When I Dream~

Frankly, I think I deserve better.. Sms-ed him if we were meeting over the weekend and his reply was "Can you don't ask me this sort of thing at this sort of time? I dunno what time I'll end work. U want to have ur own activity then go ahead." The very 1st sentence was enough to make me never ever sms or call him again. It was lunch time when I messaged him.. And all I asked was meet on Fri or Sat. It sucks.. Sucks to the core. What does he take me as? Forget it. Seriously, forget it. I deserve so much more.. So much better. When I'm busy, I still reply him nicely and this is what I get. I don't understand.. In what way have I not been good to him? He said he was busy these 2 weeks. I haven't called or sms-ed him for days and I didn't even dare ask for a call or sms from him. I simply allowed him to call or sms if he wants to or have the time to. And yet, it was.. Never. Not a call or sms. What am I to him? I keep asking myself this question the whole ...

Seriously, sometimes I wonder how such creepy and weird things can happen to me or am I just having some sort of bad luck? This morning, I burnt my finger before going to work. At work, I signed in to my pc and applications when suddenly Internet Explorer refused to load saying there's some error. Logged a ticket for the technology guy to help me with it and while waiting for the guy to call, I rebooted my comp. After the comp restarted, I clicked on Outlook and it wasn't working as well (with the same error message) so I got the guy to help me with it. He clicked on Explorer and it worked! Told him to try Outlook and it worked too!! He must be thinking that I'm dumb.. Sighz... Afternoon, I was bored and my drawer was a mess so I packed it and put the papers properly. Once again, finger was cut by the stapler bullet and bled like crazy. Sighz... Just when I thought everything would be ok, I went to the ladies. Washed my hands and waved at the sensor to get the hand tissue t...

Rushed thro work to go on leave in the afternoon. Had lunch at Canele with Matt and as always, the company was fantastic! Love his company everytime! He accompanied me the whole day and drove me around to run all my errands which was very very sweet of him. :) Met Heng Wee for a coffee for a short while to have a chat. He said I looked like I have BGR problems.. Is it that obvious? I wonder.. Amazingly, he called me just now. But it was coz his hp batt went flat and he was wondering if I called him. Told him I didn't and asked if he was home yet, if he had eaten and if he was still sick. He said he was home, ate in JB before coming back to Singapore and that he was still coughing though he's better now. Then he said he didn't feel like talking anymore so we hung up. The kind of conversations that we have sometimes make me can't help but wonder what sort of relationship we have. But today, I was actually not up set with the kind of conversation that we had. The normal me...

Work was as usual. Received my award at the dialogue session today but it was crappy coz they didn't present us with the letter and they left out a few of our names at the announcement, including mine! WTF!!!! Sighz... Such a total disappointment. Decided to give myself a half day break tomorrow. I need some time to think and enjoy myself. Maybe I'm being over-sensitive in this relationship. I dunno, no longer know and no longer wanna know. I shall just live my own life and see what goes on from there. Officially, we are still together but.. How many couples don't sms or call each other often? I think.. It's only gonna be an sms a day for us and that's it. Or maybe, not a single call or sms. I dunno.. I know everybody is concerned about me and has been wanting to meet me and accompany me. I appreciate all the thoughts, care and concern. I feel your love. It makes me very touched. Thank you all!!! You know who you are. All of the care and concern will be deeply cheri...

Closed off from love I didn't need the pain Once or twice was enough And it was all in vain Time starts to pass Before you know it you're frozen But something happened For the very first time with you My heart melts into the ground Found something true And everyone's looking round Thinking I'm going crazy But I don't care what they say I'm in love with you They try to pull me away But they don't know the truth My heart's crippled by the vein That I keep on closing You cut me open and I Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding love Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love You cut me open Trying hard not to hear But they talk so loud Their piercing sounds fill my ears Try to fill me with doubt Yet I know that the goal Is to keep me from falling But nothing's greater Than the rush that comes with your embrace And in this world of loneliness I see your face Yet everyone around me Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, m...

Tummyache now... Typing this in toilet with a numb left leg, TV on which is showing news about the latest Sichuan after quake news.. :( Woke up at 8.30am to go for gram's bday brunch. Ate a lot coz cousins kept making me eat. I'm fat!!! And I'm trying to lose weight!!! Sighz.. Sooo hard... Went shopping after that. Didn't buy anything today except for a new top from Gap to change out of the one I was wearing coz I dirtied it while eating earlier. The top costs only $15.75 after all the discounts and I bought it from the kids section of Gap. Yes, you are reading correctly. Kids section. Their clothes are simply tooooo big for me.. Kids section XXL fit nicely. Haha. Had a caramel macchiato at Starbucks after I had changed with Peg and Ann. Finally left Orchard at 5.30pm. Was sooo tired. Lack sleep. And my mood was really down. I didn't call or sms him the whole day and he totally didn't call or sms me either. Til 7.30pm when I simply couldn't take it anymore. ...

Another quick post coz I'm very tired now. 5am: Bedtime.. 10.30am: Alarm rang. 11am: Dragged my ass out of bed and washed up. 11.20am: Walked to Toa Payoh Central to buy stuff for JZ, took cab to his place, left the things at his doorstep, took the same cab home. 12.30pm: Home sweet home. 1pm: Slept. 4pm: Woke up for lunch bought over by Matt who was sooooo sweet to buy me food! 5.45pm: Met Bee in Orchard (I was 45 mins late). Shopped - I need retail therapy coz I'm not happy. Spent $300+ again!! Shucks!! I'm overspending big time. But I bought lotsa stuff and I'm happy with my purchases. Told Bee I'll post 2 of the things which I bought in this blog but I haven't taken the pics of them yet so that will have to wait when I'm less tired. 9.45pm: Felix picked Bee and I up from Taka for dinner. On the way to Geylang for dinner, I cried in the car coz I felt unappreciated. Bee said I was stupid to "invest" so much in this relationship that's why I...