When I Dream~

Happy Bday to myself!!

Met Khim for dinner tonite and he brought me to PS Cafe at Dempsey. Another nice dinner with nice ambience and atmosphere. :) We sat outdoors, ordered a salad to share and a main each. I had bacon wrapped tenderloin while he had beef, mushroom and bacon ragout which was kinda like stew. Loved my main dish but was so full from just having the salad. We opened a bottle of Moscato as well. Love Moscato! Sweet white wine. Yummy! Opened my present while on the way to Esplanade after dinner for a walk and to sit by the river. It's a DKNY watch! Thanx Khim! Whole area's blocked up which was kinda ugly. :( Not much of a view then. Sighz.. Was still coughing badly so didn't stay long. Still considering if I should celebrate my bday at DF tomorrow. Not many people will be going and the entrance fee plus opening the bottles there tomorrow are quite expensive. Plus the fact that I do not know what time I'll be off work due to month end. Sighz.. Should I or should I not cancel? I w...

Came back a while ago.. Had a good Saturday I must say. Slept til past noon, bathed and had lunch with JZ at Lavender (popular pig organ's soup). He, being such a pig, and seeing that we still had half an hour before my salsa class, wanted to go to Lavender Food Square for the famous wanton noodle. My goodness! He sure can eat! Went for salsa which was sooooo fun today! Had to learn a new move and mine was soooo difficult to master. Chris Yeo & Felix were so naughty! They filmed it down on their mobile phone. ARGH! But I must say that I enjoyed it though I was coughing while dancing. Having this super irritating throat. Makes me wanna cough all the time. ARGH!! Visited Dad after 4 days of not going. No choice. Down will illness so better to stay away. Throat was so itchy when I was in his 'room' that I had to force myself not to cough. He seems the same to me. Doc said Dad seems to be doing ok as they expected and he should be able to go to the general ward within these...

On MC today but went out shopping with Bee at about 4+pm and just came home. Haha. Such a naughty girl I am. Haven't met her for more than a week now. Hopefully we will still be able to meet up just as often after she has started work. :) The driver who sends me to work everyday, Mr Lim, was so concerned about me when I called him yesterday telling him that I won't be taking the van. Hehe. He's a very nice man actually. He even asked about my dad. So sweet of him. :p Appreciate it. Oh ya, JZ passed his driving test today. YAY!! Dunno why but my eyes are feeling tired. Hmmz... Think I shall go upload my pics and go sleep early. Tomorrow is back to work and I seriously doubt I can wake up. Haha.

Went back to office in afternoon in the end. Worked til 7pm.. Sighz.. So much for being on MC. But I spent 1 hr talking to Joycelyn and Chris mama at about 3pm. Was very nice to catch up with my ex-boss again. We have always been very close like mother and daughter. She has been very nice to me all this while. Without her, I wouldn't be where I am in this office right now. Which is why I always appreciate her and put her close in my heart. Will never fail to buy her a bigger souvenir than the rest of the people whenever I go overseas. Initially wanted to go back to office if I was feeling better tomorrow but Edmund gor called me while I was on the way home. Told me that Gopi's mum will be coming to Singapore for 3 days from 30 Dec for medical reasons. Sighz.. Which will mean that I might not be able to leave early for my bday coz there will only be me in the office. Sad... :( Nothing I can do.. Can only work faster on that day and make sure I leave on the dot or as early as pos...

I think I must be crazy to be blogging at this hour. Haven't been able to sleep well the whole nite. Went to bed at 8.30pm after taking my medicine (24 hour clinic on a public holiday is expensive! $48 for consultation and $37 for medication!). Just as I was about to sleep, my bro-in-law called, followed by my grand aunt from Hong Kong, an sms from Evans, and another call from my sis!!! My god!! That tortured me til 10+ before I ws freed from all the calls and sms-es. Oh, come to think of it, not yet.. There were 2 delayed sms-es from Xmas Eve coming in at 11+ pm! Stupid mobile servers. Tried to sleep but I've been waking up every half hour.. AGAIN!! Not sure why and I had already turned on the aircon to sleep for the 1st time in years. But yet, I couldn't sleep well. Thought I was better already but I took my temperature just now and it's 38.9 degrees!! AGAIN!! Similar like when I had HFMD. Omigod!! Now I'm really scared. Doc said there might be a chance for me to ...

