When I Dream~

On Leave & Meeting Up!

2012-02-01T14:10:00.001+08:00

It's good to be on leave and meeting up with ex colleagues and old friends! Making full use of everyday and travelling everywhere just to catch up with good friends! Highlight of the day - I am meeting my college mentor (Steve) this afternoon after 12 years??? Kinda excited!

So I've met up with the onz gang for dinner the same nite I reached Sg - Jerome, Shi han, Sylvia, Lisa n Agnes. Then I went back to Changi n met Carissa, Christine, Irene, Josh and Zoey. ;)

Today I'm heading to Lynn's place n met Ed Gor. I know I have more friends to meet up with but limited time to do so. I'll try to meet up with friends I've missed out on soon!!

Flying off again tomorrow morning. Someone commented (can't remember who) that I travel by plane more than on trains. Hahaha. I do wish that is true!! Hk tomorrow til Sunday. Then Hk again in march! Hell yeah!!!

PS: I think niseko is gorgeous!!!!

Elusive 5 years

2012-01-19T22:42:00.004+08:00

5 years have passed.. Every passing minute of everyday, I feel as if I have wasted my time and my youth. I thought that my hardwork would pay off, that I would reap the fruits of what I have sowed. But no, 5 years in a row, my fruits have eluded me. Why? I really wonder why I am still persisting. After 5 years, is it time for me to really let it go and move on to something else?

I'm confused. I dunno. This year's zodiac sign is bad. Economy downturn is happening. Do I be reckless or should I carry on? I have dedicated so much of my time and life here. What am I gonna do? The promise that it will happen this year was broken. Promises are really meant to be broken? Always telling me to wait another year. How many more years of my life do I have to give and offer? I'm not getting young anymore. I don't want to be stagnant...

I drank beer during lunch. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed a drink. I had to de-stress. It felt good. Couldn't be bothered anymore. Left on the dot. Really really tired..

Luckily I had told Lynnie that I would be going to her place after work to visit her and her newborn, Kaelyn. Not to mention, the cutie Kayden. Wonderful catchup session and most importantly, I had a lot of fun with the 2 lovely children, making me laugh and forgetting all my sadness. :) Thanks Lynnie, Kayden and Kaelyn! Some pics of the sweetie Kaelyn.

A pic that a good friend, Stevo, sent to me from Sydney. No photoshopping on the pic. Beautiful and surreal. :D

Lastly, 2 lovely pics of Ed gor's twins that never cease to brighten my day and cheer me up everytime I'm unhappy. They are so adorable and I love the pic where they are holding on to each other. Sweet!!!

Ok, I think I feel a lot better now after ranting, having the baby smell on me and seeing so many lovely pics! :) Shall not dwell on it for now since I'm going on leave soon. Will leave the thinking to when I'm on leave.

Europe Part 1 - London 5-7 Nov 2011

2012-01-17T18:54:00.016+08:00

Here comes Part 1 of my loooooong overdue Europe trip post!! Once again, I'll try to let my pics do the talking. :)

05 Nov - 14 hour flight to London!! Stayed at Eeyore's bro's (W) place. Poor W had to sleep on the couch while we were there. So sorry!!!!

Beautiful clouds in the sky!

Snow on the window halfway through the flight!!

Eeyore and I on the plane - I was super tired but refused to sleep! Look at the eyelids!

1st time I see a London cab!

06 Nov - Outlet shopping day!!!!

The view when I looked out of the window the moment I woke up!! Gorgeous!!

Check out the porthole window - that's the living room window!! Feels like you are living in a submarine!

Hahaha - Can't help taking this photo - the workplace! Right where I was staying! This is taken from the ground floor of the apartment. :)

Baker Street Tube Station - Sherlock Holmes on the wall!!

Train ticket to Bichester Village for Outlet Shopping! :DDD

Night view of Bichester Village!

07 Nov - Buckingham Palace day + watching a play in London! Watched "Woman in Black". Nice!!! Wanted "Wicked" instead but no tickets.. :(

Greenwich Building where GMT is!

Changing of Guards at Buckingham Palace

Buckingham Palace

Princess Diana Memorial Walk

Can't remember what's what..

Chinese Lunch @ Four Seasons Roast Duck Specialist (Chinatown)

This is 5pm! Look at how dark it is! Beautiful monuments!

Time for "Woman in Black" @ Fortune Theatre!

Yoghurt for supper at a place called "Snog"! Cute!!

After which, home sweet home to bed as it's an early morning to Paris!!

Til the next post!! :)

Friday the 13th

2012-01-13T23:26:00.001+08:00

Today is Friday the 13th. How was ur day? Mine.. Was jus.. Indescribable..

I was busy the whole morning at work. Screwed up some stuff and found out at my most hectic hour - 2pm Sg time. I was in such a state of panic that I was almost in tears and breaking out in sweat. Thanks to 1 of the sales guys I am close to aka Ding Ding and most definitely to the guys in my team - G & N for helping me out, and to my spot trader S for not blaming me too much.

Managed to resolve the issue after an hour and thanks to my team mates for not blaming me at all! Feel really blessed and touched for their help!! Was so worried and stressed that I had a headache and felt like puking. Phew!! Was busy the whole day after that.

Then.. I had an argument with Eeyore. Sigh... Sometimes words can be ugly even more so when the words are phrased as accusations. :( don't wanna talk or think about it anymore. Just wish for more understanding sometimes and not make my day worse than it already was.. Why is it so hard?

Anyway, dinner with El, Irene and Cher. Thanks for the lovely pressie and the nice dinner! Makes the horrible day better with friends and good team mates. Maybe that's really all that I need in life..

Life goes on.. Hope ur Friday the 13th was a lot better than mine!!!

Brief Recap of 2011

2012-01-10T18:39:00.006+08:00

Ok, I know I've disappeared from my blogging world again. I've tons to update!! And most importantly, I've missed out on my year end recap post. :( So here goes all updates in 1 post (hope I can cut the long story short by letting my pics do the talking, will try to put in pics that are not on FB but too lazy to edit any of the pics)!

Was on leave the last 2 weeks of December for the 1st time since I started working 7 years ago. Never ever have I taken off on my favorite month of the year! Met up with a few friends on and off. Eeyore fell sick the moment we started our leave from Fri to Tues. So I cooked for him everyday b4 I headed out. :p

17 Dec 2011 - Cho's place with at least 20 bottles of wines finished and a huge turkey for dinner. :D

18 Dec 2011 - Gathering at Lynnie's place for Kayden's 1 year old bday. ^.^

19 Dec 2011 - Meetup with Bee, Bingjie and Stacy for a cooking & baking day cum Xmas gift exchange @ Bingjie's new place! :)

20 Dec 2011 - Movie marathon with Eeyore - MI4, 那些年我们追过的女孩 & New Year's Eve. Most enjoyable!

21 Dec 2011 - Meetup with my Onz gang ladies who happen to all be on leave! Food + shopping! :)

22 Dec 2011 - Back to office for lunch with Soks and Shi Min. :D

23-29 Dec 2011 - KL where we played tennis, visited friends, went for massage and went to Faber's Hill. Saw the sign below (LOL) and waterfall. Saw some buddy bears too! Did scalp treatment twice.. FOC!!!

30 Dec 2011 - A day of luxury sponsored by dearest Peg. Manicure and pedicure spa cum a yummy Japanese buffet dinner! Countdown to my bday with Peg, MZ and Eeyore. :)

PS: Congrats to Sid and Stef on their wedding!!!

31 Dec 2011 - A quiet bday with lots of bday wishes! Had brunch with Eeyore at the place we went on our 1st date (Marmalade Pantry), then to GV Grand for Sherlock Holmes Gold Class, followed by dinner at Absinthe (awesome dinner!)! Beautiful day spent with the one I love! :D

And so, 2011 ends on a brilliant note! The year has really flown by in a blink of the eye. As usual, a year of ups and downs but definitely a year with more ups and downs.

Significant ups would be that I've regained contact of many wonderful friends whom I lost touch with throughout the years. I've had the best year of work ever despite not being able to take leave for a year til the end of it. Best review and appraisal from my peers and my manager. :) Gained recognition for my hardwork and efforts put in from my team!

Only 1 significant down point of the year - when my mentor was retrenched. That was the saddest day of the year where I cried in office uncontrollably like a mad person. Glad that he's finally found a job now and starting 2012 well!! (:

Overall, I'm happy with life and 2012 has started quietly. Hopefully I'll get some good news soon (I don't mean marriage!!) in terms of work. Keeping my fingers crossed for something that might happen but not getting my hopes up by too much lest I come crashing down with a huge thud. Let nature take its course and may 2012 be a good year for all!!!

Mucho Gracias!

2011-12-14T21:37:00.002+08:00

Year end party on 08 Dec 2011. Made me realize how much fun my team can be and how much I really do enjoy being in this department, how happy I am to be out of my previous department! Short of 3 traders in this pic but included our temporary secretary. Great nite out!

10 Dec - Dinner with Bee Ling, Stacy and Bingjie together with our partners! :) Kinda fun to be all paired up!

11 Dec - Dinner with my besties at Robertson Quay but Anne and Von couldn't make it. Nothing beats meeting up and catching up with my besties!!

Today, once again, I am really really honoured, touched and blessed to be in my current department. A surprise gift to thank me for my hardwork in the past 1.5 years with them. Unexpected present - Cartier earrings. The tri-gold colored earrings that they gave me was.. unbelievable!

It's not the cost, nor the brand. It's the thought that touched me most. It's my job to be their assistant but they said they realized all the effort I have put in and that I have made their lives very smooth and easy. Those words.. were more than enough to make me float in the air, without the present. Thank you for appreciating my efforts, thank you for showing me that you guys do appreciate me, thank you for what u guys claim as "pre-bonus", thank you for everything!

I do enjoy being here much as I also wish that I can be doing more or something else like sales or trading. But as long as I'm here, in this department, I'll give it my all and do my best!

Retrenchment.. Again..

2011-12-01T21:19:00.001+08:00

3rd round of retrenchment exercise in office today for the year. How many more rounds of this can we go through? How much more can we take? People from the 1st 2 rounds have yet to be able to find jobs.. And it's so near to Xmas time now!!

Economic downturn is affecting us all. 2012 will not be a good year for anyone. Euro debt crisis is bringing the whole world down and all we can do is hope n pray for the best.

Save your pennies for the rainy days my friends. Keeping my fingers crossed and I do regret agreeing to go to Sapporo in Jan now. I knew I shouldn't have... No idea why I said ok. And now.. I can only wish..

Good Palette

2011-11-30T23:31:00.004+08:00

Been a while since I posted with pics so here's some pics with updates!

Don't think I updated this last week but I was floating on air coz a stranger (lady) came up to me at the bus interchange to say I look pretty and slim. Not once, not twice but a minimum of three times. OK, I know this is a little thick skinned but it makes me happy so... Just bear with it ok? Hehe.

We had a broker event tonite -Wine tasting nite. My god.. It's brilliant!! We had so many different types of wines and I was the only one out of about 50 people to score 5/5! Perfect score!!! They had a specialist wine critic, Jeremy Oliver, who was there to talk about the wines and give his opinion. Along with a book that he wrote. He came up to me and asked for my opinion on the wines. After which, he told me I was the only who had it all correct! He said I had a fantastic palette and that I'll outshine him!!!

Wines that I had for tonite. Answer: B, B, B, A. The last 2 wine selections are not in this list.

Proud moment when he signed and wrote my name on the book!

Of coz the proudest moment was when he told everyone that I would make a marvelous apprentice with my palette!!! I swear I was damn proud at that moment coz never have I been known or told that I'm good with my wines/alcohol and my palette!! I always thought I was shit! Time to change job?? Hahahahaha! Sad to find out that Alicia has tendered her resignation (horrors!!) and she told me I was cut out for broker line (not the 1st person to tell me that.. or for Sales line for that matter).

Oh well, guess I was also extremely pleased when Sandra went around telling everyone that I was crucial on the desk coz I'm the only one who knows how everything should be done and makes sure it gets done. *blush* Many thanks to Charles who introduced me to the broker and asking me along for the third time!

It was Thai food nite for dinner yesterday and I made Rad Na, Tom Yum Goong and Stir Fried Kailan with Mushrooms. Proud of myself as dinner was actually good despite the mess in the kitchen due to the lack of time and ingredient. :) Sooooo happy!!!

Rad Na - Thai style hor fun but tastes different from local hor fun!

Stir Fried Kai Lan with Straw Mushrooms - my favorite!

Tom Yum Goong made from scratch!

Been having it good these days and I'm more than happy and thankful! Grateful and feeling blessed. ^.^ Thanks to everyone for making my day everyday!!!

Dinner with Old Clan

2011-11-28T22:14:00.001+08:00

A dinner with the old clan of folks - Bee, Felix, Ken, KK, Goldwin, Chuan, Justin. The only person missing was Marina and it would have been perfect and complete. The group I hung out with the most when I 1st joined this company. The group I went clubbing with every Friday then.

How much I miss this group of friends!! How much I miss the time when we all worked together on the same floor bickering and teasing one another!! Tonite felt the same as back then, as though all of us have never left. :)

For the 1st time, we arranged last Thursday evening and all of us turned up tonite. That is just amazing! And of coz everytime I talk to my dearest buddy KK, he makes me feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We will find out 2 months down the road but I know, there's always a way out no matter what happens.

Love all the groups of friends I've made in my life and treasuring all my friendships with all the lovely people!!

Coincidences

2011-11-26T22:15:00.001+08:00

I'll post about Europe trip once I've sorted the pics.. Soon I hope!

Anyway, ever believe in coincidences? I've had so many coincidences happening on the same day recently that it's getting a bit scary, but in a nice way.

Eg, yesterday around noon my manager asked if we did certain types of trades and I said I think so. Evening time around 4pm, my ex boss was doing that exact type of trade!!

And today, I went to visit gram. Was a little reluctant getting out of bed but I dragged myself up in the end. Glad I did! Went for breakfast with uncle Charles n aunt Marg at this coffee shop where it used to a restaurant we frequented, esp for celebrating gram's bday. The restaurant was owned by uncle Charles's friend and it's closed down now.

We chatted about the times we ate there in the past and of the owner. Then home we went. Dinner time came and Eeyore and I couldn't decide where to go for dinner. I suggested Casuarina prata at Pierce and he wanted fish soup at Dover.

I won eventually but upon reaching Pierce, he didn't want prata so I suggested the Chinese place next door. 車老闆.

I stared at the name as it's the surname of the boss who owned the restaurant I went to this morning. I looked at the guy taking orders in the shop. This skinhead guy... The familiar face.. And I went "OMG!!!". It's the same guy!!!

Unbelievable!! I am still in disbelief at how everything came about by chance! It's mind boggling! But I'm happy to have chosen to eat dinner there and happy to see this owner again. I'll be there again soon! :)

Time for Twilight at the cinema! Caring vampire and werewolf! :D

Europe Update 2

2011-11-15T21:34:00.001+08:00

Travelling on a tour bus from Cordoba to Granada now. They actually have wifi on the bus! Looking at the vast land and greenery with the sun shining brightly and typing this post is just awesome. This trip is proving to be a marvelous one thus far.

Winter in Europe is very different from winter in Asia. I like the experience of both and hopefully I get to travel more n experience more along the way.

Just saw on Facebook that 2 great friends of mine I knew when I 1st started working are getting married! Sooo happy for them!

Time to delete pictures on the bus ride for memory space. Til next time!

