When I Dream~

Happy Bday to myself!!

Met Khim for dinner tonite and he brought me to PS Cafe at Dempsey. Another nice dinner with nice ambience and atmosphere. :) We sat outdoors, ordered a salad to share and a main each. I had bacon wrapped tenderloin while he had beef, mushroom and bacon ragout which was kinda like stew. Loved my main dish but was so full from just having the salad. We opened a bottle of Moscato as well. Love Moscato! Sweet white wine. Yummy! Opened my present while on the way to Esplanade after dinner for a walk and to sit by the river. It's a DKNY watch! Thanx Khim! Whole area's blocked up which was kinda ugly. :( Not much of a view then. Sighz.. Was still coughing badly so didn't stay long. Still considering if I should celebrate my bday at DF tomorrow. Not many people will be going and the entrance fee plus opening the bottles there tomorrow are quite expensive. Plus the fact that I do not know what time I'll be off work due to month end. Sighz.. Should I or should I not cancel? I w

Came back a while ago.. Had a good Saturday I must say. Slept til past noon, bathed and had lunch with JZ at Lavender (popular pig organ's soup). He, being such a pig, and seeing that we still had half an hour before my salsa class, wanted to go to Lavender Food Square for the famous wanton noodle. My goodness! He sure can eat! Went for salsa which was sooooo fun today! Had to learn a new move and mine was soooo difficult to master. Chris Yeo & Felix were so naughty! They filmed it down on their mobile phone. ARGH! But I must say that I enjoyed it though I was coughing while dancing. Having this super irritating throat. Makes me wanna cough all the time. ARGH!! Visited Dad after 4 days of not going. No choice. Down will illness so better to stay away. Throat was so itchy when I was in his 'room' that I had to force myself not to cough. He seems the same to me. Doc said Dad seems to be doing ok as they expected and he should be able to go to the general ward within these

On MC today but went out shopping with Bee at about 4+pm and just came home. Haha. Such a naughty girl I am. Haven't met her for more than a week now. Hopefully we will still be able to meet up just as often after she has started work. :) The driver who sends me to work everyday, Mr Lim, was so concerned about me when I called him yesterday telling him that I won't be taking the van. Hehe. He's a very nice man actually. He even asked about my dad. So sweet of him. :p Appreciate it. Oh ya, JZ passed his driving test today. YAY!! Dunno why but my eyes are feeling tired. Hmmz... Think I shall go upload my pics and go sleep early. Tomorrow is back to work and I seriously doubt I can wake up. Haha.

Went back to office in afternoon in the end. Worked til 7pm.. Sighz.. So much for being on MC. But I spent 1 hr talking to Joycelyn and Chris mama at about 3pm. Was very nice to catch up with my ex-boss again. We have always been very close like mother and daughter. She has been very nice to me all this while. Without her, I wouldn't be where I am in this office right now. Which is why I always appreciate her and put her close in my heart. Will never fail to buy her a bigger souvenir than the rest of the people whenever I go overseas. Initially wanted to go back to office if I was feeling better tomorrow but Edmund gor called me while I was on the way home. Told me that Gopi's mum will be coming to Singapore for 3 days from 30 Dec for medical reasons. Sighz.. Which will mean that I might not be able to leave early for my bday coz there will only be me in the office. Sad... :( Nothing I can do.. Can only work faster on that day and make sure I leave on the dot or as early as pos

I think I must be crazy to be blogging at this hour. Haven't been able to sleep well the whole nite. Went to bed at 8.30pm after taking my medicine (24 hour clinic on a public holiday is expensive! $48 for consultation and $37 for medication!). Just as I was about to sleep, my bro-in-law called, followed by my grand aunt from Hong Kong, an sms from Evans, and another call from my sis!!! My god!! That tortured me til 10+ before I ws freed from all the calls and sms-es. Oh, come to think of it, not yet.. There were 2 delayed sms-es from Xmas Eve coming in at 11+ pm! Stupid mobile servers. Tried to sleep but I've been waking up every half hour.. AGAIN!! Not sure why and I had already turned on the aircon to sleep for the 1st time in years. But yet, I couldn't sleep well. Thought I was better already but I took my temperature just now and it's 38.9 degrees!! AGAIN!! Similar like when I had HFMD. Omigod!! Now I'm really scared. Doc said there might be a chance for me to

Such a lousy feeling to have.. To be sick on Xmas Day itself and not be able to go out. Wanna see doc but not sure if the clinic is opened. Sighz... Feeling real bad now. Bodyaches and headache.. Feeling scared. I seriously hope it's not HFMD again. Once is enough. A 2nd time will just kill me. Speaking of which, the other time that I had HFMD, he bought dinner for me all the way from Parkway and when I said it wasn't enough, he went to buy me more. :) But that doesn't mean I wanna suffer thro this again. But I'm feeling the same kind of aches. Oh no! Fever's not that high yet though. Think I'm gonna wash up and take some medication before it gets worse. How I wish I can have someone looking after me now.. Sighz.. It's always when u're sick that u're at the most vulnerable. Can't sleep yet don't wanna move. Aching even when I don't move. Similar symptoms. Really scared now. And I'm hungry... :( I don't wanna fall sick....

