When I Dream~

Firstly, MERRY CHRISTMAS one and all! Hope everyone had a happy and enjoyable weekend cum Christmas. :) Today is also my 2 years' anniversary with Tom as my boyfriend. Didn't have any special event planned. We had dinner at my aunt's place yesterday and dinner at his grandma's place earlier on tonight. Just came back from his grandma's place. I always feel awkward going there. I see his relatives once a year and I don't talk to them much. Feels weird. Anyway, this Christmas has been pretty normal. Nothing much happening. I enjoyed myself at work on Friday (23/12) coz there was lunch and games for celebration. After that, Tom and I had dinner at his club and I went to Boat Quay for drinks with my colleagues at a place called Sahara. The place was playing Indian music most of the time but it was comfortable as the seats were sofa seats. Some of my colleagues smoked shisha. It's some kind of water pipe but honestly, I don't like it at all. Haha. Definitely ...

Have been wanting to blog about this for a week now but somehow it always slips my mind while I blog. Last Monday (12 Dec), I waited for Tom after work at MacDonald's as I ended at 7pm and he had to finish up his work. I was bored coz I wasn't expecting to wait for him for so long coz we were supposed to meet his parents and sister for dinner to celebrate his bday. I reached MacDonald's and chose an outside table to be nearer the queue for cabs, facing the inside of MacDonald's. Eventually I became bored as I didn't bring my novel to work that day. Started playing one of the handphone games that I downloaded quite a long time ago. Was playing for about half an hour til I got sick of the game. Wanted to rest my eyes as well. Ended the game and simply sat there, looking at people and daydreaming. When I looked up from my handphone, I caught a glance of a little gal smiling at me. Surprised, I looked at the little gal again and saw her looking at me intently. I think I...

Most important thing in today's blog is to say a big CONGRATS to Anne and Irvin. I'm truly happy for the 2 of you. Irvin has finally proposed to one of my dearest gal friend, Anne. Blessings to the 2 of them. Can't wait for their wedding though Sonia and Stanley's wedding should come before that. So far, Justin's wedding is in October next year, followed by Sonia's wedding in November. Finally is Stephen's wedding in December. My goodness.. Next year I'm gonna be broke!! Was really delighted to finally hear the good news. Could see the contentment on Anne's face when she was telling us of how Irvin proposed. It was so sweet. Seeing the 2 happy couples being so in love with each other and tying the knot makes me feel something but I dunno how to describe it. Everybody started asking when it will be my turn. 3 years down the road I guess.. I'm really not sure. I dunno if I'm prepared or ever will be prepared for it. I know myself too well. I...

Didn't manage to upload my pictures yesterday as I went to Chinatown after my grandma's checkup. I'm glad to say that my granny is doing well except for a slightly high blood pressure. I always enjoy sitting there, chatting with her while waiting for my aunt to get the medicine. She never ceases to make me smile, to make me happy with her gibberish. She's like a little child now. Seeing her being so fascinated by the lights on the Christmas tree at the hospital makes me feel sad that she's not staying with me anymore. But seeing her happy makes me happy too. :) After sending her back to the Medicare Centre, Aunt Margaret and I went to Chinatown to find clothes. I need to look for cheongsam or qipao (aka Chinese traditional dresses) for another of my company's D&D whereas my aunt was looking for clothes to buy for New Year and for office. While we were walking around, I realised that it's been a long time since I last went out with my aunt alone. I still ...

First, an update on my Fullerton stay. Wanted to do it together when I upload my pictures but it's been awfully long since I last blogged so.. Just wanted to blog. The pictures will hopefully be up tomorrow since I'm on leave tomorrow and might just have time to do it after I bring grandma for her checkup at the hospital. My stay at Fullerton was close to perfect! The room was gorgeous!! I liked everything about the room, from the closet to the toilet to the bed. Haha. The first moment when we opened the door, our reaction was "WOW". Yeah.. It was that nice. Big THANKS goes out to Yong Ming for upgrading the room for us and all the other arrangements he made! The whole experience there is simply indescribable by words. I had a totally superb and incredible time there. That weekend was truly special to me and it will be something that I'll remember for life. And the answer to all the questions: No, I did not do anything wrong that night. Never will coz it's spe...

