London Business Trip - Happy or Sad?

Everyone kept saying they envy me - Just joined this team for 1.5 months and I'm on a business trip to London for a week (21-28 Mar 2015). Taking business class flight on SQ for 12-14 hours, staying in service apartment and in such nice cooling weather as well. In some ways, yes it is nice and definitely worth the envy.. But to me.. It is nothing more than a torture. Not that I don't like London and I most certainly love taking airplanes especially SQ.. It's just that.. London/Europe was the 2nd last place we travelled to before I went into the coma and has always brought back fond memories of us coz it was the place I truly, totally fell in love with him and became submissive to him.

Not that I know why that happened. Maybe being in a Western world helped. I remember we were so in love then. Holding each other's hands the whole time or hugging each other. Cuddling together, little pecks on the cheeks/forehead/lips on and off as we walked. Being here right now is a torment to me as everywhere I walk, I remember all these details and how much I miss and yearn for him yet remembering that he is now happily with someone else. FML FML FML FML. That's all I can say. I'm just seriously not meant to have happiness in my life. 

And the weirdest part of it all, I had to dream of Tom (longest bf I had before Roy) last night. Dreamt that he moved from his East Coast house to another place and I went to see him and his parents. He used to have 3 dogs - Venus, Planet and Cosmo and I dreamt that they have all passed away except Cosmo. :( Woke up feeling real sad and Tom is happily married in real life now anyway.. 

Seriously, how much more can a girl take? How much more cruel jokes do you want to play on me? Why can't you just take me away once and for all?? So tired.. So tired of it all... And somehow, I have been missing my mummy and daddy a lot these few days as well.. Can I join them pls?

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