Today is a day of mixed feelings. People close to me should know why, but I've said before.. Life has to move on. Anyway, office was like a dead town today. So empty and quiet. Hardly any gift exchanges at all. This office is getting 'colder' and 'colder' as each day goes. Didn't have half day as there were some glitches at work but I managed to leave earlier than the normal 7pm. :) Went to hospital to visit Dad and discovered that he had done his op. Nobody informed us! Sighz.. When I reached, Dad had only been out of the operating theater for an hour or so hence he was still sedated and drowsy. His blood is not clotting that well coz I could see the blood oozing out from his wound. Hurts me to see him like that but I know this is something he has to go thro in order to recover. Nurse told me not to stay around coz Dad won't be awake so soon. Left for dinner at aunt's place. Was at Aunt's place the whole night. Just reached home only. Very very tire

Friday (21 Dec) Reached office and saw a mail from Adrian, sent to me on Thurs. Saw his blog post this morning as well. All I can say is, thanx! I read ur blog too. :) Hope u r doing ok. Had a very very very busy day. Busy til I totally blocked out everything and just worked non-stop except for a half-hour lunch. Sighz.. Had to control my bladder too! Didn't go toilet from 12pm-7pm. Was that bad. Had to cover 2 other colleagues who were on leave and I had to 2 days worth of work due to the holiday on Thurs. Was in such a state til Edmund gor got worried and kept telling me to relax. By the time I ended work, it was almost 9pm and was way too late to rush to hospital to visit Dad as the nurses don't open the door for us to go in. Sighz... Met Howdy in town as he wanted to buy Xmas gift. Went to Taka basement for dinner. An exciting thing happened while we were there.. A mouse/rat was caught in the trap and jumping around! Several girls were shouting "Ratatouille" and

Wanted to update yesterday but only reached home at 2am. Had dinner with Howdy last nite. Wasn't feeling too good coz I think I had indigestion.. AGAIN! Wonder what's wrong with me. I know I ain't feeling that well recently. Been having heart palpitations for 2 days now and my ears can be blocked suddenly for no reason. Think it's just some minor problem coz I've had such symptoms before but was nothing serious. Getting accustomed. :) Anyway, back to last nite. Went to visit Dad at hospital but Dad was sleeping so.. Howdy found out that I wasn't well during dinner and insisted that I get gastric pills but I felt better after we walked around a bit so I refused to buy. We went to K-Box at Toa Payoh for karaoke coz he wanted to de-stress and drink as well. I think this is my 1st time that 2 people are going to KTV. Haha. The aircon was sooooo strong and both of us nearly froze! 1st time I went singing with him and I must say that he sings quite well. :) He was the

A song that made me cry..

I know I am a grouch today. Tried to stop being one but couldn't. Sighz... Due to the serious lack of sleep the whole week, I can't control my own emotions anymore. ARGH! I don't like myself to be like that. So angry with myself. Anyways, I've always thought that love was 1 of the more important things in my life. I have gradually learnt that it is not. I've al ways loved the poem attached. I still do.. Enjoy it. :)

Today (or should I say yesterday coz it's past midnight) was a hectic day for me. Woke up in the morning and rushed to the hospital for a chance to talk to the docs. Dad's condition is still the same, no change at all. Wonder if it's good news or bad news. Have been hoping for an improvement these few days but I guess I just have to let nature take its course. After chatting with the docs and informing them that I'd be starting work tomorrow (so that they can call me if there's anything urgent), I rushed to the business office to settle Dad's medical bill. Managed to clarify doubts about the paying arrangements and rushed back to Tampines for Felix's farewell lunch with my former department folks. Headed back to office with them to download and clear my mails before I start work tomorrow. Was intending to stay only 15-30 mins. I ended up being there for more than an hour. Sighz... So many mails! Happened that Aunt Margaret was about to leave office as well s

I know I haven't been in the best of moods recently. And the person to bear the brunt of all my anger was Felix. I must apologise for my sudden outburst of anger. I know you care for me. Just that sometimes I flare up too easily. I'm sorry... Spent the whole day packing Dad's room followed by my own room. Dad's room is more or less done except for some stuff that needs to be put in my room. For that to be done, I need to pack my room. My room is so cluttered with stuff right now, esp since I've brought the TV to my room. The way I arranged the furniture in my room initially is to make it look spacious, but now.. It looks so packed. No choice I guess. But with the TV in my room, you can be sure that I'm hardly out of my room now. Think I'll buy myself a mini kettle and put in my room. Then my room will be even more ideal. :p I have finally managed to pack my wardrobe as well. Yes, at long last, I can see my wardrobe again and I'm not worried about clothes

