Still can't let go...

Dreamt of him again last night... Dreamt that we got back together and that he proposed to me again.... Sigh.... Dreams... Why is that my heart and mind still can't let go of him? Why is it so tough?? 

Bee told me that I need to find another man to divert my attention and to get over him. Not as easy and simple... How to find another man with a sister like mine? Guess I'm bound to be single all my life.. But then again, I don't even wanna live long so why bother? Just hope and wish and pray that I can say goodbye forever and die asap.. Sick and tired of all these...

Work is shit.. People are shit.. I don't even know what I look forward to everyday anymore. No motivation, no satisfaction, totally no mood. :( thought I'll be happier and more relaxed after my Osaka/Kyoto trip but seems like I'm even more unhappy now. Guess the events in office and at home that happened after my trip in just 2 weeks has killed everything for me... Why not just kill me too??

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