sort of people. what's wrong with standing on a bus or train if u're young and healthy? why can't people just be a bit more courteous? i simply don't understand. this has happened in so many occasions that sometimes i feel like scolding these people. it's such a simple thing to do, yet...
it's the same for saying 'please' and 'thank you' when u need a favour from people or if someone has helped u. don't take it for granted that people are supposed to help coz we are not. is it so difficult to say thank you to people u don't know? i've come across some occasions when there are people who just stand right in front of the door and expect u to open it for them when they see u approaching. we're completely strangers and yet, i'm being expected to be their butlers and open the door for them so that they can even save the strength to open the door. what kind of logic is that? unless your hands are crippled or useless, if not i don't see why u can't open the door yourself.
i'm sure there are many more times when i wish that people would be a bit more courteous. i'm not saying that i'm totally perfect, but i do try to do whatever i can. i'll always say thank you and please, and i'll give up my seats to people who need them more than me. that's the least i can do. at least it makes other people's day and it does make mine too. to be able to help.
guess what vincent said is right. i should either be a volunteer, or open an orphanage or old folks' home. haha. it doesn't take much to do that little bit. it doesn't kill or make u lose an arm or a leg to help someone. so why not just take that little bit of effort to make someone happy? it will make u happy too, to have helped someone. :)
i used to peep at other people's newspapers when they read it on the bus or train, but jeremy taught me not to do it coz it's actually quite rude. i've learnt not to do that coz i don't like it when others do it to me too. the phrase 'do not what u would not want others to do unto u' really does apply in this situation i guess. wanna thank jeremy for teaching me this. jer, u've taught me many more things n i still remember them! hehe. :p
so, hopefully everyone can just do that little bit more to brighten someone else's day. that will make this world a nicer place to live in. ^_^
magz [11:10 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Monday, March 07, 2005
multi-level marketing..
multi-level marketing (mlm) aka pyramid selling has never been something that i approve of or agree with. the people up there just takes your money without having to do a single shit and that's so unfair. i've just found out that nu skin is a mlm kind of company and much as i thought of buying their products, i no longer wanna do that now. neither will i be doing sales part time there. but i've wasted $240 on the stuff that i bought. i'll make full use of them and finish them up but no more money will be spent on any of their products. how to break it to my friend and not spoil our friendship is something that i have to seriously ponder about.
yesterday was a pretty boring sunday as per usual. woke up early to visit grandma. she's healthy and good. glad about that. but she fell down sometime during the week and hit her head. that hurts coz i don't like to see her injuring herself. luckily she's alright. went home after that, watched a bit of tape and went to sleep. my nap was from 1pm to about 4.30pm. haha. did the laundry, bathed and juz stoned around the house. watched moulin rouge on tv from 7pm to 9.30pm.1st time i watched the whole show. tom came over at about 8+ and we had dinner together in front of the tv. haha.
today is a monday.. the most dreaded day of the whole week for me coz of stupid weekly meetings that waste my time. n now that we've got a new audit manager, i think meetings will be even longer n more draggy than ever. this is going to kill me. sighz.. stupid meetings.. if only i can get myself out of it.. that will be good.. sighz..
magz [8:54 AM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Sunday, March 06, 2005
along the beach...
today has been quite a great day. woke up early in the morning.. not something that i do on weekends but i did. haha. went for free facial trial recommended by a friend. 3 of my jc council friends are working there part time so they've asked most of our council people to try it out. i'm one of the last to go for the trial. well, it was ok.. they were selling nu skin products n i did see a little improvement with my skin, especially my dark eye rings. they did lighten up a bit. bought some products from them and it costs me $240!!! felt a bit cheated at first but upon further thoughts, it's time i take care of my face now.. it's been 22 years and i've never really bothered about it. not getting younger so i better take care of it now.
still deciding if i should buy the spa package to remove my eye rings but they cost $342!!! need to see if i'm getting more pay or not first. with the pay i'm getting now and all the bills that i'm paying, i can't really afford to spend this sort of money. my friends did ask me to join them in working there. they're earning $1000+ to $2000 doing part time only! sounds like good money to me but it's sales, which is not something that i'm good at. i'm considering though. won't decide so fast coz if i change jobs, i won't get to meet tom so often and if i still work part time on saturdays, i won't get to see him! must think about it first.