This post is to thank 2 very important people who kept me sane on a very boring Saturday. Woke up this morning to pray with Ann, Aunt Mic, Ky and Uncle Charles. If praying can help my dad, I'll pray more. I'll do whatever it takes to get Dad back on the road of recovery. 1st person I must thank today - Alex aka "Xiu Xiu". This JC friend of mine has been extremely encouraging in a lot of ways. He even told another JC friend (CK) to meet up with me today! He puts me in place with the things he say. We have no worries about being direct with each other and simply speaking our minds to each other. I know I have to be less bitter and cynical about life and the people around me. I know I have to let go of such feelings in order to be a better person. I know I should not dwell on the things that people have let me down on. I will let go.. Slowly but surely. Thanx for spending the afternoon with me, fixing my laptop and teaching me so much about my laptop. Most importantly, t

In the end, I couldn't bring my ass to get moving to the hospital as I felt nauseous from the stupid headache. Glad that I'm feeling ok now. Waiting for my aunt to pick me up from home and go to the hospital together. Not yet cried today. Think as the reality starts to gradually sink in, the tears will stop and it's time to think. What would be the best for my dad and myself as I'm the one who is impacted the most though I have an elder sis? The road to recovery for my dad will be a long one which will take months to at least a year. Hopefully he wakes up fast enough for the journey to begin. I've got to work and nobody will be home to take care of him.. So what's the best solution? My aunts and I have considered hiring a maid or registered nurse but my dad is a big man (aka fat). Can the nurse manage? In the end, we've decided to put my dad in a nursing home (hopefully the same as gram so that it'll be easier for me). I'll visit dad on weekends same

Having this constant dull ache in my head since Wed morning.. That was.. 2 days ago. Been having it all the way and today seems to be the worst so far. Can't seem to focus or bring myself to move. ARGH! Better get my ass moving to the shower and to the hospital..

I think I look like a total wreck right now. Nose is peeling from being sun-burnt in Sydney by UV rays and not sun, and it looks reddish and blackish at the same time. I'm having some pimple outbreak on my cheeks. I look haggard and tired. Feels like I aged 10 years after 2 days. Sighz.. Still crying on and off. Teared on the MRT on the way to the hospital, teared in the office, cried at the hospital. Thought I would have run out of tears by now but apparently not yet. Dad's bleeding is from the brain stem. It bleed once and further bleeding occurred while he was in hospital. Thank God he was in hospital when it happened a 2nd time and that it is only from 1 side of the brain stem. Apparently, the brain stem is a very critical part of the brain and it is the 1 part that cannot be operated on. His bleeding has stopped but he's still having fever from pneumonia. Can't seem to erase the image of dad in hospital in my mind. It keeps playing itself right in my eyes and mind

Yes, I'm back in Singapore after being in Sydney for 3 days, way before scheduled. Wish there can be less drama in my life sometimes. Received a call from my aunt telling me that my dad has been hospitalised in ICU and all I could do was cry in Sydney. Yes, I cried there and then right smack in the middle of the shopping mall. Called the airlines to change my flight to the earliest possible and all they could tell me was that there were no available seats on any of the flights other than the one I booked. Never felt more helpless in my life before. Thank God for an aunt working in the airline company who managed to squeeze me in for a flight back to Singapore today. Reached Singapore at 6pm and went to the hospital immediately. Cried upon seeing my dad and I still can't control my tears now. Much as I always scold him or quarrel with him, I don't like to see him like that now. My dad is still in ICU. He has a stroke due to bleeding in the brain. Cause of bleeding is still u

Standing at the PC terminals before going to the boarding gates for my flight to Sydney.. Thought of blogging.. As usual. Flight should be leaving in less than an hour. Realised I forgot to bring both my caps, 1 side of my earring is either lost or I forgot to wear it. I'm not sure where that side of my earring is. Hopefully it's at home. Sighz.. If I really dropped it, then it'll be the 2nd time that I drop my earring at an airport. ARGH! Khim came to have breakfast with me though he reached home at 3+am this morning after going to DF. Sweet! Hehe. I ate a tiramisu cake but couldn't finish my coffee. Haha. Cya when I'm back! Saw Adrian online last nite. As expected, we didn't have a chance to meet up before I leave Singapore. He told me last nite that he will be based in Singapore more so we can meet up more often. We'll see. Dad hinted about having a credit card.. Told him I'll apply a supplementary card for him when I'm back but warned him against

