Thursday, May 29, 2008

Deserve better..
Frankly, I think I deserve better.. Sms-ed him if we were meeting over the weekend and his reply was "Can you don't ask me this sort of thing at this sort of time? I dunno what time I'll end work. U want to have ur own activity then go ahead." The very 1st sentence was enough to make me never ever sms or call him again. It was lunch time when I messaged him.. And all I asked was meet on Fri or Sat.

It sucks.. Sucks to the core. What does he take me as? Forget it. Seriously, forget it. I deserve so much more.. So much better. When I'm busy, I still reply him nicely and this is what I get. I don't understand.. In what way have I not been good to him? He said he was busy these 2 weeks. I haven't called or sms-ed him for days and I didn't even dare ask for a call or sms from him. I simply allowed him to call or sms if he wants to or have the time to. And yet, it was.. Never. Not a call or sms. What am I to him?

I keep asking myself this question the whole day. I cried in office.. Again. Irene was there for me when I cried. She kept telling me it's not worth it. It's the 2nd time he made me cry in office and Irene was there both times. She cheered me up by showing me the latest video clip of her baby boy and he was sooo funny and cute that I was laughing again. But deep inside, the damage has been done. When I had finished my work, I started thinking about it again.. I dunno what to do. This time, I'm really lost and confused..

Was able to concentrate on work which sometimes, I amaze myself. In the midst of the sadness, tears and heartache, I didn't make any mistakes at work. I can't help but be proud of myself in that sense. Career has always been important to me. Need to feed myself with a job..

Found out that the job opportunity is to support Hong Kong business but based in Singapore. A bit disappointed and the desk (job scope) is not something that I'm familiar with. The people there aren't that nice either. Still considering about this.. Citi advertisement on TV now. Haha. The coincidences in life..

Somebody came to look at the empty room earlier and liked it. I'm having a new tenant soon. ^.^

Chris Yeo asked why I keep listening to Bleeding Love.. I am bleeding.. I'm tired.. Tired from the crying. It's time to move on for me.. Just like it is for Shuang. We are strong girls. We will be able to get over it. :)

magz [8:58 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Eerie!!!!
Seriously, sometimes I wonder how such creepy and weird things can happen to me or am I just having some sort of bad luck? This morning, I burnt my finger before going to work. At work, I signed in to my pc and applications when suddenly Internet Explorer refused to load saying there's some error. Logged a ticket for the technology guy to help me with it and while waiting for the guy to call, I rebooted my comp.

After the comp restarted, I clicked on Outlook and it wasn't working as well (with the same error message) so I got the guy to help me with it. He clicked on Explorer and it worked! Told him to try Outlook and it worked too!! He must be thinking that I'm dumb.. Sighz...

Afternoon, I was bored and my drawer was a mess so I packed it and put the papers properly. Once again, finger was cut by the stapler bullet and bled like crazy. Sighz...

Just when I thought everything would be ok, I went to the ladies. Washed my hands and waved at the sensor to get the hand tissue to wipe dry. Paper came out, I tore it and the paper started coming out a lot!!! Couldn't stop it so I waited for it to stop. Finally stopped after a lot came out so I tore it else it would be all over the floor. The minute I tore it, more paper came out!!! It was like a curse!! 1 of the Indian woman whom I don't like coz she's very noisy was in the toilet as well and kept staring at me. In my heart, I was thinking "I didn't do anything!!"... Finally the machine stopped and I didn't dare tear it with the cutter so I tore it further down.

Walked out of toilet with a lot of paper in my hand when Carissa mummy was going in to the toilet. Asked me what happened and laughed at me. Told her to try the machine and she did! But.. The machine was perfectly normal!!!! Oh my god!!! Am I being cursed or something??? Brought the paper to Agnes's table to fold and give her as she uses those paper to clean her table with daily. Agnes, Rachel and Carissa mummy laughed at me throughout!! I admit.. It was creepy and eerie but kinda funny and weird in a way. It's really weird that such things are happening to me!!! Scary too!!!

If everyday is like that, will I be scared out of my life? Hopefully tomorrow will be a more normal day. Thank God my work wasn't affected in any way. Won't want to make mistakes at work!

Boss sent a job opportunity today. Middle office desk assistant based in HK. I'm really tempted to try... Still hesitating about it.. Will sleep on it and decide tomorrow morning. Can't make up my mind now. Dunno what to do...

K.. Gonna wait for laundry to be done then head for my bed. Just changed bedsheets.. Think I will sleep soundly and well tonite. Been sleeping sooo soundly these days. My room and bed are loving me once again. Hehe.

magz [10:23 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Candele
Rushed thro work to go on leave in the afternoon. Had lunch at Canele with Matt and as always, the company was fantastic! Love his company everytime! He accompanied me the whole day and drove me around to run all my errands which was very very sweet of him. :)

Met Heng Wee for a coffee for a short while to have a chat. He said I looked like I have BGR problems.. Is it that obvious? I wonder..

Amazingly, he called me just now. But it was coz his hp batt went flat and he was wondering if I called him. Told him I didn't and asked if he was home yet, if he had eaten and if he was still sick. He said he was home, ate in JB before coming back to Singapore and that he was still coughing though he's better now. Then he said he didn't feel like talking anymore so we hung up. The kind of conversations that we have sometimes make me can't help but wonder what sort of relationship we have.

