When I Dream~

Home! Tired and sleepy! As always!! Haha. Work today was... Normal. Nothing much to do. Surfed web and read up on some soccer news. Love talking to dealers sometimes! They're.. Knowledgeable? Had a talk with Ed gor.. We're both sad... Reason will be known soon. :( 1 thing I know for sure.. Everybody's leaving me again.. Be it at work, or my friends.. 1 by 1, they all leave. People come and go all the time, but this time, this year, it's really gonna be a sad year for me. When will my turn come? Saw a job posting for Trading Asst position. Thinking of trying out for it but could not get more info as to which desk this belongs to. Plus the fact that I'm in this dept for less than a year, to get a transfer, I need to talk to my boss 1st. That's the sucky bit but I'm interested and keen to move on. I shall decide by Friday.. JZ will be at work til late tonite and tomorrow nite.. :( Nothing I can do to help except not to disturb him while he's busy. But he...

Sleepless nite last nite again. Sucks to the core. Eye rings are becoming darker each day and I simply hate them. Can't live without my concealer now. Sighz.. Don't wanna be dependent on such stuff but simply no choice. Dinner at Bugis followed by coffee at TCC. Just reached home. Sooo tired but had some good laughs earlier on. :) Nice! Work ended at 6.30pm but stayed back to help Gopi and Shanghai side til 8.30pm. Til my brain was dead and refused to work any longer. Eyes refused to open anyway. Yeah.. I'm totally knocked out. K.. Shall shower and sleep early tonite. Else, my mood will become bad and I'll become cranky and crazy. Nitez!

Back from shopping! Didn't buy anything for myself.. As usual.. Sighz... Getting normal. I'm always buying things for other people. Bought 2 bday gifts and they cost me $350! Haha. I simply walked into the Ralph Lauren shop, looked at what I wanted and told the guy to wrap it up and paid up. I must be crazy!! Anyway, as long as the people I'm buying for like the present, I'm happy. :) Went to watch "The Other Boleyn Girl". Nice real show about the former King of England. It's a true story and it got me very intrigued!! Bumped into Bee Ling from my sec sch.. She was a close classmate of mine in Sec 3 & 4. So nice to bump into her again. :p Will arrange to meet up and catch up with her soon!! K.. Shall go shower and watch some vcds now. Tata!

Home! Should I say I've got a good weekend? I'm not sure if it was all that good anyway... Spent the whole day with JZ yesterday. Haven't done so in a very long time now. 1 whole day, just the 2 of us. Yes, I was happy though we didn't really have a lot to talk about nor were we very intimate. It still made me happy. After I woke up and showered, we went to Telok Kurau for lunch. Ate mee pok and bought for his sis, my sis n my bro in law. Drove back to pass the noodles to his sis, then to my sis's place and after which, we were on the way to JB! Stuck in the jam at Causeway for an hour, where I slept for 10 mins in the car due to drowsiness caused by medication. Finally reached JB and the 1st thing I bought was cup corn! Haha. So tempting.. Then we walked around a bit. He brought me to the shop where he always buys his snacks from. The 2 female owners kept calling him "leng zai" aka handsome boy and they were real loud about it. Haha. Was so funny coz ever...

Was at the doc's clinic by 8.45am but my turn only came at 10.15am!! Fainted... By the time I reached office, it was 11am! Sighz.. Worked til 8.15pm which means I didn't use my MC at all. :( Doc said I have a stye.. 2 in fact coz both eyes are swollen. And I have infection at my dark eye ring area. I'm sad.. I had to wear specs to work and was laughed at by everybody! :((((((( Took medication for my sinus/flu that seems to be getting worse and also for my rash. Hope I recover well now. ^v^ Work was soooo busy that my medical leave was simply wasted. Much as I would like to leave early, Mahesh had a meeting in the afternoon and there was no other maker coz Gopi is on leave. And there were soooo many deals today which also meant that as soon as I had cleared a deal, another deal came in and I had to check it. Sighz.. Not complaining coz I like to work but.. Not when I'm supposed to be resting my eyes. Anyway, JZ picked me up from work and it was dinner @ MOS Burger, Bisha...