Flying off in another 8 hrs time I think. Just finished packing my luggage.. Except for toiletries coz I'll still be using them later. :p Feeling that I have forgotten to bring something.. Shucks.. Always get this feeling. Hope I brought everything that I need. Quick update coz I'm really tired and I don't have much time left to sleep. Attended Michelle's wedding earlier. Was a simple event but sweet. She looks very very different from office and she looks so happy. Happy for her! Went to Instinct for a short while after the wedding. Didn't feel as close to the people like in the past. Maybe we have all changed. Anto said he hasn't been there much too. Guess we're all just too busy with our lives. K.. My eyes simply refuse to open for another second longer. I seriously lack sleep so I'm gonna hit the sack and wake up early for last minute packing and checking just in case. Nitez all and hopefully I get to use the comp in Sydney. Else, the next blog will

Heard from Xiao Di about some stuff today. Don't wanna elaborate but all I wanna say is that the person who has been lying to me is lying to everyone else. Not sure why and I don't care why anymore. None of my problem anyway. Had lunch with Sonny yesterday. 1st time having lunch with him though he's joined our dept for a month now. Never had the chance til yesterday when it was raining n he was crossing the road without an umbrella. He was being interrogated by Rach, Agnes and me. Haha. Poor thing. But he's easy to talk to. :) During lunch today, we were talking about dinner and I have found someone who can have dinner with me! Xiao Di!!! Coz we end work late and by the time he travels home, it's 8+ so he normally eats before going back. Think I can eat with him and Rach before going home. :p Yay! Took half day leave today to change my image. Went to straighten my hair and colour it brown. Think most people haven't seen me with straight hair before coz I have go

Been meaning to blog but have been so tied up with everything.. Packing my luggage, etc etc. Feeling so sleepy now so gonna make this post a quick one coz I promised to help Matt with his blog as well. Went to Adam Road for prawn noodle with Bee and Felix on Monday nite. While queueing up to buy, I noticed that the guy helping out at the prawn noodle stall looked familiar. Thought of asking him if he was the waiter at DF but he beat me to it. Haha. Yes, he is the same person! I happened to have asked for his age last Thurs when I was at DF and he could recognise me. :) Such a coincidence! Had dinner with Rachel and Felix last nite at the market opposite my house. Both Bee and Rachel have fallen sick. Poor Rachel.. She wanted to eat dinner together but yet was so sick to eat. Sighz.. Felt bad that she had to make herself join us though she was unwell. Glad she's better now. Been some time since I last had dinner with her. Nowadays, it's Bee, Felix and I. At times, Yaya aka Ting

Time now is 6.43pm and I have only been awake for 2 hours! Haha. Yupz.. I woke up at 4.45pm today coz I slept at 4.30am this morning. Finally had my 12-hour beauty sleep. Feels so good! :p Had a tiring day yesterday. Woke up early to attend Kelvin's baby shower. Met Chuan & Elwyn there as well. Been 2 months since I last saw them and chatted with them. I miss talking to Chuan the most. He used to sit beside me in office and we would talk about work, our jobs, whether we should change jobs, personal life, etc. He is so easy to talk to despite the age gap, maybe coz he is like a big child. Hehe. Was great catching up with them. :p Headed to Orchard coz Bee wanted to shop initially. Reached town about 4pm and coz I felt a headache coming, I suggested buying coffee before we start. Ended up sitting at Starbucks for an hour resting, chatting and relaxing. Was a nice time. Somehow, although Bee, Felix and I meet up ever so often (1 week about 3-4 times), we never fail to have things

Feeling so so sleepy.. Was having tea with Yaya, Bee and Felix at Holland V Coffee Club when Ann called me to say she was at Dragonfly. Didn't wanna go at 1st but seeing that it was her 1st time there, I went to meet her. Met up with Khim, the 2 Desmonds and their friends. Shared table with them. Was quite fun, but short of Yutaki. Haha. Nah.. Just kidding about the Yutaki part. It was quite enjoyable. :) The only bad thing was, I felt so bloated when I went to DF coz of the dinner that I ate. Had a couple of drinks and felt even more bloated. Puked when I came home. Feeling so much better now.. Indigestion.. My goodness! Ending with another quote "Never take for granted every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond because you were too busy collecting stones." K.. I'm so tired.. I need to sleep soon. Nitez!

Guess from the topic of my subject, everybody will know what I'm gonna write about. Yes!! The same topic! Haha. DF today again. Was another great nite. Haven't lost my temper since Monday. Yes, Monday I was soooo down but from then on, I've moved on. No matter how pissed I am at work, I have not lost my temper at all. Learning to keep it under control and to be more patient. Hehe. K.. Back to the topic.. Was there at about 8pm. Ordered food and drinks and chatted with 1 of the waiters for a while for fun. Haha. Was so boring and quiet when we reached so just disturbed the waiter. :p 8.30pm and the singers came on stage. I had already written the same song list as per last week coz Yutaki did not sing any of the songs I dedicated last week. :p Drew the same pig, a few faces and wrote the words "Dragonfly" on the back of the serviette. :) Yutaki saw me from the stage even before the lights were lit and he waved and said hi to me from the stage. Was already so please