But today, I was actually not up set with the kind of conversation that we had. The normal me would be upset already.. But today, I wasn't.. I'm no longer that affected by it. When he called me, the 1st thought was... How amazing that he will call. So unbelievable! Haha. Can't imagine myself thinking like that. Guess I'm starting to change and grow.. Good or bad, I dunno.. But at least I know I won't be that upset now. :p

K.. I'm tired.. Shall go sleep. Nitez!

magz [11:04 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Monday, May 26, 2008

Blessed
Work was as usual. Received my award at the dialogue session today but it was crappy coz they didn't present us with the letter and they left out a few of our names at the announcement, including mine! WTF!!!! Sighz... Such a total disappointment.

Decided to give myself a half day break tomorrow. I need some time to think and enjoy myself. Maybe I'm being over-sensitive in this relationship. I dunno, no longer know and no longer wanna know. I shall just live my own life and see what goes on from there. Officially, we are still together but.. How many couples don't sms or call each other often? I think.. It's only gonna be an sms a day for us and that's it. Or maybe, not a single call or sms. I dunno..

I know everybody is concerned about me and has been wanting to meet me and accompany me. I appreciate all the thoughts, care and concern. I feel your love. It makes me very touched. Thank you all!!! You know who you are. All of the care and concern will be deeply cherished and treasured by me!! I'm glad that no matter what happens, I still have the love of those who love me. I feel blessed.

magz [9:47 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

magz [10:38 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Happy Times are Shortlived..
Tummyache now... Typing this in toilet with a numb left leg, TV on which is showing news about the latest Sichuan after quake news.. :(

Woke up at 8.30am to go for gram's bday brunch. Ate a lot coz cousins kept making me eat. I'm fat!!! And I'm trying to lose weight!!! Sighz.. Sooo hard...

Went shopping after that. Didn't buy anything today except for a new top from Gap to change out of the one I was wearing coz I dirtied it while eating earlier. The top costs only $15.75 after all the discounts and I bought it from the kids section of Gap. Yes, you are reading correctly. Kids section. Their clothes are simply tooooo big for me.. Kids section XXL fit nicely. Haha.

Had a caramel macchiato at Starbucks after I had changed with Peg and Ann. Finally left Orchard at 5.30pm. Was sooo tired. Lack sleep. And my mood was really down. I didn't call or sms him the whole day and he totally didn't call or sms me either. Til 7.30pm when I simply couldn't take it anymore. Had no appetite for dinner at Aunt Mic's place. Everybody was concerned. Didn't know how to answer my family whenever they asked me about me. I just let the topic go.. Ate a bit, finished up and sms-ed him. He replied. That's it.

Honestly, what am I to him? I feel like I'm being taken for granted. He used to say that now he's looking for a long term relationship, someone he's comfortable with and can settle down with. He's looking for a companion. I feel like I'm a companion when he needs one but when he doesn't, I'm being thrown 1 side. I'm sooo dispensable and not needed in his life. Then why am I still hanging on? I keep asking myself that question and I found no answer.

Was he there for me when I was sick? No. He even chided me for controlling my bladder causing my own infection. He didn't look for me at all when I was on mc. He even went to cut hair with his friend and the next day, to JB with his friend. Did he care when I injured my leg and they were swollen? No. He didn't even take a look at me but to say that I'm always so careless and clumsy yet I don't learn my lesson. Seriously, what kind of relationship am I in? I no longer know.. It has all seemed to change after the 1st 2 months of happiness. It's a bit too fast ain't it?

I know all along that he's an MCP and he's egoistical. But I am, after all, a girl. I need some care and concern. I haven't been getting any. I've been crying since a month ago coz I wasn't happy. He didn't even know. I've long been getting tired of not being cherished. But somehow, I'm still hanging in there and trying to be happy and easily satisfied when he does make me happy. Why am I torturing myself? I really dunno...

I am learning to live my life without him again. I will not take the initiative to care for him anymore. I'm tired of it. The better I treat him, the more he takes me for granted. It's time to be nonchalent and leave it to him. It's either make or break. I am not gonna make myself suffer again. I have my own life to lead, with or without him. And I know I can do it and do it well too. Life is too short to be overwhelmed by sadness. I will not be consumed by it. I will overcome it.

I'm thankful and grateful for great friends who care. Thanx to Steffy, Adrian and Carissa mummy. Adrian and Carissa mummy sms-ed me after reading my blog to cheer me on and to give me strength that I need. I know I am blessed with great friends which is why, even if I am to be single once again, I know I have the support that I will need. Plus my sis, whom I keep venting my bad mood on, yet keep msg-ing me sweet stuff to cheer me up and trying to keep me company though I keep rejecting her. I do appreciate it... Though I haven't been showing it.

Need to get myself together again. I will be the me that I know again. No mountain is too high to climb, no road to tough to go ahead. I will be strong.

magz [10:00 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Instinct's last day...
Another quick post coz I'm very tired now.

5am: Bedtime..

10.30am: Alarm rang.

11am: Dragged my ass out of bed and washed up.

11.20am: Walked to Toa Payoh Central to buy stuff for JZ, took cab to his place, left the things at his doorstep, took the same cab home.

12.30pm: Home sweet home.

1pm: Slept.

