disappointed n jer's departure...

been a little disappointed with friends.. the term 'friends'.. what does it actually mean? someone u can talk to, someone who will be there for u? how many people can do that for a long time? i'm not very sure but i used to try n keep it contact with close friends in the past. i did all i could to stay in touch n find out what's going on in their lives so that our friendship can stay strong. however, that wasn't the case. 1 fine day, i finally decided to stop taking the initiative to remain in contact with them n the result was, they didn't bother either. what happened to the friendship between us? i'm not sure. but it takes 2 hands to clap n i don't understand y i always have to be the one who makes it happen. i've lost many friends coz of that. upset.. of coz i was. i've always treasured friendships but i don't see the point of hanging on if the friendship is so 1-sided. disappointed..

i've always believed that to be friends, we have to take our hearts out n put it on the line. show them who u r, give them care n concern when they need it, lend them a listening ear when they r sad or need to complain. but over the years, my heart has been broken into pieces by many of my friends. i gave them my heart but they ill-treated it. so many so many of them.

recently, i'm starting to remember y i stopped taking the initiative to stay in contact again... coz people simply take it for granted. my buddy refused to share his problem with me. fine.. i don't want to know anymore. maybe i'm juz being a busybody. what hurts me most was that i thought my friendship with the dbs group was good. but since i started work, i was the one who always asked if they wanted to lunch together everyday. before i left, we agreed to have lunch with one another. but now, if i don't email them to ask, nobody bothers to lemme know if we're lunching together. i saw the full picture last thurs. something juz hit me n told me not to email them if we'll be lunching together on fri n see what would their reaction be. statistics have shown that i have b forgotten n that nobody will take the initiative to ask me about lunch. the whole of this week is the same story. i give up. totally give up. i no longer want to try. whether they lunch with me or not, life goes on for them anyway. y should i b so upset? i don't know.. only mel cares from time to time.. sighz...

jean, u've always said that i'm a bitch coz i don't let u know what's happening in my life if u don't call me. that's coz i no longer like to take the initiative. now u know.. been hurt too many times to want to be the one to take the 1st step.. but gal, u've proved to be a fantastic n wonderful gal who always takes the initiative to stay in touch with me. i love u for that n much more! thanx babe! ever so much!! for everything! *hugz*

jeremy left for australia last nite. he was the 1st guy i brought home to meet dad n grandma. read his current gf's blog thro his link this morning. read how sad she felt when he was about to board the plane n it brought back memories of the time he went to uk when we were still together. haha. i cried myself to sleep n grandma knew about it. can really feel that she loves him so jer, i know u will read this. treasure regine! she's really very sweet n nice. i know i've said this lots of time but i think u 2 r really meant for each other. i'll wait til the day u guys get married manz. muz invite me!! haha. :) anyway, study hard in aussie!!

after reading her blog n having all the memories flow back to me, i suddenly felt a sense of sadness. what will i do without tom? experienced that before. don't think i can go thro it again. he's been there for me everytime i need him, he's done so many things that no other guys will ever do or be bothered to do. yes, he may be unromantic but no guy can ever be as sweet n as nice as he is. i honestly do hope that he will be always stay by my side. he's the only guy n should most likely be the only guy that i brought home to meet my whole extended family. they know that he's a good guy too n they more or less approve of our relationship so i can only hope that we will work out well. bae, thanx for everything!! may our relationship stay strong forever~

Comments

Anonymous said…
of cos i'll be there for you~~ silly~~ u cute darling!

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