Funeral..

Been 2 days since I blogged. No time to blog. Funeral's still going. Will end tomorrow morning. I've been sleeping 3 hours a day for the last 2-3 days. I am ok. I cry, I laugh, I eat, I'm normal. It's just the feeling of emptiness. True friends make me touched. Partial breakdown, yes. Not total. I can only channel my energy to gram now. If 1 day she leaves me too, I'll have a total breakdown.

Was telling Chris Yaw about it yesterday. I may be a jinx.. 1st, mummy left.. then gramp, then daddy, and gram's senile.. aunt has cancer.. People I stayed with hae either left me or are not well. Why? Life.. Cruel jokes on me again? I wonder...

Nothing I can do to change life but to live on... Happily I hope. Don't ask me my plans. No plans. Life goes on as per normal, before all this happened. There's nothing I can do or change. The only thing I know now is to be strong. But how strong can a person be? I have my moments of weakness as well.

So many people saw me crying recently. All said it was not me. Kuan reiterated what I told him before in the same situation. I know.. I won't dwell in my sorrows. Let me cry all that I need to til tomorrow morning. From then on, I hope I will not cry coz of this anymore. Daddy knew I loved him when he was alive, he will know that I still love him when he's gone. That will not change, no matter how much I have scolded him in the past.

I truly appreciate all my friends and my family for standing by me throughout this very very trying period. Thank u all!

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