after facial, tom picked me up and we went to ikea to help his mum buy the metal gate to prevent his dogs from entering the house. was pretty quick with shopping there coz we were supposed to go to the career fair at suntec and to meet jean n dilun for our double date and catch the show 'hitch' together. bought burger king take-away and ate it in the car at ikea's carpark. hehe.
went down to suntec after that but coz we walked around the warehouse sale at the convention centre and the wedding fair, we didn't have much time to go to the career fair before the show. rushed back to marine square to meet jean and dilun who gave us our tickets for the show first coz dilun was eating lunch at 3.40pm!! haha. anyway, they made it in time for the show.
the show was good. funny and nice. i liked it. more my kind of show. hehe. jean dressed up for her date with dilun. :p jean, u r in love. admit it manz! can see it. really.. :) very very happy for u! i had fun today! thanx babe!
went to career fair to take a look after the show with jean and dilun. it was supposed to be tom and dilun looking for jobs but i was the only one who found something nice. haha. got some pamphlets to apply for power98fm or dongli 88.3fm. thinking of a few posts - producer presenter aka dj, music executive/director, promotions & publicity executive, or finance & admin executive. my main interest and aim is actually for the producer presenter role. has always been something that i want. to be a radio dj. not sure if my family will allow coz to them it'll be a waste of my degree and many years of studying, but i really wanna do something that i like for once. all these years, i've done what they've wanted me to. now, i'll like to do something for myself. i'll try out for the post. if it doesn't work out, at least i know i've tried. :)
ended our double date after the career fair. was about 7.30pm by then. went back to tom's place for dinner coz his mum cooked curry fish head. was really spicy! couldn't really take it but ate whatever i could. suggested to tom earlier in the day that i wanted to go east coast park for a walk so we went after dinner.
was nice to walk at east coast beach. this is our 3rd time there together. 1st 2 times we just sat at the break water, looked at the stars and chatted. today i wanted to do something different. we walked along the beach. it was nice to do that.. holding hands, walking along the coastline feeling the sand on your feet, listening to the sound of the waves, looking at the stars. it was beautiful. felt the romance rekindling. i enjoyed myself during the whole time. wished tom was more willing to let the sea water seep thro the feet though but he was afraid that the sea water would be dirty coz it was too dark to see. sighz.. but i still enjoyed every minute of it. it was nice and sweet. ^_^
went back to his place after that. fell asleep for a little while and now i'm at home, in front of my laptop blogging while he's sleeping at home. :p think it's time for me to sleep soon too.. had a long day but my heart doesn't feel tired.. just a bit painful coz i spent so much money. haha. just hope that the money that i've spent is well worth it.
to tom, thanks for obliging to my wish of going for walks after dinner or when we're free. it always makes me feel good. it's always quality time well spent when we do things like that. not that we talk a lot during these times but it's the time that we spent together. :) *hugz*
magz [12:45 AM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Friday, March 04, 2005
decided..
i've decided what i'm going to do after a whole day of dilemma. i'll take up the job if citibank wants me so that i can gain more exposure and experience. if i don't get the offer, then i'll transfer to be a finance and admin personnel at my current workplace. no more auditing for me. that's for sure. wanna thank everybody who have talked to me and made me come to this decision. special thanks go out to huiwen, adeline, jean, lin, mel, diana, ann, anne marie, jeremy, irene, fittor, and definitely, my boy tom who had to endure and bear with me losing my temper n control of myself this morning when i was so frustrated. thanx boy! :)
feel much much better after i've come to this decision. back to my normal self. feels so much better. it's like a huge burden has juz been lifted from my shoulders. feels good now.
rather happy after i made this decision. on the way home, i suggested to go for a walk with tom after dinner instead of the usual lazing around, watching tv or using comp and slacking. didn't know where to walk to so decided to walk to jean's place to chill out n catch up with her. took us quite long to get there coz we didn't know how to walk thro the factory and we ended up walking 1 bus stop further than our destination. so we had to walk all the way back to jean's place. haha.
