2 year timeline..
August 4th came and went.. Mummy's been gone for 24 years now. How I wish I had kept my promise to her and gone along with her. I've always told her that no matter where she goes, even if she dies, I'll go with her. Yet here I am, typing this post.. Still alive. Hate myself for not keeping my promise to her. Hate myself for living so long. Hate myself for everything... Fell sick again over the weekend. Vomited so much on Saturday and Sunday night that even my gall juice came out. Such a horrible bitter after taste. Kept telling God/Buddha/whoever is up there to just take me away then.. To let me be with my mummy. Nothing is worth living for in my life now anyway. I can't stand being alive. But yet.. I managed to live on.. once again.. Spent the night at Ann's and Aunt Janet took good care of me. So embarrassing to make her worry about me the whole night. She's no longer young and still has to take care of her own son and family.. And now, even me.. I fe...