Quick Update of Europe Trip

2011-11-13T07:44:00.001+08:00

I'll do an update of my entire trip complete with pics when I'm back. For now, all I can say is.. I love Europe!!! I had an unbelievably amazing experience in France where I met nice and warm people. More update on that in the entire trip post.

Needless to say, plenty of charming guys who dress immaculately and soooo well! Eeyore kept pointing out the men to me! Haha. We were saying that he will definitely turn gay if he stays or lives in France. :)

And here I am now, in a country I love soooo much - Espanol!!! My beloved Spain!! Currently in Sevilla in a beautiful studio apartment resting. Having a terrible migraine from lack of sleep.

Weather here is super hot (Singapore weather) compared to France or London where it was chilly and nice at 12 degrees everyday. Not complaining coz night time is still a lot more cooling.

Just took 2 panadols so I'm off to bed soon as migraine is finally gone for now. Til the next post, take care all!!

**dreaming big.. living and loving it**

Great Week!

2011-11-06T06:39:00.001+08:00

It was a great week before I went on my holiday!

Mon (31 Oct) - finally had a good catch up session with Zhen after 10 years. Our friendship broke during college times n I never knew the reasons til Monday. Nor did I know that the best friend I hung out with in school daily actually liked me but denied it in front of me when we talked about it, yet admit to Zhen. Anyway, it was eons ago and I'm glad to have found my close gf back again. :)

Tues (01 Nov) - dinner with my dearest brothers cum close guy friends since 10 years back - Luke, Vic and Alwyn. Went for dinner at a place called Celina's where the alcohol was amazing! Food was also yummy and overall, fantastic companion made it all work well!

Wed (02 Nov) - drinks with Jackson mentor. I miss talking to him in office! He's the only guy on the team I know I can confide in and he could tell lots of stuff without me saying. Kristian, my London trader, was also there n some of the sales guys too. PSM especially.. made it very awkward for us but then, knowing him these many years now, I guess I'm used to it. ^.^

Thurs (03 Nov) - drinks with my Onz group from ops. Same old place with the same old clan. Love my little gatherings and this group of crazy wild folks. It was a nite of endless laughter and chatter!

Fri (04 Nov) - last minute meet up with Zoey as she was at my office building for some training. Went to Novena with her to check out a dance studio then off to Bishan for dinner. :) Great friends don't come by easily so I treasure more.

After which was a mad rush to pack my bags for my trip the next morning where I needed to be at the airport by 7am. Packing completed only at 2am. Barely slept on the plane and here I am now in London. More to update but I have been awake for more than 24 hours now with only an on and off 30mins nap here n then so I'm heading off to bed. ;) more to update soon!

Kudos to Great Friends! :)

2011-10-30T20:04:00.001+08:00

It sucks to be sick right now - I'm not sure if I'm considered sick but I vomited once on a weekday this week n twice a few hours ago. But I'm once again grateful and thankful for fantastic caring friends buying me dinner before they go for their own dinner. 5 people walked to the market opposite my house just to buy me dinner.

Boy, I'm really really touched! Thanks to the 5 of you for buying me dinner before going for your own!! Most heartfelt appreciation from me. Thanks Sid, Stef, Jean, JW and gf! :) Sorry I had to pull out of dinner last minute.

1 more week to my long awaited trip! Can't wait and I hope to get well soon enough to go for it! 1st trip to Europe! Woohoo!!!

Stacy's House Visit and New Seat Move!

2011-10-22T15:11:00.006+08:00

Was at Stacy's place last nite after work. I love her house!!! It's the kind of place that I've been wanting for myself. But, I don' t have the money to afford it. :(

Bee Ling was not feeling well so had to pull out from our gathering. Stacy cooked dinner for us and made Korean ginseng soup. Bingjie made macaroons and brought them over. As for me, I brought wine and chips. Hehehe. I have chef friends so I shall sponsor the drinks and snacks.

Our girlie talk ended at 1.30am. Sooo tired that I was dozing off as they were talking. Haha. :X Embarrassing. But we had fun and it was nice to visit Stacy's house especially to see Tatie, Stacy's fat male cat who went from being aloof to being on my lap half the nite. I'm not a big fan of cats actually. I'm a dog person but this cat behaves sooo much like a dog, I didn't feel that it was a cat at all!! LOL! Poor Tatie lost his sweet little partner 2 weeks ago from liver failure.. :( Let's hope we can find Mr Handsome a partner soon!

And I've finally changed seats in office! Was annoyed on Thursday by the tech guy but finally got it done. I LOVE my new seat!! LOVE!! It's at the corner so I have no one on my left and on my right is an empty table meant only for visitors or my backup when I'm on leave. Woooohooo!!! Not to mention the little ledge I have on my left where I can put my stuff so my table looks more spacious now!

The best part of the seat is... THE VIEW!!! I get to look and stare at the sky and sea while typing or doing my work. Otherwise, I can stare at the TV while doing my work. Lovely and absolutely fantastic!! I used 20 pieces of wet tissue cleaning up the entire table that was so dusty and dirty but I'm ultra satisfied now. I'll be more than happy to go to work now.

Here's a picture of my new desk being blessed by the lion at our opening ceremony before I even took over the desk. May everything go well and smooth for me from now on!

To dearest Venus

2011-10-21T09:58:00.001+08:00

1st thing that I saw on Facebook this morning was the demise of a beloved dog, Venus. Venus is a labrador owned by Tom and his family. I still remember those days where I would go to Tom's house when he was at work and it was just Venus and me in the house, by ourselves. Planet and Cosmo were not allowed in the house unless Uncle was home.

Venus would be by my side wherever I walked. When I was sick or unhappy, she could sense it and would nudge me every now and then. I've had beautiful moments spent alone with this gorgeous dog that will be etched in my memory forever.

So goodbye for now my dearest Venus. Rest in peace. I'll miss you forever and may we meet again someday, somehow.

Perforation in Right Ear

2011-10-11T10:14:00.001+08:00

I have a perforation in my right ear, which is causing the pain. My doctor and I are not sure if it was caused by the wakeboarding (where I heard a little pop when I fell in the water) or was it from the previous ear infection. The little hole is at the top part of my outer ear. So the middle part of my ear is a little exposed now.

I've been given antibiotics but no ear drop. Gotta keep the ear clean and dry and let it heal on its own. Doc says that as long as I don't experience any loss of hearing, it's still alright. Otherwise, I might need to go for a small op. Worst case scenario will be deafness.

Am I worried? Am I scared? Hmm.. A little I guess. But of coz I'm hoping for the best. Not gonna worry too much unduly and take everything as it comes. Will I go wakeboarding again? Hell yeah! Haha. It's not gonna deter me though I'll be more careful in future. :)

Life's still good as far as I know, in my humble opinion. ^.^

WWW - Wakeboarding & Wayne's Wedding

2011-10-09T18:05:00.003+08:00

It's been quite an eventful weekend thus far - despite headaches in between from yesterday til today which had to be cured by Panadols on both days. My life seems to revolve medication now which doesn't seem too good but whatever.. I'm still enjoying my life as it is.

Friday was spent well - had my 1 drink as promised with Ben. Then met up with Bee for some shopping and catching up at Orchard. I still owe her a birthday pressie. After shopping, it was time for massage and it was soooo good, I fell asleep! Slept at 1am..

So when Saturday morning came, obviously I was in a foul mood for having to wake up at 6.30am. Blew a little tantrum but was quickly ok thereafter coz .. it was time for my 1st go at wakeboarding!!! Woohoo!!! It was enjoyable to watch everyone do it and be sooo good at it. I'm a beginner and quite a lousy one. Haha. I managed to stand up a few times but can't hold it there for long.

Thank goodness for great friends who went with me - Charmaine, Ben, Sid, Stef and Eeyore - but most importantly, it should be kudos to Jeremy who was very patient in teaching me, giving me advice and persuading me to do the last run. Coz the last round was the one where I was able to hold on and wakeboard for the longest time! :))))))

Soooo happy and excited to have my 1st ever wakeboard experience! Not sure if there's any photos (Sid, any pics?) coz I kept insisting not to take pics of me (coz I can't stand on the board). But still, yay!! I'm happy though I now suffer from muscle aches from my neck down to my feet. Every part of me is in pain - including my chest and head (from falling face 1st into the water many times)! So that's where the Panadol comes in.. To cure my headaches which I'm suffering from due to the wakeboarding falls. :p

Went for Wayne's wedding last nite. For my close friends esp Jean, they will know that Wayne is my ex-bf. We started dating for the 1st time when I was 15 - he was 1 of my 1st ex-bfs. We broke up and got together again when I was 18. We broke up again and got together again when I was 20. We broke up again. It's weird that after 3 times, we have never been together for more than a year (at 1 stretch).

We dated again in 2008, a few months after Howdy and I broke up. We never got together for the 4th time. I kept thinking to myself that if we didn't work out for 3 times prior to that, what makes us think we can do it for a 4th time? And while dating, I realised where the problem was so I decided not to even start the 4th time. And now, he is happily married. :)

Might seem weird to attend his wedding then? I dunno. I didn't feel too much emotions. Maybe coz I had a massive headache at the wedding and had to buy my most expensive Panadol from the hotel ever or maybe, to me, I knew it wasn't possible right from the start so there was nothing to be upset about, or maybe I've really gotten over him.

Anyway, when I 1st knew Wayne, it was with a group of friends - Wayne, Luke, Vic and Al. All 4 of us were close friends and I'm still close with all 4 of them, so are Vic and Al. But Wayne and Luke have fallen out so I never get to see all 4 of them together again. Last nite, Vic and I were the only ones there and I'm glad for his company the whole nite. My gentlemanly friend was ever so caring and sweet to me. I know I'll always treasure our friendship coz it's been 14 years and counting.

And so, I'm posting up the pic of my dear friend Vic, who was there with me in every way and we were the only ones who knew each other last nite. :)

What saddened me was when we went to shake the hands of the newly weds and their parents last nite, Wayne's parents remembered me.. So did his siblings. His younger sis has always adored me and she told her mum that I was at the wedding. Auntie shook my hand and held my hand very tightly. Kept saying that I still looked pretty and if I'm married. She even thought Vic was my bf!! Haha. We talked a bit about the past and she teared.. It was sad to see Auntie being unhappy.

I know that she treats me like her own daughter. All 3 times with Wayne, Auntie has been really nice and wonderful to me. Breaks my heart to see her upset. Maybe she really wanted me to be her daughter-in-law but I'm sorry things never worked out that way between Wayne and I. I promised to be in touch with her and to meet up with her - even if Wayne and I didn't work out, I'm sure I can still be friends with Auntie. She has been good to me all along - I should reciprocate and care for her like my own mum - even though I'm not married to her son. I think that's the least I can do and of coz, I wish her happiness always! Can't wait to meet up with her and re-continue our friendship.

And lastly, a crazy picture of my feet! 1st time I ever use such a bright red colour on my toes. Just for the fun of it anyway - easy to paint the colour on and it's so bright and red that it perks me up. :D Haha.

A Tribute To Steve Jobs - An Inspiration!

2011-10-06T23:59:00.001+08:00

While waiting for my hair to dry, I decided to blog a post.

My team had 2 broker dinners arranged tonight. Obviously I had to pick one but seems like both dinners went wild tonight from what I heard!!!
So there I was at Oso, having dinner with a couple of guys on my team and 2 brokers, jus chatting and chilling. Found out quite a number of things tonight! :)

1) their opinion of me
2) how lowly paid I am and how highly paid they thought I was. They couldn't believe that after lowering the annual pay they thought I was getting by 3 times, it was still not low enough. Haha. Pathetic life of mine
3) that I should leave this company despite my close relationship with my team (they are supportive of that idea too)

I have been toying with the idea of leaving for long enough. Tried to leave twice but still stayed on. Maybe it's time to go. Steve Job's death today was an awakening to me. I read an article which was his commencement address at Stanford College. His words were beautiful, bringing tears to my eyes. You can read it and view the clip from the link below.

http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

Meaningful quotes from the article:
"You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life"

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

"If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

"Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish"

I'm sorry.. That's almost the whole article now. Meant for this to be a short blog post but it's so long now. But I really like those words from him! PSM sent me the link to the article n told me to follow my heart. Don't settle for anything less if it's not a job that I don't like.

It's not that I don't like my job or the people I work with. I love both of that. I'm happy but at the same time, I'm hungry.. Hungry for more knowledge and experience. If all things go well per what was discussed tonight at dinner, I might leave this company sooner than expected. But I'm going to take what was said with a pinch of salt since the guys were kinda high when we discussed it.

F from work did tell me once never to go into this certain line of work. But I need and want the experience. I know the job will be tough.. I'm willing to give it a shot if I have the chance when I'm still young. So we'll see how it goes though no hopes = no disappointment. :)

And for the 1st time in my life, I went to a karaoke lounge (nightclub?) - with mama-san and girls!!! A little awkward for me to be there but I was dragged along. Kinda interesting though and I sure saw a different side of the guys! Haha. :p

To Steve Jobs, thanks for being a great man with far visions and dreams. For creating Apple, iPhones, iPads, Macs, etc. My life was made interesting coz of u and u will be sorely missed by lots of people. U r an inspiration and u have given me hope once again. Thank you!

Fire Starter - Fire Engine Required?

2011-10-05T15:10:00.001+08:00

Something happened that made me kinda unhappy. Maybe that person is right - I like to send out wrong signals and start fires. Strong words used like "hate her.. acted noble.. look down on her.."

Maybe I really do behave that way but that's just me and I've been like this all my life. Judge me for my behavior below and maybe I need a fire engine.

I stroke the head of my male colleague in office. I talk rubbish with them. I treat everyone the same - coz I believe that if I'm nice to someone, they will be nice to me. So I treat the guys equally n whine jus like how I'll do to my family n friends.

I address Dilun as "Di Di" although he's now married to Jean. I call my sister endearingly on office phone as dear or darling. I'm sorry if people don't like it.

But like what my teacher used to tell me when I told him about people not liking the way I act or behave - You can't please the world. Just be yourself. True friends will stick by you and still like you as you are.

So thank you to the friends who told me to ignore what others think about me. I appreciate and am blessed to have u guys by my side.

To the person who now hates me and totally ignored me when I asked for clarification of what I did, thank u for letting me know. And congrats to u for finding someone new in your life. Wishing u happiness always.

Coz to me, friends are for life - I've lost many along the way. I like to treat everyone well from the bottom of my heart and care for them genuinely. I give hugs to guys openly just as I do to girls. So while I wish for happiness for everyone, I'll wish the same for you.

And I'll no longer dwell on this subject and be upset for the entire day anymore. Coz my name is magz and I've been thro hell and back. Nothing's gonna bring me down nor make me upset for long. Life's too short for that.

Til the next happy post - hopefully soon! :)

Congratulations to Jean and Dilun!!!

2011-10-03T22:15:00.003+08:00

Been a crazy couple of weeks so far. Working my ass off at work with OT almost everyday and even working on weekends. Not sure how appreciated I am but still.. That's life I guess.

The only 2 days where I didn't work til too late was coz the gals and I were working on the props for dearest Jean and Dilun's wedding! Yup, another bestie is now someone else's wife! :) Sooo happy for them that their love has blossomed to the marriage stage.

But since there was no speech for the wedding, I'm gonna be very extra and write a speech for my dear friend here.

Dearest Jean and Dilun, words cannot express my joy and happiness to see both of u finally tying the knot and being husband and wife. 7 long years of dating is a very long time and I'll never forget how we met as friends, and all the things we've done together as friends. All the ups and downs that we've been through, that we've shared as friends.. Are truly treasured memories in my life and I'm glad to have known you guys! Dilun, pls take care of my dear friend who can be blur and emo sometimes but is a wonderful lovely person inside. Do not break her fragile little heart and cherish and treasure her always!!