I know I'm supposed to be happy and excited right now and I am. But at the same time, I've been thinking about the facades of life and people. Yes, I still can't get over what happened that fateful night which has caused me to lose trust and faith in certain friends. It's going to be a long road to recovery. I've been ignoring the people who lied to me that night. And amazingly, quite a number of people have known about the problem though they are not and should not be involved in any way. It only makes me more wary of everyone coz news spread and tongues wag. It's becoming clearer and clearer to me who I can trust and who I can't. The sense of betrayal is extremely strong. This issue has impacted me quite a bit. Everyday I see the person in my department, the things that this person does and the people whom this person talks about simply reminds me of that night. It's making it more difficult to forget and forgive. I know I have to let go of this but wh...

Ain't exactly in the best of moods right now. After working so hard on Friday night, I was told this morning that contract staff are not supposed to stay in the office til so late. What sort of nonsense is that?!!! My boss once said that there's no difference between contract staff and permanent staff. It's just a way of letting management appraise you better. So, what's the logic behind contract staff not being able to stay late? CRAP! That new big boss of mine deserves to be shot. He's irritating the hell out of everyone. That's how terribly lousy he is. Anyway, enough about that idiot. I bought gifts for Tom's birthday, our anniversary and Christmas as well. Played a little trick on him. I hid the gifts in his room but made him look for them without giving him much clues. Took him quite a while before he managed to find all 3 gifts. :) Glad that he likes them. Makes me happy too. Definitely worth all the time and effort I took to walk, shop and look for t...

Didn't blog last night coz I was too tired. So here I am, blogging now. :) Forgot whether it was Wednesday or Thursday that D asked me why I have got so much to blog. I thought hard about that question and I knew why. I'm someone who likes to wonder about things and ask questions. A simple sentence can set me thinking about associated stuff or similar events that might have happened. But most importanly is that I love to write and express myself. I actually have a personal diary which has my darkest secrets and I only write in it when I have thoughts that I don't want to share with others. :p Was looking through my sms-es on Firday morning and saw a message from Diana last year wishing me a Happy Birthday and a pleasant 2005 ahead. That made me think back on things that have happened throughout the year. Here goes: 2005 marks the year where I started working as a permanent staff. The first day of work at the audit company was horrible. I reported for work at 9am sharp and w...

Guess what.. I'm still in the office!! Yes, I'm blogging this in the office at 11.40pm Singapore time. I must be insane. I'm the only person left on my floor of the building. Haha. How exciting! Ya right.. Sighz.. Finally finished my work. Tom's on the way to pick me up now. Gotta go. Will blog if I still have the energy later. Crazy me...

From the title of my blog, it can be seen that I have changed the date for my stay at Fullerton. Yes, I've sent them an email telling them to change the date to 10th December instead. Now I can only hope that they have rooms on that day. Nothing much to blog about actually. Have been busy and hectic at work that I'm leaving office at about 8pm every night with work still undone. No choice. Can't seem to finish. Sighz.. Still suffering from weird sleeping situations. I've been waking at 4am. These 2 days are slightly better. Woke up at 6am yesterday and when I finally managed to fall asleep again, I dreamt that I was running 2.4km for NAFA test. You can imagine how tired I was when I woke up. Today, I woke up at 5.30am and I started sneezing continuously more than 10 times again. Sighz.. Couldn't sleep after that. Something's wrong with my body system somehow. This always happens to me from time to time but it's definitely taking its toll on me. I'm looki...

Received a sms from Sonia today informing me of a Xmas gathering on 17th Dec. It's the exact same day that I'll be checking into Fullerton for my 1 night stay with Tom. Was a bit disappointed at not being able to join the gathering as it has been a while sinceall of us caught up with one another and I'll love to meet everyone. Tom didn't seem to be in a good mood today so I didn't dare to say much except to tell him that I had just been informed of the gathering. Knocked off work late due to some last minute stuff to handle. Everything that's happening this week is kinda in a rush as my boss is going on leave and things that need her approval has to be settled by this week. I've got lots of stuff that needs her approval so I've been rushing around like a mad woman. Screw ups in systems have also become an issue and I keep being harrassed by everyone though it's not my fault. Sighz.. Anyway, Tom had to wait for me to knock off work in the end. When I ...

