Insecure..

It's been a gloomy week.. Office is axing people. 5 from front end got axed today. Not sure if it's voluntary or unexpected. Honestly, I don't mind being 1 of the people being axed. Wanna change job anyway.

Another boring day at work today. Feel so lifeless. I'm a workaholic. Having no work to do at all the whole afternoon is a killer. Sighz.. Read thro some of the old mails that I've kept throughout the years in this company. Some were so funny that I still laugh when I read them. Some were sad.. Some were sweet. I realise I miss chatting with KK a lot! We used to email each other so frequently, esp after he changed to another company. Messaged him today. :p Time to catch up with him soon I think.

Visited Dad. He is in a ward of 5 people and the 3 beds opposite him, have seen so many patients come and go. But Dad and the old man next to Dad have been there throughout. Haha. Faint..

Today, I had a sudden worry and phobia.. Something which I haven't really experienced before or even felt before. I feel a change in myself, esp in terms of my character. An insecure feeling.. Doesn't feel good.. But was pacified later. I've never felt insecure before.. This is a brand new experience for me. Wonder why I'm suddenly lacking confidence, especially in myself. Something's not right with me.

Anyway, like Carissa mummy told me today.. Must have faith and confidence. Else, there's no point in dragging. She told me that when she was dating "Daddy" in her younger days, she actually told him that if 1 day she ceases to laugh with him, that means the feeling and spark is gone. Then it will be time for them to end the relationship.

Food for thought.. K.. I shall go bathe, make my instant noodles and watch my DVD. :p Shall not dwell on such silly thoughts..

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