PS: Thanks JW for the instant edit and upload of pic of us 5 so that I can put it on my blog!!! :) Most appreciated!!

And on to a little bit of sad/bad news. My beloved SG boss who is head of APAC has decided that being the head of many teams is not what he wants.. He's only interested in trading and that's what he wants to focus on. So once again, I'm gonna have a change in heads and my team is getting smaller yet again. Since I joined this department, we have gone from 11 people to the current 6.. Very depressing and demoralizing....

Oh well, time to focus on other stuff to make myself happier I guess. And can you believe it? I'm attending my ex-bf's wedding this Saturday.. I know I'm weird..

Of Anniversary & Weddings

2011-09-21T19:04:00.007+08:00

A very fruitful and busy week past me by - with mostly work. This post will be more pics than words coz the previous post was really wordy. :)

16 Sep marks 3 years with Eeyore. A yummylicious dinner at Raffles Grill was satisfying!

My starter - Remoulade of crab and zest symphony. Every mouthful had a different flavour burst! :D

Main - Omaha beef tenderloin, baby ratte potato, girolles with madeira sauce

Desserts!

Raspberry & Lime (something) - This was heavenly!

Chocolate & Coffee (something again)

Flowers & Me!

17 Sep - My sis's bday! Happy bday!!! Went for brunch with my secondary school girlies to celebrate Bee Ling's last day as a free and single woman. :) Headed to Spruce and after a good meal, we went crazy with Stacy's props and took 400+ pics!!

We perspired, laughed and had tons of fun! It was as if we were back to the days where we were 16 once again! Young and carefree! How I miss that!

So here goes my fave 2 pics!

18 Sep - Dearest Bee Ling's wedding day! She made us tear at her wedding with her wonderfully written speech to thank her guests. A big thank you to my secondary school friends for bringing me back into the group after losing contact for the last 12 years! Congrats to Adrian and Bee Ling!!

And to end off the post, a pic of me at the wedding. :)

A month now..

2011-09-11T12:40:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the long absence. Haven't been in the best of health for the last couple of weeks but glad it's getting better now. Most importantly, glad to finally be able to blog on mobile (thanks S for letting me know!).

Blogging now while on cab to Choa Chu Kang for baby shower.. Sorry, a very long post to update the last month's event!

A very nice Bear came to pick me up and sent me to the Chinese doctor to rub my ankle after a week of it being swollen. Thanks lots!! Still a bit painful now but I'll keep rubbing it. :)

Bugged by a very bad headache on 22 Aug n I took my 1st mc for the year. Worked from home quite a bit too. Went to see Dr Siew (my fave doc) and took medication for the horrifying acne problem on my face too.

Had my 1st ever eyebrow embroidery n eyelash perming on 23 Aug. Finally no more drawing of eyebrows! If u ask me if it was painful, I'll say yes though I know there are others who will say no. I'm scared of needles and pain of such! Thanks to J who accompanied me for 3 hours plus!! Very touched!!

25 Aug - I had broker dinner at Margarita's @ Dempsey. Before I went for dinner, my only other female trader was upset coz she felt left out that she's never been asked to go for broker dinners. I kept asking her to come but she didn't want to so I told the guys to remember to ask her along next time. Though normally no invitation is required. U hear them talking about it, jus say 'I wanna go too!!' haha, that's how the guys work..

26 Aug - Impressive and definitely very memorable Jacky Cheung 1/2 Century World Tour. I cried when he sang the ballads. I think a lot of girls did too (from what I read on newspapers and word of mouth). It was so filled with feelings and brought out a lot of emotions in us. Such a powerful singer! 1st concert I ever watched was Jacky Cheung's concert in 2008. :)

Mon came again (29 Aug) and I was sick again! My dear old friend, Mr UTI, came back to look for me! Burning sensation below that caused me to break out into cold sweat was no fun! Back to see fave doc again and was given mc but only left office at 4pm..

Celebrated Cher's bday with dinner at Sushi Tei on 31 Aug. Was a nice quiet event whereby we left around 10pm coz we were tired from work..

01 Sep - Josh's baby girl, Kiera, is born!! I've attached the picture using mobile upload but not sure if it works. Had a terrible pain in my abdomen and back area the whole morning but glad that it was ok by 10am..

Met up with Meng after work coz he was in the area for Comex show then met Bee for dinner. Missed out on a broker dinner where my female trader was asked to go. :)

02 Sep - Crazy Friday! Had 2 breakfasts! Rotisserie sandwich that was absolutely yummy and abalone hokkien mee cooked by Dai Lo! Sooo full that I skipped lunch. It was also te day where we moved office so everyone ended work early.

Drinks at Paulaners, then Harrys, followed by Oenotheque and ended at Boulevard. All in 3 hours. Went to Bingjie's filming thingy and was interviewed though I hope my segment will be cut out!!

04 Sep - Back to office to unpack the stuff. I like the new office better than the old only coz of where I'm sitting now and that everything is cleaner. Also the fact that I'm nearer my sis n cousins now.

1st official day at work on 05 Sep. I ended up going home n belching away after work. The smell of glue, paint and thinner enhanced by the severe lack of air (Aircon at my area not working!!) made me feel so awful. Felt as though I had brain damage.

After puking, Irene and I went to Cher's grandma's wake. :( not a happy event for sure.

Went to the wake again on Wed nite (07 Sep) with El, before Cher's gram was cremated on Thurs. Saw CY there - he's lost weight but still looks as tired.

Been more than a year since we last contacted. I didn't say hi to him n I'm glad to think that he doesn't recognize me. His gf is someone I don't wanna mess with coz she's mad and I'll gladly steer clear.

Told Cher that I'll try to take time off from work on Thurs morning to be there for her during the cremation but Irene was on mc and I had to cover her work as well as my own so I couldn't leave office at all. :( hope she stays strong!

08 Sep - Last minute table tennis session with the guys at work. Playing barefoot and in a dress was interesting. Barefoot is normal but dress was something new. Reminds me of the good old uni days!! I miss those uni guys!!

Drinks at Harrys after badminton @ Orchard Towers. Not the best location in the world coz the men all stared at me weird when I went ladies. Eeeeee!

09 Sep - Aunt Mic has left us for 2 years.. :( I still remember that day vividly as with mum and dad's departure.

Was very tired actually but dragged down to The Bank for drinks as it was Matt's last day with us. He's being transferred to work in HK.

10 Sep - Ran around to 3 different supermarkets to cook dinner for sis's bday. All worth it coz she really liked an enjoyed it. :)

Something I'll like to say to S who let me know about mobile blogging.. I dunno if u still read my blog or not. But still, I wanna tell u that I really miss u.. As a friend, as someone who is always there for me. I still hold u deep in my heart coz I treasured and still treasure every happy moment then. Take care and be well..

Rollercoaster Week

2011-08-13T14:53:00.004+08:00

Some good and bad moments this week.

Drinks last Friday with broker, traders and a couple of sales guys came along. Jacko came along too! Got to know a girl from broker called Alicia who was super friendly and we hit it off right away. We ended up chatting tog the whole nite! Haha. 1st time that I see almost everyone high from drinking! Luckily I was still quite alright. :p

Went to work extra early on Monday morning in anticipation of a very busy day due to the US downgrade. Work load was pretty normal surprisingly. By 10am, I was drained from work and the very nice pantry lady made me a cup of green tea without me asking her to. She wanted to make me coffee but saw that I already had a cup of coffee before that, hence gave me green tea instead. Small little action but extremely sweet and heartwarming to me. :) Dinner with Irene from sales and Yuhui after work as Irene would be leaving SG to work in HK office. :( Wish I can go with her too...

Tues was the day where it went crazy at work. Market was the most volatile in my 14 months into this job. On Singapore's national day - I doubt bankers in Treasury department had time to think of fireworks or any celebrations. Everyone should be busy sitting at their desks monitoring the markets. :(

Wed - went to Chris's house to play with his new puppy and collect some stuff. Saw my boss's kids along the way while walking the dog. I must say they are 2 pretty lil gals who look exactly like their parents. :)

Thurs - Many a FML moment. I have no rich parents so I know that my immediate family (ie, my dad, mum, sis and I) are bound to be neglected by certain people. But pls, don't spoil my morning by making it THAT obvious. Totally spoilt my day. Then at work, I was outrightly rejected when I asked for help despite me having to help that person many a time. Good job! 1 way road when it comes to helping others. FML seriously.

Went for drinks and dinner with a broker, a trader and the trainee on my desk at Yantra Tanglin Mall. Apparently after dinner, the 3 guys went for drinks at Brix and the story was that 3 dudes went for drinks, 4 people came out of the place. Hahahaha. :X

Drinks session with most of the people from various departments after work. We had to relax and chill out after the craziest week at work ever. Only 12 days of August have passed, but it seriously feels like a whole month has passed. It's that insane. We are all zapped of our energy. Went to Boulevard at office downstairs, had a few beers and we crossed the road to Oenotheque for Irene's farewell drinks of beers and whisky.

When we were leaving, Irene's ex colleague, Irene and myself cried! Round 1! :( So embarrassing! I'll really miss her.. She's always been like a sister to me in office. Always sweet and nice to me. Another wonderful person leaving the office. Sigh... Went to Suntec to meet Lynnie, Bee and Felix for dinner at Tonkichi. I feel bad though.. I was late for 1.5 hours and I had to rush off after being there for an hour. :( I'm sooooo SORRY!!!! Gotta make it up to them next time.

Headed back to Oenotheque to look for Yuhui who had joined the farewell drinks while I was at dinner. Had a quarrel on the phone in front of my colleagues. I disgraced myself in front of the sales head whom I'm trying to get myself into his team. FML FML FML!!!! Sigh... Then coz I was really angry and annoyed, I started tearing.. And Yuhui kept trying to comfort me. Irene joined in and all 3 of us ended up crying coz we really can't bear for her to leave. SIGHHHHHH

Yuhui and I finally left Oenotheque to meet up with the rest of our own team who were at Kha @ Robertson Quay. The broker whom I really like and once had a deep discussion with was there too. He's getting married in Sydney in December in a lil farm 1 hour away from Sydney. So sweet! And the whole nite, we talked a lot about relationships and marriage. From conversations to discussions to debates. It was all quite funny. With a lot of wine and sitting there til the restaurant closed and we had to leave, I really enjoyed myself.

Only problem now is that while running out of the restaurant to get the damned cab, I didn't see that there was a step down from the grass area and landed weirdly on my ankle. So my left ankle is slightly swollen now and I'm still contemplating if I should see the chinese doctor. Think I'll leave it for now and try to monitor the condition. Yes I'm stubborn.. And I'm thinking of going for a run.. I feel like 1...

Another FML moment - I can't find my diamond rings!!! I had 3 and while packing my cupboards last year, I put them somewhere else. I've been searching for them for 6 months now and I still can't find them.. I wanna kill myself!!! 1 of the rings was bought in Turkey when I was there on holiday!!! ARGH!!!!!!

21 years and counting...

2011-08-04T19:56:00.002+08:00

Irene cried last night. Her son has a form of autism - a bit of ADHD and has some problems understanding questions and responding to it. Not to mention that he is also quite a weak boy in terms of his health. I know how she feels as a mother.. Worried and hence the tears. But he's still young and lots of kids have such problems. They will outgrow it in future.

So I told her about me when I was young. I refused to talk to anyone til I was about 4 or 5. Refused as in I never uttered a single word. When visitors came to our house, I'll run and hide in the room til they have left before coming out of the room. That was me. Gram thought I was born deaf and dumb so she made mummy bring me to the doctor for checkups.

Then as I grew older, I started talking. But I also kept falling sick. Had to see the doctor almost once or twice a month. I know mummy was very sad about my condition. Maybe it stressed her out too, just like how it is for Irene now. Maybe that's why mummy decided to leave me on this very date today. :(

While talking to Irene, my own sadness overwhelmed me. Caught me by surprise too! Was trying my best not to think or dwell about it the whole day til that moment. But I know mummy's looking out for me so I'm contented. :)

Somehow my blogger site looks weird today.. Makes me feel weird blogging.

Hope all goes well for Irene and her son!

All Of You Are My Guardian Angels!!

2011-08-02T19:18:00.006+08:00

I think I've said this quite a number of times but once again, I am glad and thankful that I'm blessed with nice people and friends. And 1 thing I know for sure - I'll never regret my decision to move to this department to be surrounded by even more wonderful people.

K bought a bottle of herbal tea for me during lunch, much to my surprise. I'm having this horrendous pimple outbreak and he noticed it while we were chatting last evening at work when I worked late. The herbal tea buying was a out of the blue moment for me and I was really touched. :) Thanks K for the wonderful thought!

Sometime back, when I was hungry, B gave me Kinder Bueno. 1 of the mornings last week, I was hungry and he bought me siew mai. Somedays he'll give me apples. Or my favourite corn soup from MOS Burger coz I'm feeling cold and hungry in the office. All the little actions touched my heart. Thanks for being a great friend cum buddy!

And thanks to Yuhui for helping me buy my last minute request - my latest love and my beloved treasure. A present I bought for myself after 3 long years of abstaining from buying such stuff. :) A beautiful choice by Yuhui and I know she had to go to the shop 3 times to look for it. Much appreciated!!!

Of coz I won't forget the other friends who are not in office whom I know will always be there for me, caring for and looking after me. Like J who will buy dinner for me sometimes or simply just meet me for dinner coz she knows I'm too lazy. Glad to be able to help at her wedding photoshoot coz it makes me happy to know that she's found her happiness!

There's also SS who asked if I needed food and were more than willing to cook dinner for me coz I wasn't well sometime back. Not to mention the yummylicious stuff that I benefit from their cooking.

Then there's Ah Bee who has always been there for me regardless of the situations. And definitely many many more whom I'm missing out to mention here or this post will probably take 10 pages and more!

From the bottom of my heart, thank u to ALL my friends! Yes, ALL as in everyone who is my friend! I really really appreciate your care, concern and love for me as friends!

2 days later marks my mummy's departure from this planet for 21 years. On a day when I'm filled with sadness, love fills my heart and warms me up. I'll be going for drinks with a group of friends tomorrow to fill up the emptiness in my life with some warmth and definitely, some alcohol. Then I'll think of mummy alone on Thursday. I miss my mummy forever but I know she's sent lots of guardian angels to protect and care for me til she gets to do it herself again.

So til then, I'll always cherish all the guardian angels aka my friends til the end of my time! Love always!!

Friendships

2011-07-29T23:19:00.003+08:00

I actually have been meeting up with long time old friends recently.

Met up with my secondary school girlfriends few weeks back and again, last week. Bee & Stacy! 2 of my closer girlfriends! Really glad to meet up with them after 13 years! We still had lots to talk about, and were just as close as we used to be in school days. I really miss old friends heaps and love them lots! As we chatted, I realised that all of us have been through a lot. But we're here for one another now and that's what matters most. :)

Met up with Winston today - another long time old friend whom I've known since I was 16 but have lost contact for quite a few years now. He always calls me Brother in public. Coincidentally he works at the same building as me now but on the 7th floor. Had lunch with him today and I discovered that he's been through so so much! His mum and my dad both passed away in 2008. His daughter was also born in 2008 and he had a tumour in 2008. My goodness.. How much did he go through all in a year?? Pleased that he's been through it all now and hope that all will go well for him now. We've also promised not to lose contact again! :)

Agnes won the vertical challenge today! 8 mins for 44 storeys! She's really amazing and determined! So a few of us went for drinks to celebrate at Harry's. Got to know Sharel and she's kinda cute. :) Haha. 6 years of friendship with Agnes and she told everyone my true character - I am someone who cherishes friendships and holds friends dear in my heart. ^.^

So I've been re-contacting and keeping in touch with old friends, and also getting to know new friends. I'm contented~!

