Upside Down

While everyone was wishing me Happy Friday or have a good weekend ahead and I replied accordingly, I didn't feel that happy after all. I'm sorry.. I can't bring myself to be happy at the moment.

My world seemed to have turned upside down in a day. I found out some stuff tonite that made me feel burdened. I can't tell anyone and I don't think I should tell anyone what I discovered. But it made me sad, it made me cranky. I was stunned into silence. Couldn't think of anything to say in response to what I heard, unable to find any excuses or reasonable explanation for that person's behaviour. I was dumbfolded.

I think I'm screwing up my own life. I'm pissing people off too easily. I'm sorry.. With too many things happening in my life and none of the things are good, I blow up at the slightest thing. I know.. I've gotta keep my emotions and temperament in control but somehow, I jus can't do it. Can't..

Cabbed again to visit Aunt Mic. TTSH.. Reminded me of those days where I would rush off work to visit my dad and I can't help but think of my fat old man. :( Made me feel worse and though I know I need to shake off that feeling, it's not gonna be easy. Aunt's condition.. I don't wish to say more. Let's just take it 1 day at a time..

Attended maternal gramp's wake. Somehow, I felt guilty for failing to show filial piety. I felt distant from my mum's family. It's been 19 years.. The last I saw them was during my maternal grandma's funeral. That was quite a number of years back too. But we've never been close ever since mum passed away. 19 years of absence in my life is not easy to put back. Not that they try anyway..

Qn: Where can I find pomelo leaves by tomorrow morning?? By right, I need it now.. Damn!

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