When I Dream~

Too sick to really type.. So much has happened and I have so much to write about but with a fever at 39 degrees right now, I can't think straight. Waiting for Eeyore to come home soon... Being sick or having some sort of problem/illness 4-5 times since Nov is no fun and definitely worrying. I know I'm getting old and my system is getting weak but I have been to so many docs in the last 2 months, I have wiped out all the claims that the company has allowed. And of coz, I've always had an inkling I'll die young - in my 20s. This is the last few days of my 20s so will what my 6th sense from young been telling me come true? Demoralizing and morbid thoughts running through the mind and head. Going mad with fever? If I really don't make it past my last few days of my 20s, pls know that I am glad to have known all my friends, to have everything that I have gained and lost. To be alive in this world before was awesome! I'll be in heaven looking down and showering ...

Unbelievably, I've been on medical leave for 4 days. In June, I was on medical leave for a whole week due to pharynghitis. Not a particularly healthy year for me for sure. Gotta move my arse to keep fit and healthy from now on. Can't be slack anymore for the sake of my own health. Sigh.. But what's the point of taking medical leave when I've been working from home everyday? :( Especially today, I was online the whole day working. How depressing. Is my work really more important than my own life and health? Hmmmm... I think I could have recovered faster if I had gone to see my usual doctor on Monday rather than to the clinic opposite my house. But I was too sick to go so far to see my usual doctor (her clinic is near my office area). So I went to the doctor opposite my house who is normally not that bad either. Little did I know that this time, he wasn't too good! :( With fever and flu and telling him that I can't sleep much at night due to the blocked nose...

I have come to realize the moral of my life story. And what is that? Moral of my life story: NEVER EVER gain weight else suffering starts! Why do I say that? Seems like everytime I put on weight, I start falling sick.. This is the 3rd time this year I think, and the umpteenth time over the last 4 years since I knew Eeyore. I blame it on him for making me fat and hence I fall sick. Hehe. But it's true!! I really can't put on weight. It happens everytime and it sucks! I end up suffering from some weird illness/sickness and it's horrible and dreadful. Aching bones, sleepless nights, heavy pounding head. I'm just glad all these pains over the last 2 days have now been converted into a blocked nasal passage and sore throat. Not that I prefer having blocked nose or sore throat but those are more bearable than all the other symptoms. Just like my colleague WL asked.. Sore throat again? Yeah.. The throat has been naughty these days. I have a feeling I'm too heaty as u...

I know I ought to be more diligent and hardworking in updating my blog but honestly, it's getting tough. Been busy these days and losing focus. Was online booking test deals earlier and that's the 1st time I use my laptop in a few months - so unlike me to neglect my laptop. Worse of all, I have been neglecting my own weight. Been feeling like a lump of fats but not doing anything about it. I see my ugly double chin daily and hate looking at myself. I feel the fats wobbling on my thighs and yet, I'm still turning a blind eye to it. I keep telling myself I have to start moving and yet, my brain is definitely not taking control of my body. Sigh.. Had drinks with Charles last night - we had a good talk about work and sports. Work wise, he's always been there as a good "teacher". I always message him at work when I don't understand what is the lingo used, what is needed to be done even when he's not in the same company now. He's very helpful and wil...

Yet another sad day - the big retrenchment project is in play again. Today, Chris was asked to go. He's the last person in the group who interviewed me for my current role to go.. Charles, Jacko, Chris were asked to go. Thomas changed role last year, Ppal didn't wanna manage any more teams, Rodders left on his own. 6 people interviewed me.. And now... Maybe I jinxed all of them? :( I heard about the new changes - I'm happy for Si who can work in singapore now. But I still feel bad for Chris.. Nothing stays the same forever. Jacko told me I should leave soon too. I really dunno.. With markets like this, it's tougher than anyone can imagine. Plus I'm still gunning for my long overdue promotion which I will only find out about the results in dec. Only time will tell.. Til then, I wish Chris all the best - I know we will always be in touch and I'm sure I'll pop by his place soon enough to play with his uber cutie daughter and little doggie. I'll miss hav...