Saw this quote somewhere but can't remember when I saw it and where I saw it.. But I really like it. "There are so many stars in the sky, but only some get noticed. Among those you choose to ignore is the one which is willing to shine for you forever, even if your glance remains elsewhere." I find it truly meaningful and beautiful.. Enjoy it.. :)

Here I am, sitting at the same Starbucks on a different sofa from previous time and this time round, I have my laptop with me! Yay!! My form of entertainment! I love it like that! Feel so peaceful, so quiet.. Sitting quietly at Starbucks, typing my blog with a cup of Mocha Praline that taste soooo good and nice, especially when it's topped with lots of my favourite - whipped cream! Mmmmmm... Delicious! This is the kind of life that I like and truly enjoy.. One where I can sit back, relax and watch the day go by. Seems like the last time I did this was when I went Shanghai for the 2nd time... To take my mind off things.. Sydney trip is coming up real soon.. In about another 2 weeks. I can't wait.. Looking forward to visit my colleagues in Sydney, to explore there and to visit the beach. It's been a long time since I last went for some real tanning. :) I think this trip will do me good. K.. Time to enjoy my show via my laptop @ Starbucks. Will blog when I have more stuff to w

Some simple things/reasons that made my very very gloomy day today brighter: (1) An sms in the early morning from my mentor (shifu), Cavin, with words of encouragement for me. (2) The young boy (I think he's 2 or 3 years old) whom I see every morning at the bus stop while picking my aunt up called me "Jie Jie aka elder sis" today. Normally when I wave bye bye to him, he'll either be shy or not bother. For once today, he actually greeted me and wanted me to wave bye bye to him. :) (3) An afternoon nap at my desk during lunch time. (4) Care and concern from my colleagues. Mel allowed me to go off early but I didn't want to. I think the best comment I had today was from my other mentor, Mahesh aka Mr M. He asked if I was not feeling well and if I needed him to back up for me. Told him I was tired. He said, "I don't like to see you like that. You must come in to work tomorrow and smile k?" It was nice to know that some of my colleagues do care. :p Touch

3rd post in 1 day.. I realised I'm meant to be lied to.. If anyone needs to lie to someone, pls lie to me. I'm always being lied to.. I should be getting used to it. If Chris still reads my blog, I can only say Congrats. If close friends notice a change in me, don't worry. I'm just no longer that happy-go-lucky nor happy anymore. You will notice a subtle me, someone who doesn't talk much unless necessary.. Someone who will control her temper and try not to complain about things. The old Magz will have evolved somehow..

I only saw it in the newspapers this morning while visiting grandma.. The news about the 5 dragon boaters whose bodies could not be found when their dragon boat capsized in Phnom Penh Tonle Sap River. I felt sad then.. 3 of them were younger than me. Sighz.. Just waited by the TV for more news on the 5 of them. As feared by most of us, they have left us.. At last their bodies were found. I felt truly emotional then, even now. Tears fill up my eyes while I'm typing this blog. No, I do not know any of these 5 people but I feel deeply sorry for them. They were so young.. So energetic.. Devoted athletes representing our country and yet, they passed away in a faraway land. We should really treasure what we have right now. You never know when you will leave this world, leaving your loved ones behind. I feel the sorrow of the parents, the loved ones they left behind coz I've been in that situation before. Tell your loved ones you love them, show them that you care. Much as I always sc

Have been groggy for past few days since Fri. Rushed home to see the doctor opposite my house due to some rash on my face that caused my cheeks to be swollen and red. Didn't wanna see the doctor downstairs and the doctor opposite my house is more friendly anyway. Hehe. The medicine and cream that he prescribed was effective!! The only sad fact is that I can't drink alcohol (Omigod!!), can't take seafood and egg. That's simply taking my life. Haha. My face looks pretty much back to normal now, thank god! Was worried for so long that I'd be disfigured. Hehe. :p Mel and Edmund gor allowed me to take flexi Fri so that I could leave early (at 5pm) as I took medicine and didn't take medical leave. In the end, I could only leave office at 6.45pm.. Simply too much work to clear or maybe coz my brain wasn't functioning properly and efficiently due to medication hence I was slower in my work. Haha. Rushed down to DF to watch the live unplugged performance while watchi

Was pissed off at work today coz I was being treated like a maid. I didn't scream or scold people but I slammed the papers around. Wasn't in the best of mood til I went to DF... Was given a pretty good seat when I reached. Yay!! During the 1st live unplugged session, quite a number of people dedicated songs and I was slow in doing so. Sighz.. I wrote 4 songs on a DF serviette and gave it to the singers. But I was very biased as all the songs I wrote were songs sung by Yutaki. Hehe. I wrote my name on the serviette as well and even drew my signature pig. :p Pity he didn't have time to sing my songs for me.. But, he finally knows who I am!!!! :) That's more exciting and makes me happier than anything! He knows my name at long last!!! And he flashed such a big smile at me that I could just melt on the spot. While the last song for the set was being sung by Skye, he kept holding on to my serviette and looking at it. Omigod!!! :D Melted.... During the live performance set, h

