When I Dream~

While walking to the MRT station this morning, I noticed a lot of people queuing up outside the station. Soon, I realized what they were queuing for - the free newspaper "My Paper". Some mornings if I leave my house earlier, the queue will be in the station - "Today". Most of the people queuing will be the aunties and uncles, mostly retired or housewives. I have also seen people stopping their cars at the bus stop and rushing to get a copy of the free newspaper. And I start wondering if I'll ever get to that stage where I'll be queuing up on a daily basis to get free newspapers. I seriously hope not.. Or is it jus coz the papers are free, hence everyone wants them so that they do not have to pay? Hmmzz.. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sarah (Sid's dog) is at my place since last nite. Love having her around! She's so active and yet, so obedient. Love her to bits! Wish I can jus keep her at my place f...

It's been an awfully long time since I last wrote something on my blog. Hmmz.. What's going on with me? Maybe I just don't wanna keep updating about every single aspect of my life I guess.. Or maybe, I think I complain too much on my blog and I don't wanna complain so much anymore. Haha. Whatever the case, I'm sorry for the long absence.. So what have I been up to? Other than work, the last 1 week plus was finally spent on something more meaningful and more of getting a life. :) I spent it travelling. Not to very far away places as I had hoped for and wanted, I still enjoy travelling nonetheless. Before the travelling started, I had the opportunity to catch up and meet up with a lot of people, people whom I haven't seen/met for years.. Namely Ed gor, Stuart, HW, SK, Jarren, JM, Meng, Shuang, and a few others. :) Very pleased to have met up with everyone! It is always nice to catch up and chat. Oh, and since I have mentioned his name, lemme hereby wish MENG a bli...

HK trip was enjoyable! Great to be spending time with Eeyore again, walking down the streets of HK.. Going to the peak and having a great dinner at Pearl. Various sorts of bread with sauces Foie gras with pear sauce.. Yummy! Baked scallops Beef steak with black pepper and mushroom sauce.. Juicy and tender~! Grilled Asparagus wrapped in Bacon Grilled Salmon View from the Peak Symphony of Lights from Sheraton Hotel It was an enjoyable weekend in HK overall despite some mini arguments along the way. Haha. Had a surprise on Monday (16 Nov) when I was at work. :) It was very very unexpected but sweet. Thank you for the lovely surprise! ^.^

It's been a long time since I last did this.. Blogging at the airport.. All alone at the airport now, waiting for my flight to HK. Just to meet him. :) A little excited.. Haven't done such crazy stuff for a long time. It's only be a 2 day trip. Flying today at 6.30pm and coming back on Sun nite. Dunno why but I had this crazy idea to do this since the day he told me he was posted to HK for 3 weeks. :p Hoping to have a blast there. Eating, shopping, eating, shopping! Hahaha. That's all that I wanna do. ^.^ He's staying so near my fave egg tart shop that I've decided to go there at least 3 times in my 2 full days there. Hehehe. PIG OUT!!!! The thing about blogging at the airport is that you don't get much privacy coz everyone who walks past or is next to u can see exactly what u're doing. BOO! Anyway, I am gonna make myself comfy at the boarding gate with my trusty Ipod with all my fave songs and Sid's book which I've borrowed for ages.. "Ange...

Eeyore's going to be in HK for 3 weeks from this Saturday onwards. I'll be going to BKK on Thurs. I'm gonna miss him.. So.. I decided to cook last nite! :) Ok.. I'm not a good cook nor do I normally cook. Jus wanted to do something for him before he flies. Cooked kai lan (my family style though I'm not as good as my gram does it!), egg with prawn omelette (the way I like it but failed..), my favourite mushrooms cooked my style (but I ran out of butter.. damn!), hot and sour soup (Campbell's). Hahaha. He finished it all up and I'm happy! :p Finally found my house's title deed after a very long search. Luckily dad has always been a very neat person when it comes to such documents. The only troublesome part was moving the big and heavy boxes by myself. But hardwork paid off! I found it!! Keeping my fingers crossed for this Monday's visit to HDB. Wish me luck!!! :D Watch Michael Jackson - This Is It movie. That man.. is and will always be the King of Pop...

I cannot believe this.. At my age of late 20s, I was hit on by some guy called Jansen or Jenson at Bugis Mos Burger when I was waiting for Eeyore and Bee for dinner! Not even a pub or a club!!! OMG!! I rebutted his every sentence and this guy jus goes on and on and on with the most cheesy and lame lines I've ever heard!!! Here are some excerpts from whatever I can remember for your entertainment.. Yes, at my own expense.. J: Anyone sitting here? Can I sit? M: No. Whatever. J: Hi, my name is Jenson.. *puts hand out for me to shake* M: *totally ignored the handshake and continued playing my DS* J: Oh, I like the 4 leaf clover on ur hp chain.. And oh, I know the answer to the puzzle game u're playing. M: Whatever J: Com'on.. I only wanna be friends M: I'm not interested in being ur friend J: Don't be like that. I jus came back from business trip and it must have been God who made me come here n get to know u M: I'm no Christian J: I jus wanna know u M: But I don...

