Goodbye Alex Daddy...

Haven't blogged in ages.. only coz there's only unhappiness in my life and hardly any happiness. Didn't want to bog and make others upset reading my pathetic life. But can't help but want to post today...

Today.. is the day that my ex-colleague aka Mummy Carissa's hubby got cremated. I was at the wake for Alex Daddy everyday to support mummy, Bernicia and Basile. I know the pain they are going through and i just wanted to be there for them. Alex daddy was always nice to me and really treated me as his half daughter just like mummy Carissa did. Both of them have been together for 31 years... and Alex daddy was mummy's 1st love. Broke my heart seeing the pain for them... And I can't help crying and tearing.

The urge to call Eeyore is strong.. I feel like telling him everything.. Leaving Citi coz he's no longer working there.. That I still miss him and wish he's here for me.. To treasure life and the people around him.. That the dumb shit at my house is already attached again with a bf after her fking divorce that caused us our relationship... But.. Apparently he's already happily attached and who am I to him now...

Every night I beg and pray to all the gods to take me away.. To not let me open my eyes ever again to see daylight.. Yet instead of taking me, they took Alex daddy instead.. He's a good man with wife and children.. I'm all alone in this world.. Just take me.... I'm totally ok with it and I'm sure the rest of the world will be too! Pls just let me go in peace...

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