4pm: Woke up for lunch bought over by Matt who was sooooo sweet to buy me food!

5.45pm: Met Bee in Orchard (I was 45 mins late). Shopped - I need retail therapy coz I'm not happy. Spent $300+ again!! Shucks!! I'm overspending big time. But I bought lotsa stuff and I'm happy with my purchases. Told Bee I'll post 2 of the things which I bought in this blog but I haven't taken the pics of them yet so that will have to wait when I'm less tired.

9.45pm: Felix picked Bee and I up from Taka for dinner. On the way to Geylang for dinner, I cried in the car coz I felt unappreciated. Bee said I was stupid to "invest" so much in this relationship that's why I'm getting hurt now. I think I'm dumb too but I also dunno why I'm sooo dumb this time round. I feel very stupid. The best part about close friends is that they can make u cry yet make u laugh once again. Yes, I felt much better after that. I love these 2 dear friends of mine! Won't know what to do if it weren't for them! Thanx Bee & Felix!

11pm: Dinner at Geylang. Matt from Instinct called. Told me it's the last day of business there today. Rental was too expensive to carry on. The owner wanted to increase the rental by 1.5 times which was ridiculous! Dave's gonna look for another place to open another pub. Will see how things go.

12pm: Reached Instinct. Made a deal with Felix & Bee that we'll leave at around 12.30am.

12.45am: We left Instinct! Finished 2 mugs of beer, something which I don't drink often.

1.25am: Home sweet home.

1.50am: Now. I need to sleep coz I need to wake up early tomorrow to celebrate gram's bday. Having brunch at Taka Imperial Treasure Restaurant. Gotta wake up at 8.30am. Think I'll come home for nap after that.

For now, nitez all!

magz [1:38 AM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Thank God for Friends!
Gonna type this real fast coz my eyes can barely open and I'm really tired...

Work was ok. Received news that I'm receiving an award on Monday during CCO dialogue which made me have to attend. Bala, my ex-boss, nominated me. My dept now, Kelvin, Jerome & Alan are getting the same award and they were nominated by my boss now. Carissa mummy is also getting the award! YAY!!!!

Dinner with Ed gor, Chuan, Bee, Yaya & Lynn. Farewell dinner for Ed gor. I'm sad but can't show it. I'll send him off next Sat though I think I might cry. Sighz.. I'm made of water.. I'll miss my gor soooooo much!! When he's around, everything goes smoothly and when I have any problems be it at work or personal, I know I can turn to him for help. Now.. It's gonna be so difficult. :(((((

DF after dinner. Been 3 months since I was there. Yutaki still looks as good as ever, sings as well as ever. Boy, I miss that place and I realise that everytime someone ask me to go there, it happens that I'm at a low point in my life. Wonder why.. Finished 2 bottles of Chivas. :p The songs they were singing and playing tonite were songs that they play whenever I'm down. So coincidental!! I seriously seriously seriously love and miss that place loads!!!!!!!!!!

Leo picked me up after DF for a chat. Headed to Labrador Park after buying a drink from the petrol kiosk. 1st time I've ever been there and I suggested the place coz seems like my SIM guy friends like to go there a lot. We talked about work, relationship issues and everything else. My voice was so different coz of the shouting at DF that Leo kept saying I don't sound like me at all. Ooooppppssss....

Been some time since someone opened the car door for me. Leo did. He even sent me upstairs. He's a nice guy.. That I know. Not just coz of his actions or what he did but coz I've known him for soooo long and we used to be quite close friends. Oh, and 1st time I sat in his Type R. COOL!!!!!!

Thank God for friends who care.. Bee, Irene, Felix, Shuang, Meng, Ed gor, Chris mama & Agnes. Won't know what will become of me if I were to face today alone. Will be free this whole weekend. Must find some activities and programmes for myself!!

K.. Need to sleep already.. My eyes are closing as I'm typing. Nitez world!

magz [4:34 AM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Everything in a blur..
Worked hard in office today. Dunno how I managed to get past the day when everything was kind of a blur to me. Dunno how I managed to do my work without any mistakes. Sometimes, I amaze myself.

I lost the weight that I've gained recently by not eating dinner for the last 3 days. Tonite's dinner is... Chicken in a Biscuit!! Taste sooo good!! Yummy!!

Forgot to give JZ his morning call today. 1st time that it totally slipped my mind til he woke up and sms-ed me. He called me during lunch time and his voice has already changed. He's finally fallen sick.. He said he would be buying ling yang (Chinese herbal tea) to drink but when I sms-ed him just now if he bought, he didn't reply. Stupid me only remembered about it when I reached Bedok bus stop.. That I could have bought for him and delivered to his place on my way home. Sighz... Knowing him, he would feel that I'm not concerned.. :(

Maybe I think too much.. Shall not dwell on this.. I shall go take my bath...

magz [9:39 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Silly Me..
Spent the whole morning helping Gopi to resolve Futures issues. Finally managed to resolve it and I'm glad to be the one who solved it. At least it proved my understanding. While Kelvin, Ed gor and I were trying to resolve the issue, Gopi was sitting there staring blankly at his computer. Made me kinda pissed. At least he said thanks.. That made me feel better but somehow, I wonder when he'll ever learn to resolve the issues on his own instead of always waiting for us to help him while he does nothing. Sighz...