felt very relaxed and calm while walking. we had small chats along the way though we talk thro email everyday from 9-6, during lunch and on the way home from work. haha. can understand y meng (edmund) calls me jerry, but hey, we're separable k? haha. anyway, chilling out with jean was nice. we juz sat there n chatted. gave my namecard to her coz i finally got my own namecard today!!! haha. what's the point of giving me now when i intend to leave? haiz... :p
nevertheless, i felt really happy coz it was quality time well spent though i missed the 1st half on survivor on tv. will check the website for details n the video clips so should still be ok. :) felt satisfied and contented with my walk to and from jean's place. ^_^ jean will definitely say it's coz i'm still so madly, deeply, crazily and fanatically in love right? haha. a little i guess. hehe.
have to set the record straight though. been hearing rumours that i'm getting married soon. whoever said that?? i keep hearing it these days!!! no.. i'm not getting married soon. haha. still too young and haven't saved up a single cent yet. the day will come but not now! haha. will announce it and notify everyone if i get married. ;p
all i want in life is to be happy. that's all that i've ever wanted. no matter what i work as or where i work at, my philosophy in life is to be happy. which is why i've never thought much about my future.. of what i wanna work as. i'm not happy with my current job and i'm not enjoying it which is why i wanna change. i just hope to learn more when i'm young and be happy wherever i work at. that's the most important thing to me. -_- i m happy now, not with work but with all other aspects of my life. to be happy at work will be even better. i'll work hard to get that~
magz [11:11 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
confused...
well, been thro my interview.. think i'm getting the job but my mind's in a whirl.. not sure what i should do..
the citibank job pays well. that's for sure. not sure if i'll get to enjoy the benefits coz i'm only a contract staff. contract for 1 year. conversion to perm staff will only happen if i work well n hard enough n if there's a vacancy. basically what i'll be doing is gonna b pretty admin stuff. not sure if i wanna do that. i mean, i studied 7 years of accounting.. is it what i really want?
my big boss's p.a. has told me that someone who once broke the contract of our company had to pay 6 months' worth of pay to the tyrant (big boss). not sure if i have to do that or not coz i told me own boss before that i wasn't happy here n that auditing is not suitable for me n he told me to try it out for 3 months first. my big boss's p.a. told me that since there's another vacancy for the post of finance and admin personnel, i can try it out since i don't really like auditing. but pay n benefits will be exactly the same so what's the point? n i'll be working directly under the tyrant which makes everything worse.
sighz.. what m i going to do?? honestly, if u ask me what is it that i wanna work as in the future, i have no idea. where does my interest lie? how about being a singer? that's where my interest lies.. i've never really thought about what i want to work as in the future. y make me think now? i've always hated to make this sort of decisions. i mean, i like admin work n i do like accounting stuff too. so what is it that i wanna do?? i don't know.. really don't.. n this feeling sucks. juz lemme be a singer n i'll be real happy. sighz...
this is so awful.. i hate this feeling.. feel so screwed. never liked this feeling, never will.. what am i going to do?? got job, also confused.. no job, also confused.. such a dilemma.. do i want to leave or do i want to stay? what job do i want? all these stupid questions..
wish i can juz drop dead tonite or tomorrow then i won't have to think anymore! screw it.. fuck life!
magz [8:51 AM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
after lunch syndrome..
juz had lunch n i'm suffering from the after lunch syndrome.. tired n sleepy. haha. ate too much during lunch but the feeling's good. :) not complaining~
today's wednesday n during these 3 days, 1 colleague was sacked, 2 new colleagues came in. hmmz.. think my big boss is a bit crazy.. keeps wanting more people in our department when the office is so freaking small.. he's got a screwed mind anyway. complained to the maintenance office that it's warm in the office n now, the maintenance office r getting their revenge - blasting the aircon n freezing everyone in the office. it's so cold here that it feels as if i'm living in a freezer. brr~~~~
watched 'white noise' last nite. well, let's not talk about the show yet. hehe. after being with my boy for so long, i still take the effort to dress up n look good when we go out. :p it's all worth it. think i'm seriously in love. hehe.
ok... about the show now.. wasn't that fantastic to me. neither was it that scary. did i enjoy the show? of coz i did coz i watched it with my boy. haha. the show was just ok to me so to people who might want to watch it, don't say i didn't tell u. hehe.
so, my interview's tomorrow. sure hope i can get it coz i don't feel like working here anymore. nothing's worth staying for here but i sure ain't keeping my hopes up too high in case i fall. haha.
i'm bored.. so bored.. argh~!~! i wanna go home n sleep!!!!!! *yawnz*
magz [2:03 PM]
*will dreams come true one day?*