I'm extremely proud of myself!! I passed my driving test - basic, advanced and practical - all in 1 shot!! Continuing the female passing rate tradition in my family! Hahaha. For a very long time now, I've been wanting to get my licence, to drive around and finally, my wish is fulfilled!! 26 Sept 2012 - the day I must remember. :) Been driving quite a bit since then coz Eeyore has been very nice to let me drive his car. Hehe. Attended Yuhui's wedding as the emcee - glad the guys liked my script and think that I did a good job. Phew! Huge sigh of relief there. :) adding 2 of my favorite pictures here! Celebrated Jean and Stef's birthdays with the besties group last Saturday. Haven't seen them in a while and it's great to meet up again! :) missing them all!! Congrats to JW and XW on their engagement!!! Sooooo happy for them! Another couple tying the knot! Woohooo!! Also met up with the secondary school group last Thursday for dinner. The 2 soon to be mummies ...

I am finally done with the presentation for promotion today! All over and done with now. Whatever happens next, I can only leave to fate and to the gods above. A month of preparation, 2 weeks of slogging over presentation, 3 trial runs with manager - I am finally free of staring at my slides daily and thinking of my speech! Wooohooo!! Now for another important event on Thursday and to prepare for Yuhui's wedding as the sole emcee on Saturday! More script writing to be done but at least that's slightly less stressful since I've been emcee for a couple of times now. It will be another act of presentation skills on Saturday though I must say being a wedding emcee is a lot more fun! Haha. This is a stressful week but I'm looking forward to the next 2 events this week as they are not related to work! Hahaha. Keeping my fingers crossed all the way til December where I will know my results then. Couple of weekends ago was my 4 years anniversary with Eeyore. We didn't...

I know I've been missing.. What with planning a 2.5 week trip and traveling and all. More about that when I'm free though I still owe a lot about my Europe trip last year. Oh well.. More important stuff to mention.. I'm sort of in a dilemma between a 2 level jump in ranking with the same company or joining another firm altogether. Pros and cons analysis below.. 2 rank jump - what I've been waiting for and lacking the last 5 years. Long overdue. But I have to do a presentation about myself in front of quite a few people, handle a few projects and still be made scapegoat for issues that are not my fault. I've not been happy being accused wrongly and my rebuttal and explanations have fallen on to deaf ears. Disgusted by the fact that my current department is ruled and overrun by the people of the same race, come from the same country and speak the same language but are considered expats in my country!! I've never had an issue with that but they seriously side w...

Yesterday evening, while on the way home from the supermarket after work to cook dinner, I checked Facebook and saw a post.. A friend I've known for 5 years - Benjamin - has left this world on Sunday 15 July 2012. Up til now, I have no idea how he passed away - some say it was a car accident, some suspect it's illness. I really dunno and I don't think I wanna probe. All I wanna do is write a small eulogy for him.  Ben - 22 June 1980 to 15 July 2012 I knew Ben through clubbing in 2007, the days where I was pubbing or clubbing almost everyday after my break up in a 3 year relationship. Ben was also clubbing at Dragonfly and somehow (I can't really remember how), Ben and I got to know each other. I remember the only reason why we exchanged numbers and all was coz he was a genuine guy. He could turn out to be a friend rather than an acquaintance. And so, everytime either of us went clubbing at Dragonfly, we would sms each other. In the end, I went with him and his grou...

Wow! It's been a month since the last post! Have I been that busy? Hmm.. Actually yes. I've been busy trying to get myself the best present before my birthday at the end of this year. I'll keep this present a secret for now coz I don't want to be too optimistic and disappoint myself in the end but so far everything has been ok! :) Keeping my fingers crossed!!! What else have I been busy with? Attending weddings! Gosh, so many people have gotten married. Other than Bingjie's wedding, I attended 2 other weddings in 2 consecutive weekends - Sharel and Jerome. 2 members of my Onz gang got married! So happy for them!  At Jerome's wedding with Louise, Kat and Chuan :)  With the email pal - Lisa! :)  This big eyed cutie kept playing with me at Jerome's wedding :D Had a day out with Peg and Eeyore to Science Centre - Been sooooo long since I last went to the Science Centre! An eye opener coz it's so different now with so many things to see and play with. E...