Fina World Swimming Championships 2011

2011-07-28T18:51:00.003+08:00

For the whole of this week, my mind and soul have flown to Shanghai - the Fina Swimming World Championships is on! I try my best to rush home every nite after work just to do 1 thing - watch the swimming action live. But in case I miss it, I have set my timer to record the heats in the morning and the live action at nite. :)

Have always loved and enjoyed watching sports action on TV. I go crazy whenever there's Olympics, World Cup, or whatever sports action I can get to watch live, including sacrificing my sleep.

Of coz, Michael Phelps is the man that I like currently for swimming. And Ryan Lochte too! It used to be Ian Thorpe but he retired. :( Swimming action means a lot to me coz grandpa insisted that all his grandchildren learn swimming since we were kids and I've always fancied water (despite the fact that I nearly drowned in the sea a couple of times). It's still a big part of me no matter what.

But Michael is gonna retire after the 2012 Olympics in London. And I think I'm gonna be really really sad after that. Need to find a new idol for swimming after that! Haha. But for now, I'm going to enjoy every single moment watching the action live in the pool daily!

Carpe Diem!

2011-07-27T20:06:00.002+08:00

Had a wonderful broker nite out with my team and Jackson came along too. :) We even invited our trainee, Andrew, from Sydney along. At drinks downstairs (Harry's), an ex colleague SM was there too and we did some catching up.

Then off we went to dinner at Ristorante Bologna located at Marina Mandarin. Even before ordering dinner, we were doing shots and vodka and wine. Broker kept disturbing Andrew and Andrew, being egoistic, kept taunting broker back. Had to do 4 shots in a row (supposed to be 5 but I helped him with a shot) and after that, he was half gone (I asked him this morning how much of last nite can he remember and that was where his recollection ended).

Plenty more drinks later, poor Andrew couldn't walk straight - even had to use me to steady himself. Haha. Yet, ego still kicked in and some of the guys went on for 2nd round with him while I headed off home. Had a good catch up session with Jackson as well while the others drank and chatted and ate. :) Overall, I felt the whole nite was brilliant! Lotsa fun and laughter though part of it came from seeing Andrew drunk. Lol!

I am really treasuring every moment with my team now. Nothing is for certain anymore and I might as well just make the best of my time spent here. Be happy and enjoy and treasure every moment! Carpe Diem!!!

Hope Kelv gor's mum recovers soon!!!

The Ugly Truths

2011-07-16T14:22:00.003+08:00

14 July 2011

A day where for the 1st time, I saw the harsh realities of the world I work in. My mentor cum good friend, Jackson, was retrenched for no rhyme and reason. Everyone who works with him knows him as Mr Nice Guy who has been with the bank for 13 years. And that's what the bank did to him.

That dreadful morning, he was being bullied by the team to treat coffee coz he was on the morning shift but came a bit late. As I was downstairs helping the team to get the coffee, he was told the news. I came up and my colleague told me that Jackson was retrenched. I told my colleague to not joke and he said he wasn't. Tears fell from my eyes uncontrollably. Silent hot tears slowly rolled down my cheeks.

Jackson was the 1 who 1st interviewed me, who thought highly of me and wanted the rest of the team to meet me and hire me. He was the one who taught me everything I needed to know now. We shared many secrets between us and he trusted me with things going on in his family. He was 1 of my best friends on the floor cum the 1 person whom I talk to the most about stuff. Without him, I wouldn't be where I am right now..

As Jackson came back from HR to pack his things, he even finished up his end of day commentary to send to our London colleagues. That is how freaking responsible he is!! What did he do to deserve this?!! I hate our London counterparts coz they think way too highly of themselves and backstabs everyone which did Jackson in along the way. Assholes! I really detest these London bastards who are so arrogant. They will not come to a good end.

After Jackson has packed his stuff, the whole team just abandoned all work n sat around to chat for an hour before he had to leave. I couldn't control my tears at all!! How embarrassing! And when he finally looked at me and shook his head, I bawled. The sad, dejected and disappointed look in his eyes and on his face caused memories of the past 1 year to flash thro my mind. Couldn't hold back anymore. :( Sigh..

Since then, the whole team has been in this really nonchalant mood - we sit around as a team to chat more than we work. When we work, we are soulless people who will rather listen to MP3s and work. My boss is upset too and he's decided to take a couple of days off. We know it's not his fault so we don't blame him. It's those above him and his counterparts who are the fuckers.

My team went for drinks that nite (We stopped work by 4pm since no one was in the mood.. honestly who cares? Working hard doesn't pay off anyway!) and we really jus drank, talked and drank more. Wonder when our morale will be back to normal. But I know 1 thing for sure - I will always keep in touch with Jackson as a friend. He will always always be a good friend to me despite not working together anymore. I hope he gets a job with the brokers. Then we can all hang out together again! We even checked with the brokers - they are more than happy to hire him!

Hopefully, this turns out to be a blessing in disguise for him n prove all those bastards wrong!

Thanks Gordon!

2011-07-05T19:36:00.007+08:00

Did a basic body checkup on Sunday morning. I'm 49.9kg.. 0.1 more kg to reach 50kg. That's the target but luckily, it wasn't what I expected my weight to be. Not a very fair result though coz I hadn't had food for the last 14 hours when I went for the checkup (dinner was at 8pm and checkup was at 11am).

I'm still underweight - BMI & BMR says that. Visceral Fat is at a fantastic level of 1 - the least that anyone can have. Phew.. The lady doing the checkup thought I was only 24 years old. YAY! Haha. The system somehow manages to calculate the age of the body through weight, height and some other factors. It says that I have a body of a 19 year old. :p I'm happy with that but the lady said that an age difference of + or - 10kg is not good. BOO!

Anyhow, my blood pressure was very low on the 1st test. 2nd test was slightly higher but still low. Somehow heartbeat was pretty slow - dying? Which reminded me of the time when Jer was sick and I went to the doc with him. Doc took Jer's blood pressure and stuff, had a look at me n mentioned that I looked more sick than Jer was coz I had nose block. He took my blood pressure and it was also way too low. Told me to take more iron. Guess.. Something has to be done again now? :(

Even my metabolism was below normal - normal is about 1200, I'm 1148. Not too bad but still low. So I decided to do some exercise in the afternoon. Went to the gym for a 2km run, a 2km cycle and a 20 lap swim in a 25m pool. Pretty decent I guess but some abs pain now. :) Good kind of pain so I don't mind.

Took a day off work yesterday (04 July) after 5 consecutive months of endless working. Decided to pamper myself a bit and wanted to straighten the front of my hair that was getting frizzy. The stylist is now a sales guy but due to the office being shorthanded, he had to be a guest stylist for me. Kept persuading me to curl my hair but after my horrible experience 1 year plus ago, I was hesitant.

Gordon (the stylist) was very convinced that he would do a good job so I agreed to it - I kept emphasizing straight in front, curls only at the bottom. No overly permanent curls nor super small curls. Big wavy curls only. And I kept telling him about my horrible experience and how it made my tears roll down my cheeks involuntarily. I think he was a little overwhelmed.

I must say, Gordon is 1 of the best stylist I ever had. Soooo caring, gentle and thorough with my hair that I think my hair fell in love there n then. He treated my hair better than I do!! Can you believe it?? He made my hair feel really pampered and loved! I have never encountered such a stylist before (he's not gay by the way). And I felt bad to have him do my hair in shirt and pants.

He never complained, just carefully did my hair the way I wanted it. Front straight and bottom curls. I have never loved my curls more than this, and this is my umpteenth time curling my hair. I walked out, feeling happy with my curls. And I still felt happy with it today! :) Thanks to Gordon for making me feel pretty! I doubt I'll ever forget him, esp the part when he asked "are you having school holidays?"!

Break

2011-06-30T20:45:00.002+08:00

I thought going for a jog was supposed to be good, but it ended up making me think too much. About too many things in my life. The older I get, it seems the more melancholic I become. Why? Getting old should not equate to getting emotional right?

Anyhow, 3 nights of biscuits & grapes for dinner with the impact of some bouts of diarrhoea combination has caused me to lose some weight. :) Plus the jogging - woohoo!! Agnes bought an abs roller and she says it's quite good so she's gonna lend it to me on 1 of the weekends when I'll be more free to use it. Hopefully that will be next weekend! If it's really good, I'm gonna buy 1 for my own keeping and usage!

Craving for some tennis, some jogging, some swimming. Craving for more exercise. Hoping to clear my mind. Hoping to lose the fats on my tummy. Wishing to be me again. 6 more months to go. What will become of me then? Will I get what I want or will it be something different?

Only time will tell.. Til then, it's 6 more months to go. I'm seriously dying for a holiday. My 5 holidays a year target is far from being fulfilled. It's only been Jakarta in Jan, HK in Feb. Not sure if I wanna count the Malacca, KL or upcoming Penang trip. Somehow Malaysia is not much of a holiday venue for me. I need a break, very desperately.. Coz I can feel the energy draining away from me slowly but surely. I can feel myself getting a breakdown, going bonkers and out of my mind.

I need a break....

iPhone 4 replaced!

2011-06-25T18:23:00.002+08:00

Had a horrible shock last nite.

Was out at Pump Room for Adeline's farewell and drinks. It was nice seeing all the ex-colleagues once again. And I discovered something about myself.. I miss clubbing not coz of the drinking, but coz I miss dancing! I haven't danced in a long long time prior to last nite and my craving for dancing is getting bigger and bigger. There's this incurable itch for dancing - be it any kind of dancing. :(

So I had my iPhone in my jeans pocket the whole time I was dancing. Ok, the jeans was kinda tight so obviously the phone will be pressing against my thighs. But it shouldn't cause the phone to die on me right?? Imagine my horror when the phone won't turn on, resetting it doesn't work and worse of all, even plugging the phone to the laptop into iTunes to restore it won't even work!

Spent the whole nite til almost 3am trying to resolve the issue to no avail! Slept and all the dreams I had was that my phone could work again. Woke up excitedly expecting my dreams to come true but I was just let down. Called M1, went down to Plaza Singapura to get it fixed.

Ate at Nandos, was served by this absolutely handsome trainee called Tony Liu at M1. Hehe. Made the nasty feeling of being without a phone much better. Guess I can't live without my hp now and most importantly, without my iPhone - apps and all. So this Mr Cute Tony gave me a new iPhone as replacement within 10 mins. Wooohoooo!!

And so, home I came to reinstall and backup the phone once again. Some new contact numbers were wiped out as I didn't sync my hp this week. :( I never did much to my phone ever before.. Normally I'll just download the apps on my phone but never sync-ed with my Mac, so... Oh well.. Certain things have to be learnt the hard way and I'm really learning it the hard way now.

But at least, I always feel that that's the way to learn. :) I'm sooooo glad that I've got a phone back to use now and best of all, a new one! PS: I've dropped my phone a few times now.. So I must treasure it now! :p

Food!!!!

2011-06-15T18:45:00.004+08:00

A crazy week went past yet again. Had sooo many brekkies and dinners that I think I put on weight too fast! :D Dearest Stephen bro bought me brekkie for the whole week! Feel blessed and thankful!

07 June 2011 (Tues) - Dinner at Hotel 1921, Restaurant Ember. Located at Chinatown, I have never imagined myself eating in the restaurant of this boutique hotel. It was a client meeting (not my client of coz). I was nervy and unsure when I went as I've never met this guy before and I had no idea what to expect. But having been to so many broker dinners now, I knew I had to open up and chat so I went with an open mind. Verdict: food was excellent, service was great, but what really swept me off my feet were the 3 bottles of vintage wines that the client brought along. 1982 Chateau Lynch Bages (1 of the best years for wine, not to mention.. my year of birth!) & the 1990 burgundy - magnificent!

08 June 2011 (Wed) - Broker dinner at Orchard Parade Hotel, Akanoya after a lunch of Buddha Jumps Over the Wall at a food court. Stepping into Akanoya, I thought I had reached Japan. Everything about it just had this Japanese flavor to it! An eye-opener for me! Most memorable event of the nite: when I took on the challenge from my broker to down half a pint of Sake in 1 shot. Everyone in the restaurant was shocked and there was a 3 second silence as I did it. My brokers and traders were dying to see if I would puke or get high but all went home disappointed. Disappointment struck them again when I appeared at work on time and was perfectly fine for the whole day. But the story spread like wildfire - even my boss who came back from leave the following week heard about it. :p

09 June 2011 (Thurs) - Dinner at Orchard Mandarin, Triple 3 with Ky, Jac & Peg. Buffet dinner that was very expensive and definitely not worth it. Plus the lousy service, thanks but no thanks. I'm definitely not going back there again. Nothing matters more than the companionship of my family. :)

Weekend was spent in KL with some tennis and a massage. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's client dinner again. I suggested the place this time - Hachi! The place where KW brought Kelv and I to have our bday dinner. :D My mouth is watering at the thought of the dessert wine that the client will be bringing this time!! Can't wait!!

Neither can I wait to down the 24 bottles of Apple Cider Beer that I ordered and was delivered to my house yesterday!!! Wooott!! But before that, I shall hang up my laundry now, pack my room a little (trying to make my entire house really nice to suit the new furniture - dining & living room area looks really nice now!!) and to have some of the yummy chocolate coated orange biscuits from London!!! :D It's all food, food and more food!!!!

Just An Update..

2011-06-06T19:59:00.002+08:00

Didn't realise that it's been a month since I last blogged. Time flies..

I've been rather healthy recently I must say. Finally playing my beloved tennis once again and it's been 2 weeks since I last played. Itching and craving for it!!! Been jogging as well and building up the stamina. I enjoy the time alone when jogging. I try not to think about anything other than the route I'm gonna jog and the journey home. Hopefully by sweating out the toxins, my skin can get better too! :)

Hmm.. What else have I been up to? Can't really remember other than spending quite a bit of time with my besties. :p My bunch of fun and crazy girlfriends whom I love and treasure dearly!

Other than that, I've been meeting up with some old friends too. Met up with Abel last Thurs. Carissa, Christine & Agnes last Mon. Bee on last Tues. Prior to that, it was a lot of packing of the house and of coz, changing the furniture!!

New sofa and dining table arrived. I'm pleased to see them and have them at home now! Feels more like a home sometimes. I actually do spend time on my sofa and dining table now, rather than them being jus part of the house which I barely use or touch. Hoping to renovate soon but $$ is an issue sometimes. Oh well, will do bit by bit I guess. For now it'll be more towards maintaining the house. :)

Dressing well

2011-05-12T18:56:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt in a good mood coz u felt like u dressed well for the day? I dunno about what u guys think or feel, but I always feel good when I doll up or know that I'm dressed nicely/well for the day. When I'm dolled up, I feel happy and hence, I think I exude confidence which makes me feel good. Hehe.

In a good mood the whole of today other than at about 2pm when I was super busy and extremely annoyed by a stupid system where I can't log in and there's so many issues with that system. I know I lost it there and then. Totally pissed off. Was stressed with work especially at my busy timing of 2pm and I had to resolve the stupid password issue.