Finally met my boy on a weekday!! Haha. Just that it was only for 1.5 hours.. :( Didn't even get to see enough of him.. I think I only managed to hold his hand for 5 mins out of the 1.5 hours. Sighz... I'm deprived of my time with him!!! I've got dinner tomorrow so he'll pick me up from wherever I am then head home. But he promised that we will go out on Sat. I hope so!! Work was busy today. Had to attend a totally slow and not very useful training for almost 1.5 hours. Felt like dying in the meeting room. So many people fell asleep!! Haha. Thank God today was a busy day. Gave the reason that there were too many new deals not checked and some were urgent so was granted permission to come out and do! Managed to get Mel out from the training as well. Haha. :p Urgent - so maker (aka me) do, check (aka Mel) had to quickly check. Hehe. Bought flowers - Lilies for Carissa mummy today! It's secretary's week today and poor mummy is such a good secretary yet nobody appre...

Not very happy coz JZ didn't meet again today after promising me to. Sighz.. Just called him and he said he's still stuck in the office. Will meet me tomorrow instead. I hope he keeps his word this time. Told him that he has broken his promise to me 2 weeks in a row and that I will be upset/angry if he breaks his promise again. He said that if that's the case then I'm not suitable to be his woman coz he's at work, not having fun. I was only kidding but I like hearing him say that I'm his woman. Hehehe. I'm so easily satisfied.. :p Anyway, thank god for friends! I ended work at 9.30pm and yet, managed to have dinner!!! Haha. Ate prata before heading home! :) So happy!!! Busy day at work but totally can't remember what I was busy with. Too busy to remember. Hahaha. Felix made me herbal tea today coz of my flu. Thanx Felix! K.. Me gonna go zzz.. I'm sooooo tired and it's 12.05am already!!!

Met up with a few friends in town for dinner earlier and shopping!! Been shopping quite a fair bit recently. No choice. Can't wear my pink clothes for 100 days so I need more black, white, brown, blue clothes. Bought mostly white and black. Haha. Spent another $60+ on 2 tops. Same as Saturday. I like them so it doesn't really matter to me. :p Had Gelato ice cream before coming home! And the fact that I have gone to the toilet 4 times since morning ain't such a good news but I simply can't resist my ice cream fix!! Hehe. Hope my tummy will cooperate with me. :) Woke up with this really badly blocked nose that made me so agitated and pissed. Luckily it cleared after an hour else today would have been real terrible. Plus the swollen eyes.. Oh my god! And the horribly ugly pimples.. Unspeakable. I look.. AWFUL!!!! Plus the rash.. WORSE!!! Oh my.. I hate the way I look now. UGLY!!! JZ's still in the office finishing up some work. Said he's trying to finish most of th...

Staring at my lappie on my lap, I'm suddenly at a total loss of what to write. Yes, I am.. I'm finally running out of things to talk about coz... I've been talking too much? Haha. Maybe.. Or could it be that my life has become such a bore that I dunno what to write about? Or maybe.. I'm just sleepy as always. Hahaha. I'm.. full of nonsense. Listening to Enigma - Once in a Lifetime now. Love Gregorian music, especially the dark, eerie and mysterious types. Unpredictable.. I like! Haha. Dan did email me today. He really set his schedule to send me an email every Monday morning to send my Monday blues away. Was happy to receive it! It did brighten up the day quite a bit. :) Think I'm seriously gonna come down with flu soon. My nose is not listening to me. It's running away or creating blockages all the time. ARGH! It's more of the herbal tea time I guess. And my eyes practically refuse to stay open at any hour, any minute, and second of the day. This is bad...

Just finished cutting my nails. At long last! Been procrastinating for the past 1 week. Can't stand my ultra long nails. So hard to do anthing properly. ARGH! Quick blog coz it's already 11.47pm and my eyes can barely open but I still gotta pack some stuff before I can head to bed. Salsa today was bad. Real bad on my part coz I simply wasn't in the mood to dance. I danced terribly and I know it. Sighz.. Don't ask me why I wasn't in the mood coz I dunno myself. Simply not in the mood for anything at all. Sighz.. Packed my kitchen again after salsa. Wasn't in the mood to do so either but I can't sit there while Felix cleaned for me so I cleaned too. Was ok.. Not as bad as last week. Rather, not as dirty. Haha. But still got at least 2 more weeks of cleaning to go. Kill me pls!!! Slept at 8.30pm last nite without removing contact lens or washing up. Woke up at 11.30pm to wash up and do my stuff. Slept at 1am again. Don't ask me why I'm still tired. Thin...