Today, I finally plucked up my courage and determination to do 1 thing.. I threw away the 2 bouquets of roses on my desk. They have been there for almost a year now and I really can't bear to part with them. But, I know I have to move on somehow.. Throwing them away might not mean anything. I know I won't be getting flowers from anybody for a long time. As my bday and V day draw nearer, the more I dread those days. Much as I keep complaining to Edmund gor that I need to work on my bday and that I will need to work overtime due to month end cum year end, I don't think I wanna leave office early. I'm dreading Xmas, my bday, V day.. Any special occasions. If it wasn't coz of month end cum year end, I'll definitely take those days off and leave Singapore. Sighz... By the way, pls do not buy me flowers coz u pity me or just wanna make me happy or after reading this paragraph. Appreciate the thoughts.. But.. Sometimes, flowers can mean a lot to me.. Esp if I have feel

I know I have yet to update on my Egypt trip. Will do so when the pics have been uploaded. Sorry for the delay. Watched "Lions for Lambs" today. It's a very good show which makes u think about a lot of things. What the show said is very true and real. It's meaningful! There were quite a few lines in the movie that I'd like to quote and share, "Tried but failed or failed to try" and "When u step into adulthood, the decisions u made are made by urself. No matter what happens, that decision had been urs". What was good in the movie is not only the things they say but also the plot of the show. It truly showed the situations about war, why they were started. If what the show said is true, then I simply despise the US government. There are actually too many things to discuss about the show. I think I'll buy the disc for the show when it is out and watch it again. Then maybe blog about it in a more detailed manner. It's a very good topic to t

Left work early today for once.. Wanted to blog, clean my room, wash some of my clothes by hand. But, I saw the number of emails I had.. 200 in my Hotmail account and I have yet to check how many I have in my Yahoo account. Sighz.. All thanks to my sis, I do not need to do anything else.. Will update again. So sorry..

Think I really drank way too much, way too fast last nite.. Or rather this morning. Puked really many times.. So much so that I actually nearly fell asleep by my toilet bowl. Thankfully I have my own personal toilet. Was puking til this morning.. Woke up and drank barley coz I was having such a bad throat and I puked all out. Never experienced this before. Will cut down on drinking.. Was very unhappy last nite and from 3am to 5am, all I wanted was to be drunk. Being drunk allows the tears to flow freely. It's like side effect and I badly needed to cry it out. So many things running through my mind.. None are really happy. Sighz.. I think I like surprises, not shocks. So far, not many people have given me nice surprises before. Oh, I remember one.. My bday last year where Lynn, Ya Ya and Felix came back to office to celebrate my bday for me. That was memorable. :) That's the kind of surprises I like. Anyway, I've decided to focus and concentrate on work once again. It's

Drunk. Puked several times. Many times to get this post n lyric right. Throat hurts a lot. My new currenr favourite song.. More about Egypt next time. 重来 有多少爱能重来? 多少人愿意等待? 失去之后才明白 走进回忆的安排 一幕一幕的对白上 演我们的未来 期待 原来是一种伤害 深爱的人已离开 是我不敢忽略 你给我的爱 现在我只想 回到最初的时候 不愿让你再泪流 寂寞之后只有你会陪着我 现在我只想回到最初的时候 我知道你还爱着我 亲爱的你请你握紧我的手 请你看看我 请看需要你的噢一我 一切重头 真的需要你的我 只要你回头 现在我只想 回到最初的时候 不愿让你在泪流 寂寞之后 只有你会陪着我 现在我只想 回到最初的时候 我知道你还爱着我 亲爱的你 请你握紧我的手 请你看看我 真的需要你的我 只要你回头 Shucks.. Must have been bad last nite. Didn't remove contact lens n finish this post before sleeping.. Terrible..

