Not good enough..
Been wanting to blog the whole day. Didn't really feel happy today. Not sure why. But I'm glad that Agnes, Chris mama, Rachel, Irene, Celine n Winston made me laugh a lot during lunch today. Am also happy that Agnes, Chris mama, Rachel, Joey, Bee n Felix were able to make me laugh during supper just now. I'm thankful for the company I had today who were all cheering me up without knowing that I was down. Joey cracked so many funny jokes that I laughed til my tummy ached. Haha. I enjoyed myself tonite.
Dunno why I'm feeling down today. Maybe coz I haven't had enough sleep for weeks and I'm really really tired. Gonna head straight to bed after this post. I need my 12 hour sleep desperately.
Somehow, I've had this nagging feeling the whole day. Feel that I'm actually not good enough. Not good enough to love anybody or for anyone to love me, not good enough at work, not good enough to be a person in general. This feeling sucks and it really brings me down. When did I start having such low self-esteem? I wonder.. Sighz..
But ain't it true? Guys these days go for girls who are sweet, gentle, submissive, etc. Characters and qualities that I don't possess and don't think I'll ever possess. Never been that sort of girl and don't think I'll ever be. That makes me not good enough.
Not good enough at work.. Ya.. Always making mistakes, not good enough to be a leader in anyway or to even teach people. Too rash and impatient..
Not good enough at salsa.. Not smooth enough in my moves and that signature bounce when I walk is becoming a huge barrier in salsa. Trying hard to change that portion of me.. The only time when I don't bounce when I walk is when I'm down.. Sighz..
No matter how hard I try, how much I change, I don't think I'll ever be good enough.. I'll change for things that I know will make me a better person, but I don't wish to change for anyone. Which is why, I'll never be good enough.
I'm just not good enough..
Dunno why I'm feeling down today. Maybe coz I haven't had enough sleep for weeks and I'm really really tired. Gonna head straight to bed after this post. I need my 12 hour sleep desperately.
Somehow, I've had this nagging feeling the whole day. Feel that I'm actually not good enough. Not good enough to love anybody or for anyone to love me, not good enough at work, not good enough to be a person in general. This feeling sucks and it really brings me down. When did I start having such low self-esteem? I wonder.. Sighz..
But ain't it true? Guys these days go for girls who are sweet, gentle, submissive, etc. Characters and qualities that I don't possess and don't think I'll ever possess. Never been that sort of girl and don't think I'll ever be. That makes me not good enough.
Not good enough at work.. Ya.. Always making mistakes, not good enough to be a leader in anyway or to even teach people. Too rash and impatient..
Not good enough at salsa.. Not smooth enough in my moves and that signature bounce when I walk is becoming a huge barrier in salsa. Trying hard to change that portion of me.. The only time when I don't bounce when I walk is when I'm down.. Sighz..
No matter how hard I try, how much I change, I don't think I'll ever be good enough.. I'll change for things that I know will make me a better person, but I don't wish to change for anyone. Which is why, I'll never be good enough.
I'm just not good enough..
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