Time to move on?

Heard from Rachel recently that Ting told her Tom was sad and that she felt bad for Tom. What makes people think that I'm not sad? When a relationship fails, people always assume that I don't feel the pain, that I don't feel sad at all. It's just a matter of me telling other people how I feel. When I don't say anything ro refuse to talk about things, it doesn't make me less sad or heartbroken. Nobody knows what I'm feeling inside.. By being strong on the exterior surface has been making me so torn up inside.

NOBODY KNOWS HOW I FEEL SO SHUT UP ABOUT ME NOT BEING SAD AND DEVASTATED! FUCK! DO I NEED TO ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD MY FEELINGS EVERY NOW AND THEN? EVERYBODY FEELS SAD FOR HIM LIKE IT'S MY FAULT! YEAH, IT'S ALL MY FUCKING FAULT OK? HAPPY? SATISFIED?

Everybody's been telling me that I seem aimless and have lost my motivation and drive. That's exactly the point! I have lost it all! I'm even losing my mind! Been thinking of dying and crap like that. Why am I being like that? U THINK IT'S COZ I'M FUCKING HAPPY? IF SO, THEN YES! I'M DELIRIOUS WITH JOY RIGHT NOW!

Should stop letting myself be consumed by my own tears. Time for me to stop hurting and move on with my life. Stop crying and be strong once again. Will I be able to do that? I wonder.. But I'll stop thinking about dying for sure. And I'll try to find that drive and motivation once again.

And for the world to know.. Yes, I still love him and can't get over him and there's nothing I can do about it. SO STOP DOUBTING MY FEELINGS AND GET OFF MY BACK! ANYWAY, I DON'T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY! FUCK OFF!

[Edit] Sorry about the language used in this post. It's just that I hate people to assume things about me wrongly.

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