Worked hard in office. Nothing much to say there.



Got disturbed by a guy while walking back to office after lunch and another time when I was walking home. Totally ignored those creeps.



Did something silly today. I missed my bus stop on the way home by 2 bus stops. The 2nd stop was really far away and I ended in front of Raffles Institution which was in Bishan, in front of the temple where Gramp, Dad & Mum were.. I walked home from there.



I realise that everytime I'm unhappy, I walk a lot. I walked home in Shanghai without knowing my way 1 day coz I was unhappy. I walked up the stairs last nite.Today, I walked 2.5 bus stops home. Simply couldn't bring my mood up. Even teared a bit while walking home. So many things running thro my mind. I'm silly.. I know...



I wanted to tell someone so much about my silly-ness but I promised not to disturb him today. He said he doesn't feel like talking.. I didn't know who to turn to.. I didn't know who I could share my stupidity with.



I have switched off my mobile. I don't see the point of keeping it on anymore.. Maybe except to use it as an alarm to wake me up.



Was listening to Breathe Easy by Blue on the way home. Lyrics below.. I like it..



Cruel to the eye

I see the way he makes you smile

Cruel to the eye

Watching him hold what used to be mine



Why did I lie?

What did I walk away to find

Ooohhh - why.....oooh - why....



Chorus

I.........can't breathe easy

Can't sleep at night

Till you're by my side

No I............can't breathe easy

I can't dream yet another dream

Without you lying next to me

There's no air



Curse me inside

For every word that caused you to cry

Curse me inside



I won't forget, no i won't baby,

I don't know why (don't know why)

I left the one I was looking to find



Ooh - why....ooooh, why - whyyy....



Why



Chorus

I.........can't breathe easy

Can't sleep at night

Till you're by my side

No I............can't breathe easy

I can't dream yet another dream

Without you lying next to me

There's no air



No I............can't breathe easy

I can't dream yet another dream

Without you lying next to me

There's no air



Out of my mind

Nothing makes sense anymore

I want you back in my life

That's all I'm breathing for



Ooooooohhhhh - tell me why



Oh won't you tell me why



I can't dream yet another dream

Without you lying next to me

There's no air



No, no, no



Chorus

I.........can't breathe easy

Can't sleep at night

Till you're by my side

No I............can't breathe easy

I can't dream yet another dream

Without you lying next to me

There's no air



There's no air

magz [9:19 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Blah Blah
Busy day at work. Didn't eat dinner except for some potato chips. DVD keeps skipping. Pissing me off.

Nothing much to blog about actually. I'm blabbing. Not very happy anyway. Dunno why I'm feeling down also. Heard a very nice phrase recently but can't remember. I'm getting old.

Haven't been working on my job search. Starting to slack again. Shucks! I can't be like that!!! Sighz..

Too many things on my mind. I shall go work on my stuff. This is a nonsense post. My goodness! I'm crap!

magz [9:54 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Monday, May 19, 2008

Genting (16-19 May 2008)
Friday (16 May 2008)
Office til 8+pm before JZ picked me up from office. Rushed to Parkway Parade to change money for the Genting trip then rushed back to his place. His bro-in-law n sis drove us to Army Market to have our dinner at 10pm and we ate quickly. Rushed to Golden Mile Complex to take the coach.

The coach was simply awesome!!!!!! 1st class coach!!! It was like I was in an airplane with 1st class service including a cabin crew. Haha. Pics are in my sis's camera. Will upload when I have it. It's realllll cool!!! I'll only take the 1st class coach to Malaysia from now on. It's way fantastic!

Slept thro most of the ride except for toilet breaks. Hehe. It was just too comfy for me to resist not to sleep. Hehe. Sis, MZ & JZ stayed awake thro'out the whole journey! So amazing!

Got off the coach and it was soooo cold! Guess it was due to the time that we reached.. 5am in the morning with no hotel room!! Had to wait all the way til 12+pm before we had a room. Was sooo tired and sleepy that I slept at Marry Brown's fastfood joint for a while. Haha.

Saturday (17 May 2008)
Took the room keys, went up, washed up and had lunch at Ah Yat restaurant. Food was not too bad. Ate a lot!!!!!!! I'm fat! Haha.

Played pool with MZ and JZ til Peg's friend reached. Peg & MZ met up with the friend while JZ & I continued with pool. Had fun! Ended the game at about 5+pm, bought a fruit juice, walked around and bought a Triangel key chain!!! I wanted it so I made him buy for me. In case you dunno what a Triangel is or how it came about.. Here's the story. The toy itself can look pretty scary but the keychain looks cute! :) Found out about it from a HK TV drama. I'm glad I found out what it is.

Triangel symbolizes as the Guardian Angel of Love. Story of this doll...The Triangel originated from a famous Italian allusion. In the times of ancient Rome, there was a kindhearted lady falling in love with a young man who was witched to be indifferent to the lady. The lady was so depressed and sit in front of the window crying day and night. Finally, her love had touched the Gods. They sent the Triangel to the lady which could make the witch appear in front of the young man. The young man realized that his true love was the lady and they had fallen in love again!