Standing in front of my check-in gate typing this post right now. My tour group has only 8 people! Much lesser than expected.. Hopefully I will still be able to enjoy this trip. Smaller group has got its advantage as well.. Don't have to wait around for too long. :) Just that we don't have a local tour guide from Singapore with us. Keeping my fingers crossed that all will turn out well. Received quite a few well wishes from friends for this trip. Thanks all! Appreciate the kind thoughts and well wishes! :p It's touching to know that there are people and friends who truly care, esp Meng and Shaun who have been giving me so much advice on what to do, what to look out for and how to take care of myself. No worries. I'll come back in 1 piece! Haha. K.. Gotta run along now. Take care all! Cya soon! *Hugz*

Will be leaving for the airport in 2 hours time and flying off in 5 hours.. How soon it seems. It was only the other day that I went to Natas Fair to book my package a month ago and now, I'm actually on leave already and flying off. Went to the 3rd Annual International Salsa Festival in Singapore yesterday. Was an eye opener to see the various different forms of salsa being performed live, right in front of my eyes. Never expected that salsa could take on such variations. Was truly amazed and made me feel more motivated than ever to master the skill and act of salsa. Hopefully, I'll get there some day. Anyway, my boss, who has been appointed the head of the D&D committee for next year, intends for us to perform salsa on stage. Hehe. Must practise real hard to make it in time for next year! :p K.. Thought of writing more but brain blocked and I'm getting tired. Shall take a short nap before I fly off. Take care all! Will have to update when I'm back on 01 Nov. Will m

Went to a club at Clarke Quay last nite called Rumour with the regulars from Instinct. The club is kinda like Dragonfly but the music is not as good, the live band and singers were also not that good. The lead singer who is supposedly the most handsome has got a whiney voice when he sings. Shudders.. Think I still prefer DF anytime, any day. Reached home at 6 and slept at 6.30am.. Tiring.. I have been pubbing and clubbing 6 nites in a row.. Think I need to cut down and relax a bit. But, drinking is a form of relaxation coz I get to talk to friends and enjoy. :p Had a chat with Mingjie (another regular at Instinct) last nite. He truly impressed me by wooing the same girl for 7 years! He knew her 10 years ago, got together for 3 years, broke up and tried wooing her back for 7 years. It's truly fascinating. I'm amazed and at the same time, envious. No guy have ever wooed me for so long.. All just want me to be their gf within days or weeks. Any longer, they give up or pressure me

After all the sadness and sorrow yesterday, everything changed today. I can't stop smiling right now and I'm so so so so so happy! Ultra contented! Went to DF today and was given a seat right in front of the centre of stage. It was such a PERFECT seat coz Yutaki was in the house!!! He sat right in front of me and sang slow songs during happy hour. Took pics with him after the 1st set of live performance and was sooooooo satisfied already. But as luck will have it, he performed the 2nd set as well and sang quite a number of songs that I knew how to sing and some that I've watched him perform before. Danced along with him down stage and I enjoyed myself a lot just by watching him. When the set was over and the waiter was keeping my bottle of Hennessy, he went to the next table and had drinks. I think he knows the people at the next table coz he drank with them a few times and even waved at them from the stage. Didn't know he was walking behind me and nearly bumped into hi

Had a very bad day today. Was unhappy since morning.. So much so that I actually cried in office. More like sobbing but not uncontrollably. K.. More like teared a bit.. All I did was ask a simple question regarding the common drive disk space. What I had was more than an answer. I was being rebutted and misunderstood.. Criticised even. It really hurt.. To be wrongly accused. Not the 1st time anyway but somehow, it was a bit hard to handle. Teared during lunch.. Sighz.. Edmund gor was the 1st person to see me cry and he was very concerned. Wanted to tell him but didn't want to create trouble in office so just kept quiet and swallowed my unhappiness. But no matter how well I tried to be normal, quite a few of them felt it. Agnes, Lynette.. Dunno why I'm taking it so bad. Not the 1st time I'm being accused by this person. Not the 1st time we've had misunderstandings. Maybe this time round, I read too much into it which is why I feel so hurt. Shall not dwell on it anymore.

Think I've blogged about something like this before.. But once again, I saw the same scene that made me wanna blog about this again. Today, during lunch time, I saw an old couple walking hand in hand at the food court deciding what to eat. They were so happy and sweet and discussing merrily. It made me wonder, will I ever be like that in future? I don't think I'm asking for much. I think all girls want to be treated like a princess. All I ask for is someone who treats me well, who cares about me, who loves me with all his heart. Maybe a bit more that I ask for is that the guy will open the car door for me coz somehow that makes me feel like a lady. I've always felt that if you love someone, you will want to hold his/her hand.. Forever. It's a feeling.. It comes naturally. Someone once told me that falling in love is a feeling but to be in love is an emotion. Will that emotion stay forever?

I love this song!