16/09/09 My 1 year anniversary with Eeyore. Woke up to a nice card and a Dior watch as pressie. Took half day leave to go for my medical checkup. But prior to leaving office, I received the below which made the whole office went "wow! what's the occasion?". *blush* He accompanied me for my checkup. Then we went for a walk to Sim Lim Square where I finally bought a new digicam to replace the spoilt one. :p Went for dessert, then movie "Time Traveller's Wife" which I wanted to watch. Then dinner at the place where we went for our 1st date. ^.^ A simple day and nite but enough to make me touched and happy! :) 24/09/09 The 4th day that Ting and Kat are in Singapore from Sydney. Went to Helipad for drinks. It's been a long long time since I drank much. Had 7 shots and a housepour. :p Reached home at 2am plus where I simply conked out. 25/09/09 Eeyore went to Bali with the girls. I'm all alone in Singapore for the weekend. Met Zavien gor after years.. Ever...

On a very significant date of 09/09/09, my beloved Aunt Mic left us.. Ky and I were at her bedside encouraging her and chatting with her when she left us suddenly. It was a shocking moment for us and tears fell freely and continuously. She has left us for good.. To join my gramp, my daddy and my mummy. It was a tiring week as we prepared for her funeral and the stuff to be done after. I have no complaints about it coz Aunt Mic was like my half mummy. She took care of me and supported my every decision. It was a week of crying as emotions took over everything else. Til today, tears still well up in my eyes as and when I think of Aunt Mic. She's really done a lot for my family and me. :_( I really do miss her.. May she rest in peace and be free from sufferings, pain and illnesses from now on. Thankful for the care and support given to me throughout the week. Special thanks to Eeyore who took leave to accompany me esp on the day that Aunt Mic left us. For staying at the wake til 2am e...

Aunt Mic has been sleeping for the last 30 hours now. She refuses to wake up no matter how much I shout, scream and talk to her. She didn't move her eyes nor her limbs. She didn't give me a reaction at all. All of us broke down today. Yes, we did.. It was tears, tears and more tears despite the fact that we were trying to be strong. It ain't easy.. Not easy for any of us. When her oxygen level was low, we wanted it to be high. But at that time, she was conscious. Now that her oxygen level is high, she's unconscious. I dunno which I prefer.. But of coz, I'll prefer it most if her oxygen level is high and she's conscious. The next few days is gonna be tough. We will always maintain hope and be strong for her. We will always be there for her. Pls.. Pls jus let my aunt wake up and be ok once again.

Someone told me last nite that he's living a day at a time and that pissed me off immediately. For the simple reason - You do not have a gf doesn't mean you will die. Living a day at a time is for people who is critically ill. Not having a freaking gf does not qualify u for that. Why? Will u die without love or sex? It's obvious that u have not been thro hardships and have lived a smooth sailing life. Life is not just about having a gf or a bf. Start showing some care for others and for ur family. If u think not having a gf means u'll live life a day at a time, then pls.. Don't tell me. Coz it will only piss me off. My aunt is struggling in the hospital, fighting to live, fighting to see her youngest daughter grad from uni. That is living a day at a time coz u never know what will happen tomorrow. Jus like I used to fear for my dad when he was in the hospital. He lived, a day at a time, fighting to survive. Not having a freaking gf won't kill u, so pls grow up! ...

Wish I could do more.. But there doesn't seem to be anything that I can do.. Aunt looked weaker today though her oxygen level does seem better. Not easy for my cousins and not easy for me too. I've always been a crybaby yet I know all of us have to be strong. More discoveries today but yet again, I shall keep to myself. Massaged aunt's hands and legs while I was there, like how I used to help daddy massage. Aunt kept looking at me while I was doing it. She knows and I know that she knows. That's good enough for me. Both my cousins have not been eating much and they puke after eating. It's not a good sign. Too stressed.. But who can blame them? It's just saddening. So I promised my little cousin that I'm gonna buy her something that she will like for her to eat. Hope it really can make them feel better. There's only so much I can do actually.. Eeyore was nice enough to wait in my aunt's room for me while I took a breather with my cousins for half an h...

While everyone was wishing me Happy Friday or have a good weekend ahead and I replied accordingly, I didn't feel that happy after all. I'm sorry.. I can't bring myself to be happy at the moment. My world seemed to have turned upside down in a day. I found out some stuff tonite that made me feel burdened. I can't tell anyone and I don't think I should tell anyone what I discovered. But it made me sad, it made me cranky. I was stunned into silence. Couldn't think of anything to say in response to what I heard, unable to find any excuses or reasonable explanation for that person's behaviour. I was dumbfolded. I think I'm screwing up my own life. I'm pissing people off too easily. I'm sorry.. With too many things happening in my life and none of the things are good, I blow up at the slightest thing. I know.. I've gotta keep my emotions and temperament in control but somehow, I jus can't do it. Can't.. Cabbed again to visit Aunt Mic. TTSH....