Not in the best of moods. I managed to sleep last nite with the aircon on but I woke up at least 5 times in the middle of the nite. The lack of sleep has seriously made me highly irritable. And the bad thing happened.. Sighz.. I had a slight argument with Anne.. I really didn't intend to sound pissed and I know I was in the wrong. Have apologised but whether she accepts or not, I really can't fore it on her. Went to Plaza Sing to buy some stuff and I spent at least $130 I think. My mood is on the super down side. Didn't eat dinner again. Why again? Coz last nite, I didn't eat dinner in the end. JZ and I didn't meet at all. I'm hungry now but.. Maybe later I'll grab something to eat. Think I will go drink my Moscato wine to cheer myself up.. Oh ya.. The below just came up from my DVD as I'm typing this blog and I decided to write down... 没有他的日子 黑夜的每个角落都充斥着他的身影。弥漫着他的气味，残留着他的笑声。她与他的感觉渐渐失去。虽然失去了，至少你曾经拥有和他一起笑着走过的一段路。。。 English Translation: Days without him Hi...

Insomnia hit last nite.. Slept only 2 hours. Thought I would sleep well coz Agnes gave me such a fantastic shoulder massage in office. But... 1am -Went to bed 2.45am -Still tossing and turning 3am - Decided to be online 3.30am - Decided to offline and watch DVD instead 4.30am - Decided to off DVD and force myself to sleep again 5am - Think I finally feel asleep 6.45am - Alarm rang and I felt like throwing my hp away 7am - Forced myself to wake up unwillingly Can't believe it! I must be nuts! To think that I survived thro the day was an amazing feat. Mel's on medical leave today. Morning was kinda busy coz Gopi couldn't understand some stuff and I had to teach him a bit. New deals came fast and furious at 5.15pm. Yeah.. Dealers book late again. No choice. Cleared some and Gopi did some. He's been bugging me to do new deals so I let him. At least I left on the dot at 7pm. Haha. Supposed to meet JZ tonite. I'm still waiting for him at home to go dinner. He's still...

Received news this morning that Aunt Mic was in hospital for an operation. Followed by some other news including 1 that Gopi has been confirmed as permanent staff. Mood just went down. Drastically down coz it only proved to me that it doesn't matter if you are capable, efficient or responsible. All you need is strong backing and everything goes. He's taken 6 months to master Options. I had only 1 month plus to master Options, Futures & Commodities. I see no point.. Seriously no point... Dan emailed me early in the morning. Managed to cheer me up a bit. Hoping against all hopes that when he comes back to Singapore, we can sit down and chat like we do now. Not a proper dinner just the 2 of us before. Wonder if we can manage that. I'm not sure.. But at least we're getting on fine now I guess.. Saw 4 deal amendments then. Heart totally sank and the mood never came back to being normal. Went from bad to worse instead. How could it not go bad when it took 4 amendments for...

eDempsey on a Monday nite with a mysterious person who doesn't wanna be named or made known. Shall not give out too much info. Dinner and drinks at Oosh followed by ice cream at Ben & Jerry's. Oosh was beautiful as usual. Nice quiet dinner, great ambience, great company, good food. Had 3 scoops of ice cream as always. I'm a greedy little pig!! Ate mint chocolate chip, chocolate fudge brownie and New York super fudge chunk! So delicious!! What made it even better was getting a chance to sit on the swing to eat!! It's such a wonderfully sweet moment and it made me feel like a small girl again. I used to have a swing in my garden when I was young and still staying at a terrace house. The swing was my fave place to be, together with my dog then. Love those days where I would sit there, swinging and gazing at the sky. Have always loved that feeling!! Wonder when I can have something like that again.. But today was close enough. Except that the swing was not at my own hou...

Home!!! Where should I start? Hmmz.. Came home after salsa to clean and pack my kitchen. Thank God Felix was around to help me out! Else, I would definitely die here. My kitchen is seriously and honestly dirty. ARGH!! Haven't cleaned in years and it sucks to the core! Can just faint by seeing the mess, dirt and especially the cockroach eggs. Eewwww!!! I threw away lotsa stuff and cleaned it thoroughly. Worked til 9+pm, showered and went for dinner with Felix at Lorong 8. Reached my void deck at the same time as Matt. Hopped into his car after getting down from Felix's car and drove straight to Serangoon Gardens for drinks. Wanted to have wine beside Coffee Bean but the place was closed. Saw this Happy Daze Cafe still open so we went in. They were showing Man United vs Arsenal so we went in, sat down, ordered a bottle of white wine, 2 chocolate ice cream - Happy Daze Bomb and Death by Chocolate and watched soccer. Service was not good, wine was not that fantastic, ice cream was ...