Been a while since my last post. Have been busy the last couple of weeks helping with the preparations for Bingjie's wedding. :) Sooo happy for David and her and that the whole wedding went well. Some background: David is a pole vault coach and Bingjie (known to others as Rachel) is our Singapore female pole vaulter. It's the 1st ever indoor pole vaulting wedding event where there was a wonderful display of pole vaulting at Chijmes. Woke up with a horribly sore throat on Saturday morning. :( Booooohoooo! Spent Saturday morning with Bee Ling, Stacy and Bingjie going for brunch at Antoinette Palais Renaissance followed by manicure and pedicure at Juup Nails Somerset. at Antoinette  Tai Tai Nails! Thank God Eeyore was around and a great help the whole time! He came by coz Stacy and Bingjie had to go to Far East to do nails extension and manicure. Eeypre came by to loan the girls his car while he and I took Bingjie's car to Chijmes to offload most of the stuff a...

Haven't spoken to Mr Z for a long time now. Think the last talk was at the company Christmas party in December but that was too noisy to be a proper talk. Anyway, he told me today that I have been looking very happy these days and that the smile on my face can't seem to be wiped off. :) and he said it was a killer smile. Lol!! So what's there to smile about? Hmmm I guess it's coz the old Maggie is coming back to the body and soul. The one where nothing brings her down, where she takes things on a positive note. It's the one who thinks that it's jus great to still be alive and enjoying every moment. I need not be rich or beautiful to be happy. My pay is unchanged. My skin is still as bad. But what does it matter? The heart is feeling gorgeous and upbeat. It's all a matter of mindset. I'm hoping that this positive mentality can stay longer and stop disappearing as and when it feels like it! Life is beautiful so cherish and treasure every moment!! Liv...

I'm pissed! My idiotic ex bf gave his current gf my hp number without my permission - all coz she's going for an interview in the company I work for!! And guess what.. She managed to get an interview coz she spoke with the biggest shot in my company on the plane coz she is an air stewardess!! Seriously, wtf??? Why am I obliged to help her?? I don't even know who she is and I hate the fact that my number was given to someone I don't even know without my permission! I think it's damn rude when I dunno the person at all!! Soooo annoying!!! ARGHHHHH!!!!

Today is the 2nd time I've encountered the harsh realities of life and work. 1st time was on 14 July 2011 Charles's contract was not renewed and he was asked to go. Yes, many people might think that this could be better for him coz he's at least got a package to leave. But did anyone think of the bigger picture? Guess not. It's not that we weren't expecting Charles's contract to not be renewed. We were. So why were we surprised and unhappy? A few reasons. 1) Why didn't anyone talk to him about his contract? Why didn't they think of offering him a local package if they think his expat package is too expensive? He's been with us for 4 years. No major losses incurred and yet even turned the books around from a loss to a profit within his 1st 8 months of joining us. Shouldn't that have been taken into account? 2) The new guy they hired to replace Charles went around telling people in the industry that he is leaving his old company to join us. ...

Went to see a new doctor - TCM. 1st visit today and I ended up crying at the clinic. Haha. Unimaginable right? But true. Apparently there is a reason behind the young look. Not coz I'm good at making myself look young. I'm not sure if anyone has noticed this about me - that the left and right side of my face are not proportionate. I've noticed that myself (obviously coz I stare at myself right??), especially in photos. And of coz I've always wondered why. Today I found out. Unbelievably, my new Chinese physician pointed it out. Reason: my parents. Define: right side of face signifies the mother. Left side of face would obviously be the father. So, what does that mean? My right side is more full - I love my mum more and I have no bad thoughts or feelings about my mum. My left side - I am judgmental of my dad. Negative feelings, yeah.. Sometimes. Rectification: to love both my parents equally in my heart. Then my looks will be balanced and my well being will be bett...