I'm tired.. Everything is happening at the same time. I can't seem to breathe.. Figuratively. Received a sms from my cousin at 5pm today. Aunt Mic's been hospitalised. Ambulance was called. Rushed off work without finishing my stuff, without helping out. I feel bad. New structured deal today that we haven't seen before and everyone was trying to figure out the deal, yet.. All I did was grab my bag and leave for the hospital. I'll go in to office early tomorrow to sort it out, clear up as much as I can and take a half day off work to go hospital. My maternal gramp passed away yesterday. Supposed to attend the wake tonite. Ended up.. I didn't go. Think I'll go tomorrow nite instead. But seriously, I'm not close to him or to anyone on my mum's side much as I love my mum to bits. But ever since mum passed away, they've never contacted me. I was only 8 then so there was no way I could have contacted them. All these years, I don't even know how the...

Was sick with throat inflammation last Friday. Woke up feeling feverish, with numb and aching body. Felt bad and really tired as I had not slept the whole nite. Woke Eeyore up to go to work and he decided to stay in with me. :) It was a beautiful day despite my sickness, made beautiful coz of his presence. I slept most of the time but the moments when I was awake, he would carry me to wherever I want to go in the house. I had water in my cup the whole day, medicine served to me when I am supposed to take it, blanket covering me at all times, soft music playing in the background as I sleep. A princess was how I felt. And it was all thanks to him! Really glad to have him by my side. Thank you for the love, care and concern! ^.^

19 years ago, on today, my mummy left me for another world.. A world that is out of reach for me. I wonder if she sees me.. Sees who I am and who I have become. I hope she's proud of me, I hope I've not let her down in any way. The sentence that I used to tell her everytime is deep in my memory. "Mummy, if u die, I'll die with u." 19 years later, here I am, sitting on my chair typing this blog. I failed to do what I said I would. But what would have happened if I had kept to that promise? Sometimes, I do wonder.. I miss my mummy.. I've cancelled my NZ trip. I can't afford to go on long distance hols for the time being. I need to be here in Singapore jus in case. It's a huge dampener for Eeyore and it has caused him to be a dilemma. I feel bad about it but losing mum, gramp and dad.. It is obvious that my family will be more important than a trip. I can't bring myself to go on a hol and have history repeating itself like when I was in Sydney. I can...

Wondering if I should be going for NZ trip. Yes, still wondering despite the go ahead given by my family. Something seems to be holding me back but I can't put my finger to it and I don't wanna dampen Eeyore's mood or holiday. After all, he went with me to my fave place (Hua Hin) for my fave activity (sun, sand and sea). This time round, we'll be doing what he likes most - ski/snowboard. I've never seen snow before so I'm keen and interested but somehow, I jus can't seem to feel excited about it. I seriously wonder why. Not to mention, I'll miss a very fun filled karaoke session with my close colleagues. I don't think that's the reason why I'm not excited about the trip coz email was only sent out today regarding the karaoke session. There has to be another reason and seriously, I don't like having such nagging feelings coz normally when I feel like that, something bad always happens to make the feeling come true. Damn! Wish I know what i...

A trip that was memorable, the beautiful sun, sand and sea albeit a tad dirty. But the 1 thing that made it all beautiful - the hotel and its staff. But of coz, the most important would be, the person I went with. Thank u for providing me with the lovely memories! Thank u for fulfilling my wish to visit Hua Hin and to stay in the particular resort! Thank u for everything! As I have uploaded most of the pics in Facebook, I shan't upload them here. Pics here are those that aren't in Facebook. The more couple couple pics which Eeyore doesn't want the world to know. But.. I think I'm ok letting my close friends know. :) On the way to BKK airport At the moon deck of the hotel room balcony Playing a fool during breakfast Bizzarely cold swimming pool Just the 2 of us - right before my cam spoilt! Waiting for sunset..

A fluctuating week with some beautiful moments and some that I'd prefer not to have happened.. Monday Home after dinner to do the laundry and a trip to Marina Barrage while the clothes were being washed. :) Sat there, chatted and looked at stars, enjoying the cool breeze, the quietness and each other's company. Good enough for me and made me very happy. Tuesday Nice cup of smoothie was presented to me the moment I stepped out of the shower in the morning. Eeyore woke up earlier than usual to make me smoothie for fear that I'd be hungry. Touched.. Wednesday Not good.. Was it his "PMS" mood again? Made me sad the whole time since we met after work. Got so bad to the point that I cried.. Was still crying while I was drifting to dreamland. Tears only stopped flowing when I fell asleep. :( Woke up the next day with very very swollen eyes. Bad.. Thursday Our 10 months together.. Didn't wake up feeling happy. Still sad from last nite. Behaved and acted like normal. E...