Back to the room to sleep at long last! Had a little chat with JZ after my shower and I'm glad for the chat. What we chatted about will not be disclosed but I'm really happy to have it. Nothing bad. Slept all the way til 10+pm, woke up and had dinner with Peg, MZ & JZ. JZ and I ate 1st coz Peg & MZ took so long to come down. Haha. Had Baskin Robbins ice cream then we headed to the casino. Peg went back to the room after a while. I stayed with the guys then went back to the room to sleep at 2.40am. He came back at 5+am.

Sunday (18 May 2008)
Woke up at 1pm. Wanted to have international buffet for lunch but was too late coz we reached the restaurant at 2pm and their lunch ends at 2.30pm. Ate wanton noodles instead and JZ bought donut and choc danish. Had some of the donut. Not bad!

Went bowling and the game was not bad. Played pool with sis while the guys played snooker. Went for buffet dinner at 7pm and ate til 9pm! Hahaha. We're such gluttons! Went to the arcade to shoot basketballs and baseballs! Had so much fun!!! I felt like a kid once again!!! Laughed and played soooo much!! Was sooo happy! Sis & I even took photo stickers!! Very nice!!! Shall get it scanned. :p

Wanted more Baskin Robbins ice cream but the staff's attitude was sooo lousy that I walked off. ARGH! Bought some egg thingy that tasted not bad and blackberry soda instead. Brought sis to the shop where I bought the Triangel keychain and bought a pig keychain with my birthdate. :D

Back to the room where he bathed and I simply lazed on the bed. By the time we headed to the casino, it was 12.40am. Watched the guys play til 2.30am and I went back to the room, showered and slept at 3+am. While at the casino, there were 2 men who betted at least $5,000 per round!! And I saw them changing money a few times.. $5,000 each time. Super rich!!! JZ came back at about 5+am again I think and heard from MZ that the 2 guys won at least $20,000 that nite. Woah!

Monday (19 May 2008)
Woke up at 10am, packed and left room at 11.10am. Had bak kut teh for lunch and was quite rush coz we had to be at the bus area by 11.45am. Boarded the coach (deluxe coach this time.. not as good as 1st class) and reached Singapore at 7.45pm. Took a cab home with JZ and reached at 8pm while he proceeded on his way home.

That's the end of my Genting trip.. Wonder when my next trip will be. Seems like if we go HK, we won't go Korea. I dunno which one I want more. Maybe Korea. I'll go HK on my own I guess. Haven't travelled on my own for a year now. Dan's there so I can bunk in or find some way or other. Will be able to survive. That's where my grandma was from anyway. Hehe. I'm a true Cantonese. :p

He paid for everything on this trip, from the coach ride to the hotel room to all my expenses. I think I spent less than MYR50 overall if I'm not wrong. Feel bad that he has to pay for everything.. But he simply paid for all and didn't allow me to pay him back.

K.. Shall go unpack, shower and sleep soon. Stupid DVD keeps hanging. Not sure why. Irritating.

magz [9:11 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Career Plan?
Did alignment for 30 confos today. Seriously, it's a waste of time but only 2 new deals today so I guess it made me occupied for the whole afternoon. Tomorrow's my career plan talk with my boss. Gut feeling is that I'll be made floater once the new guy comes in on 2 June and picks up options. Well, I'll accept whatever's thrown at me now since my only intention is to leave anyway.

Realise that my bag can't fit in what I wanna bring for Genting trip. Am I bringing too much? Can't even remember which bag I used the last time I was there. Was it the same bag? Then how come it seems so full now?? Sighz.. Dunno what to do...

Lots of sale going on but I didn't go for any. Been spending a lot recently. Need to cut down on my shopping. Had dinner at Sakae Novena followed by Andersen's ice cream, Fruit of the Forest flavour. It's realllll nice!! Love it!!

Hope to be able to meet Shuang when I'm in Genting! Haven't seen her for ages!!! *Hugz*

magz [11:46 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Hate Discussions!
Another headhunter called today. Thanx to Felix for introducing! Gave Irene's contact to the headhunter as well. Hopefully both of us get a job soon. Hehehe.

Supposed to have a career path discussion on Fri. Not looking forward to it coz normally, what the management tells me is useless and I don't like what I hear most of the time. Hahaha. Whatever.. Shall just answer when needed and that's it. Not gonna say much during the discussion. Just get it over and done with.

Surfed the net in office today coz no new deals again. Found some job openings that looked interesting but didn't really read thro them. Shall do it tomorrow if I have time.

Not meeting JZ til Fri when we go Genting til Mon. Haven't been spending much time together lately. Will be good to get away. Do miss those days when we would spend more time with each other.

Thought I had more to say in the afternoon when I couldn't blog. Shucks.. Now everything has slipped from my mind. Sighz.. Shall go sleep soon. Nitez!

magz [11:28 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I Cooked!!
Saw the doc in the morning for my checkup and he gave me the bill to a clean slate of health once again!! So happy! We chatted like old friends and joked and laughed. :p He explained the causes of UTI to me and even explained the results of the test to me, bit by bit. Showed him the injured part of both legs and before I left his room, he said,"Try not to go around knocking into things too much ya?". Haha. Cute right my doc?? He looks good and and is nice too!!! Haha. We were laughing when I came out of his room and even said Bye to each other. :) Becoming pal-ly with each other.

No new deals today so was quite free to clear up my backlog of emails and stuff. Tried doing the Nostro charges project but with no access to Corona, it was soooo tough and I had to keep disturbing Rachel to sign in for me and she was soo busy. Got pissed in the end and sent a mail to everyone saying I can't do it coz I've got no access. Haha. Gonna see what the big bosses say.