Someone said I look younger than his daughter today who is still studying!!! Floating in the air!!! Jus wanted to note this down. I shall blog more soon!

Omg! Time flies! We're in the month of April now!! Currently at work on Good Friday! :) I've never really minded working on public holidays actually - office is quiet, I get to dress sloppy in shorts n a top with flip flops and walk all around the office. I get to listen to music while working, come in to office at 9am and leave early at 3pm (though I'm now still in office coz I'm waiting for Eeyore to be done with gym). And I get a day off work whenever I want as compensation! Tralalala! Well, since the 1st quarter of the year has passed us by, I decided to finally act on my resolution for the last few years and stop procrastinating! Now all I have to do is to persevere for the next 3 to 6 months and hopefully, it will all be good!!! Time to work hard and not slack anymore!! :)))) Time to leave office soon!! Yay! Have a nice and long weekend everyone!!!

At a gathering with the usual ex colleagues gang of KK, Goldie and Justin. Somehow the topics were all involving money, pay, condos and cars. A very materialistic conversation the whole night. And also the immense pressure by my brothers on me to change jobs. Which led me thinking back to the conversation I had with Ky today - materialistic gains or fulfillment in life. I'm no longer sure which direction I'm heading towards. I mean, of coz I would like to be more decently paid for the amount of work I do (I am the lowest paid amongst all my ex colleagues despite being in middle office whereas some are still in operations). I don't think I'm asking for too much but 5 years of being stagnant in terms of pay and ranking is bound to make any normal person unhappy and unsatisfied. And that's where I am right now. Then comes fulfillment - does it come with a condo, a car, more money? The fulfillment Ky and I were talking about is actually on how we can contribute to t...

Quick update before I head off to dreamland. Been feeling kinda down from work lately as I feel that my Singapore team lead has something against me. Hasn't been a good year thus far but hasn't been all that bad as well. So what happened to make me really displeased today was that on Monday, we had new China management associate (MA) who joined our desk. My team lead, N, introduced him to all the other team members except me. Today, we had a new big boss joining us on the floor. Again, the introductions did not come to me. Even the sales guy who was sitting next to us was introduced to the boss and this sales guy is totally irrelevant to the team! Whereas I was totally neglected again. It just makes me feel like I'm not part of the team and definitely feel that I'm very out of place and redundant to the team. :( So there I was, pouring my heart out to Eeyore and I felt so upset by such an act that I almost felt like crying. I held back the tears of coz. Why should I let...

Just spent an entire hour alone with the woman that I love, the woman who gave birth to a man who has passed away for 4 years now - a woman known as my gram. Told her many things, not that she knows or understands anymore but jus wanted to tell her. Like how I used to lie next to her in bed and talking to her about stuff. :) told her I'll be going to Hk this weekend and she actually repeated the words "hong kong"! Unbelievable! I think she misses her homeland.. I seriously should make a better effort at waking up early on Saturdays to visit my beloved gram. Gives me a sense of fulfillment and happiness. :) Something might happen soon. Currently I'm unsure and uncertain as yet. Keeping hopes and expectations low to avoid disappointment. :p Have a good weekend!

Just realised I didn't blog about Valentine's Day. Lol!! Oh well, like I said last year - when you love someone, everyday can be Valentine's Day. :) Just that on this special day, we show more love towards each other. We had a simple dinner at Paradise Inn (Thomson Plaza) on Valentine's Day, followed up with another dinner 2 days later at Greenwood Fish Market Bistro. :D My Valentine's Day flowers! *Melts* Last Wed (22 Feb), I decided to make dinner - macaroni and cheese. Little did I know that Eeyore wasn't a big fan of mac & cheese. :( Oh well, I liked what I made and since we had extras leftover, I brought it to office for lunch the next day. And guess what!! Chris S, YH and Martin all liked it!! Chris S loved it soooo much that he asked for more of it at 4pm! Hahaha. Soooo over the moon! On Sunday (26 Feb), I made dinner again! The most satisfying dinner that I've made thus far!! I just felt a certain sense of pride after cooking the dinner. :)...