Wimbledon Andy Roddick lost despite playing very very well throughout the whole match. The minute he lost, when he sat there with his head in his hands, when he started sniffing and controlling his tears, my heart broke. Totally broke. All the years of supporting him, I've never ever seen him play better than this year's Wimbledon. He deserves to win.. Yet... I teared, I couldn't concentrate on work. My mind kept replaying the loss.. It was disheartening.. And I just found out that Eeyore wrote on my MSN nick "Go Federer". Eeyore is sooooooo dead tomorrow morning when he wakes up coz he knows I support Roddick. I'm gonna give him a HUGE piece of my mind and I don't care if he's sick now. HMPH! No messing with my nick! Michael Jackson Watching the repeat of Michael Jackson's memorial service now. Everything that everyone says on stage brings a tear to my eye. Wanted to sleep early coz I didn't sleep last nite, but I'm not gonna miss MJ's...

I know I've been neglecting my blog lately. Jus been too tired everyday to blog.. :( So here's an update of me~! Reading Been reading the book written by Michael Phelps - No Limits. I'm very touched and yet inspired by his book. It's been motivating me quite a bit. If u want to succeed, u've got to put ur mind to it. Never say u can't, it's a matter of will or will not. U never know til u try. Love the book! Thanks to Eeyore for giving it to me as a pressie and gratitude of my hardwork in helping him move house and packing his stuff. :) Relationship Things are going well at the moment. Was back at KL over the weekend. Played tennis with his family and said bye to his younger bro who has gone back to UK. Overall, it was a good time together. Not to mention the 3 hours plus of endless running after the ball. It was all good fun and we had lots of laughs along the way. ^.^ Met his best friend's parents as well and had lunch together. Interesting topics as t...

Ever since I've been in this relationship, it's as if I have boarded a ship. U never know when there will be thunderstorms or strong waves, or when there will be calm seas and bright weather. Last week was 1 filled with thunderstorms and lots of unpleasant unhappiness. Arguments, misunderstandings, quarrels all came for a whole week on a daily basis. Became too much to handle that we didn't talk much. It was 1 of the roughest week thus far. Managed to clear things up on Fri but mostly on Sat nite. Had a good talk outside Mustafa Centre while waiting for his friends. It was sunny and windy from then on where everything went smoothly. Sun was the trip to Batam to attend his friend's wedding whom I also know. Had an enjoyable time there coz it was the place that got us starting this relationship. :) So, it's been a smooth sailing 4 days and today marks our 9 months together. Time flies! It's like a blink of an eye that I knew him, went out together and now, it'...

Ve ry happy with my 2 purchases over the last week or so. It's motivating me towards more sports and healthy lifestyle! :p Nike Air Swift Sister This pair of shoes are just soooo amazing! I feel so comfy in them that I'm doing so much better in badminton and tennis. I guess why I wasn't doing so well in the past also had to do with the fact that the old pair of shoes were smaller than what I usually wear. Plus, the black and pink totally stands out!! Looks sooo cool that it was love at 1st sight and a must buy! Woohoo!!! Babolat Pure Drive Standard Cortex Racquet Don't even know how to begin about this racquet. It's my fave colours - black, blue and white. It's used by a player I like - Andy Roddick. What else needs to be said? Of coz I'll buy it! Hahaha. Can't wait to get my hands on my brand new racquet this coming Saturday. Waiting for it to be strung and for the overgrip to be wrapped. I'm ecstatic!!! Just hope that the racquet won't tire my ...

I know not many people will know how to read this post.. But.. Sad shows and stories always make me cry. I like this song for now.. 锦绣二重唱 - 我的快乐 (命中注定我爱你) 徘了徊了走了错了过了等了 累了全都困了烦的乱的等的 都是真的 疯的想的念的不安的焦虑的 复杂的梦过的拥有的失去的 怎么忘呢 你做过的伤放困了你爱的音 那天的我等着你等成了摆设 我的你的他的好的坏的难的 灰的蓝的黄的酸的甜的苦的 都还记得 非常想要忘的绝对不能忘的 我心要换你的真的不行那么 只得放了 环岛的火车载着我第几天了 忽然发现这一刻我不想你了 我的快乐会回来的 只要清楚曾爱得那么深刻 不准问值不值得 我的快乐会回来的 离开不是谁给了谁的选择 我的快乐会回来的 只要清楚曾爱得那么深刻 不准问值不值得 我的快乐会回来的 离开不是谁给了谁的选择 我的快乐会回来的 只要清楚曾爱得那么深刻 不准问值不值得 我的快乐会回来的 离开不是你给了我的选择 疯的想的念的不安的焦虑的 复杂的梦过的拥有的失去的 怎么忘呢 非常想要忘的绝对不能忘的 我心要换你的真的不行那么 只得放了 放了...... 忘了......

