Cynical
Wish I could do more.. But there doesn't seem to be anything that I can do..
Aunt looked weaker today though her oxygen level does seem better. Not easy for my cousins and not easy for me too. I've always been a crybaby yet I know all of us have to be strong. More discoveries today but yet again, I shall keep to myself.
Massaged aunt's hands and legs while I was there, like how I used to help daddy massage. Aunt kept looking at me while I was doing it. She knows and I know that she knows. That's good enough for me.
Both my cousins have not been eating much and they puke after eating. It's not a good sign. Too stressed.. But who can blame them? It's just saddening. So I promised my little cousin that I'm gonna buy her something that she will like for her to eat. Hope it really can make them feel better. There's only so much I can do actually..
Eeyore was nice enough to wait in my aunt's room for me while I took a breather with my cousins for half an hour to ensure that they eat. No complaints, no grumbles. We were at the hospital for 3 hours plus today and he was jus there for me.
I know he had appointments to go Butter Factory tonite and Stef has asked us to go Sid's place for movie marathon but I'm seriously not up to such stuff at the moment. I wanna club but I can't seem to find the mood to do it. I feel bad for letting him down but he said he won't go without me tonite (he went clubbing last nite anyway). Not that I'm complaining.. I don't feel good that he's unable to have fun. Kept asking him to go but he doesn't want to.
Can't bring myself to have fun now. Can't seem to be able to talk to people properly. Becoming too cynical with life and things, flaring up too easily. I need to relax..
PS: Thanx Jess, for the sweet blog post. :)
Aunt looked weaker today though her oxygen level does seem better. Not easy for my cousins and not easy for me too. I've always been a crybaby yet I know all of us have to be strong. More discoveries today but yet again, I shall keep to myself.
Massaged aunt's hands and legs while I was there, like how I used to help daddy massage. Aunt kept looking at me while I was doing it. She knows and I know that she knows. That's good enough for me.
Both my cousins have not been eating much and they puke after eating. It's not a good sign. Too stressed.. But who can blame them? It's just saddening. So I promised my little cousin that I'm gonna buy her something that she will like for her to eat. Hope it really can make them feel better. There's only so much I can do actually..
Eeyore was nice enough to wait in my aunt's room for me while I took a breather with my cousins for half an hour to ensure that they eat. No complaints, no grumbles. We were at the hospital for 3 hours plus today and he was jus there for me.
I know he had appointments to go Butter Factory tonite and Stef has asked us to go Sid's place for movie marathon but I'm seriously not up to such stuff at the moment. I wanna club but I can't seem to find the mood to do it. I feel bad for letting him down but he said he won't go without me tonite (he went clubbing last nite anyway). Not that I'm complaining.. I don't feel good that he's unable to have fun. Kept asking him to go but he doesn't want to.
Can't bring myself to have fun now. Can't seem to be able to talk to people properly. Becoming too cynical with life and things, flaring up too easily. I need to relax..
PS: Thanx Jess, for the sweet blog post. :)
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