I'm suffering from insomnia! Haven't slept properly for the whole of last week. It sucks. No matter how tired I am physically and mentally, I just can't seem to fall asleep. Wonder what's the cause of this. Everybody keeps asking me if it's work stress but I doubt so. Haven't had much stress from work and I've not been working late recently. It's causing me to heaty and pimples are breaking out. Sighz.. I'm blogging this in the office. It's still considered lunch time anyway. I went for lunch at 12.50pm and came back at 1.20pm. Amazing record time. I finished my plate of chicken rice in 8 minutes. The last time I ate this fast was when I was still in JC, gobbling down my food to prepare for Orientation. Haha. So long ago.. Edmund, my big bro in office, just offered me chocolate cookie and dessert. He's very sweet. A very very nice guy. Glad to have him as my bro coz he always looks out for me and takes care of me. :) Work today is ok. Slightl...

I've decided to start counting down the number of days to my stay at the Fullerton with Tom. We're both very excited about it and we wanna take lots of pics that day with the new digicam. Hope everything turns out well~! It's another 20 more days. Can't wait! My damn laptop is giving me problems again. I can't check my emails nor use my MSN. The dumb anti-virus can't load which is causing me all these problems. I've tried uninstalling it but it refuses to be removed from my laptop. It's simply pissing me off. Need help with my dumb laptop but I've got a good mind to sell this away and get another one or maybe a desktop instead. This laptop has simply given me too much trouble. Need to seriously consider what I have to do. Ken from CPB asked me one question today. He asked I was at Tom's place today. I was shocked. It really came as a surprise to me coz I've never told him who my bf is. I didn't admit neither did I deny. I merely asked him...

Haven't had much time to blog daily again. Been busy at work due to year-end and the fact that my boss will be going on her 3 weeks' leave soon. I've got to settle everything that needs her approval before she enjoys herself. We had a company event last night for most of the CIB people. I finally got to see some of the people that I've been liasing with but never had the chance to see how they look. I must say that most of them look very different from what I imagine through the sounds of their voices over the phone. For all of us at TJ, we were supposed to dress up as J-pop or K-pop. Not many of them dressed up though. I wore a tank top, mini denim skirt, high boots and a cap (Will post the pic up later as I haven't gotten the pics yet). Had to rush down to city plaza to buy the cap and boots. Must thank D for rushing me there and back to office to buy. Without her help, I wouldn't have won the Best Dressed Award for the genre of J-pop/K-pop. I liked what I wor...

It's been a long time since I last caught up with Anne. The last time was the dinner that we had our gathering at IndoChine. Decided to email her to catch up. Talked about friends from SIM, people we've caught up with recently and people from office, and the topic of marriage. More on marriage later but I realised that people in my office are truly genuine and care for others even though they have joined other companies. Many of them still ask me about Anne and how she is doing which goes to show how fantastic these people are. Back to the topic, we talked about marriage. Why? Coz many of our common friends are either engaged, have gotten flats with their partners or are intending to get married by next year. I remember there was this period when we were still studying where almost everybody we knew were breaking up. Some of us even called it the 'breaking up' season. If my memory doesn't fail me, I think it was sometime in Oct or Nov but I can't remember the ex...

I've decided to change my attitude towards my dad. I'll be more patient, more tolerant and more understanding towards him. I'll do my very best to be a better daughter though I don't feel that I've been all that bad. I'll keep reminding myself to be better to him. I'll try my hardest. :)

Everytime after I treat my dad somewhat badly or my attitude to him is bad, I ask myself this question, "Have I been too much?" I always feel terrible inside when I talk to him rudely or when I know I had been mean to him. Somehow, it always ends up that way. I can't seem to talk to him properly without our conversation ending on a bad note. Most times, I get irritated by him easily. I admit that I'm not a person with much patience and I hate it when he keeps repeating what he says or that he's told someone else to convey the message to me and yet calls me to repeat the same message again. Yes, I hate that lots. My patience level with him is as good as zilch. Most times, the things he says really gets on my nerves. I always hear complains about the tenant, about money. Yes, money.. I hate it when he opens his mouth and tells me that he doesn't have money and that sort of crap. You earn your own keep and if you refuse to save and just keep spending, there's...