Saturday (12 April 2008) Woke up at 3pm. Yes.. 3pm! Haha. JZ went to office to work 1st then bought fish soup with rice for me for lunch. He woke me up when he reached home and I showered and ate. Then headed to his office with him to help him work. Simple things like folding the cards, etc etc. Worked from 4.30pm to 6.30pm. As long as it's with him, it doesn't matter what I'm doing. I had fun anyway! Hehehe. Came back to his eldest sis's place for dinner. MZ, my bro in law, called after our dinner and I let him talk to MZ to discuss our Genting trip details. After hanging up the phone, he said he will pay MZ including my share. Told him I'll pay him back instead but he said he will pay for me so I don't have to pay him back. Sweet~~~ He played football with his nieces and nephews for a while as I sat there sms-ing Matt. Haha. Then came back to his place to watch DVD. At 11+pm, he was hungry so he drove to Bedok 85 market to buy supper. I had rice dumplings! :p ...

Today's just not my day in office today. Spilt coffee on the carpet and had to spend more than half an hour cleaning it. Thanks to the cleaning auntie who helped to clean up the mess as best as she can! Sighz.. Didn't even get to drink a single sip of the coffee that Felix passed to me and it was all gone. ARGH! Me being the bad luck person, while shifting the drawers, my finger got squashed by the drawers. Sighz.. Sad.. Painful too. Clipped the flesh of the little finger and now it's reddish. :( Had a very very wonderful time with Matt today! Dinner at Vivo. Brought him to Aji by Hanabi and treated him to the ala carte buffet. Don't think we ate a lot but doesn't matter coz we had fun chatting and it's always the company that counts. After dinner, we went to Siglap for ice cream. Ate at Haagen Daazs. I ordered the 3 scoops ice cream - raspberry sorbet, mango sorbet and lemon sorbet plus an iced cappucino. He had 2 scoops of cookies and cream and chocolate cooki...

Dinner with Matt has been postponed to tomorrow due to a communication breakdown. Hahaha. Dinner with Bee and Felix instead. Had prawn noodles opposite Felix's office. Soup's good. Enjoyable! Had good chats with Agnes, Edmund gor and Carissa mummy today. Catching up with them and discussing some stuff. All private chats so not gonna write about the things that I talked to them about individually. Tummyache.. Toilet 1st. Oops.. Edmund gor just called. Talk to him 1st.. That was a fast call of 2 mins. Haha. Taught Gopi how to do Futures once again. He's forgotten even the most basic stuff. Had to start from scratch. Took me the whole morning so I had to rush Options production today. Managed to finish by 7pm coz there were no new deals today. Luckily for me.. Else I'll be swamped. But it's nice to be busy again. Time passes faster.. Hehe. Took MRT to Raffles place to meet Bee and Felix. Is it that I haven't taken the train for a very long time or there's simpl...

Bored in office now.. Decided to write down some stuff coz I know I'll be home late tonite. Going for movie with JZ after work today. Watching "The Three Kingdoms" starring Andy Lau. I know this is his way of cheering me up coz I am unhappy today. A big effort on his part coz he has been so busy at work that there was actually a possiblity of us not meeting today. Yet, he told me about watching movie during lunch. Very very sweet of him. Very very touched.. Why am I unhappy? Aunt Mic's cancer has relapsed. (Refer to 04 Feb 2o08 entry about my closeness with Aunt). I feel like I am a jinx. People who have stayed with me are either sick or have passed away. Mum passed away, followed by Gramp, then Gram became senile, Aunt Mic had cancer, Dad passed away.. Sis told me recently she has a cyst at the breast area, Aunt Mic's cancer came back. All these people were those whom I once lived with. Could I really be the jinx? If so, then I fear for JZ.. I do not think I can ...

Boring day at work. No deals but helped Edmund gor do some stuff til 9.30pm. Took cab home. Sis n hubby came over to take some stuff from me. They bought sushi for me for dinner! Instead of butter cookies for dinner again, I had sushi! Hahahaha. Bad bad feeling that my gor is either leaving or transferring or something. Not sure what. He was caught talking to Priscilla (HR manager) and boss today. Then he talked to boss alone. Not a good sign. Not good at all. Starting to be worried but he still refuses to tell me coz he said it's not confirmed yet. Sighz.. Wish he would just share with me again. Can't stand the tension and suspense. :( Not yet sent out my resume. Decided I will only do it when Edmund gor tells me what is going on. If he's really moving out of the department, I will definitely start sending. Lemme just procrastinate for this much longer. Coz I know I will be sad to leave.. JZ's been real busy these few days. Haven't had much time to talk on the phon...