Such a lousy feeling to have.. To be sick on Xmas Day itself and not be able to go out. Wanna see doc but not sure if the clinic is opened. Sighz... Feeling real bad now. Bodyaches and headache.. Feeling scared. I seriously hope it's not HFMD again. Once is enough. A 2nd time will just kill me. Speaking of which, the other time that I had HFMD, he bought dinner for me all the way from Parkway and when I said it wasn't enough, he went to buy me more. :) But that doesn't mean I wanna suffer thro this again. But I'm feeling the same kind of aches. Oh no! Fever's not that high yet though. Think I'm gonna wash up and take some medication before it gets worse. How I wish I can have someone looking after me now.. Sighz.. It's always when u're sick that u're at the most vulnerable. Can't sleep yet don't wanna move. Aching even when I don't move. Similar symptoms. Really scared now. And I'm hungry... :( I don't wanna fall sick....

Today is a day of mixed feelings. People close to me should know why, but I've said before.. Life has to move on. Anyway, office was like a dead town today. So empty and quiet. Hardly any gift exchanges at all. This office is getting 'colder' and 'colder' as each day goes. Didn't have half day as there were some glitches at work but I managed to leave earlier than the normal 7pm. :) Went to hospital to visit Dad and discovered that he had done his op. Nobody informed us! Sighz.. When I reached, Dad had only been out of the operating theater for an hour or so hence he was still sedated and drowsy. His blood is not clotting that well coz I could see the blood oozing out from his wound. Hurts me to see him like that but I know this is something he has to go thro in order to recover. Nurse told me not to stay around coz Dad won't be awake so soon. Left for dinner at aunt's place. Was at Aunt's place the whole night. Just reached home only. Very very tire...

Friday (21 Dec) Reached office and saw a mail from Adrian, sent to me on Thurs. Saw his blog post this morning as well. All I can say is, thanx! I read ur blog too. :) Hope u r doing ok. Had a very very very busy day. Busy til I totally blocked out everything and just worked non-stop except for a half-hour lunch. Sighz.. Had to control my bladder too! Didn't go toilet from 12pm-7pm. Was that bad. Had to cover 2 other colleagues who were on leave and I had to 2 days worth of work due to the holiday on Thurs. Was in such a state til Edmund gor got worried and kept telling me to relax. By the time I ended work, it was almost 9pm and was way too late to rush to hospital to visit Dad as the nurses don't open the door for us to go in. Sighz... Met Howdy in town as he wanted to buy Xmas gift. Went to Taka basement for dinner. An exciting thing happened while we were there.. A mouse/rat was caught in the trap and jumping around! Several girls were shouting "Ratatouille" and ...

Wanted to update yesterday but only reached home at 2am. Had dinner with Howdy last nite. Wasn't feeling too good coz I think I had indigestion.. AGAIN! Wonder what's wrong with me. I know I ain't feeling that well recently. Been having heart palpitations for 2 days now and my ears can be blocked suddenly for no reason. Think it's just some minor problem coz I've had such symptoms before but was nothing serious. Getting accustomed. :) Anyway, back to last nite. Went to visit Dad at hospital but Dad was sleeping so.. Howdy found out that I wasn't well during dinner and insisted that I get gastric pills but I felt better after we walked around a bit so I refused to buy. We went to K-Box at Toa Payoh for karaoke coz he wanted to de-stress and drink as well. I think this is my 1st time that 2 people are going to KTV. Haha. The aircon was sooooo strong and both of us nearly froze! 1st time I went singing with him and I must say that he sings quite well. :) He was the...

A song that made me cry..

I know I am a grouch today. Tried to stop being one but couldn't. Sighz... Due to the serious lack of sleep the whole week, I can't control my own emotions anymore. ARGH! I don't like myself to be like that. So angry with myself. Anyways, I've always thought that love was 1 of the more important things in my life. I have gradually learnt that it is not. I've al ways loved the poem attached. I still do.. Enjoy it. :)

Today (or should I say yesterday coz it's past midnight) was a hectic day for me. Woke up in the morning and rushed to the hospital for a chance to talk to the docs. Dad's condition is still the same, no change at all. Wonder if it's good news or bad news. Have been hoping for an improvement these few days but I guess I just have to let nature take its course. After chatting with the docs and informing them that I'd be starting work tomorrow (so that they can call me if there's anything urgent), I rushed to the business office to settle Dad's medical bill. Managed to clarify doubts about the paying arrangements and rushed back to Tampines for Felix's farewell lunch with my former department folks. Headed back to office with them to download and clear my mails before I start work tomorrow. Was intending to stay only 15-30 mins. I ended up being there for more than an hour. Sighz... So many mails! Happened that Aunt Margaret was about to leave office as well s...