Haven't blogged in a while. Think my life is getting to such a routine that I have nothing interesting to write about. But there was 1 day where I was pissed by the lousy and sucky attitudes of certain people on the train. There was this guy who boarded the train at the same stop as me in the morning. We were standing at the door and he was right next to the "No eating and drinking" sign. That idiot of a guy opened the bottle of ice lemon tea that he bought at the 7-11 at the MRT station and started drinking away! Being me, I couldn't help but remarked that some people are asses and know they should not drink on the train but yet still do it. He took another swig of the drink again and I glared at him til he didn't dare do it again. Come on! Why can't they jus understand the logic of not drinking on the train? Sighz.. Then when I crossed the platform to board the next train, another guy drank from his water bottle. ARGH!!!! And on the same day, when I was on t...

Had a very much needed weekend getaway with the sun, sand and the sea - Bintan. Went with Bee, Felix and Eeyore. It was basically a very relaxing weekend where we simply chilled out, sat around, chatted, tanned, swam. I kayak-ed for the very 1st time and it was fun! :) Very enjoyable trip that I had! What made the whole trip more enjoyable was the fact that gram teased me and smiled very happily when I visited her before I went Bintan. Made me very very pleased! I love seeing gram smile and that was something she hasn't done for very long. She hasn't spoken for almost a month and for her to even tease me, I felt worth it. :) Everything was made beautiful coz of her little action. ;p I'm a happy gal once again! Very very tired now. Gotta go office early tomorrow morning coz I left office early on Fri nite without finishing my work. So time for me to hit the sack while I am still dreaming and smelling suntan lotion and the nice sea breeze at this moment. Can only wait for my ...

Visited gram this morning. I came home with a very heavy heart. At 1 point in time, I actually teared at the medicare centre that gram is in. I couldn't control it.. Looking at how much my gram's condition has deteriorated, I really couldn't be strong. I couldn't hide my sadness.. Esp when I heard that she told my aunt's maid a few weeks ago that she saw my dad.Right at that moment, my tears started rolling down my cheeks.. The whole time I was there, I talked in gram's ears. I know that she heard me coz she reacted to what I said. Her actions told me that she's scared and afraid of something but she was unable to lemme know what she was afraid of. Was it my dad? She didn't open her eyes, refused to swallow or even drink the milk that was fed to her. She kept letting it trickle down her mouth. It was very disheartening.. We suspect that she's suffering from depression but we really dunno if we're right. How I wish I know how to help my gram.. How...

A lot of people think that me, being without parents, should be very very carefree and that I have tonnes of money coz I don't have to give allowance to parents anymore. They think that I have a house of my own, I'm collecting rental = I am rich. Sorry to disappoint all, but I am not rich. The inside story of my life, I don't think I wanna share. I still have my gram whom I give allowance to, whom I still worry about. My gram hasn't been doing well for about a month already. She's refusing to eat, refusing to even get out of bed. She hasn't been eating.. All she does is sleep. Even when we visit her, she refuses to open her eyes to look at us. I really dunno what's wrong with gram. I'll visit her this Saturday and if she's really not good, we'll send her to the hospital. How the hospital can help, I really dunno coz gram is senile and if she doesn't even wanna look at anyone or talk to anyone, how is anyone able to help? Sighz.. Really at a l...

Back from Leo's dad's wake. It saddens me to see my close friend, someone who's always chirpy and crappy, looking so down. When I reached, his eyes were swollen, his face was red, he looked tired and unhappy. I'm not surprised that he looked like that but somehow, my heart had a sudden aching. I felt his sadness as memories of my own dad's funeral came back to mine. So many uni friends were there that it was almost a huge gathering. People I haven't seen since I graduated or seniors who graduated before me. We were all there. Leo's gf, Lisa, was also there. She's a very very nice girl. I think, she will be good for Leo. :) I'm happy that at least he has someone there for him. Despite the troublesome journey there (MRT then bus then walk), it was worth the effort. Stayed for 3 hours and controlled my bladder for the whole 3 hours. Irvin was very nice to offer Jon & I a ride but Jon gave wrong directions, etc etc.. So I dropped off 2 bus stops away...

Had a very good weekend I must say.. Fri: Went home straight after work to open the door for my part time cleaner. Played with my neighbour's grand-daughter before heading home. She is soooo friendly and cute! Love her big, round eyes! :) Waited for Eeyore to come home and after cleaner left, we had a quiet little nite by ourselves. Watched "The Notebook" on my bed with a bowl of my fave caramel popcorn in the arms of Eeyore. The show.. is aboslutely fantastic and touching! Sooo captivating and I felt like the lead actress's life and character in the show is so much like mine. I teared at the end coz I started wondering if I'll ever find a guy like the lead actor in my life. Sighz... :_( Sat: Showered, drove to Kallang to meet his friends for dinner. We were early n hungry so had yoghurt 1st. Nice! Called my aunt regarding gram's bday and I was sad to find out that gram's condition has deteriorated yet again. :( Dinner at Mushroom Pot. Then rushed to watch...