I'm seriously thinking of getting a digicam to take pics with. It's something that I've wanted to get for some time now. Guess it's time I put it into action. Will start looking around for something good. Anyway, uploaded the pics that Stef put on the web for our Thailand trip. I finally got down to saving them into my laptop. Enjoy the pics and thanx to Stef and Anne for taking so many pics! Friday was tiring as I worked til 10.30pm to finish all my work. All coz of the fact that I'm on leave on Monday. Everybody wants their stuff before I go on my 1 day leave and I had to rush everything for them. Sighz.. By the time I finished work, I didn't know if i should eat or sleep as I was both tired and hungry. Took a cab to Tom's place and munched on potato chips before heading straight for the bed. Slept soundly til 3am before he sent me home. Headed to Suntec on Saturday for a walk with Tom as we were clueless on what to do for the day. Walked at Carrefour but ...

Wanted to blog last night but was too tired. Internet in the office is up again! YAY!!!! Blogging in the office now actually. Got to make this a short entry. The place I'm sitting at now is not tht secure for doing this. Hehe. Everything between Tom and I are ok on Wednesday night itself. He's really wonderful to even try to cheer me up again. He's a great guy, I know. Will do my very best to not make him upset or angry with me again. Dearest D, everything's fine. Don't think so much k? U're still a great friend to me and I love you for that. Thanks for all the good and fun times together. :) K.. Gotta work. Don't want my boss to see me blogging during office hour. :p

Thunderstorm's brewing outside while I'm sitting here, alone in Tom's house, blogging away with my can of Lime Coke that I jus bought, enjoying the aircon and mp3s, deciding if I should my KitKat Chunky with Caramel. The kind of life that I like. Thought of going to a cafe to read my book with an ice blended coffee, watching the day pass by but the thunderstorm prevented all that from happening. No worries, I've still got 3 more days of leave to clear. Hopefully I get to do that on 1 of the days that I'm on leave. Would really love to do that. Something that I've always wanted. Anyway, I came to my dear's place early in the morning (Woke up the same time that I'll wake up to go work!). It's insane, yes I know. Why would anyone want to wake up that early in the morning just to go to their bf's house when nobody's there either. Well, I don't want to stay at home and be bombarded with questions from my dad about my taking leave and he'll...

Had a long discussion with Tom last night after dinner on what we should do for our 3 days of leave from 16 to 19 Dec. We had been thinking of going for a weekend getaway for some time coz I really wanna go some place alone, just the 2 of us. Checked out the website for weather of Phuket in Dec and found that it's sunny with not much rain. Good! Proceeded to check hotels and resorts that looked nice and were affordable. Took us an hour finding what we wanted. Found it at long last! Proceeded to check out airlines and while registering for the flight, the website prompted us for expiry dates of our passport. As I didn't have my passport with me at the moment, Tom decided to send me home first and we could continue with the registration over the phone. On the way home, I told him about the deal that I saw on the website of One Fullerton. There's a weekend promotion going on and it looks real nice. I was very tempted by it and felt that it was worth a try. We decided to think ...

It's been a boring Sunday so far. I'm at home, with nothing to do. Been thinking about getting my driver license. Maybe it's time I put the thoughts into action. I yearn for the day when I've got a car of my own, driving alone in the night to wherever I want when I'm unhappy. Feeling the cold breeze, listening to a nice CD and jus driving aimlessly. I love nothing more than freedom, the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want. When will that come true? Read Stef's blog a while ago. Jean told me about it. Not sure if Stef is ok with me reading it and adding the link to my blog. Will ask her about it when I see her online. Stef, if it's not ok, jus let me know and I'll remove the link k? Realised that everybody puts on a front. Everyone of us has a facade coz there are things that we do not want people to know. When we were drinking at Club Momo once, Ken said this to me, "You don't understand what we (he and some others) are going through ...