A wave of sadness washed over me today.. Not sure why.. Anyway, here are some of my favourite Chinese quotes translated to English. Might not sound very right though.. (1) When u meet the right person at the right time, it is a lifetime of happiness and bliss. When u meet the wrong person at the right time, it is a case of heartache. When u meet the wrong person at the wrong time, it is a case of ridicule. When u meet the right person at the wrong time, u can only sigh.. "在对德时间遇见对的人是一生幸福。在对的时间遇见错的人是一场心伤。在错的时间遇见错的人是一场荒唐。在错的时间遇见对的人是一阵叹息。" (2) No man is worth your tears coz the man who is worthy of your love should not make you cry. "没有一个男人值得你为他流泪，值得的那一个不会让你流泪" (3) A person should not be afraid to walk in the dark but should fear that they do not have sunshine in their hearts. "人不怕走在黑暗里，就怕自己心中没有阳光" (4) The opposite of nite is day, the opposite of anger is happiness. Sometimes it is good to let your heart take a turn to the opposite. "黑夜的转弯是白天，愤怒的转弯是快乐。有时

My Egypt trip has finally been confirmed! I'll be leaving Singapore on 23rd Oct at 3am. Can't wait!!! Haha. At long last.. A trip out of Asia. And I've also planned a trip to Sydney in Dec for the week of 17-21 Dec. Yay!! Wonder if Bee and the rest still wanna go KL. If so, that will be in Nov. And that will bring my this year's holidays to: (1) Hong Kong, (2) Shanghai, (3) Shanghai, (4) Egypt, (5) KL & (6) Sydney. Though (5) & (6) are still pending. Haha. Went to Dragonfly yesterday and I'm glad I went coz it so happened that Matthew was also there celebrating his friend's birthday. He has flown off to Las Vegas today and I wonder when we will meet again. Had fun catching up with him a bit, drinking and taking pictures. I'll miss him loads! From knowing him in Shanghai til coming back to Singapore, we haven't been able to meet up often but we do chat on MSN often. Told him that I'll visit his wife and him in Las Vegas next year. Hehe. :p Edm

Ok.. Changing my original 1st line. Guys tell me that they have a special feeling when they know me and that they find me to be the girl in their life. Someone they wanna get to know better and develop a relationship with.. Maybe marry. Yes, it makes me feel good.. Makes me happy to know that there are people out there who truly think the world of me. But I can't help wondering.. What makes people think I'm special and that I'm the one? I have no idea.. I don't even know what I did to make guys like me. Is it based on looks? I'm not that pretty. Is it based on height which makes me more noticeable? There are many girls taller than me. I absolutely have no clue.. I feel that when guys are trying to woo a girl, they tend to neglect something.. Something called care and concern. After some time, care and concern no longer tend to exist. It's like, the guy used to call u 3 times a day.. And he stops calling for various reasons claiming to be busy. Then, it gets to a

Been wanting to blog the whole day. Didn't really feel happy today. Not sure why. But I'm glad that Agnes, Chris mama, Rachel, Irene, Celine n Winston made me laugh a lot during lunch today. Am also happy that Agnes, Chris mama, Rachel, Joey, Bee n Felix were able to make me laugh during supper just now. I'm thankful for the company I had today who were all cheering me up without knowing that I was down. Joey cracked so many funny jokes that I laughed til my tummy ached. Haha. I enjoyed myself tonite. Dunno why I'm feeling down today. Maybe coz I haven't had enough sleep for weeks and I'm really really tired. Gonna head straight to bed after this post. I need my 12 hour sleep desperately. Somehow, I've had this nagging feeling the whole day. Feel that I'm actually not good enough. Not good enough to love anybody or for anyone to love me, not good enough at work, not good enough to be a person in general. This feeling sucks and it really brings me down. W

Went drinking on Monday nite to celebrate Dave's bday. As always, I had lots of fun n booze. Haha. Getting closer n closer to the regular gang of Rich, Anto, Ben, etc. Jasmine just called me to go down tonite but am too tired to drink. Had a slight hangover on Tues morning while I was in office probably due to the lack of sleep as well as I went to bed at 2+ and woke up at 6am to reach office by 7.30am. Thank god for the lime juice which solved the problem. :p Thanks to Felix too for helping me to buy and for sending me to office so early in the morning! Attended Anson & Xhann's wedding last nite. Was really beautiful and romantic. They are really a couple made for each other. So perfect and matching. Sometimes, attending weddings make me think too much. The best part was, everybody started asking when would my turn be. Sighz.. It's still a long long way to go... Marriage.. Something that I yearn but no longer dare to ask for or think about. But their wedding was really

Haven't been blogging as much as I want to.. Sorry to be missing in action. Been happy and busy lately. Maybe I know the reason for being happy. Maybe coz people have been treating me as a lady lately. Have had guys opening car doors for me before I get in the car and treating me so much like a princess that sometimes I'm afraid that I will be over pampered. Haha. But I like the feeling.. Really do. Went to Salsa Club with Rachel, Cheryl, Felix and Chris Yeo on Fri as arranged with Ricky, our salsa instructor. Lynn and ah Bee joined us later. Wanted to take a look at the place and the professional people dance. However, was dragged to the dance floor by Ricky twice. He even asked his other instructor friend to dance with us gals. He taught us some hand movements whioch was interesting. Another guy approached me to dance with him when it was almost time for us to leave. I kept telling him that I was only a beginner but he still insisted that I tried. Stepped and bumped into him