When I Dream~

Walking home in the relentless rain, what's the point of walking under shelters when my feet were still soaked? Being sick in this weather jus sucks but Ben managed to make me stay positive. Hmm.. Gotta stop complaining about me being sick. Makes me feel like I'm such an attention seeker. But then again, while I was in office this afternoon, I had chest pains that were so bad til every move I made jus hurts my chest and my heart was beating at an extra fast pace. Body gone mad and crazy though I think it's more caused by sudden stress at work and the endless coughing. Oh well, at least I'm ok after taking a breather to the ladies and to the pantry. :) The person whom I am wondering if he's colleague or friend, let's jus call him Mr Z coz I don't wanna expose his identity. Mr Z is making me confused - he didn't comment much on the thing I did. I dunno his thoughts. I thought I'll play it cool at work yesterday but he was so warm to me that I was at a ...

Recovering slowly but surely. Finally. Nose dropping off from all the blowing. I might have done something that I shouldn't regarding work. Not feeling good about what I did. Better to treat colleagues as colleagues instead of as friends. U never know who's going to betray u or what political games others are playing. Too late for regrets now but I've learnt my mistake and I'll make sure I learn it well. Mindset's gotta change and I've gotta stop being so naive. Grandma's discharged today. Phew.. Jus left with a red patch on her face but at least the swelling's gone down. All's good for now and I'm thankful for that. Met up with Josh and Belinda, Roy and Sheila, Leo and Lisa for Josh's bday drinks. Yes, I was still having my damned flu when I went to meet them. Was at Alley Bar and made to drink 2 pints despite the flu and popping Panadol in the afternoon after lunch. Oh well.. They tried making Lisa smoke so I took the ciggie on her behalf. ...

After popping pills, I'm still not fully recovered. In fact, it got worse in the afternoon today. Gosh.. What is wrong with me?? And I hate the fact that I'm sick at the wrong time. I had to postpone drinks sessions and what made it worse is that.. Gram was rushed to A&E this evening. Right when I stepped out of office and was at the MRT station all ready to go for drinks when Aunt Marg called. Gram had a huge patch of rash on her face that was all red and swollen. It was spreading rapidly and she had a fever as well. Drinks plan had to be shoved aside as I rushed to the hospital. Sorry babes and guy! Waited for the ambulance to send Gram to hospital and finally saw how Gram was doing. I knew the patch was painful and hot. Poor Gram had to go thro all that... She was put on drip, given an injection of antibiotics for her fever and had a huge tube of blood taken from her to run tests to see what was causing the rash. She was screaming and shouting in pain the whole time. How...

On my busiest day in this job thus far, I worked 12 hours while being sick. Popping panadols to cure the flu and the fever that came along with it in order to concentrate at work while half the time, I was feeling really sleepy. 8 cups of tea, 1 bottle of herbal tea, 2 litres of water later.. Not to mention the cup of Redoxon, and plenty of Vicks vapor sweets and inhaler, I feel more human except for a leaking nose, a heavy head and droopy eyes right now. It's been a while since I've last had a bad flu and today was 1 of those times. Rushing down to the pharmacy the minute it opened was memorable. Thank goodness that I'm working in town now. But it was a pity I had to forsake the ever so tempting Magnum Gold so as not to worsen things. :( Hoping to recover by tonite coz we're shorthanded for the rest of the week til mid Dec. Time to dig out previous medication from doctor and to head on to bed for some much needed rest..

Jus came back from a great dinner session at Skinny Pizza with a close friend, M, whom I haven't met in a year. This time round, he brought his wife along but yet, we were still able to talk as freely as always. :) I had a very enjoyable time catching up on our lives. Dear M, thanks for the concern over all these years. Thanks for always caring and the sms-es that u will send me when I'm down, be it family matters or relationship affairs. U have been a wonderful friend all these years, showering me with your concern and offering your advice but never forcing it on me. I appreciate your company all this while and I know I always will coz u never cease to make me laugh everytime we meet. :) Thanks for everything!

I really think I might give myself a heart attack or get a nervous breakdown someday, at the rate that I screw up at work. The screw up this time involved USD 88 million! I swear my heart nearly skipped a beat when I realised what happened. My guardian angels up above must be really busy looking after me. Not sure why but I suddenly decided to stay a bit longer in the office today coz if I hadn't and this issue was only resolved tomorrow, I can't imagine the possible loss that might hit my trader's books. Even retrenching me will not be enough to pay for the damages. Mus also thank god that Kelvin was around to help me, or I'll be soooo dead. Issue was resolved thankfully by 5.57pm, ahead of the cut off time of 6pm or I'll still be dead. Phew! Sweat was definitely trickling down my back and I was sooo nervous I could barely stand or sit still. 2nd major screw up in 7 months of working there. This is bad! I need to focus and concentrate on my work under all circumsta...

It's a brand new week and I'm back to the same old me! Not gonna dwell on things anymore. Life has to move on and the world doesn't stop moving coz I'm unhappy. Neither do I think my parents will wanna see me in this emotional, upset state of mind for too long. So, happiness is always the way to go. I jus wish that people will tell me things directly instead of using not so subtle, indirect methods by posting on FB and stuff. But honestly, whatever. I don't think I'm the only person in the wrong in this argument and I've apologised twice. Not like my friend apologised when he was sarcastic to me coz it's all jus a joke. So, in all aspects to the apology and whether he wanna continue this friendship, I'll say this.. Take it or leave it. Do whatever coz I'm not gonna dwell or think about this anymore. It's too childish and too ridiculous. We are adults and grown ups so we should act like 1 instead of starting word wars/sarcasm in any way possib...

Hasn't been good for me recently but I think it's getting better, or so I hope.. I wish to forget but I know I can't coz there's no outlet for me to let it out (I don't like to tell my family unlike others who love talking to their family members and blindly following or agreeing with their advice.. I'll probably be rebutting them and I want some sort of privacy) so what better way than to blog. My friends can judge me or jus take it with a pinch of salt.. if u have my blog address means u know me well enough to know what kind of person I am. Bad Stuff 1) Huge argument with Eeyore. He hinted at some stuff and kicked up a huge fuss when everytime he does the same, I keep quiet. He went way beyond the limit and all I did was be a little furious and I was only 1/5 of what he did and he made it into a big issue. I've had enough and I was annoyed but yet, I controlled. Then, he made it worse by saying and hinting that I'm materialistic again. He didn't sa...

The whole of today, u told me to leave at 11pm for my buddy Alan's farewell. U said u will pick me up then. U told me that u were tired n u don't want to send any of my friends home when u picked me up. In the end, I took a cab home at 12 midnight by myself. At 12.30am, I still don't see u at home. So much for being tired.. And I cannot believe u actually thought I'm upset coz I had to pay my own cab fare. Never knew what u thought of me til that instant. How lowly and cheapskate u consider me to be that I can't pay my own cab fare. I've never needed a guy in my life, much less 1 to pay for things for me. I have been self sufficient all along. I earn my own income. I never cared about ur $. Don't think of me in such a materialistic way. It only makes me hate u. It's not the 1st time that promises are broken. It's not gonna be the last either. Every eve of public holiday, u say u're tired. U tell me u need to go meet ur friends for some clubbing a...