I know I haven't been in the best of moods recently. And the person to bear the brunt of all my anger was Felix. I must apologise for my sudden outburst of anger. I know you care for me. Just that sometimes I flare up too easily. I'm sorry... Spent the whole day packing Dad's room followed by my own room. Dad's room is more or less done except for some stuff that needs to be put in my room. For that to be done, I need to pack my room. My room is so cluttered with stuff right now, esp since I've brought the TV to my room. The way I arranged the furniture in my room initially is to make it look spacious, but now.. It looks so packed. No choice I guess. But with the TV in my room, you can be sure that I'm hardly out of my room now. Think I'll buy myself a mini kettle and put in my room. Then my room will be even more ideal. :p I have finally managed to pack my wardrobe as well. Yes, at long last, I can see my wardrobe again and I'm not worried about clothes...

This post is to thank 2 very important people who kept me sane on a very boring Saturday. Woke up this morning to pray with Ann, Aunt Mic, Ky and Uncle Charles. If praying can help my dad, I'll pray more. I'll do whatever it takes to get Dad back on the road of recovery. 1st person I must thank today - Alex aka "Xiu Xiu". This JC friend of mine has been extremely encouraging in a lot of ways. He even told another JC friend (CK) to meet up with me today! He puts me in place with the things he say. We have no worries about being direct with each other and simply speaking our minds to each other. I know I have to be less bitter and cynical about life and the people around me. I know I have to let go of such feelings in order to be a better person. I know I should not dwell on the things that people have let me down on. I will let go.. Slowly but surely. Thanx for spending the afternoon with me, fixing my laptop and teaching me so much about my laptop. Most importantly, t...

In the end, I couldn't bring my ass to get moving to the hospital as I felt nauseous from the stupid headache. Glad that I'm feeling ok now. Waiting for my aunt to pick me up from home and go to the hospital together. Not yet cried today. Think as the reality starts to gradually sink in, the tears will stop and it's time to think. What would be the best for my dad and myself as I'm the one who is impacted the most though I have an elder sis? The road to recovery for my dad will be a long one which will take months to at least a year. Hopefully he wakes up fast enough for the journey to begin. I've got to work and nobody will be home to take care of him.. So what's the best solution? My aunts and I have considered hiring a maid or registered nurse but my dad is a big man (aka fat). Can the nurse manage? In the end, we've decided to put my dad in a nursing home (hopefully the same as gram so that it'll be easier for me). I'll visit dad on weekends same...

Having this constant dull ache in my head since Wed morning.. That was.. 2 days ago. Been having it all the way and today seems to be the worst so far. Can't seem to focus or bring myself to move. ARGH! Better get my ass moving to the shower and to the hospital..

I think I look like a total wreck right now. Nose is peeling from being sun-burnt in Sydney by UV rays and not sun, and it looks reddish and blackish at the same time. I'm having some pimple outbreak on my cheeks. I look haggard and tired. Feels like I aged 10 years after 2 days. Sighz.. Still crying on and off. Teared on the MRT on the way to the hospital, teared in the office, cried at the hospital. Thought I would have run out of tears by now but apparently not yet. Dad's bleeding is from the brain stem. It bleed once and further bleeding occurred while he was in hospital. Thank God he was in hospital when it happened a 2nd time and that it is only from 1 side of the brain stem. Apparently, the brain stem is a very critical part of the brain and it is the 1 part that cannot be operated on. His bleeding has stopped but he's still having fever from pneumonia. Can't seem to erase the image of dad in hospital in my mind. It keeps playing itself right in my eyes and mind ...

Yes, I'm back in Singapore after being in Sydney for 3 days, way before scheduled. Wish there can be less drama in my life sometimes. Received a call from my aunt telling me that my dad has been hospitalised in ICU and all I could do was cry in Sydney. Yes, I cried there and then right smack in the middle of the shopping mall. Called the airlines to change my flight to the earliest possible and all they could tell me was that there were no available seats on any of the flights other than the one I booked. Never felt more helpless in my life before. Thank God for an aunt working in the airline company who managed to squeeze me in for a flight back to Singapore today. Reached Singapore at 6pm and went to the hospital immediately. Cried upon seeing my dad and I still can't control my tears now. Much as I always scold him or quarrel with him, I don't like to see him like that now. My dad is still in ICU. He has a stroke due to bleeding in the brain. Cause of bleeding is still u...

Standing at the PC terminals before going to the boarding gates for my flight to Sydney.. Thought of blogging.. As usual. Flight should be leaving in less than an hour. Realised I forgot to bring both my caps, 1 side of my earring is either lost or I forgot to wear it. I'm not sure where that side of my earring is. Hopefully it's at home. Sighz.. If I really dropped it, then it'll be the 2nd time that I drop my earring at an airport. ARGH! Khim came to have breakfast with me though he reached home at 3+am this morning after going to DF. Sweet! Hehe. I ate a tiramisu cake but couldn't finish my coffee. Haha. Cya when I'm back! Saw Adrian online last nite. As expected, we didn't have a chance to meet up before I leave Singapore. He told me last nite that he will be based in Singapore more so we can meet up more often. We'll see. Dad hinted about having a credit card.. Told him I'll apply a supplementary card for him when I'm back but warned him against...