Rash outbreak happened immediately and there I was, itching and scratching and trying hard to apply heaps of moisturizer all at the same time. 2 hours of itching is a major killer and I couldn't control the itch at all! I'm sure most of you won't know that sort of feeling unless you've had chicken pox. But the itch I go through is on a daily basis.. Not a few weeks of chicken pox but a lifetime of itch and it drives me mad!

Hate this office that is sooooo damn dirty, dislike the stress that I had today to aggravate it even more. My skin has been in the worst state ever for the longest time now ever since I stepped foot into this office almost a year ago! And I have 4 months more to go to endure before we move to the new office. I can't wait! I hate this itch! I feel like tearing my skin apart!

Apart from that, yes, I'm still in a good mood jus coz I dressed well today despite the fact that I came home right after work. Boring! Wish to go out but nowhere to go and feel like sleeping early. Life's little ironies sometimes. Should dress well everyday to keep my spirits up! Woooohooo!!

Favourite Male Leads Concert - 29/30 April 2011

2011-05-11T19:08:00.003+08:00

A little backdating of entries here.

29 April 2011 - A crazy evening Stef and I had. We actually went to queue up just to get the autographs of my favourite HK actors: Moses Chan, Ron Ng, Kevin Cheng and Bosco Wong. It was sheer madness and the 1st time I did such a crazy thing. We reached there at 7pm (supposed time where the Q starts for u to get the posters for them to sign on. Upon reaching, we were probably 500 people away from the front of the Q!!! Unbelievable! The end result - I had the chance to go up close and personal to them, speak with them and shook their hands!! I'm a like a little fan of theirs! Haha. Makes me feel young but really happy. Gotta thank Stef for doing this crazy thing with me despite not knowing much chinese but she acted like a true fan too, including running out of the mall to chase for the bus that they were on! :) Thanks babe!

30 April - The long awaited concert of the 4 of them!!! Went with Siu Min and my sis. Screamed, sang, cheered, ran after them in the concert hall just to shake their hands! Soooo fun!!! It was a fantastic night that left me feeling really high! Adrenaline rush! Wooot!!!

Then along came my HK relatives from Fri (06 May 2011) til today. The few days before they arrived were a state of endless packing of the living room, dining room and loads of washing. 4 people stayed at my house. I had to prepare mattresses, blankets, pillows, etc. I have never seen my own house look so clean before. Hahaha. Hopefully I can keep it this way!

The only bad thing that happened was that my aircon broke down on Sunday night and despite getting the service guys to come n take a look, they couldn't fix it. But they discovered a huge bird's nest in my compressor. No idea how it got there!! They have cleared if for me but I'm getting another repair guy to come and check what happened. Hopefully my aircon gets fixed soon!! Dying of heat in this extremely hot weather!!!

Finally recovering from the flu that I caught on Friday evening. :) Anxiously waiting for new furniture to arrive and for aircon to be fixed. Feeling extremely broke though.. Desperately trying hard to sell my old furniture.. :(

Current 2 songs that I have been listening to: Hey Soul Sister by Train or from Glee & 死守 by 方力申

Elections

2011-05-03T21:14:00.004+08:00

It's been a crazy and busy 2 weeks - but I'm happy for them! Been spending lots of time with my beloved group of besties and they make me laugh and cry all at the same time. That's the kind of fun yet craziness we share.

I'm not a very political person and I really do HATE politics, especially if it's those office kinda politics. But it's elections time and I'm getting annoyed with all the postings, blabberings, and all the finger pointing shit that people are talking about. I know we all have our own opinions and to each his/her own. Do NOT force me to do or think the same way as you do. I have my own opinions and my own choices. Whatever your opinion about the PAP or whichever party u wanna support, do NOT tell me. I don't care and I don't wish to care.

A friend of mine posted this blog post by Xiaxue on FB. I must say, I do agree with what she said - not on the Nicole Seah FB shit but about Lee Kuan Yew and what he has done for our country. Stop criticizing people and get a life! What with the comments on Tin Pei Ling and Kate Spade, Nicole Seah and whatever.. Come on man.. If you guys are so good at criticizing and think so highly of yourselves, pls feel free to go run for the elections and stop posting a million posts on FB every day! It's just hateful and irritating!

Anyway, enough about political shit. I had a great Sunday nite (01 May) with my dearest friends watching Shakespeare in the Park - Macbeth at Fort Canning. It was fun and we had an awesome picnic! :D Yummy food, great company, under the stars in a park. What else can I ask for?

1 year ago, I was anxiously waiting to be transferred to where I am. 1 year later, I am still glad and happy for this move. Thank you!!!

And lastly, happy belated bday to my Daddy. You would have been 60 years now, would be a great year - retiring, enjoying life like you've always wanted. Happy Birthday my dearest Daddy! I'm still the happy baby girl whom you've always loved the most. :) I love you!

Expectation

2011-04-21T21:22:00.003+08:00

You know how people always say the higher the expectation, the bigger the disappointment? I felt like that. I had no expectations in the 1st place. It was only coz everyone started giving me the hope, making me think too highly of myself - only to let myself down in the end. Lasik will not be done. I don't think I wanna state the reason here anymore. Tears welled up in my eyes when I heard that. The alternative that the doctor gave me is beyond my limit at the moment.

I swear, I will try again next year so as to not disappoint myself. I'm not going to give up hope so easily. 1st resolution for the year has failed. Should I go for my 2nd resolution of the year? Thought that after fulfilling 1st resolution would make 2nd resolution a bit easier to be settled. Guess I'll have to depend more on my own skills now.

Too many things happened over the last 2 weeks - can't really remember much now other than the late nite baking sessions that I've had. Haha. And not feeling well on Tuesday, haven't felt that bad in a long time. Working tomorrow despite public holiday - as usual. Better sleep early. :)

Falling in Love... With Cooking!

2011-04-06T19:21:00.002+08:00

What can I say other than the fact that I think I've fallen in love with cooking?!!! Can't wait to renovate the house, get a proper stove and oven and change everything including cutlery etc. Posted the food pics on FB so don't think I wanna repost here. :) I'm just happy that it was all done pretty well for my 1st try in cooking those dishes. Hehehe.

A busy and hectic day at work from start to end. I had a smile on my face today. :D Yes, I'm happy for several reasons but not going to write it here. I'm just in a good mood.

Lasik consultation coming up real soon. I'm nervous, worried and excited all at the same time. Wonder if my cornea's thick enough, if my degree will all be gone etc etc. Yet I'm anxiously waiting for the day to come so that I'll know coz I really can't wait to get up and be able to see the world clearly. But even if my eyes are not suitable for lasik, I know of another alternative - ICL (Implantable Contact Lens). That will be having permanent contact lens in the eyes but without the hassle of removing to wash or afraid of dryness or irritation. :p

How can I not be happy? Hehehe.

April Fool's - 1st day of Spectacles Week

2011-04-01T19:53:00.004+08:00

My 1st day wearing specs to work in this office ever! Pleasantly surprised by the comments and feedback from my colleagues from all departments. Overall comment is that I look ok in specs, look more wise and intelligent. Hahaha. Kinda funny when I heard that - My 1st reaction was "you mean I normally look quite dumb?" :p

Felt different and a little self conscious when I 1st reached office but I soon got used to it. Of coz, the wonderful feedback made everything else so much better. Thanks to everyone who complimented me in some way or other! Came home in a light and happy mood.

And that is til I turned on the TV and watched the fundraising show for Japan's earthquake on 11 March 2011. Cried when watching the footage of the aftermath of the whole event, the sadness of the people who have lost their family and friends. It's been almost a month since it happened. I know there are people who think that this is karma for Japan coz of the World War. But that was years ago. Many generations have passed and should we really be bearing such grudges?

To each his own. I choose to not think that way but to empathize them. Their strength and courage in such an ordeal is what we should learn. There has been no reports of theft, fights or violence in any way since the earthquake happened. Shows how much love and respect they have for one another, for their country. :) Wonder if we can ever be so united as a country.

The other event that made me sad today is that today marks the 8th year of death of Leslie Cheung. An artiste who makes me melt when he sings. 1 of the 1st Asian singers who dared to openly declare he is gay. He passed away the same way my mummy did.. When I 1st heard the news, I thought it was an April Fool's joke.. But it wasn't. He suffered from depression for over a year and couldn't take it anymore. I hope he's happier wherever he is now.

Cherish and treasure everything and everyone my dear friends.. Life is short..

Current song: Leslie Cheung & Anita Mui - Fate aka 緣份

Afamosa 26-27 March 2011

2011-03-28T19:40:00.003+08:00

Jus came back from a road trip to Afamosa Resort with my family. It's a place somewhere in between Melaka and KL. That place was sooo huge! 150 hectare of land all on their own with a Cowboy Town, Water World, Animal Safari, golf course, tennis courts and all sorts of other recreational activities.

At the Cowboy town, I had a go on the mechanical bull ride. Hanging on for dear life to avoid being thrown off the bull, I ended up with a slightly swollen finger (injury + injury = swelling) and slightly bruised knees (from pushing hard against the bull). It was interesting though! :)

At Water World, I went for the 8 storey high slide down lying on my back with hands crossed at my chest and legs crossed too. 2 different types of slides but sooo much fun! There were 3 other girls before me (about 20 but I dunno them) and all didn't dare to do it so I went ahead 1st. After which, they became more daring to try. Haha.

Ate, drank and be merry while I was there but had a headache the whole journey back to Singapore. Headache was still haunting me throughout the whole of today. Sometime in the afternoon, I felt like I was getting a fever. Perspired very badly for an hour plus and the headache went away. I'm still feeling really tired but at least the pain's gone now. Gotta sleep early tonite to recover.

Looking forward to more trips!! Next month is gonna be boring with nothing planned but I'm gonna target for May. I need my short breaks. Hehe. New song that I like a lot - Lucky by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat. Beautiful lyrics about being in love. ^.^

Effect after Japan's Earthquake

2011-03-18T18:42:00.003+08:00

It's been a very crazy week after the Japan earthquake last Friday (11/03/11). Markets were moving crazy, everyone was working like there's no tomorrow. I did my best to help in every way I could - booking and amending deals, helping out wherever I can including running downstairs to buy breakfast, lunch and coffee for everyone.

Had to take over my manager's work as well coz he doesn't wanna do it anymore. Was informed that I am to backup another colleague when she's not around. Means I'll have to do 3 people's job if she's not around. How fair is that? I don't mind being busy or having a lot of work. I jus don't find it fair to me coz she will not be my backup when I'm not around. Life is never fair anyway.

But what really made me happy is that the hardwork I've put in is appreciated. My Singapore boss paid for breakfast coz all of us came in early to work for the last couple of days. He even paid for lunch (Crystal Jade) for everyone who reports to him today - that's about 20+ of us. Very nice gesture of him to show his appreciation in that manner. :)

Then at 5pm whereby most of the guys had left coz everyone was sooo drained, my G10 team head came to me and said "Thanks for everything this week! You've been a star, a legend and I really really really appreciate it! You're a life saviour throughout the whole week!" Those words were more than enough to make the ultra tired me (so tired that I wanted to wear specs to work and could hardly bother to cover my dark eye circles at all today) feel energized again.

Thank you for recognizing my efforts and letting me know about it!! Thanks for appreciating me!!! :p My only wish now is to be working with u guys for as long I can coz u guys really make me feel happy!!

Some random stuff about the week that passed - Sunday was bak kut teh day with Stef, Sid, Jianwei and Eeyore. Finally managed to try the Rangoon Road bak kut teh. Yummy! Went cycling (for me) / roller blading (for them) / photo taking (Jianwei & Sarah) at East Coast Park. I ached a lot after that. Haha. Dinner was at Sunset Way Grill Out followed by ice cream at Island Creamery (Adam Road area). Ate a lot!!!! Super yummy!!!

Cooked dinner on Wed nite - cucumber with meatball soup, tofu with minced pork and prawns, and prawn omelette. I must say that the taste of the tofu dish amazed myself! I didn't expect it to taste sooo good! Ok, a bit thick skinned there but seriously, I liked it a lot! 1st dish that has ever totally exceeded my expectations! Soooo pleased with myself! Pics of food are on Facebook so I'm lazy to upload to Blogger since I have yet to save it on my lappie. :D

Broker dinner last nite at Morton's Steakhouse. Freaking awesome seafood platter!!!! Just thinking about it now is making me salivate. Damn! Steak was chunky but sooo juicy and tender! Mouthwatering!! Had champagne and 2 different red wines. Prior to dinner was more drinking at Harry's where we had beer. Eat & drink, eat & drink!

Realised that this whole post is a lot on food. Haha! And I'm hungry now! How mad am I?!! Not to worry about putting on weight.. Coz I have yet to mention.. That.. I have Xbox Kinnect at home now and I perspire soooo much from playing the game coz of the jumping and squatting, moving and running! It's a damn good workout! Wooohooo!!

Finally a happier post!!! Pls let my happiness last longer..

6 months

2011-03-09T19:16:00.003+08:00

Yet another not too happy post. :( Bought ice cream on the way home to cheer myself up. :)

The next 6 months are gonna be a trying one for me. Gotta keep my fingers crossed real tight and hope for the best. Spoke to 3 of my traders when I heard the news and they are very supportive of me, asking me to be positive. Even Mr Z is supportive. Hope they will fight hard for me. That's all I can wish for..

Really not sure what's gonna happen within these 6 months. If things don't turn out well, it's probably adios amigos and on I move. Could this be a do or die situation? Maybe what I blogged about is coming true - about moving on to other departments, other positions or leaving the firm.

Much as I love my team, I know this is a tough fight to win even for someone as highly ranked as my Singapore boss. I know my traders will help me out but it's 1 team against Global initiatives. Whatever the outcome is, I'm happy to have been in this team and to have fantastic colleagues.

As promised to the people I talked to today regarding this, I'll stay positive always! Thanks for the wonderful support!! :)

On a brighter note, my lasik consultation has been booked!! Time to fulfil 1 resolution for the year. Hope that my cornea's thick enough for the operation to be done. I really wish to have perfect eyesight again! Praying hard for everything!!!!

All The Best, Will!

2011-03-03T22:28:00.002+08:00

Yet another farewell for a trader from my team - Will. Saddens me to keep seeing the traders in my team leave 1 after another. At least for now, I know the 2 traders I'm closest to in my team will be around for that while more. I certainly do not want them to leave before I do. I'll be heartbroken..

But then again, I know it's for greener pastures that others are leaving to go for and I should be happy for them. I hate such bittersweet moments. The mixed sad and yet happy moments at the same time.

At the farewell drinks party, I was asking Will when he'll be going back to London and he said 30 April. The 1st thought that came to mind and I dunno why I said it out loud.. Was that it's my dad's bday on that day. So this trader jokingly asked if he should send flowers to me to pass to my dad and my response was "to put at his grave?". I thought he knew my parents have passed away but apparently he only knew about my mum and not my dad.

So there was this sadness suddenly around us. 1 of the 2 whom I was close to was instantly quiet and looked sad. He had known even b4 I joined about my family background. But I told all of them this.. That, hey, I grew up fine and healthy, I still did well. And Will (he's the head of the desk) said, "I'm actually really proud of u.. Of how well you have turned out in life!"

Tall compliments! Thank u! I'm proud of myself too (sometimes)! Hereby wishing Will all the best in his life, his career and everything else that he does! I'll miss the times when he'll tell brokers to call me on my Reuters and I'll tell him "NO!". And he'll always reply me.. "You're the best, RCFP pls!" I'll miss the noisy bantering, him standing behind him and yakking half the time, the Coke Light drinking moments and all the other times we've had together.