Left office at 6.30pm and reached home at 7pm coz I had a lift home. It's been a long time since I reached home when I can still see the sun. :p Been 1.5 years since I last cooked and I actually cooked spaghetti for dinner. It's quite fun and interesting to cook once in a while. Not too often though coz all the preparation, cooking and washing is too much of a hassle to me. Hahaha.

Just realised that I didn't pay any of my bills last month!!! What did I do??? My goodness!! I'm gonna go pay my bills now. :p

Oh ya, before I do that, to my dearest Von babe, I'm not sure if what you wrote in your blog is song lyrics or is it really over. No matter what, there's always us gals to support u and be with u. *hugz* love ya babe!!

magz [9:54 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Monday, May 12, 2008

Horrible Accident!
Saturday (10 May 2008) Continued
Collected crabs from Ang Mo Kio where the queue was already very very long. Headed back to JZ's elder sis's place and helped his nieces with the Mother's Day celebrations decor. Soon, almost everybody was back and dinner started. Ate quite a lot and drank a lot of the soup coz it tasted like what my family used to make. I like it!!

Went back to his place with 1 of his nephews, Sherman. He's a very cute boy! They played PS3 while I napped. Haha. Headed back to his elder sis's place for cake. He flipped the papers and decided to watch movie. Instantly went online to book some more..

Headed to The Cathay to watch "Speed Racer". Quite a nice show.. When I saw the trailer, I thought it was a crap show but it was quite interesting and funny. :) Headed home after that, showered and both of us fell asleep almost immediately.

Sunday (11 May 2008)
Woke up and JZ wasn't home. Showered and he came back while I was bathing. Went out for lunch and waited half an hour for the chai tau kway. Worth the wait coz it was really nice. :p

Came home, tidied my forever messy room and it was 5.30pm already. Headed to Aunt Mic's place for Mother's Day dinner. Ate a lot!!!!!! My tummy grew twice the size it was with the amount I ate and my whole family teased me about it. :( Sobz!!!

Went out to watch football after that at Harry's. Was nice and fun!

Home and slept at 1am.

Monday (12 May 2008)
Work was normal. So so. I still work as per usual. Whacked my leg against the metal drawer and both legs are now swollen coz I hit the bones of both legs. Scratched off the skin as well. It hurts big time!

Bought dinner from the pasar malam at my place. Bought a lot!! Went crazy! Bought cup corn, cheese tofu, crab claw, chicken nuggets, muah chee, tutu kueh, shark's fin soup, bird's nest drink, breaded scallops, candy floss, tako pachi. Soooo much right?? I must be crazy!!! Hahaha. But I enjoyed it. Still left with the muah chee and candy floss that I'm gonna attack soon.

Forwarded work home to do. Shall go hang my laundry and do a bit before I sleep. The crippled girl is busy busy busy. Haha.

magz [11:05 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Eat Eat Eat!
Friday (09 May 2008)
Today is the day that I stepped foot into Citi for the 1st time to start work 3 years ago. 3 years later, I'm on medical leave on this day coz I think I deserve a break and I do not want to go to office. Plus, I'm still in pain so.. Haha.

Woke up at 10+am, showered and went out for wanton mee. Then went to the sinseh with my friend before meeting Leo at Starbucks Liat Towers. Yes, I know I despise people who take MC to go out but I'm really sick but not so sick til I must stay home kind. Haha. Whatever. This is the kind of attitude I hold towards working in this office now anyway. I seriously no longer give a damn. Hahaha.

Supposed to meet Leo at 3.15pm at Starbucks but as always, my dear friend was late.. For almost an hour this time! Haha. We chatted from 4pm to 8pm!! His friend, Erik, came along and he joined in. Then more and more of his friends ocame along. Haha. Esther came to pass him his bday pressie and it felt weird. I think she likes him. Oh oh.. Juicy!! Not my problem anyway but poor Leo was being teased by me!! Hahaha.

Met Bee and Joey for dinner but I spent $130 on perfume and another $30 on clothes again! Shucks!! I'm a spendthrift!! Damn! Hahaha. Had dinner at Heeren NYDC and we chatted til 12 midnight! Another 4 hours of chatting!! COOL!! We caught up on everything in office and our lives and basically, Joey and I just kept bitching about work the whole time. Hahaha.

Home at 1am where I showered and slept. But was bad.. I was awake most of the time.. Sighz..

Saturday (10 May 2008)
Woke up with a start when I heard a knock on my room door. Opened it for my sis and MZ who came over coz sis needed a dress/skirt for her D&D tonite. Thought I was late for meeting JZ so quickly called him. Luckily he had just woken up as well and was taking his shower. Agreed to meet for lunch at Alexandra market together with sis and MZ.

Had claypot laksa that is famous there. I didn't take the gravy coz I normally have diarrhoea after taking laksa but somehow, I think it still upsets my tummy though I didn't take the gravy. Shucks!

Was talking to JZ about the lor mee that's really nice which he bought for me last week. Sis was interested and we went for 2nd round of lunch at Bukit Purmei. Haha. Sis shared a bowl with MZ whilst JZ had a bowl to himself. I was too full to eat.. Plus I put on weight over the last few weeks so I need to cut down. Haha.

