When I Dream~

16/09/09 My 1 year anniversary with Eeyore. Woke up to a nice card and a Dior watch as pressie. Took half day leave to go for my medical checkup. But prior to leaving office, I received the below which made the whole office went "wow! what's the occasion?". *blush* He accompanied me for my checkup. Then we went for a walk to Sim Lim Square where I finally bought a new digicam to replace the spoilt one. :p Went for dessert, then movie "Time Traveller's Wife" which I wanted to watch. Then dinner at the place where we went for our 1st date. ^.^ A simple day and nite but enough to make me touched and happy! :) 24/09/09 The 4th day that Ting and Kat are in Singapore from Sydney. Went to Helipad for drinks. It's been a long long time since I drank much. Had 7 shots and a housepour. :p Reached home at 2am plus where I simply conked out. 25/09/09 Eeyore went to Bali with the girls. I'm all alone in Singapore for the weekend. Met Zavien gor after years.. Ever...

On a very significant date of 09/09/09, my beloved Aunt Mic left us.. Ky and I were at her bedside encouraging her and chatting with her when she left us suddenly. It was a shocking moment for us and tears fell freely and continuously. She has left us for good.. To join my gramp, my daddy and my mummy. It was a tiring week as we prepared for her funeral and the stuff to be done after. I have no complaints about it coz Aunt Mic was like my half mummy. She took care of me and supported my every decision. It was a week of crying as emotions took over everything else. Til today, tears still well up in my eyes as and when I think of Aunt Mic. She's really done a lot for my family and me. :_( I really do miss her.. May she rest in peace and be free from sufferings, pain and illnesses from now on. Thankful for the care and support given to me throughout the week. Special thanks to Eeyore who took leave to accompany me esp on the day that Aunt Mic left us. For staying at the wake til 2am e...

Aunt Mic has been sleeping for the last 30 hours now. She refuses to wake up no matter how much I shout, scream and talk to her. She didn't move her eyes nor her limbs. She didn't give me a reaction at all. All of us broke down today. Yes, we did.. It was tears, tears and more tears despite the fact that we were trying to be strong. It ain't easy.. Not easy for any of us. When her oxygen level was low, we wanted it to be high. But at that time, she was conscious. Now that her oxygen level is high, she's unconscious. I dunno which I prefer.. But of coz, I'll prefer it most if her oxygen level is high and she's conscious. The next few days is gonna be tough. We will always maintain hope and be strong for her. We will always be there for her. Pls.. Pls jus let my aunt wake up and be ok once again.

Someone told me last nite that he's living a day at a time and that pissed me off immediately. For the simple reason - You do not have a gf doesn't mean you will die. Living a day at a time is for people who is critically ill. Not having a freaking gf does not qualify u for that. Why? Will u die without love or sex? It's obvious that u have not been thro hardships and have lived a smooth sailing life. Life is not just about having a gf or a bf. Start showing some care for others and for ur family. If u think not having a gf means u'll live life a day at a time, then pls.. Don't tell me. Coz it will only piss me off. My aunt is struggling in the hospital, fighting to live, fighting to see her youngest daughter grad from uni. That is living a day at a time coz u never know what will happen tomorrow. Jus like I used to fear for my dad when he was in the hospital. He lived, a day at a time, fighting to survive. Not having a freaking gf won't kill u, so pls grow up! ...

Wish I could do more.. But there doesn't seem to be anything that I can do.. Aunt looked weaker today though her oxygen level does seem better. Not easy for my cousins and not easy for me too. I've always been a crybaby yet I know all of us have to be strong. More discoveries today but yet again, I shall keep to myself. Massaged aunt's hands and legs while I was there, like how I used to help daddy massage. Aunt kept looking at me while I was doing it. She knows and I know that she knows. That's good enough for me. Both my cousins have not been eating much and they puke after eating. It's not a good sign. Too stressed.. But who can blame them? It's just saddening. So I promised my little cousin that I'm gonna buy her something that she will like for her to eat. Hope it really can make them feel better. There's only so much I can do actually.. Eeyore was nice enough to wait in my aunt's room for me while I took a breather with my cousins for half an h...

While everyone was wishing me Happy Friday or have a good weekend ahead and I replied accordingly, I didn't feel that happy after all. I'm sorry.. I can't bring myself to be happy at the moment. My world seemed to have turned upside down in a day. I found out some stuff tonite that made me feel burdened. I can't tell anyone and I don't think I should tell anyone what I discovered. But it made me sad, it made me cranky. I was stunned into silence. Couldn't think of anything to say in response to what I heard, unable to find any excuses or reasonable explanation for that person's behaviour. I was dumbfolded. I think I'm screwing up my own life. I'm pissing people off too easily. I'm sorry.. With too many things happening in my life and none of the things are good, I blow up at the slightest thing. I know.. I've gotta keep my emotions and temperament in control but somehow, I jus can't do it. Can't.. Cabbed again to visit Aunt Mic. TTSH....

I'm tired.. Everything is happening at the same time. I can't seem to breathe.. Figuratively. Received a sms from my cousin at 5pm today. Aunt Mic's been hospitalised. Ambulance was called. Rushed off work without finishing my stuff, without helping out. I feel bad. New structured deal today that we haven't seen before and everyone was trying to figure out the deal, yet.. All I did was grab my bag and leave for the hospital. I'll go in to office early tomorrow to sort it out, clear up as much as I can and take a half day off work to go hospital. My maternal gramp passed away yesterday. Supposed to attend the wake tonite. Ended up.. I didn't go. Think I'll go tomorrow nite instead. But seriously, I'm not close to him or to anyone on my mum's side much as I love my mum to bits. But ever since mum passed away, they've never contacted me. I was only 8 then so there was no way I could have contacted them. All these years, I don't even know how the...