While showering, I suddenly thought of something and what I realised made me sad.. At weddings, the newly weds will thank their parents for bringing them up, etc etc. And I realised that if I ever get married, who will I thank? Will my parents hear me thanking them? As Mother's Day draws nearer, my emotions start to stir yet again. Am I getting old coz my emotions are becoming sadder and more depressing each day? I gave flowers to the mothers in my office. But yet, I can't give my own mum anything.. 19 years since she left me.. People who know her looks at me and tells me I look like her. They all say they see my mummy in me. They tell me that my mummy was pretty. My mummy will always be pretty in my heart. I know I am nowhere close compared to her. Last week I was missing my dad.. This week, I am missing my mum.. It sucks to be an orphan..

The standard has been set for weddings. I really felt touched with the words said, the sweet moments and the song ZL sang for Lynette. It was a beautiful moment.. And it brought back memories.. I always tend to be more emotional during weddings. I'll think back on times and days when there are guys whom I thought I'll end up marrying or wanna marry. But at the end of the day, I'm still not married. At weddings, I'll feel like I'm gonna be left on the shelf somehow. Weddings are supposed to be nice and romantic.. Should look on the bright side. Even if I'm left on the shelf, I still have my family and friends. :)

If my dad was still alive, tomorrow would be his 58th bday. I no longer have the chance to wish him a Happy Bday in person. I wish I had been nicer to him in the past, treated him better. I miss my daddy..

1st and foremost, I've gotta wish Eeyore a happy bday! :) It's his bday today and we've been spending time the whole week together, be it dinner after work or simply heading home together. As Hua Hin was postponed, I really had no idea what to do for his bday. My surprise for his bday gift was spoilt when he purposely ended work early to meet me on Thurs. :( Bought him Shure SE210 earphones and music adapter to be used on his iPhone. Actually, it's coz I lost them when he bought them the previous time so.. Yeah I know.. I'm kinda un-original but I really didn't know what to get for him and it's not easy to get the Shure adapter in Singapore. I had to go thro the distributor, get contact for the retailer, call n reserve them coz it was the last piece! Then cabbed down to collect them. :p But I'm glad that it's something that he likes and wants. Met up with BS & Esther for dinner at Orchard on Fri. A quiet nite, jus dinner and some walking around b...

I know many people have been concerned. Thanks all! :) No worries.. I'm ok. We're ok. In some way.. Heated sms exchanges on Sun nite. Conclusion: We still have feelings for each other so.. We're still together. Have put that argument behind us (or so I hope) and moving on now. I'm disappointed (very very disappointed) that my trip to Hua Hin to celebrate his bday had to be cancelled (rather, postponed but it doesn't mean the same anymore). All coz of the stupid troubles and drama in Bangkok. Sighz.. :( So now, we have totally no plans for his bday and I'm trying to wreck my brains as to what to do. This sucks sooo bad.. But as long as we're still together, I'll put in effort for this relationship. Time to think hard..

3 days of non-communication, 3 days of nonchalence and non-caring. I'm still surviving. Not to worry. Desaru / Kota Tinggi today was fun. Lots of cold, lame jokes. The most beautiful sight was the fireflies. Slowly cruising along the river and looking at the fireflies blinking in the darkness of the nite. It was an amazing sight! Looked like Christmas trees lightings, just that it's natural lights from the fireflies. :) I'll always remember the sight of it all. Thanks to big bro, Stephen, for organising this trip for us. Came at the right time. More trips are being talked about. Keeping my fingers crossed that it will be successful. :p Realised that everytime I have relationship problems or am not happy, my luck in other things will be better. I was the 1st to be picked in the lucky draw. Haha. Should I be happy or sad? The heart tells the brain, "Stop thinking!" The brain tells the heart, "If you can stop feeling the pain, I won't be thinking!"

I always say.. Words are said but meant to hurt Promises are made only to be broken Hearts are to love but end up being torn apart That's me. I told myself I will not cry for u again, not ever again. Even if we were to break up, I will not cry. I have evolved. I am not a weakling. I have all along been a strong, independent person. I do not need another man in my life before I can let go of my feelings or to even mention break up. No, there's not me. And right now, at this instant, I am still me. Trip to Hua Hin cancelled. I don't care and I won't give a damn. I need to have my own life back. I need to live it the way I know it and the way I like it. I have always been a happy-go-lucky girl where sadness only lasts 1 day. And yes, I am back to that state. It only lasted a day. I was crazy in & out of office the whole day. If I didn't say it, no one would know that I was even remotely unhappy. That's me. Always has been, always will be. Mahesh kept making me ...

Today, the comments I received were "Why do u look unhappy?", "Are u very tired?", "u haven't recovered?". When I met Meng, he immediately commented that he can't feel my presence. Did I seem that bad today? I dunno.. I know I was kinda moody but seriously, I dunno why I'm feeling this way. Sighz.. They played some post Easter game in office today. Nobody in my dept joined in. We jus went about with business as usual while people were screaming, shouting and running around in office. As for me, I continued sitting there being quiet and keeping to myself. Was talking to Carissa mummy the other day and I don't really enjoy being in office anymore. Getting a bit wary... Of people and of work. Maybe coz I don't have much work to do these days that's why it sucks even more. I dunno.. I'm just.. Bored of it all. Had a good catch up session with Meng and Shuang @ PS. As always, they make me laugh. But they said that I seemed to have ch...

