When I Dream~

After the shout-out post, I finally managed to have a good night's sleep til morning that nite. I had been having sleepless nights for the past few weeks and it had gotten worse everyday. I was waking up at 2am, 5am & goodness knows what other odd hours. It was getting to a point where I was practically not sleeping. All that have changed since the previous post. This whole week, I've been sleeping throughout the night and it feels good to finally be able to sleep well. :) Thanks to everyone who have shown their concern to me in 1 way or another over the past few days. I know it's concern, not sympathy coz people who read my blog are people who are truly close to my heart. I really appreciate the way that each and everyone showed your concern for me. Deeply touched.. Thank you! I am back to the normal me. Happy and carefree once again. I'm glad to be back to normal and to live my life again. I'm glad for friends like all of u, people who know me well and care ab...

Heard from Rachel recently that Ting told her Tom was sad and that she felt bad for Tom. What makes people think that I'm not sad? When a relationship fails, people always assume that I don't feel the pain, that I don't feel sad at all. It's just a matter of me telling other people how I feel. When I don't say anything ro refuse to talk about things, it doesn't make me less sad or heartbroken. Nobody knows what I'm feeling inside.. By being strong on the exterior surface has been making me so torn up inside. NOBODY KNOWS HOW I FEEL SO SHUT UP ABOUT ME NOT BEING SAD AND DEVASTATED! FUCK! DO I NEED TO ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD MY FEELINGS EVERY NOW AND THEN? EVERYBODY FEELS SAD FOR HIM LIKE IT'S MY FAULT! YEAH, IT'S ALL MY FUCKING FAULT OK? HAPPY? SATISFIED? Everybody's been telling me that I seem aimless and have lost my motivation and drive. That's exactly the point! I have lost it all! I'm even losing my mind! Been thinking of dying and crap...

Back in Singapore again. Not exactly happy to be back. I love the life I was having in Shanghai. Somehow, coming back never ceases to sadden me. Nothing to look forward to when I'm back. Much happier in Shanghai. Sighz.. I really ned to get out of this country.. Or find something that I can look forward to here. Else, I might just start hating this place. Didn't get to meet up with Meng. :( Had flu on Friday and hence, was sleeping when he reached Shanghai on Saturday. Anyway, hope he has fun in Shanghai and enjoys it as much as I did. :) Have changed my bedsheet and should go sleep soon.. Took the early morning flight to come home. Thanx to Felix for picking me up at the airport! I'm gonna nap now.. Nitez folks!

Somebody forwarded me the below email recently and I found it to be very true and meaningful. Just wanted to share.. DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love. With your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love some...

Can't believe that the restaurant owners can still recognise me! Have been going back to the restaurants near where I used to work for lunch yesterday and today. The restaurant owners still recognise me though I was only for 2 months previously and I have left for a month! They have been extremely nice to me and giving me free drinks and cakes. Never knew I could leave an impression on the peoople here. :) Makes me real happy to be back. Maybe the decision to come back to Shanghai was correct. Was thinking to myself this morning that I seem to be living in a fairytale the last few days. I will hate to wake up from this fairytale and to be back to reality. I love the fairytale I'm in. Will there be a happy ending? Maybe I should have tried harder to look for a job here previously. Maybe then, I'd have been happier. But I don't like to look back and regret the decisions that I've made. Whatever decision I've made, I know I've got to be happy about it. I chose ...

Here I am.. Back in the land of a place where I just returned from.. Shanghai. Many people ask me why I'm wasting time and money coming back to this place after I've been here for 2 months. Most people won't even come here again after they've been here once. For a simple reason. I needed to find myself again and there's no country I know better than this place. Hence, I'm back here. Currently sitting at one of the cafes I liked the most while I was here. Name of the cafe is called "House of Flour" and I loved the food, the people and that they have Wifi here and I can use my laptop. It's far from where I'm staying but really near to the office where I used to work here. Really miss this place the whole time I was back in Singapore. Embarking on this journey to find myself came as a surprise too. I've never been one who has been rash in decisions or to spend money like this but this time, I really needed a break from Singapore. Hopefully, w...

Just came home not too long ago. Time now is 3.03am.. Went for dinner with my family and after that, went to Balaclava and had a bottle of vodka. Headed to Club Instinct (my new favourite haunt) and had my bottle of gin and to sing. My life recently has been like that. Lots of booze in my life. Went to Villa Bali with some of the ex-colleagues and those who have transferred to other depts after work on Fri nite. I reached home at 2+ am and fell asleep with my light on, contact lens still in my eyes and everything unchanged. Haha. Slept soundly til 7am I think. Switched off the light and went back to sleep with everything still intact. Haha. That was how tired I was. Was sleeping at Esplanade with Lynn and Bee on Wed nite as well. Guess I know why I'm so tired. Emotionally and physically drained. A lot has been going on in my life, not to mention that my dad just found out he is diabetic and might have colon cancer today. My life is in a mess and my dad is adding on to it. Totally s...