Came back to his place after lunch where he's now gone to pick his sisters up from East Coast area where they are doing spa - free treat by their daughters. So nice!!! I haven't gone for a massage or spa for a very long time now. Sighz..

We'll be going to buy crabs later as his family is celebrating Mother's Day today. He's already bought roasted pork and roasted pig. Waiting for him to come back and pick me up now. :) Shall go to the toilet and watch my HK drama serial or maybe nap a while. Hehe.

magz [4:21 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Finally MC!
On MC in afternoon today and tomorrow. Am I glad to take it this time round! Don't have to go training tomorrow and for the department dinner too! Hahaha. I seriously don't give a damn now.

Meeting Leo for coffee tomorrow afternoon. Kinda surprising that he msn-ed me just now to meet up. Even wanted to come over my place now but told him tomorrow would be better. :) I haven't seen hom since we graduated and haven't really chatted and caught up as well. I'm happy that we're meeting up! Yeah, I can still go out though I'm not feeling well.

So what am I suffering from? Don't laugh at me or tease me about this. I'm quite shy to write this out actually. I'm suffering from urinary tract infection. Ok, pls don't come asking me how I got it or anything about this. Don't even remind me pls. I keep having the urge to go toilet the whole day. And it hurts when I go toilet. Sighz... Bad...

Had fever as well and very bad body ache. Head feels heavy and tight. Sickening! Hopefully will be ok by tomorrow to meet Leo.

To my dearest Von and Shuang, stay strong my dearest girls! Call or lemme know if you ever need me around for company or listening ear. *Hugz*

K.. Gonna watch American Idols now. Think I need to go buy Vicks Vapodrops sweets at petrol kiosk later. Left both packets in office. Stupid me. Now my nose is blocked. ARGH!

Sick.. Once again.. Why is every year May such a difficult month to pass? 1st yr in Citi, I was hospitalised in June/July. Then last year May I had HFMD. This year May, I get infection. I'm starting to have phobia of May.. Sighz...

Speaking of which, tomorrow is my 3 years with Citi. And it's been almost a year since something else happened.. Shall not say what it is..

magz [9:25 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Ferrero Rocher!

magz [10:04 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Determined

magz [10:19 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Monday, May 05, 2008

A Beautiful Nite..
Another nite of insomnia. It's happening every Sunday and it's so ridiculous that it's making me so sick and tired. Sighz.. Why can't I sleep on Sundays? What crap is this?

Woke up at 5.30am to shower, prepare and went to work after having chwee kueh for breakfast. Not forgetting my cup of coffee. :p Reached office at 8am and it was busy busy busy til lunch at 1pm. Finished lunch by 1.20pm and it was back to office to work again. From then on, I took no notice of time and simply worked all the way til 7.20pm.

What was a very busy, tiring and hectic day ended beautifully with good company for dinner and lotsa laughter. I enjoyed myself tonite! It was the best way to end the day!

Gonna bathe and try to sleep early tonite. Hope I manage to fall asleep tonite. :)

magz [9:51 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Prawn Noodles Queen!
Friday (02 May 2008)
9am - Work but printer server down. Logged ticket as all depts were affected.

10am - Printer up. Work was crazy coz 2 days worth of work. What sucked was the many issues and nobody was replying to mails.

12pm - Lunch with work half done. Couldn't care less. Needed food. Ran errands after that and ordered flowers delivery for both Aunt Mic and Aunt Marg to be delivered on Sun.

2pm - Moment I stepped into office, I saw Bala who told me to join a meeting. No choice. Had to go with work still half done.

3pm - Finally meeting ended. 3 hours more to go before movie screening with customers. Bad feeling..

6pm - Going mad with the new deals and everything else. 4 new deals not done. Mel helped with 3 and I did 1 but had errors. Will continue on Monday. Hate Gopi coz he left without helping at all and he did only Futures month end and that was it. True blue Idiot!

7pm - The Cathay for movie with customers. JZ picked Irene and I up. Socialised with the dealers and finally got to know how most of them look but I doubt I'll be able to remember. Hahaha.

10pm - Movie ended. While on the way to toilet and out, I 1st met Dylan whom I haven't seen in ages! Then I saw Zubair while queueing up to use the toilet (the queue was soooo long that I can meet people!!!). After using the toilet, I bumped into Eric (ex-colleague who was doing the same thing as me now). Haha. Such coincidences!! Went for dinner with JZ. Prawn noodles at MacPherson.

11pm - JZ's office to help Ben with his work.

2.30am - Finally back at JZ's place. Tired and sleepy since 10pm but managed to survive through the whole time coz I was busy with things to do. Showered and slept almost immediately while he was still bathing.

Saturday (03 May 2008)
Woke up at 10.45am. Amazingly early. Showered, watched a bit of TV and JZ came back from delivering work related things to customers. Picked sis and bro in law up and we headed for JB together. Traffic jam for more than an hour this time. Sucks!

Went to our usual shopping centre for DVDS, snacks, etc. Shopped the longest this time round. Haha. Saw a pig soft toy beanie bag that I like and he wanted to buy but we both wanted the bigger version. He told the shop lady to order for us and that he will be back next week to buy it. Hope I get it!! Love pigs!!!

