Mummy's 19th Year Apart From Me
19 years ago, on today, my mummy left me for another world.. A world that is out of reach for me. I wonder if she sees me.. Sees who I am and who I have become. I hope she's proud of me, I hope I've not let her down in any way.
The sentence that I used to tell her everytime is deep in my memory. "Mummy, if u die, I'll die with u." 19 years later, here I am, sitting on my chair typing this blog. I failed to do what I said I would. But what would have happened if I had kept to that promise? Sometimes, I do wonder..
I miss my mummy..
I've cancelled my NZ trip. I can't afford to go on long distance hols for the time being. I need to be here in Singapore jus in case. It's a huge dampener for Eeyore and it has caused him to be a dilemma. I feel bad about it but losing mum, gramp and dad.. It is obvious that my family will be more important than a trip. I can't bring myself to go on a hol and have history repeating itself like when I was in Sydney. I can't live with regrets in my life.. I need to do what is right and what I believe in.
I'm glad he understands but I'm sorry about the problems my decision has caused. The cancellation on friends, the cancellation and wasting of money on tickets, hotel, and the snowboard package that was booked. I'm sorry for making his friends unhappy and giving them trouble. For making everyone busy and hectic today thinking of a solution.
But I can go on a trip anytime.. I can't revive someone who leaves for another world. I need to do what needs to be done..
Thanx to Stef, Jean and Anne for making me laugh tonite. :) I had fun and it really made everything that was on my mind disappear. Thanx for everything babes!
The sentence that I used to tell her everytime is deep in my memory. "Mummy, if u die, I'll die with u." 19 years later, here I am, sitting on my chair typing this blog. I failed to do what I said I would. But what would have happened if I had kept to that promise? Sometimes, I do wonder..
I miss my mummy..
I've cancelled my NZ trip. I can't afford to go on long distance hols for the time being. I need to be here in Singapore jus in case. It's a huge dampener for Eeyore and it has caused him to be a dilemma. I feel bad about it but losing mum, gramp and dad.. It is obvious that my family will be more important than a trip. I can't bring myself to go on a hol and have history repeating itself like when I was in Sydney. I can't live with regrets in my life.. I need to do what is right and what I believe in.
I'm glad he understands but I'm sorry about the problems my decision has caused. The cancellation on friends, the cancellation and wasting of money on tickets, hotel, and the snowboard package that was booked. I'm sorry for making his friends unhappy and giving them trouble. For making everyone busy and hectic today thinking of a solution.
But I can go on a trip anytime.. I can't revive someone who leaves for another world. I need to do what needs to be done..
Thanx to Stef, Jean and Anne for making me laugh tonite. :) I had fun and it really made everything that was on my mind disappear. Thanx for everything babes!
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