Back to work yesterday and everyone went "You lost weight!!!" Even my sis kept saying that I am super skinny now. Ain't my fault for puking and having diarrhoea! Now, it's down to coughing and having blocked and runny nose. Wonder if that's good or bad. The CEO of DBS passed away. It was only yesterday that I found out his wife is actually 1 of my dealers. :( My condolences to her and her family. It is very sad. Life's really unpredictable. Gotta cherish what we have. Reading "The Time Traveler's Wife". Damn nice. Nearing the ending.. I shall try and finish it up by tonite..

Fighting hard to overcome my gastric flu. I kept puking yesterday. Thank God I decided to stay home and rest instead of forcing myself to work coz I would have died in office. My back and head hurt sooo bad that I had to keep changing positions to make myself feel better. I ended up sleeping in a sitting position most of the time. :( Eeyore has been cooking porridge for me these 2 days. :) It was bland but the sweetness was from the effort that he took. The fact that he knocked off at 9.30pm and rushed home to cook for me is more than enough to make me touched and happy. He's gone off to KL now.. :_( Cher cooked dinner for me tonite. Couldn't eat the mushrooms coz the smell was too strong and it made me wanna puke. I love mushrooms.. Today, I jus couldn't do it. Sighz.. I think, I've lost al the weight that I've gained coz of the amount I vomitted and the little amounts that I ate. I really can't put on weight.. I always fall sick after that.. As Eeyore won'...

Puked in office. Dashed to toilet in front of my dept people and everyone had a shock. Came out from toilet and was shoo-ed home by everyone. I had been controlling it within me since after lunch and 5.30pm was the max.. Cabbed home, tried to sleep but couldn't. Went to doc who said I have gastric flu.. AGAIN. Sighz. My head feels like it's gonna burst now and my whole body is aching. I'm waiting for dinner to be bought home by Eeyore but as always, he's stuck at work. I've got no dinner so I can't take my medicine and I feel damn lousy right now. I think.. I'm gonna sleep while waiting for his dinner before I seriously collapse..

Last nite when I went out for dinner with Eeyore after reaching home, we talked about a topic. He asked me why does it seem like I have no best friend. I pondered and realised that somehow, my best friends have disappeared with time. I have lots of close and good friends like the bellas, Bee, Felix, and some more. But not really a very very best friend. The previous very very best friends have now moved on with their lives.. Told Eeyore that right now, he is my bf and my best friend. And the realisation hit me.. I think I'll be lost without him. That I'll feel weird. But I know I have friends who will be there.. Friends who are there for me.. :) And that made me feel better. Eeyore's going to KL again this weekend. Hate it whenever he goes back KL without me. Plane tix went crazy due to the long weekend and I couldn't book a ticket. :( A weekend without Eeyore with me.. But a weekend with my friends! :p Mixed feelings but I think I'll have a great weekend neverthele...

A very enjoyable weekend I had. It's been more or less very good weekends these days. :) I was lost.. But found yesterday. He abandoned me at Clarke Quay, all alone without my hp. I felt lost.. Didn't know where to wait and I couldn't get him on the phone which I borrowed to use at Brewerkz. Couldn't get my sis or MZ. Felt so angry.. The promise of me not being alone ever again was broken. Cabbed home angrily after managing to find sis. He finally saw the 36 missed calls on his hp and the sms from MZ that I had gone home. After some pacifying, he was forgiven. Gave him 45 mins to think of a way to make me happy once again. This was what I received. :p Warning to him was that flowers will not work the next time round. Hehe. By night time, sis was teasing me coz he and I kept laughing in the car. I guess.. That's what love is all about. ^.^

6am in the morning, I woke up crying. A very bad dream.. Rather, it was a sad dream. Dreamt that it was Xmas season. My parents are dead.. Watching all the families celebrating Xmas made me sad and alone. I stayed strong but when my siblings (in my dream I had an elder bro who is some Westerner from my office floor but I dunno him, and my sis) gave me the nonchalent attitude, I was very upset. What started me crying was gram.. Gram gave me a red packet for Xmas.. Told her it was Xmas, not Chinese New Year but she insisted that I take it. I couldn't take it anymore and I hugged her soooo tight.. And I started crying while she comforted me. And there I was, in real life, crying away as I cried in my dreams. :_( Eeyore happened to wake up at the same time and chided me for sleeping in my "little" comfort corner, far away from him. When he realised that I was crying, he became very concerned and kept asking me what was wrong. Gave him a brief summary of my dream and the touch...