Flying off in another 8 hrs time I think. Just finished packing my luggage.. Except for toiletries coz I'll still be using them later. :p Feeling that I have forgotten to bring something.. Shucks.. Always get this feeling. Hope I brought everything that I need. Quick update coz I'm really tired and I don't have much time left to sleep. Attended Michelle's wedding earlier. Was a simple event but sweet. She looks very very different from office and she looks so happy. Happy for her! Went to Instinct for a short while after the wedding. Didn't feel as close to the people like in the past. Maybe we have all changed. Anto said he hasn't been there much too. Guess we're all just too busy with our lives. K.. My eyes simply refuse to open for another second longer. I seriously lack sleep so I'm gonna hit the sack and wake up early for last minute packing and checking just in case. Nitez all and hopefully I get to use the comp in Sydney. Else, the next blog will ...

Heard from Xiao Di about some stuff today. Don't wanna elaborate but all I wanna say is that the person who has been lying to me is lying to everyone else. Not sure why and I don't care why anymore. None of my problem anyway. Had lunch with Sonny yesterday. 1st time having lunch with him though he's joined our dept for a month now. Never had the chance til yesterday when it was raining n he was crossing the road without an umbrella. He was being interrogated by Rach, Agnes and me. Haha. Poor thing. But he's easy to talk to. :) During lunch today, we were talking about dinner and I have found someone who can have dinner with me! Xiao Di!!! Coz we end work late and by the time he travels home, it's 8+ so he normally eats before going back. Think I can eat with him and Rach before going home. :p Yay! Took half day leave today to change my image. Went to straighten my hair and colour it brown. Think most people haven't seen me with straight hair before coz I have go...

Been meaning to blog but have been so tied up with everything.. Packing my luggage, etc etc. Feeling so sleepy now so gonna make this post a quick one coz I promised to help Matt with his blog as well. Went to Adam Road for prawn noodle with Bee and Felix on Monday nite. While queueing up to buy, I noticed that the guy helping out at the prawn noodle stall looked familiar. Thought of asking him if he was the waiter at DF but he beat me to it. Haha. Yes, he is the same person! I happened to have asked for his age last Thurs when I was at DF and he could recognise me. :) Such a coincidence! Had dinner with Rachel and Felix last nite at the market opposite my house. Both Bee and Rachel have fallen sick. Poor Rachel.. She wanted to eat dinner together but yet was so sick to eat. Sighz.. Felt bad that she had to make herself join us though she was unwell. Glad she's better now. Been some time since I last had dinner with her. Nowadays, it's Bee, Felix and I. At times, Yaya aka Ting ...

Time now is 6.43pm and I have only been awake for 2 hours! Haha. Yupz.. I woke up at 4.45pm today coz I slept at 4.30am this morning. Finally had my 12-hour beauty sleep. Feels so good! :p Had a tiring day yesterday. Woke up early to attend Kelvin's baby shower. Met Chuan & Elwyn there as well. Been 2 months since I last saw them and chatted with them. I miss talking to Chuan the most. He used to sit beside me in office and we would talk about work, our jobs, whether we should change jobs, personal life, etc. He is so easy to talk to despite the age gap, maybe coz he is like a big child. Hehe. Was great catching up with them. :p Headed to Orchard coz Bee wanted to shop initially. Reached town about 4pm and coz I felt a headache coming, I suggested buying coffee before we start. Ended up sitting at Starbucks for an hour resting, chatting and relaxing. Was a nice time. Somehow, although Bee, Felix and I meet up ever so often (1 week about 3-4 times), we never fail to have things ...

Feeling so so sleepy.. Was having tea with Yaya, Bee and Felix at Holland V Coffee Club when Ann called me to say she was at Dragonfly. Didn't wanna go at 1st but seeing that it was her 1st time there, I went to meet her. Met up with Khim, the 2 Desmonds and their friends. Shared table with them. Was quite fun, but short of Yutaki. Haha. Nah.. Just kidding about the Yutaki part. It was quite enjoyable. :) The only bad thing was, I felt so bloated when I went to DF coz of the dinner that I ate. Had a couple of drinks and felt even more bloated. Puked when I came home. Feeling so much better now.. Indigestion.. My goodness! Ending with another quote "Never take for granted every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond because you were too busy collecting stones." K.. I'm so tired.. I need to sleep soon. Nitez!