Can't have too much of my traders leaving one after another.. It's saddening, demoralizing. :_(

And suddenly, "All By Myself" pops into mind. Dad's been gone for 3 years now - his death date has jus past by 2 days. I won't cry.. Like Will said, proud of myself. :)

Think I'll sleep well tonite again - with alcohol running in the blood and veins, it's gonna be a good nite. :p

2 sad posts in a row. Hopefully the next post will be a happier one!

Running

2011-03-01T21:17:00.003+08:00

I was in office chatting with a trader from another desk over messenger before I left office and he said I still look happy everyday at work. Yes, I am happy - I love my trading team, I love the work, I love most of the people I work with. I am indeed very blessed in that sense and I'm grateful for that. To have a great team is the most important thing to me and my traders make me feel loved every single day! What else can I ask for?

I happened to bump into the same trader coincidentally in the lift as I was leaving office. My lovely traders allowed me to leave on the dot at 5pm sharp to go for a run. :) Wonderful people! So we were talking in the lift and I said I was going back to change n go for a run. He asked me something which struck a chord right in my heart - Are you running from problems or should you be searching for solutions?

It did hit me right there and then. I admit I might be running away from problems right now. I actually thought of changing departments or requesting to be transferred to another country for other positions or simply, leaving the firm. I thought of hopping on a plane by myself jus to be alone.

While running the 5km route earlier on, I know I shouldn't be running away from problems. I like to run physically but whatever issues should be resolved. I'm just too stubborn to take the 1st move. And it no longer matters to me.

I know I'll sleep like a baby tonite after 2 nites of insomnia. I know I'll do better than before and make myself proud. I know I'll be me, still the same old me.

Not sure where I heard A-Lin 以前以后 before but I love the lyrics and I'm glad I chanced upon this song. It's about love and dreams of a couple when they were in love and what happens after being in love or rather, after break up.

I believe in this - What is meant to be, will be.

Raymond Lam Concert - 26 Feb 2011

2011-02-27T13:43:00.001+08:00

Have just posted the top 5 songs that I really love from Raymond Lam's concert yesterday. I was super high, screaming and cheering at the top of my lungs. He's soooo amazing!! Handsome, cute and such an entertaining singer! Such a brilliant and fantastic concert! I don't think I'll forget any details in this concert!

I'm sure there's a person reading my blog who mus have loved the concert as much as I did and the meaning of the top 5 songs. Pls enjoy and be always happy! :) U know who u are. I can't read your blog coz u locked it with password but I know u still read mine. So..

It was supposed to be a morning of brunch at Sentosa. Some argument came up and I boarded the 1st bus I saw, not knowing nor caring where it'll bring me to. I ended up at Ang Mo Kio, bought a cup of Koi tea. Was wondering if I should go for KTV alone again but decided to walk home from Ang Mo Kio.

5.8km and 1 hour plus later, I'm sitting at home alone and still wondering if I should go KTV alone. I have a good mind to jus go on with it. Hmm.. But I'm feeling tired. Maybe I should take a nap instead? Damn.. I dunno what to do!

Anyway, I've booked another concert to go for in April! Woohoo!! This year is 1 where I enjoy - trips, concerts, etc. Keep it coming! My life can be so easily simple and happy. But yet..

Have a good weekend everyone! Gonna be a stressful week ahead for me due to dept being extremely shorthanded but knowing my character, I'm sure I'll love it coz I love being busy and I'm a workaholic by nature. Give it to me baby!! :p

Raymond lam 林峯 - 朋友，請不要傷悲

2011-02-27T13:17:00.001+08:00

林峰---我們很好 KTV

2011-02-27T13:10:00.001+08:00

林峰-愛在記憶中找你 KTV

2011-02-27T13:09:00.003+08:00

林峰---直到你不找我 KTV

2011-02-27T13:09:00.002+08:00

林峰-愛不疚 KTV

2011-02-27T13:08:00.001+08:00

Laugh at Me - Again!

2011-02-22T19:45:00.002+08:00

I wasn't intending to blog today but had to write this down for a laugh and for memory sake. :)

Remember a previous post that I had written before on my machine not being able to use backspace and I created an embarrassing moment by typing the word "SEXXXXXX" on it? In case you have forgotten, here's the post.

So, another embarrassing moment for me while typing on this machine. I was trying to confirm a deal and at the end of the conversation, I wanted to say "Cheers and Bye". But at the last minute, I decided to jus say "Bye" but my finger had already pressed "C". And the word that came out was "CBYE".

Think of it in the hokkien vulgarity and you will know what I'm trying to say. The minute I ended the call, my heart went OMG! Thank goodness my counterparty on the other line was an Indian or I'll seriously be soooo embarrassed!!!!!

Ok, pls feel free to laugh at me - AGAIN! Damn!!! And when I told this to a close friend of mine, he said this.. "First it was the act of it (sex) and now the parts come out!"

Can the floor open a hole now and swallow me up pls? Thanks!

HK 16-20 Feb 2011

2011-02-21T18:12:00.002+08:00

Many first times on this trip - 1st time I took A380 to HK and back, 1st time walking on the streets of HK all by myself, 1st time ever realising that yes, I can live in this country on my own!

I have always loved HK. It has to do with my roots. I know the language and their way of life is something I can always easily adapt to. Walking alone in HK made me feel like I was back in Shanghai again - all on my own. It's been a while since I last explored a country on my own. Sometimes I do miss those days..

Anyway, the weather in HK was absolutely fantastic at 13 degree celsius everyday! All I needed was a jacket and I never had to perspire. Definitely not cold by my standards though almost all the HK people I know or heard talking on the streets were complaining that it was cold. I was loving it!

Shopped and ate, shopped and ate! Ate soooo much from the minute I arrived til the very last day that I knew I put on weight even while I was there. No complains though - that's what u're supposed to do when u travel right?

No pics taken on this trip as HK is a place where I go to almost every year, sometimes even twice a year. Looking forward to more trips for this year though going back to work today meant clearing back logs from the days when I was out of office. I still wanna travel as much as I can. :)

Happy Valentine's Day 2011!

2011-02-14T19:03:00.003+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! :)

It's another quiet V Day for Eeyore and I. We had a nice dinner with close friends yesterday and we're not doing anything much today. Not gonna complain as I know he's busy with work coz of some major conference happening in Singapore this year.

At least I received flowers from him! :) Flowers are on the table now right in front of my lappie. Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. I made him a card and gave him the Kindle. Somehow this year I think we've found back the feeling of love once again. I am missing him now even before I go on my trip without him. :(

It's been a long time since I last went on a trip without him. The feeling is different when he goes on a trip without me. I don't feel so lonely coz at least I'm in Singapore and I have my friends around. Going on a trip without him is weird now. Oh well, jus hope I have lots of fun on my trip!

Last week was a little filled with ups and downs. Not so much to do with my relationship but certain people and news. Anyway, not going to write it down as I don't even wanna think about it. But I'm looking forward to my trip coz I need a break and I'll be looking forward to come back coz something good awaits!

Til then, I'll still keep my fingers crossed for 2011 to continue to be as good! ^.^

Tolerance for Pain

2011-02-08T22:23:00.002+08:00

I think I like to torture myself too much sometimes. I wore a new pair of heels to work yesterday and it caused me a blister that broke even before I reached home. In my defiance to give in to the pain, I wore the same pair of heels to work again today. My mindset was simple - I had to break into the shoes!

Obviously, I was wrong. The shoes nearly broke my legs. I was limping for more than half the day and I'm currently suffering from an even worse blister than yesterday plus another 2 new blisters. Sometimes I think I'm crazy and definitely too stubborn for my own good.

Went to see a doctor early this morning. Within an hour of waking up, I suffered from 4 bouts of sharp pain in my right eardrum. It was as if someone took a really long needle and pierced right into the middle of your eardrum, creating a sharp bone-chilling kind of pain. I was scared and worried for myself (seldom do I feel that way). Didn't dare to take the risk so it was a trip to the clinic.

The doctor was kinda funny. She looked into my ear and said, "oohh.. you have a very angry ear!". Apparently it was all red and slightly swollen in the ear. I dunno how I got myself a ear infection but it's definitely no fun at all. Was put on antibiotics (coz I'm taking a plane next week and she said the air pressure will worsen the infection) and given some ear drops.

In yesterday's post I was jus saying I need to cook up some excuse to prevent the guys from making me drink. There, I've a very valid reason now - I'm on medication. Haha. I'm not sure if I should be happy for not having to drink too much or should I be sad coz I sort of cursed myself. Whatever the case, I jus hope to get well soon now. :)

My tolerance for pain has certainly gone up by another level. I actually limped home from the MRT station despite wanting to take a cab home. The pain that I feel from time to time in my ear to my bones. I amaze myself sometimes.

Happy Chinese New Year 2011

2011-02-07T20:02:00.009+08:00

It's February!! Chinese New Year came and went so quickly!! Didn't get much of rest over the long weekend due to work but was glad to have the company of a very lovely dog for 3 days of CNY. She made my day interesting, beautiful and kept me occupied! :) Thanks Sid & Stef for letting me look after the little princess! ^.^

Last week was a crazy one. Went for Kelvin's farewell on Tuesday nite and my traders were out to get me drunk - it's not my farewell!!!! We had beer at Harry's then went on for dinner at a Cuba restaurant at Customs House. Had lots of champagne. Proceeded to Level 33 @ Stan Chart Building and we had a bottle of vodka. Right before leaving, we did shots! God!! Woke up in the middle of the night with a headache and felt a bit terrible! Had alcohol swimming in my tummy the next morning and vowed to swear off alcohol for 2 weeks.

BUT Wed nite being reunion dinner, I had champagne for dinner. And it was still alcohol for the next few nites! :p So much for my new resolution of swearing off alcohol!! It's no wonder everyone knew I won't be able to keep to this resolution! :X

Apparently there's another drinking session for another colleague's farewell. He tendered again.. Kinda unexpected and sudden. And we have some team drinking session this Thurs. I am sooooo dead!!! I better come up with some excuse to not drink too much.

Kinda surprised to receive a red packet from a Sales person today. Never expected her to give me coz we ain't super close to each other despite liaising often. Those whom I'm close to did not give me a red packet. Weird?!!! Hahaha. I'm jus really touched and honoured by her actions. It's not so much the red packet but the thought that counts! :) Thanks lots!!!

Having this horrendous outbreak of rash since CNY started. My legs are all red with broken skin. Looks really gross and I didn't know til I was in office today.. In a skirt. :( My mentor saw it and asked me what happened to cause the outbreak. I have no idea either. I think it's the stress that I've been piling on myself. Maybe I should stop pushing myself so hard to be a trader. Would sales be better? I wonder but I hope so..

I'll ponder about that while letting my poor skin take a break from the stress. De-stressed by de-cluttering the junk from my house yesterday. Spent the whole day packing up the house and I threw at least 10 pairs of shoes away! Plus a lot of other stuff! Proud of myself!! Woohoo!!

Meanwhile, have a happy and prosperous Rabbit year!! "Rabbit" Sarah and me!!

Happy 57th Bday Mummy!

2011-01-26T18:55:00.003+08:00

It's been a rather moody week. Things weren't as rosy as I thought but then again, I have only been there for 6 months. Can't expect too much, can I? But then again, I think it was the other news that made me more moody. I guess, it's destined that I can't have a good manager for long. Nothing lasts forever eh? I'll jus have to stick it out for now I guess.

Meanwhile, I've never been more hardworking than now I think. I've been studying during lunch time or whatever free time I have at work so that I can achieve my dream faster. Not gonna sit there and take it easy anymore. But wild random thoughts keep causing my thoughts to stray. So I've burnt my studying/learning CD and put it into my phone. Full speed ahead now!

Borrowed 2 good books from my trader. Started on 1 for now. Interesting reads about the market and how it collapsed previously. Things that will be beneficial. Yes, I'm going for it! Working hard, moving fast. Stopped playing games as much as before. Time to do something about my life, for myself.

Other people's moods have been affecting mine as well. I know, I'm too easily influenced but I can't help it. Sigh.. Not to mention, the sad songs that are on my playlist. Wanna stay happy and positive!! I think the stress is hitting me hard - rash outbreak is a killer right now. Itching all over! ARGH!

Had a belated bday celebration for me with XZ last nite at Black Angus Steakhouse. :) Good food, good friend. Nothing to complain about. Meeting up with old friends is always beneficial to the soul. ^.^

This Friday is my mummy's 57th bday if she's alive. The older I get, the more emotional I become. Becoming some emo freak. :( My bday wish for my mummy - I hope you are happy, I wish you well. U'll always be the prettiest person in my heart. Thanks for everything u've given me in my life! I miss u lots.. always!

Can't wait for my trips in Feb and now there's another trip planned in Mar. I need the breaks desperately. Even short weekend trips give me something to look forward to. Need a good balance of work and play! :)

Jakarta 14-16 Jan 2011

2011-01-19T19:20:00.003+08:00

On the way home, I stopped for the old school ice cream from the motorbike seller. Bread with peppermint ice cream flavor. Was feeling a little down after talking to 1 of my traders. Think his depression spread to me or something. :( But the ice cream did help~! :) Another office party tomorrow but guess I'm gonna give it a miss this time since most of the guys on my team aren't gonna be there.

Anyway, I had a great weekend in Jakarta visiting Mahesh, Krupa and baby Dev!! Dev is soooo adorable with huge eyes, super long eyelashes and a smile that melted my heart! He doesn't cry much and he's not even afraid of strangers! Love carrying him around and he was the only reason why I dragged myself out of bed every morning in Jakarta! Right after I finish washing up, I'll run out to carry him and play with him! :p Still waiting for Mahesh to send me the group photos that we took together. ^.^

Had dinner with Rick who came from HK on Mon nite. Went for Korean food and we drank Korean Shoju, Korean beer and lychee martini. Yes, it's only Mon nite! Went a little crazy mixing the drinks but oh well, drinking is fun! :D

Last nite was a mini belated bday dinner for my trader Kelvin and I cum a farewell dinner for Kelvin who has been transferred to NY. I'm gonna miss him a lot coz he's the only other Singaporean other than me in this department. Once he goes to NY, I'll be the only one there and he's a great mentor too! :( Sooo gonna miss him!! We had dinner with KW and we kept teasing n disturbing KW to treat. He really did! Omg!

And not only did KW treat us, he brought us to Hachi which is not a cheap restaurant to begin with. Food there was good and the sake was nice too (I'm not a fan of sake). Think the meal cost at least $700 and honestly, I barely know this guy!!! Kelvin and I offered to pay him back but he refused! Now I feel really terrible for teasing him to give Kelvin and I a bday treat. :X

Tomorrow is the day whereby our bonus, increment and promotion is determined and given out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed tightly. It's the day of the truth on whether I made the right decision to move here - Not that I'm gonna regret my decision coz I was not happy at the previous department to begin with. But more like, I'll get to see if it is really as rosy here as everyone tells me. Will update on that again once I know more about things.

To end off this post, here's a picture of my very dried up bday roses. :)

Er Mei Pai

2011-01-13T19:01:00.006+08:00

I think u guys who read my blog will realise that I've been blogging quite a lot recently. Oh well, that's what happens when I have my own laptop and I knock off early nowadays. :) If u're bored of my ramblings, pls take a break. Hahaha.

Had a very enjoyable gathering with my Er Mei Pai sisters (plus Winston) last nite at Sizzler. I really miss this group of people whom I worked closely with for 2 years when I 1st joined this company. 15-18 hour days were the norm for me then. Much as I suffered the wrath of my supervisor who hated me coz she always felt that I was a threat to her position, the rest of the girls were always there to back me up, support and encourage me. Those were the days when I never complained I was tired, where I went back to work willingly when I was still on hospitalisation leave.