Back from lovely Hk 2.5 weeks ago! Had a nasty rash for 3 days which subsequently got better but it's still not at its 100% yet. :( hopefully I will recover fully soon! It's only February and I must say albeit dragon year is supposedly a horrible year for me, I've had a lot of ups n downs. Ups - watched "Love" (a taiwanese movie) last nite and it was super good! Loved the show heaps and Bee, whom I watched the show with last nite, actually bought me the soundtrack this morning! Omg! She's awesome! And Jean bought me something much needed today too, aka brush covers for my makeup brushes! With marvelous friends like that, I know I'm blessed even in times of a bad year. :))) Downs - screw ups at work that were the result of a system issue but I had to suffer the brunt of my team lead's anger and fury. Work is not as fun and enjoyable as it used to be and I've a good mind to leave or change job soon. Not sure how long I can take this but I'll ...

It's good to be on leave and meeting up with ex colleagues and old friends! Making full use of everyday and travelling everywhere just to catch up with good friends! Highlight of the day - I am meeting my college mentor (Steve) this afternoon after 12 years??? Kinda excited! So I've met up with the onz gang for dinner the same nite I reached Sg - Jerome, Shi han, Sylvia, Lisa n Agnes. Then I went back to Changi n met Carissa, Christine, Irene, Josh and Zoey. ;) Today I'm heading to Lynn's place n met Ed Gor. I know I have more friends to meet up with but limited time to do so. I'll try to meet up with friends I've missed out on soon!! Flying off again tomorrow morning. Someone commented (can't remember who) that I travel by plane more than on trains. Hahaha. I do wish that is true!! Hk tomorrow til Sunday. Then Hk again in march! Hell yeah!!! PS: I think niseko is gorgeous!!!!

5 years have passed.. Every passing minute of everyday, I feel as if I have wasted my time and my youth. I thought that my hardwork would pay off, that I would reap the fruits of what I have sowed. But no, 5 years in a row, my fruits have eluded me. Why? I really wonder why I am still persisting. After 5 years, is it time for me to really let it go and move on to something else? I'm confused. I dunno. This year's zodiac sign is bad. Economy downturn is happening. Do I be reckless or should I carry on? I have dedicated so much of my time and life here. What am I gonna do? The promise that it will happen this year was broken. Promises are really meant to be broken? Always telling me to wait another year. How many more years of my life do I have to give and offer? I'm not getting young anymore. I don't want to be stagnant... I drank beer during lunch. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed a drink. I had to de-stress. It felt good. Couldn't be bothered anymore. Lef...

Here comes Part 1 of my loooooong overdue Europe trip post!! Once again, I'll try to let my pics do the talking. :) 05 Nov - 14 hour flight to London!! Stayed at Eeyore's bro's (W) place. Poor W had to sleep on the couch while we were there. So sorry!!!! Beautiful clouds in the sky! Snow on the window halfway through the flight!! Eeyore and I on the plane - I was super tired but refused to sleep! Look at the eyelids! 1st time I see a London cab! 06 Nov - Outlet shopping day!!!! The view when I looked out of the window the moment I woke up!! Gorgeous!! Check out the porthole window - that's the living room window!! Feels like you are living in a submarine! Hahaha - Can't help taking this photo - the workplace! Right where I was staying! This is taken from the ground floor of the apartment. :) Baker Street Tube Station - Sherlock Holmes on the wall!! Train ticket to Bichester Village for Outlet Shopping! :DDD Night view of Bichester Village! 07 Nov - Buckingham Palace...