Finally, our office move is completed. It's been postponed ever since I joined the company in May and I heard that this topic has been up since March. Haha. Shows the efficiency of our company in handling such things. Anyway, I'm real glad that it's over and done with coz it was really tiring for me. In my whole dept, everyone had to pack and most of them had only half a box to 1 box of things. For me, it was 4 big boxes! The worst part, I had to pack them all by myself and unpack, all in a day's work! Suffering from muscle ache now. Sighz.. The office space was designed by Yating and I, and we won the award for it. Somehow, it wasn't what we expected due to the limited office space that we have - All thanks to cutting cost. Everybody was complaining but space restriction and that we can't see each other even after standing up. It's not our fault! There are so many needs that we have to cut down on everybody's wants while designing the plan. The whole ar...

Last night was the very first time that I actually cooked dinner for anyone. Have been in the mood to cook for Tom this week. I must admit I'm not someone who can cook or likes to cook. I'm more the kind of person who prefers to bake cakes or make desserts. That's why it was pretty amusing to myself that I actually had the urge to cook. For the whole time that I was with Tom (almost 2 years now), it has always been him or his mum cooking dinner for me. The only thing that I've cooked for him is only instant noodles, and everyone knows how to do that. I've watched him cook for me a few times, especially recently, hence I decided to try. Told him that he was not supposed to help at all except when I ask him questions. Hehe. Once we reached his place, I proceeded to the kitchen to start cooking. The dinner was: Spaghetti and soup. Yes, it's the simplest Western food to cook and the only thing that I know how to cook after watching him so many times. I allowed him t...

realised that i'm blogging lesser and lesser nowadays. my life has been so monotonous that i feel so dead. sighz.. everyday, it's just about work and going home. what is this?? this will be an update on my life since my thailand trip. :) met up with stef, eevon, jean, dilun, irvin and anne on 29 Oct. it's the same day that i had my hair rebonded. hehe. sat there for 4 hours jus to get it straight. i've got terribly stubborn hair, probably the same as my character. found out about my stubbornness when i was still in primary school. not something that i'm proud of, but definitely something that's very hard for me to change. anyway, when all of them saw me, they were shocked coz my hair was really straight and flat. everybody started saying it was too straight and i rebutted by saying that anne and stef were complaining about my hair being so wavy n stuff like that in thailand. haha. we had dinner at indochines, a restaurant called madame butterfly. the place was r...

i'm back!! from hot n sunny bangkok, thailand. overall, i had lots of fun n lots of walking too. Day 1 (18/10) flight was at 8.35am which meant that we had to reach the airport by 6.35am. i had to wake up at 5am jus to bathe n get ready. gave anne a morning call n checked on stef to see if she managed to wake up. stef was leaving her house by then! my god!! she sure woke up early. met at the airport n blur stef went to terminal 2 instead of terminal 1. luckily i called her, else goodness knows how long she'll be there for. her bf, ron, came with her n it was the 1st time i met him. he's quite an ok guy.. can joke around with which was good. at least he's not the quiet quiet kind. anne reached at about 7 odd but it was ok coz we weren't able to check in yet anyway. after settling the checking in stuff, we went to get coffee. seeing ron there made me kinda sad as tom wasn't around by my side n sending me off. :( anyway, it was time for us to leave n we chatted all...

everything's set for my trip tomorrow except for the fact that i have yet to pack. yes, i'm leaving for the airport at 6am tomorrow morning n here i am, still feeling lazy to pack n i've to head back to the office in a while! god!! i'm real lazy. hope i remember to bring everything that i need or i'm screwed! finally on leave n i don't have to be back in the office for 6 working days. it feels good to know that fact. trust me. after i'm back from my hols, i will no longer be doing what i'm doing now. it will be back to the days of doing admin stuff.. which i don't really enjoy n fancy but have got no choice. boss told me to wait til end of this year when she'll look at the portfolios n maybe rotate or change amongst ourselves. i've got another 2 whole months of doing admin stuff again. gets pretty upsetting but that's life i guess. will jus have to wait and see what happens. so for the next 2 months, life will be easy for me again. i'...