I miss the good old days. I do.. Sigh.. Time flies and we are all in different departments now. Meeting up is such a difficult thing to do now as it's hard to coordinate with everyone and for everyone to be free. But I'm glad I managed to pull this gathering off yesterday! Woohoo!!

Obviously, the topic will definitely revolve around.. When Are You Getting Married? Sigh.. I'm not getting married anytime soon! Don't have to ask. Hahaha. I'm fine as I am and I'm happy as it is. I really don't care much about being married or not. When I was younger, I always thought I'll be married between 24-26, have about 2 years of being together, have kids between 28-30 and that's it. Ever since I hit 24, then 25.. And after 26, I never thought of marriage anymore. So now at the wonderful age of being always 21, I most definitely won't be thinking about it. :) Let nature take its course.

And the topic of being "rich" came up again. I really HATE this topic. They love saying that I'm rich despite me telling them I hate it when they say that. Their mentality is that coz I have a house under my name that's been fully paid off, it means I'm very rich. I have been repeating this a gazillion times and I'm gonna say it again. If having a freaking house to my name coz my dad passed away means I'm rich, everyone should be wishing their parents dead? I do not want this kind of "richness". Never wanted, never ever will want! I'd rather have my parents still alive than to have a freaking house under my name!!! Why do people not understand this simple logic?? Annoying!!!!

Esther's dad passed away. Hope she's doing alright. I'm supposed to go for the wake tonite but waiting for Eeyore to end work. And I gotta pack my bags for tomorrow's trip to Jakarta! :)

Went home twice with Kelv gor this week coz he's started work at the building next to mine! Yay!!!

Saw the below article on a friend's Facebook and I decided to copy and paste it here coz I like the meaning of the article. For me to re-read as and when I want to.

一辈子、一次、一眼、一生、一起、一切…

突然在空间发现的一篇美文。

一辈子，就做一次自己。

这一次，我想给你全世界。

这一次，遍体鳞伤也没关系。

这一次，用尽所有的勇敢。

这一次，可以什么都不在乎。

但只是这一次就够了。

因为生命再也承受不起这么重的爱情。

愿意为你丢弃自尊，放下矜持，

不管值不值，不管爱得多卑微。

第一眼爱上，然后用一辈子去忘记。

一生至少该有一次，为了某个人而忘了自己。

不求有结果，不求同行，不求曾经拥有，甚至不求你爱我。

只求在我最美的年华里，遇到你

在心里装下一个你。

只要呼唤你的名字，就不再感到害怕。

只要呼唤你的名字，就会觉得自己变得勇敢，变得坚强。

我可以不顾一切地一直一直对你好

因为我只想忠于我自己的感情。

在挤公车的时候想起你，买糕点的时候想起你，

唱情歌的时候想起你，一个人的时候想起你。

为你不停不停流下感动或悲伤的眼泪，还笑着对你说没事。

会听你听过的歌，读你读过的书，

走你走过的路，在意你在意的人。

即便你忘了那首歌那本书那条路那个人，

我也还是会一样深深记得。

会在吃最后一个苹果的时候想给你一半，

吃最后一块蛋糕的时候想分你一半。

我想要我们什么都在一起做，即使我们什么都没在一起做过。

想要和你一起环游世界，去普罗旺斯看薰衣草，

去夏威夷晒太阳，去美国百老汇看歌舞剧……

想把全世界都给你。

你划定的楚河汉界，我不敢轻易犯规。爱你爱到妥协。

你前进，看着你背影，就足够世界无条件的放晴。

静者恒静，就让我的心安静地守着你。
我愿给你幸福不灭的定理。

不会再对你说我爱你。我知道，没人可以比我更爱你。

我知道你难过的时候，我比你更难过一百倍。

好想让你知道你身后一直都有一个我不离不弃。

一直都在你身后等待，

我的笑送给你希望你快乐，你的难过都给我。

关于你的一切我都好好收藏着，等你有一天能感觉到我。

就算我在你世界渺小像一颗尘埃，我也会给你我所有的光和热。

我鼓起勇气呐喊，你要听得见。
我不许你再孤单要你拥抱我给的温暖。

你有没有听见？

深深的话我要浅浅地说，你见，或者不见我，

我就在那里，不悲不喜。

你念，或者不念我，情就在那里，不来不去。

你爱，或者不爱我，爱就在那里，不增不减。

或者，让我住进你的心里，默然相爱寂静欢喜。

当你什么也没有说的时候，我只希望你能了解：

就算你走得再远，累了，回头我就在你的身边。

我还会像以前那样，在一旁落寞。

只要你记得：我爱你，可以为你哭，为你笑，

可以为你癫狂，为你安静地坐在角落里落寞…

And a song that I've been really crazy about these days. Sorry it's Cantonese again.

迷恋---郑伊健

迷恋你的眼睛已经很挂念你
迷恋你的细胞倍增有否危机
让我逐吋逐吋的爱惜你
用浪漫分泌令四周气氛
弥漫特别的美谁也妒嫉我
被你幸福紧抱的我
如果九州火山有天不再热暖
若有天澳洲海边看不见歌剧院
如若世上贵重的都消失了
还为甚么打算没太多意思
留下独自嗟怨
如我没有遇你甚么都不应叫优美
恳请天与地同为证于此一世都深爱你
天甚么高情一般的高
我只有一世确不足爱你
不需参透任何玄机迷信爱上的只有你
天怎么高情一般的高
还于这生相约下生相爱

Great 1st week of 2011!

2011-01-10T20:04:00.003+08:00

Had a very busy week last week so I decided to have a more relaxed week this week. :)

Weekend was especially great. Let's start with Thurs drinks - We had a great nite of drinking, eating chicken wings & peanuts and of coz, bitching, gossiping and laughing! Jean came down and joined my bunch of ex-colleagues and I think everyone enjoyed her company as well. Seriously awesome nite that though I slept at 1am and had to wake up at 5.30am the next morning for work, it was without any complaints nor grouchy-ness in me. :p Looking forward to the next gathering!!!

Fri was supposedly a quiet nite for Eeyore and I but Jean wasn't feeling very happy so we had a gathering at the house of SSS (I need a shorter name for Sid & Stef's house). Helped Stef with the marination sauces, salad sauces and honestly learnt a lot about cooking and how a real kitchen/house looks like. Mine is.. definitely not up to standard. Will work hard to get there some day. Stayed til 2am and was sooo tired, but yet again, with no complaints!

Woke up at 8.30am to visit my gram - 1st visit of 2011~! Spoke to her briefly before she decided to sleep again. Haha. Brekkie with my family then headed home for a nap from 12.3o-2.30pm. Then it was off to BBQ at SSS's place at 5+pm~! Absolutely fantastic & marvellous BBQ!! Great food, the best company of friends ever! What more can I ask for? Lots of fun and laughter!!

Really really love my Thurs group & Saturday group of friends!!

Went to JB with my family yesterday - Ann, Uncle Charles, MZ & Eeyore. Ate and shopped, ate and shopped, ate and shopped!! From 10am til 7pm. That was all that we did there! It's like a repeat of my HK trip with them 2 years ago and I actually did enjoy myself! :)

Need a massage terribly today but the sky decided to be uncooperative and kept raining the whole day. Decided to head home instead. My shoulders are aching really badly and my colleague Stephen said my shoulder muscle is a little swollen and he couldn't find the knot that's causing it. :( Sigh.. Doubt Eeyore will be able to end early enough for us to go for the massage at 9pm.. Guess I'll have to wait til tomorrow maybe?

林峰 - 愛在記憶中找你 (HD Live KTV)

2011-01-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

This song is stuck in my head - Listening to it brings back certain memories..

Baby Kayden

2011-01-04T21:45:00.003+08:00

Think I forgot to mention in my previous post - Thanks to my back office in Australia who did a wonderful bday email for me! :) And to Agnes for the wonderful lunch treat! :p

Jus came home from Lynnie's place. Oh my god! Baby Kayden is sooo adorable!! Was looking at him while he slept and he has soooo many facial expressions even when sleeping! His smile simply melts my heart!!

But as always, playing with other people's babies are fun. When it comes to giving birth to 1 of my own, it will have to wait. Hahaha. Anyway, I've told Lynnie that I'll pop by her place every week once or every alternate week once. Need to bond with the new baby. :D

By the way, I am so in love with my new "baby" that I love turning it on the minute I reach home. Beautiful~!

Harlow 2011!!

2011-01-03T19:17:00.007+08:00

Today's the 1st working day of 2011 and it's also my 1st post for 2011! :)

My bday came and went in a flash. I'm truly blessed with a bunch of really wonderful people whom I wanna thank! Not going to post much photos here since they are mostly on Facebook.

1) My group of uni girl friends aka bellas who have been amazing all these years! Of coz, I'll have to include the hubby and the fiancee as well~! Thanks for being great friends throughout the years, for standing by me, for all the fun and laughter, and for sharing my sadness with me. Thanks Jean & Dilun, Stef & Sid, Anne & Von!! For the surprise bday cake, for the singing at the restaurant that I'll never ever forget! ^.^

2) Shirleen - My insurance agent who ordered a bear with 3 roses to be delivered to my office. Unexpected and totally incredible when I tell others that it's from an insurance agent.

3) Bee for buying me a present every year, without fail. Her friendship has amazed me tremendously over the years, always being there for me. Knowing her ever since I joined this company is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me!

4) Lisa & Sylvia - The surprise elephant with flowers and chocs that came were a huge surprise that put an even more huge smile on my face! I merely teased them and the actual present came through courier. Thanks babes, for everything and spending so much money on me!

5) Liwen who bought me my favourite glutinous rice from Chinatown and delivering it to my office for me, with a box of Laurent Bernard chocolates. :)

6) Irene, Cher & El for the really expensive dinner at Oso which is highly recommended by Chris for the longest time now. Service was good and food was not too bad either.

7) Ed gor for re-continuing the bday tradition - bday breakfast for me!! It was stopped for a while coz of certain people but it's back to the tradition again! Yay!!

8) Everyone who remembered my bday - pressies are not the most important factor. It's the

thought that counts and everyone who remembered and wished me a Happy Bday thro all various method have made me feel really touched and very happy! :) Even Mr Z sang me a bday song. Haha. Unbelievable!

Of coz, what's my bday without Eeyore? He brought me to Garibaldi for dinner. Food is definitely not as nice as Jaan but I'm not complaining. It's the company that counts and I felt like a princess that nite. Thanks for the lovely pressies, which I'm currently using now to type this post! :p Not forgetting the beautiful flowers that came to office, unknown. The surprises for 2010 bday are fantastic!

Due to the loss of my camera, I don't have the photo of us together on my bday. :(

Cooked sweet & sour pork for dinner on 01 Jan 2011 as I wanted to do something different instead of always eating. Not very successful as it's the 1st time I'm cooking for so many people but my supportive family said it wasn't too bad. Haha, Jus trying to make me feel good. :D I'll try harder next time.

Once again, I must say that overall, 2010 was a pretty fantastic year for me and it really did fly by too fast. Hoping that 2011 will be even better than 2010!!!

Looking forward to playing with Lynnie's baby tomorrow, dinner on Wed, drinks with Lisa, Sylvia, Shi Han & Jerome on Thurs, BBQ on Sat, JB on Sun.

Then, further looking forward the following week which includes dinner with XZ on 1 of the nites, dinner with the Er Mei Pai ladies on Thurs nite, flying off to Jakarta on Fri nite to Sun to visit dearest Mahesh, Krupa and baby Dev.

More activities all planned up to February!! Can't wait!! The only sad thing is that Eeyore won't be around for 1.5 weeks of CNY period. :_( Much as I'm gonna miss him, I'm gonna arrange dinner dates! Hahaha. Meet up with everyone! :p Then it's off to HK for me! WOOHOOO!!!

2011 looks good so far!!! Hope it's the same for everyone! Have a good year ahead!!!

Lasik - Yes or No?

2010-12-26T14:49:00.003+08:00

Last nite (or rather early this morning) while sending Ann home, we had a talk in the car. She was advising me to go for lasik.

For many a times now, I've been hesitant and unwilling to try. I've seen friends who end up having to wear specs at night or being unable to see clearly when there's a lot of lights. With my pathetic eyesight, I'm not sure what the final outcome will be and if it'll end up well. I don't wanna end up having to still wear specs.

But what I'm most dreading is the fact that I'll have to wear specs for a couple of months before I can go for the review and the actual op. I've always been vain in the fact that I think I look really ugly with specs. Not really say ugly but my eyesight is so bad that I know people can always tell by the "rings" in my glasses. I really hate it when people look at me and go "wah.. your eyesight is quite bad hor?" or "wah.. ur glasses are so thick".

Sigh.. For the sake of beauty and perfect eyesight thereafter, I know I have to overcome that horrible dreaded feeling of being criticised and all the snide remarks that will be coming my way. I have to live as an ugly duckling again before I can attain my idea of being "pretty" without specs or the hassle of glasses ever again.

I haven't worn glasses out in public (at least not town or to office) ever since I turned 15. It's been 13 years of vanity. I need a lot of courage to get over my emotional hurdle. Maybe the pros do outweigh the cons but I think I need a lot of support and encouragement to do it.

Dear friends who read my blog, pls lemme know your thoughts on whether I should go for it. Thanks!!! :)

2010 Review Part 2 & Merry Xmas!

2010-12-24T22:59:00.002+08:00

Forgot to mention in the previous post that this year, another wonderful thing that happened is the occasional gathering with Shi Han, Lisa and Sylvia. Our drinking sessions are always filled with crap but a lot of laughter. :)

Today is kinda boring at work. Had diarrhoea almost the whole day which sucked. Much as December is my favourite month of the year, I always somehow end up sick either on Xmas or my bday. Sigh.. Praying hard that I can recover within the next 4 days!

Jus taken my medicine . Think the effect is hitting me fast. Eyes are tired but tummy is churning yet again. I better enjoy my beauty sleep soon. Nite nitez all and Merry Xmas!!! :)

2010 Review

2010-12-23T22:18:00.006+08:00

It's nearing the end of the year again and honestly, this year has flown by so quickly that I can bearly recall what happened throughout the year. I know it's only the 23rd of December but I've got dinner plans everyday from 25th onwards til the end of the year, hence the early review of this year. My bet is that I'll write about some of the other stuff that will happen next week after the review. :)

Anyway, so here's my brief review from what my limited memory. 1st 4 months of the year were pure torture to me. Biased managers and superiors meant I did not get the promotion that I well deserve. Irritating manager also meant that I was extremely unhappy at work. Waiting for my interview anxiously kept me going strong and gave me the will to get thro the most unhappy months of the year.

No words can ever describe the joy when I was told to go for the 2nd interview and when HR contacted me to sign the contract. Those were the most incredible and memorable moments of the year! And I know I will never ever look back and regret the decision of moving out of the horrible department and getting to where I am coz I worked hard to get here and I'm extremely happy where I am right now. =)

The months that follow from June onwards have been pure bliss and joy. I've never felt such an emotion in a long time. I became who I was once again - the happy go lucky, ever smiling and cheerful person whom I once knew but lost for 3 years. It all came back to me and my temper and emotions are more under control.

Friends came and went. Quarrels, arguments and unhappiness between friends, between Eeyore over the months. I put that all behind me and continue my life stronger and better than before. I will not let my unhappiness get me down. Not when my parents passed away, and definitely not over some arguments with friends or even bf. I have a lot more to look forward to in my life than that.