Just finished watching my 40 episode drama.. So touching. Teary eyed and feeling happy. So sweet.. Can't take it. Wonder if I'll get to see Dan in HK when I go over for a visit. He will be coming back around the same period that I'm supposed to go over. I really hope the dates don't clash. Wanna meet up and catch up over a drink. That will be the 1st for us coz we've never really sat down and talk before. Not sure if we'll have the chance. Hmmz.. Thinking if I will be able to sleep. Seems cooling tonite so will not on aircon yet. See how it goes.. :)

Boring day at work. Insomnia last nite again. Seems like it happens from Sundays to Thursdays. Why? Sighz.. Shall try to on my air con to sleep tonite. Hopefully it cures my insomnia else I'll go crazy soon. Came home with tummy ache again. 3rd time to the toilet today. Haha. I'm really a toilet queen. :p Have been keeping in contact with Dan from JC again. It's amazing how far we have come. From JC.. All the rumours and nonsense til now, friends once again. I look forward to the daily messages we will leave for each other on Facebook. He's working in HK now.. A place where I've always wanted to work at. Fantasy? Maybe.. But at least I'm happy to be in contact with him again. Just like I'm happy to be in contact with Law again. Seeing his advertisement on TV the other day gave me a sense of happiness. Haven't met up with him for very very long. Miss the good old days in Council where we were so close and so happy then. :) My JC days...

Friday (04 April 2008) Quite an ok day at work. No new deals at all but had to clear up some month end stuff still. Pretty alright. Ended work at 6.45pm but waited for Rachel til 8pm to leave office. Took a cab and she dropped off at Clarke Quay to meet her bf while I got off at City Hall to meet Bee and Ting. Walked around City Hall to get something for JZ. Ting met us there and we had dinner at Din Tai Fung. Ordered sooo much! A bowl of dan dan mian for me, shared 10 xiao long baos, red bean dumplings, guo tie or something like that, yam paste dumplings and some sort of chilli dumplings. Haha. Sooo full that I thought I would explode. Chatted and caught up over dinner. Walked all the way to Hotel Rendezvous Coffee Club for drinks. Had a Iced Earl Vanilla and chatted til 12.30am. A few people at the next people were playing Truth or Dare and 1 of the guy's dare was to take a picture together with me. Obliged but did not give him my mobile number when he requested for it. JZ picked...

1st thing I did when I reached home.. Yeah, you guessed it. Toilet! Tummy ache! Hahaha. As usual. Left office at 10pm. Very very hungry now. But too tired to eat now. Kinda disappointed at the same time. Don't ask why. Lynn has resigned. Sighz.. Seriously time to update my CV and do the necessary. Going to temple to pray to Dad tomorrow morning before going to work. And Mahesh and Irene are on leave. Need to rush back to work and to do my morning stuff. Plus the fact that auditors are coming tomorrow for at least 2 weeks. Oh no!!! Still suffering from insomnia. Think tonight will be able to sleep well coz I'm really very very tired..

Another pretty busy day at work. Was ok. Just that I was really really tired. Couldn't sleep on Sun nite and the last 2 nites, I woke up at 3.30am to use the toilet plus my rash was acting up. Sighz.. Irritating. All I need now is a nite of very sound sleep. Hopefully I can get that tonite. Lunched at Macs. Had the meal plus a free McFlurry. Then I bought a cup of coffee back to office to drink. Not sure if it's coz of the hot and cold drinks that I'm having a slight diarrhoea now. Sickening.. Yet to eat dinner. Slightly hungry now. Most likely I'll cook instant noodles using my new utensils. Hehe. Shall head to the toilet now... Tata!

Busy day again. Still at month end. Like the way time flies. Not complaining. Lunch time today. Irene, Mel and I were chatting when Mahesh put a copy of Headhunt on my lap. Wanna know what Headhunt is? It's like the Recruit section of Straits Times just that the ads are all posted by headhunting companies. We saw some job opportunities suitable for us and we discussed it real loudly. Boss was in his room but he doesn't understand Chinese anyway. Who cares anyway? Haha. It was bad but we couldn't be bothered. We're all unhappy employees. :p Worked hard til 7.30pm. JZ called and asked what time I would be off work. He showered and picked me up from office. Told him about the job opening. He's supportive as always coz he knows I'm unhappy. :) Had dinner at Toa Payoh Lor 5 market. Ate fishball noodles and had sugarcane juice. Wasn't fully satisfied so ordered fried chicken wing. Was nice! Deliciously crispy skin that's even better than KFC. Drool~~ Home afte...