i was watching a hong kong drama recently and the topic of euthanasia came up. it reminded me of the time when i just went into jc. the very 1st GP essay that i had to write was about euthanasia. did quite a lot of research just to write that essay. euthanasia is the intentional killing by act or omission of a dependent human being for his or her alleged benefit. i think voluntary euthanasia is the most talked about topic. it's actually when the person who is killed has requested to be killed. why do people request to be killed then? most of the time, it is because they are suffering from a terminal illness/disease. a few reasons why these people have requested for euthanasia to be performed: (1) they do not want to suffer anymore (2) they do not want to be a burden to anyone, especially their family (3) they are also suffering from clinical depression so, should euthanasia be legalised? it's actually quite contradicting. we are always talking about human rights. we have the ri...

have been talking to my vendor on the phone a lot. her name's doreen n i consider her as a friend more than a vendor. she's a very nice lady n is always buying me dinners and stuff. we were on the phone today n she told me some stuff about myself. according to her, i am someone who is observant, who is ambitious and has high expectations of herself n the people around her. she also said that i'm an efficient and independent worker who takes the initiative to do things and that i am able to handle my work well unlike most graduates that she know. i'm also eloquent and am able to write well, according to her. she even told me that my boss has complimented me in front of her, saying that i can work without supervision which is why i do not need to report to my supervisor at all but report to her directly. never been praised so much before. haha. never knew i was so capable in my work. doreen told me that i shouldn't be doing operations but should do the business sector...

i gotta rush this entry coz i'm gonna watch football n it's starting! hehe. wanna write this down n get it off my chest coz i think that some people work in a very unprofessional way. some problems occurred at work recently. i am the person handling the outsourcing of printing customer statements daily n last month end, certain customer statements were printed and mailed out that shouldn't have been printed in the 1st place. these customers do not belong to the corporate side but belong to private banking side, which means their statements shouldn't even have gotten into my file! so, somehow or other, these damned statements got printed n these lousy dumbass customers started complaining to the customer service centre. n of coz, people start questioning why this happened. therefore, people started coming to me n questioning me. on the surface, they are trying to find the cause of the problem, but IN ACTUAL FACT, THEY ARE TRYING TO POINT FINGERS AT THE PERSON WHO'S I...

i'm a happy gal today!! finally considered to have fully recovered from whatever caused me to be hospitalised after my checkup with the gynae. yay!!! no more going back for checkups!!! the cyst did not grow or maybe it became smaller.. not sure about that but whatever it is, i'm ok now n that's what matters most! :) anne's last day at work is tomorrow.. she's the 3rd person that i'll be attending farewell sessions for. 3 good friends have left us for greener pastures n 1 has transferred to another place. sighz.. the only thing that i'm thankful about is that there are still a few of the people that i'm close to who are still here. but i know some are also intending to leave.. if they can find their greener pastures. sighz.. happy for them but sad for myself. but i'll definitely wish them all the best of luck~! been trying to plan the bangkok trip but it's certainly not an easy task coz dearest ali is missing! ali~ where are you?? need you to conf...

been thinking of going for a holiday for some time now. have been wanting to go to either bali, bangkok or hong kong. have been asking my dear bf if he wants to go on a trip with me but the answer that i always get is 'depends on whether i've found a permanent job by then'. i don't feel like waiting anymore. i'm planning a trip.. n now, it's gonna be a group trip. talked to ali thro msn messenger and we were talking about going on a trip end of the year. we actually wanted to go to bali but it's gonna be monsoon period during then so bangkok came to mind. it's gonna be tentatively on the 3rd week of october. hopefully can make it into a group gathering. of coz, the biggest hope will be that dear ali can make it there with us. bet everybody will want that to happen! ali, try ur best n not disappoint us k? :) will start organising that tomorrow afternoon when i'm more free at work. still have to organise anne's farewell dinner with our section and ...