Update on Dad
I think I look like a total wreck right now. Nose is peeling from being sun-burnt in Sydney by UV rays and not sun, and it looks reddish and blackish at the same time. I'm having some pimple outbreak on my cheeks. I look haggard and tired. Feels like I aged 10 years after 2 days. Sighz.. Still crying on and off. Teared on the MRT on the way to the hospital, teared in the office, cried at the hospital. Thought I would have run out of tears by now but apparently not yet.
Dad's bleeding is from the brain stem. It bleed once and further bleeding occurred while he was in hospital. Thank God he was in hospital when it happened a 2nd time and that it is only from 1 side of the brain stem. Apparently, the brain stem is a very critical part of the brain and it is the 1 part that cannot be operated on. His bleeding has stopped but he's still having fever from pneumonia.
Can't seem to erase the image of dad in hospital in my mind. It keeps playing itself right in my eyes and mind and the tears just flow out of my eyes uncontrollably. I wanna be strong but it's not easy. Losing my mum at 8, I don't wanna see my dad go so soon. Feeling so much like an orphan...
Saw a young girl whose mum is also in ICU. She didn't cry once. Think she's about 7 or 8 (same age as when I lost my mum). Overheard some aunties asking her if she loves her mum and telling her not wake mummy up. Not sure if the girl understands what's happening.. If she does, then all I can say is that she's definitely much much stronger than I am.
Wanna thank all the friends who have been really concerned about me though not many read my blog or have my blog address - Rach, Anne, Jean, Meng, Ed gor, Carissa mummy, Chris mama, Yaya, Bee, Felix, Ken, Agnes, Ali & Shirley from Sydney, Xiu Zheng, Matt, Howdy, Zubair, Shaun, Khim, Adrian, Alvin from KL, KK. Quite a few of you wanted to come hospital to visit but I told u guys not to. Seriously, the concern is good enough. Don't want u guys to see me crying myself crazy there.
Carissa mummy asked me today if I needed company or if I'm ok. I dunno the answer.. I'm definitely not that ok. Even if I need company, I don't want to trouble others or be a burden in any way. I know u guys care and it's enough for me. Don't wanna be crying in front of everybody also...
Once again, I feel myself changing.. In different ways. I am being forced to grow up further.. Which I will.
Saw this phrase on a bench in a park in Sydney. Will post the pic up when I'm more up to it. For now, here's the phrase..
"If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme. When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true." - For James Andrew Ahlers
I'll be wishing upon all the stars in the sky that I can see... For my dad to wake up and recover soon.. Nothing else is more important in my life right now other than this..
Dad's bleeding is from the brain stem. It bleed once and further bleeding occurred while he was in hospital. Thank God he was in hospital when it happened a 2nd time and that it is only from 1 side of the brain stem. Apparently, the brain stem is a very critical part of the brain and it is the 1 part that cannot be operated on. His bleeding has stopped but he's still having fever from pneumonia.
Can't seem to erase the image of dad in hospital in my mind. It keeps playing itself right in my eyes and mind and the tears just flow out of my eyes uncontrollably. I wanna be strong but it's not easy. Losing my mum at 8, I don't wanna see my dad go so soon. Feeling so much like an orphan...
Saw a young girl whose mum is also in ICU. She didn't cry once. Think she's about 7 or 8 (same age as when I lost my mum). Overheard some aunties asking her if she loves her mum and telling her not wake mummy up. Not sure if the girl understands what's happening.. If she does, then all I can say is that she's definitely much much stronger than I am.
Wanna thank all the friends who have been really concerned about me though not many read my blog or have my blog address - Rach, Anne, Jean, Meng, Ed gor, Carissa mummy, Chris mama, Yaya, Bee, Felix, Ken, Agnes, Ali & Shirley from Sydney, Xiu Zheng, Matt, Howdy, Zubair, Shaun, Khim, Adrian, Alvin from KL, KK. Quite a few of you wanted to come hospital to visit but I told u guys not to. Seriously, the concern is good enough. Don't want u guys to see me crying myself crazy there.
Carissa mummy asked me today if I needed company or if I'm ok. I dunno the answer.. I'm definitely not that ok. Even if I need company, I don't want to trouble others or be a burden in any way. I know u guys care and it's enough for me. Don't wanna be crying in front of everybody also...
Once again, I feel myself changing.. In different ways. I am being forced to grow up further.. Which I will.
Saw this phrase on a bench in a park in Sydney. Will post the pic up when I'm more up to it. For now, here's the phrase..
"If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme. When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true." - For James Andrew Ahlers
I'll be wishing upon all the stars in the sky that I can see... For my dad to wake up and recover soon.. Nothing else is more important in my life right now other than this..
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