Morning Surprise and sadness now..

Thunderstorm's brewing outside while I'm sitting here, alone in Tom's house, blogging away with my can of Lime Coke that I jus bought, enjoying the aircon and mp3s, deciding if I should my KitKat Chunky with Caramel. The kind of life that I like. Thought of going to a cafe to read my book with an ice blended coffee, watching the day pass by but the thunderstorm prevented all that from happening. No worries, I've still got 3 more days of leave to clear. Hopefully I get to do that on 1 of the days that I'm on leave. Would really love to do that. Something that I've always wanted.

Anyway, I came to my dear's place early in the morning (Woke up the same time that I'll wake up to go work!). It's insane, yes I know. Why would anyone want to wake up that early in the morning just to go to their bf's house when nobody's there either. Well, I don't want to stay at home and be bombarded with questions from my dad about my taking leave and he'll keep calling me to disturb me and to ask me to do stuff for him. I just wanna enjoy and relax on my day off. Tom messaged me to tell me that there was a surprise waiting for me in his room. Was quite excited on my journey throughout the 1 hour that I was on the bus. Yupz.. That's how long it takes to get from my house to his house.

When I reached there, I went up to his room and saw that he had done something cute with his bed, pillow and bolster. It made me smile immediately. Nice that my dear did something cute for me to surprise me, after 'my whining' blog previously. The picture is what he did for me. He even wrote a poem for me. I'm so touched!

Ok.. I just came back from a drink with Doreen. It's supposed to be coffee, but it ended up with wine and beer. Was supposed to cook dinner for my baby, but now.. he's cooking downstairs without me. He's not happy about it. I know. I can sense it. It's the sixth sense that I have. I know it when people aren't happy with me or stuff like that. I always manage to guess things right. I didn't mean it to be that way. I was psyched about it the whole day. Was waiting to do it for him. Little did I expect to come back so late and to be drinking. Sorry baby! Promise to cook for you on Monday when I'm on leave again. Don't be angry anymore? I know you're angry when you're not responsive to my hugs and kisses. Next time, I'll jus drink coffee k? Pls pls talk to me again.. :(

Really not happy about it. I feel like crying but there's no point in me crying over something which I chose to do. What good will it do? I don't know. Tears are welling up in my eyes yet I'm trying hard to control. I'm disappointed in myself I guess. All I wanted was to make Tom happy, but I ended up doing something else. I hate it when he's upset with me. I hate it when he doesn't talk to me. I hate it when he's angry with me. And I know that it's all coz of the things I do. I hate myself for doing things to make him feel that way. I really do.

Thought I would have more to write earlier on. Definitely not in the mood right now. I feel horrible.. For making him upset.. for being so unresponsible. For being such a bitch..