Received the below mail from Mahesh. It brought a tear to my eye when I read it so I thought I should share it. Treasure what u have and live ur life to the fullest! That has always been my motto. To my dearest Eeyore, despite the fights, quarrels and arguments, despite the tears that fell together with the raindrops yesterday, our love will outlast and outweigh all the unhappiness. After the apologies, u took my hand, held me so tightly when we ran in the heavy downpour back to my place amidst the thunder and lightning, we knew our love for each other will stand strong. The conversations that we've had today jus made me thankful for u.. For having u love me. Thank u! Here's the mail: Beautiful Lesson !!!!!!!! The girl in the picture is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21. Next to her, her fiancé, Nick, 23. The picture was taken shortly before their wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US. Katie has terminal cancer and spend hours a day receiving medication. In the pictur...

Qual è il significato di amico? Non ce la faccio più... Non importa.. Non lamentarsi. Grocery shopping with sis & MZ @ NTUC last nite. Eeyore joined us late. I can't control my spending without him around. Spent $300+ at a supermarket. Record breaking moment for me. Fish steamboat after that @ Rangoon Road. It's nice!!! 1 of the best thus far. :) On the way to Rangoon Road, I was lying on Eeyore's lap at the back seat. It's so nice to have him stroking my hair, touching my face and simply looking at me with loving eyes. Yes, it made me feel loved and very much like a little girl. Lena called when I sat down for dinner. She's coming to Singapore!! Getting married!!! 4 months pregnant already. She's been with Jimmy for soooo many years now. She has finally gotten what she wants. :) She asked if I've found my right one. Told her I hope so. So much catching up to do when she's here! Can't wait! Shucks.. Too busy blogging that I forgot to check in on ...

Some things happened to make me realise who my friends are. Certain people, I'll no longer ask for help from.. Or rather, I'll choose not to contact anymore since they don't give a damn anyway or simply gimme lousy excuses when asked to meet, etc. Don't wanna waste my time and energy on such people anymore. They are jus not worth it. I did something important during lunch time today. I went for an interview. :p With which company, I shall not say but let's just say that I think I merely did ok, nothing spectacular. Might not even be considered as good but oh well. Keeping my thoughts and expectations low so that I won't get too disappointed if I don't get chosen. And if I do, then I'll probably be happier. Hehehe. I hate interviews! People who know me well enough will know that. But yet, every year around this period, I do crazy stuff like this.. Going for interviews. Sighz.. Thankfully, I always have supportive people around me who get me thro all this ...

Friday (20 March 2009) Finally met up with Ken after some time, together with Bee & Felix. Dinner, then KTV @ Orchard Party World. Home at 3am, conked out at 4am. Saturday (21 March 2009) Woke up at 1.30pm, lazed in bed watching Indian Wells Championship til 2.30pm. Changed and cabbed to Aunt Mic's place together with MZ & Aunt Marg. Had breakfast and lunch at the same time (3.30pm). Fully stuffed! Mahjong all the way til dinner time at about 7.30pm. More mahjong til 10pm. Home, watched Man U lose while playing my game. :p Laundry then bed at 2am. Sunday (22 March 2009) Woke up at 1.30pm again. More tennis on TV while in bed. Dismantled fan to wash, fixed it back again after washing. Scrubbed and cleaned my toilet til sparkling white. I love clean toilets! :p Changed and cabbed to Anne's place for some tennis action. Watched Stef & Sid (the big chefs) at work before heading to the tennis courts. Tennis for about an hour, then upstairs again, then another half an hou...

I'm sure many of us have been misunderstood before.. But has anyone been as misunderstood as me? I seriously wonder.. Not going to dwell on it. It's a good thing I have friends who know me well enough to gimme all the encouragement and support, who gave me the much needed trust with no questions asked. Thanks to Justin for the encouragement over FB & MSN, telling me that I am who I am and even asking me to stay sweet. :) It really gimmes a warm fuzzy feeling to know that. Also to Carissa mummy, Christine mama, Irene, Cher & Jess for believing in me. I never did have the jealous streak in me before. Maybe that's why I don't understand and dunno why there are people who can be soooo easily jealous and angry over little things such as friendships. Yes, I believe in platonic friendships and most of mine have worked out well. But, oh well... Different people, different thinking. Anyway, I know for a fact that I like being the way I am. I can't please the world an...

An unexpected yet very pleasant surprise yesterday. Never saw it coming.. He made me upset on Sun nite by saying that he won't be meeting me on Mon (yesterday).. Why was I upset over such a small thing? Coz Mon was our 6 mths together. I teared a bit but refused to show any form of sadness after that. It was all a ploy.. Asked him again on Mon morning if we will be meeting at nite. He said no. Sad, I wore rather slack and went off to work. At work, he kept asking if I was busy. Then suddenly asked if I wanna do dinner with him. I retorted by saying that he was the one who didn't wanna have dinner with me. He told me to go home to change after work and to wear a dress if possible. Refused to tell me the reason no matter how I tried to pry it out from him... Home to change.. While waiting for him to come home to pick me up.. He brought me to Equinox for our half year anniversary. I never ever expected him to plan anything for our half year anniversary. Anywhere with him is good f...