Dinner at the zhi cha place which I like. Had butter crayfish, hot plate cod fish, stir fried baby kailan and bak kut teh. Oh, with very huge cups of fruit juices too!! Delicious!! Pumped petrol and came back to Singapore.

Sent sis and bro in law home then headed back to his place. His 2nd sis's family and 2nd bro's family were there to watch Man U match. After the match, I went to his room to watch my DVDs which we just bought. Watched "Unrest", showered then watched "The Orphanage". Both horror shows which I seldom will watch. Dunno what got over me to buy and watch. He slept while I was watching Orphanage.

Listened to my Ipod and fell asleep eventually. Think it was 3am by then...

Sunday (04 May 2008)
Woke up at 1pm. Showered and while dressing up, he came home. Bought lor mee for lunch and it was much nicer than the one he bought the other time. Dropped me off at Suntec after lunch. Saw MZ while I was there. Had my Ben & Jerry's followed by my Caramel Ice Blended from Coffee Bean.

Walked around, bought a book and went to buy clothes. Spent $371 buying 3 dresses, a pair of pants and a top!! Love everything that I bought!!! But think when the bill comes, I'm gonna cry coz I think I spent close to $1k by now. Oh oh...

Dinner at Bishan - Prawn noodles.. AGAIN! 4th time this week. Cholestrol rocket high I think. Haha. Who cares? Haha. Bumped into Winston shifu!! :p Bumping into lotsa people recently. :) Bought chocs and that cost me $120!!! I'm sure spending heaps manz... Bad... :((((

Watching some funny guy singing Hokkien songs on the Ch 8 Charity Show now. Hahaha. Weird weird feeling. Haha. K... Shall go shower and watch "Awake"! Another horror movie!!! Hahaha. Then I'm gonna sleep. Shall go office early tomorrow.. Maybe reach at 7+ 8am? I must be mad..

magz [8:10 PM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Friday, May 02, 2008

Superheroes Movie
Home from watching "Superheroes Movie" with JZ. The show was cut off at the ending portion and jumped from 1 scene to another, causing it not to be linked. Weird.. But was kinda funny and crappy. :)

Woke up at 8.30am to visit gram and boy, was I tired! Stayed up til 5am to watch Chelsea vs Liverpool! Haven't visited gram in a long time and am I glad to visit her! I miss her!!!! My beloved gram who looked after me since I was born! I miss the good old granny who will scold me, nag at me and yet, spoil me! Sobz!!

Came home and continued sleeping immediately. The moment my head touched the pillow, I was knocked out. Haha. Woke up at 1+pm to have lunch then continued to laze in bed for 2 hours! Yeah.. That's how tired and lazy I was...

Showered at 4pm and left house at 5pm for coffee at TCC. Met JZ at 6.30pm at Suntec but while waiting for him, I saw my colleague, Kelvin with his baby Kayden. Kayden's sooooo cute!!!! Reminded me of Irene's baby boy, Xavier. Also chubby chubby and looked kinda alike. Carried Kayden for a while and he's quite heavy! 9kg @ 5 months old.. Woah!! But he's toooo cute for me to resist!!! Love babies!!!!!!! But don't ask me to give birth.. Can't imagine myself being pregnant nor to be a mum. Hahaha.

Walked around Suntec with JZ, met up with my bro in law MZ for dinner at Food Republic, Suntec. The 2 guys talked about our upcoming Genting trip and even made plans for JB this Sat. Headed to Marina to walk around before going for our show at 9.45pm. Wanted to buy piggy beanie bag but not really very cute. Still looking for something nice that I will like. He promised to buy for me if I want but I'm still searching for the one.. Haven't found the "love at 1st sight" one yet.. Hahaha.

K.. It's 12.30am now and I need to shower and sleep. Nitez!

magz [12:14 AM]

*will dreams come true one day?*

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Powerhouse
Jus reached home! Work was crazily busy today due to month end, issues, problems and new deals. Also for a lazy idiot who was taking his own sweet time to work. Can't be bothered about him anyway. Bala, my ex-dept boss, called me today to get my id number. Told mummy and she said it's for a good reason. I think he's nominating me for some award but I can't be sure.

Speaking of award, it's been some time since I last had one. So far, I've got an award for process improvement, 2 for service quality, 1 for designing the office. 4 if I'm not wrong.. In 3 years. Won't mind adding more. Hahaha.

Headhunter called me today in office to offer me a position. Told Ed gor and he said that I should demand for 50% increment. Haha. Too high.. I'm not at that standard yet. Will see how it goes. :p

Today (30 April) is Daddy's bday! Went to pray to him this morning before heading to work. :) I'm a good girl!!

Met Bee and Felix for dinner after work today. Headed to Pasir Panjang for dinner as my other group of friends were there. Joined the other group for a short while at Powerhouse which I didn't find nice at all. The crowd was... Let's just say I prefer Dragonfly anytime, anyday. Haha. Left after half an hour or so and headed for KTV instead. Sang for 3 hours, rushed home to watch Chelsea vs Liverpool. Liverpool is currently down by 1-0 after 60 mins..

K.. Shall go focus on football coz I stayed up on purpose to catch the match. My eye rings are so dark that concealer and foundation doesn't work anymore. Sighz.. Still, the match is important. Haha. :)

magz [3:56 AM]

*will dreams come true one day?*