I have always been and will always be, a person who is happy with the simplest things in life. Sometimes, the simplest of words or actions, and not the materialistic things, can put a smile on my face for the longest time. And I have been smiling a lot more so why let unhappiness take the cheer in my heart away from me?

And of coz, a most memorable wedding of 2 great friends - Sid & Stef! Those few days living with the babes, hanging out together 24/7 were absolutely amazing!!! The crazy bunch of us.. All crying at the wedding will always always be imprinted in my heart and memory coz we were all touched and happy that they are married! :))))))

Not forgetting to mention meeting up with M and finally, his wife as well! Also knowing that Kelv gor will be joining me as a friend cum colleague. Enjoying myself at the year end party was memorable too! All the happy moments of my year! But another not too happy part is that I keep falling sick this year. Terrible!!! Need to work on getting my health back.

This year has definitely been another 1 with ups and downs. But I'm jus thankful that the upside of my life has more than outweighed the downside of my life. I am also extremely blessed with fantastic supportive friends who have been with me throughout my ups and downs. I am more than looking forward to 2011 coz I know I'll work harder than ever to achieve my dream. With the wonderful support from my team and from Mr Z who is more than willing to teach and help me, I sure hope I succeed!! May 2011 be a good year ahead!

Sidenote from my review of the year: I received my 1st ever Xmas tree from Nathan - 1 of my traders. That was extra sweet of him coz I merely mentioned that I've never had a Xmas tree in my life ever before as he was going to buy 1 for his daughter. And I left office early coz I had a fever and next day when I reached, the little Xmas tree was sitting on my desk. :D Very happy and very grateful!!!

Sidenote 2: Finally met KK and Xiao Ming for drinks and dinner. It's been a while since we last met and I'm looking foward to my 1 on 1 dinner with KK next week. He's 1 buddy who encouraged to leave my previous department and I know he's someone I can count on if I ever get into any trouble. :>

Penang 12-14 Dec 2010

2010-12-21T17:45:00.005+08:00

After being sick for a whole week, I'm down with fever again today! WTF!! Sigh.. Not sure what happened again but this time round, I decided to give the doctor a visit.

While sleeping at home, drilling works was going on from goodness knows where n I couldn't sleep again. :( I hate being sick, esp when it's so near Xmas season.

Grateful that Irene helped me to buy lunch and my team for allowing me to leave much earlier than I wanted. Couldn't stand being in office after taking my medicine as my eyes were on the verge of closing.

Quite a few people have asked me what I'll be doing for my bday. 10 days time.. I have no idea what I'll be doing other than heading back to work. I don't mind working on my bday anymore. 5 years of such life, I'm actually used to it. Different groups of friends are asking me out for dinner to celebrate my bday. Been telling them there's no need to celebrate. Haha.

Oh, mus thank my beloved group of bellas for planning a surprise party for me though I found out about it. Haha, silly Jean. Sooo funny! But I had a good laugh and I appreciate their thoughts and efforts. Thanks babes and guys!! Love ya all!!

Ok, time for me to take another nap. My head's still soooo heavy despite the muscle relaxant. Eyes feel like they are burning. Why must I be sick again??? Damn..

Oh oh, before I publish this post, I forgot to mention that I was in Penang recently (12-14 Dec) and had a great time eating, eating n eating. Maybe that's why I'm sick again.. Coz I gained weight!! :( And dear Vic (Eeyore's youngest bro) came to Singapore!! Spent more than a week with him in both Penang, KL and SG. He's a cute guy.. Really funny and adorable. Hehe.

Supportive Colleagues Rock!

2010-12-11T22:27:00.002+08:00

In the devil may care attitude these days. Give no shit to what others think nor really wanna care either.

The office year end party has come and gone (09 dec). Woke up at 5am jus to doll up and prepare for the party. I'm real glad that I went instead of the occasional "I don't feel like going" thoughts that kept coming to my mind. Had tonnes of fun, drinks and laughter. Stuck with my team the whole time and they actually told me a lot of things. :) Even the opinion of my makeup and the whole outfit, esp the knee length boots effect on the whole trading floor - guys & gals. Hahaha.

My mentor said I drank like a goldfish that nite. Probably smoked like a chimney too. Danced my ass off. The rubber sole on my left foot came off while I was running around Hard Rock playing the featured game. Hopefully my boots can still be repaired! I love that pair of boots!

Before the party started, I had a chat with 1 of my trader. Over drinks and some ciggies, he told me about front office life and how I should make my way into becoming a trader. He even said that I can always sit with him or my mentor if I'm really keen to learn how to trade. My heart skipped a beat when I heard that! I sooooo wanna learn trading and earn big bucks. The next morning back in office, I told my trader that I'll start sitting with him soon. And he was extremely willing to accept that. COOL!

Had coffee with Mr Z on Friday afternoon as well and I told him about my decision to learn about trading as he had also encouraged me previously. He was very supportive about it and even volunteered to provide me with more background knowledge (notes and all) before I start learning. Really touched to have such supportive people around me who are willing to impart their knowledge to me!

2010 has been an awesome year for me despite some downs along the way with arguments, broken friendships, and whatever other shit that happened to me. Career wise - I must say that I'm blessed and thankful. At least there's 1 aspect of my life that's moving great and in the correct direction. Makes everything else seem small but better, if you know what I mean.

This song is still stuck in my head after the party on Thurs - I Hate Myself For Loving You.

Work hard and party hard people! Miss the drinking/clubbing days of my life but I'm glad it's all coming back to me now. Time to relive some of the good old days! Woohoo!!!

My Fave Month - December!

2010-12-07T20:43:00.003+08:00

December is and will always be my favourite month of the year coz it's quiet, there's Xmas and there's my bday! Hehe. I love Decembers!

But then, this December, people have managed to piss me off at work a couple of times. 1st was a really rude HK bitch who kept hanging up on me when I wasn't even looking for her and I called the direct line of the guy I was looking for. Stupid dumbass woman!

2nd time was today. Some issues at work. A simple problem became so tedious and complicated all coz my idiotic and egoistic ex-manager refuse to listen to my dealer and I and insisting on his way. I thought about it for 3 hours and still felt it was wrong. Went to my dealer again and she went to her mentor for her help. Proved that we were correct and dumb ex-manager was wrong.

My dealer's mentor called up my ex-manager and told him the correct procedure n that we were initially correct to begin with. Ex-manager kept trying to rebutt but the mentor refused to even let him utter a word! Hahaha. I was giggling while listening to the whole conversation on the phone. Serves him right! Wasting everyone's time and brain cells jus coz he thinks he's smart.

I've been doing this for 3.5 years now and he's only been doing it for a few months! Don't bloody doubt my capabilities jus coz u're not smart! POOO!!! Even Lisa who has only been in the job for 6 months knew he was wrong, yet that smart alec couldn't see what everyone could. Made Lisa do so much extra work. Annoying!!

Gotta let it out or I'll go mad. Haha. Feels much better now. :p Once again, I feel that my wisest move is to get out of my previous department with such lousy supervisors to here where I'm always happy and having fun. Really must do my best to get Lisa out from that department as well!

Ohhhh.. Good news!! Kelv gor is joining where I work in Jan but in Millenia Tower! WOOOTT!! As gor put it, I'll have another friend at the same work area and not just another colleague! Yay yay yay!!!! Happy!!!

Office Idols

2010-11-30T18:43:00.003+08:00

Walking home in the relentless rain, what's the point of walking under shelters when my feet were still soaked? Being sick in this weather jus sucks but Ben managed to make me stay positive. Hmm.. Gotta stop complaining about me being sick. Makes me feel like I'm such an attention seeker.

But then again, while I was in office this afternoon, I had chest pains that were so bad til every move I made jus hurts my chest and my heart was beating at an extra fast pace. Body gone mad and crazy though I think it's more caused by sudden stress at work and the endless coughing. Oh well, at least I'm ok after taking a breather to the ladies and to the pantry. :)

The person whom I am wondering if he's colleague or friend, let's jus call him Mr Z coz I don't wanna expose his identity. Mr Z is making me confused - he didn't comment much on the thing I did. I dunno his thoughts. I thought I'll play it cool at work yesterday but he was so warm to me that I was at a loss of what to do.

In the evening, Mr Z asked me to go for a drink (non-alcoholic) coz I stayed late in office to settle some outstanding issues. We had a chat about his family, my work background and he asked me a question which I have been pondering for a while now. He asked me where I see myself in 2 years time - what would I be doing such as trader etc. I wonder too.. I dunno but I did think about it the whole nite. I might pick up my books again and study on my own what I'm doing right now.

In my years of working life, I have idolised a few people from work - Olly, Debbie, Cathy and now, Mr Z. They have been fantastic role models whom I look up to although I think some people won't agree with me. But to me, undeniably is that they are competent in their work and definitely, in their knowledge. I have a lot to learn from them.

So is Mr Z a colleague or a friend? I still wonder but we don't talk much about ourselves and stuff. It's mainly crap that we talk about and mostly stuff in the office. Definitely still a colleague. :p

Friends or Colleagues?

2010-11-28T13:37:00.002+08:00

Recovering slowly but surely. Finally. Nose dropping off from all the blowing.

I might have done something that I shouldn't regarding work. Not feeling good about what I did. Better to treat colleagues as colleagues instead of as friends. U never know who's going to betray u or what political games others are playing. Too late for regrets now but I've learnt my mistake and I'll make sure I learn it well. Mindset's gotta change and I've gotta stop being so naive.

Grandma's discharged today. Phew.. Jus left with a red patch on her face but at least the swelling's gone down. All's good for now and I'm thankful for that.

Met up with Josh and Belinda, Roy and Sheila, Leo and Lisa for Josh's bday drinks. Yes, I was still having my damned flu when I went to meet them. Was at Alley Bar and made to drink 2 pints despite the flu and popping Panadol in the afternoon after lunch. Oh well.. They tried making Lisa smoke so I took the ciggie on her behalf. Rash outbreak almost immediately over the weekend. Stupid after-effects that I get and it's sooo dreadful, hateful and irritating.

I know.. Most people will think that I don't treasure my life but come what may. I believe that my death date has been decided when I was born so I'm jus gonna enjoy my life to the fullest. :)

Sick + Gram in Hospital = BAD

2010-11-25T22:41:00.002+08:00

After popping pills, I'm still not fully recovered. In fact, it got worse in the afternoon today. Gosh.. What is wrong with me??

And I hate the fact that I'm sick at the wrong time. I had to postpone drinks sessions and what made it worse is that.. Gram was rushed to A&E this evening. Right when I stepped out of office and was at the MRT station all ready to go for drinks when Aunt Marg called. Gram had a huge patch of rash on her face that was all red and swollen. It was spreading rapidly and she had a fever as well.

Drinks plan had to be shoved aside as I rushed to the hospital. Sorry babes and guy! Waited for the ambulance to send Gram to hospital and finally saw how Gram was doing. I knew the patch was painful and hot. Poor Gram had to go thro all that... She was put on drip, given an injection of antibiotics for her fever and had a huge tube of blood taken from her to run tests to see what was causing the rash. She was screaming and shouting in pain the whole time. How my heart ached then..

Somehow, I know Gram will be fine coz I don't have the "not good" feeling. I can sense such things most of the time and there is no such feeling now. I've said many times that should anything happen to Gram, my world will come crushing down and it still will. Hope she will be ok soon. Glad to have supportive and wonderful colleagues even though they are all much higher ranked than me and I've only been working with them for 6 months.

Can only hope that this stupid flu will go away so that I can visit Gram in the hospital tomorrow. Glad that I'm given permission to start later and end work earlier tomorrow. I need the rest to recover faster and the care & understanding showered on me by them have been a huge morale booster. I must get well soon!

Busy & Sick

2010-11-24T20:48:00.002+08:00

On my busiest day in this job thus far, I worked 12 hours while being sick. Popping panadols to cure the flu and the fever that came along with it in order to concentrate at work while half the time, I was feeling really sleepy.

8 cups of tea, 1 bottle of herbal tea, 2 litres of water later.. Not to mention the cup of Redoxon, and plenty of Vicks vapor sweets and inhaler, I feel more human except for a leaking nose, a heavy head and droopy eyes right now.

It's been a while since I've last had a bad flu and today was 1 of those times. Rushing down to the pharmacy the minute it opened was memorable. Thank goodness that I'm working in town now. But it was a pity I had to forsake the ever so tempting Magnum Gold so as not to worsen things. :(

Hoping to recover by tonite coz we're shorthanded for the rest of the week til mid Dec. Time to dig out previous medication from doctor and to head on to bed for some much needed rest..

Skinny PIzza

2010-11-23T21:09:00.004+08:00

Jus came back from a great dinner session at Skinny Pizza with a close friend, M, whom I haven't met in a year. This time round, he brought his wife along but yet, we were still able to talk as freely as always. :) I had a very enjoyable time catching up on our lives.

Dear M, thanks for the concern over all these years. Thanks for always caring and the sms-es that u will send me when I'm down, be it family matters or relationship affairs. U have been a wonderful friend all these years, showering me with your concern and offering your advice but never forcing it on me.

I appreciate your company all this while and I know I always will coz u never cease to make me laugh everytime we meet. :) Thanks for everything!

Major Screw Up

2010-11-18T19:49:00.003+08:00

I really think I might give myself a heart attack or get a nervous breakdown someday, at the rate that I screw up at work. The screw up this time involved USD 88 million! I swear my heart nearly skipped a beat when I realised what happened. My guardian angels up above must be really busy looking after me.

Not sure why but I suddenly decided to stay a bit longer in the office today coz if I hadn't and this issue was only resolved tomorrow, I can't imagine the possible loss that might hit my trader's books. Even retrenching me will not be enough to pay for the damages. Mus also thank god that Kelvin was around to help me, or I'll be soooo dead. Issue was resolved thankfully by 5.57pm, ahead of the cut off time of 6pm or I'll still be dead. Phew! Sweat was definitely trickling down my back and I was sooo nervous I could barely stand or sit still.

2nd major screw up in 7 months of working there. This is bad! I need to focus and concentrate on my work under all circumstances. This issue happened coz I was complacent and I was unhappy that day as well. Can't let anything affect my work from now on coz the mistake is too costly and I dread to think of what might have happened if the issue wasn't spotted in time. My head would probably be rolling on the floor.. I shudder to think of the consequences.

I am very relieved to say that this issue now only cost a loss of USD 1,000 due to instant rectification from Kelvin and definitely, a very understanding Chris coz it will be a huge loss in his books and no matter how sweet and nice he is to me, I'm sure he'll be extremely pissed with the loss coz it will definitely affect bonus! Phew phew phew!! Thanking my lucky stars and everyone who helped! I owe Kelvin a huge one! :p Caution and opening my eyes wide are definitely the way to go now.

On a brighter note, I watched Harry Potter last nite after work. :) It was alright, but a little draggy. Waiting for the final part of the show to be out and I'll probably need to do an entire Harry Potter marathon coz I can't remember the storyline of the shows already! Releasing 1 Harry Potter movie a year is too long for me to remember what I've watched! Hahaha.

On a crazy note, I went to sing karaoke on my own for 3 hours! Yup, I was in a room, all by myself, belting out songs after songs after songs. It's kinda like my own mini concert and amazing to say, I actually enjoyed singing by myself for 3 consecutive hours! I could repeat the songs that I've sung, or simply sing songs that are sung by male singers. I need not worry about being in tune, and be happily out of pitch for all I care coz no one is around to hear it! Hahahaha! U might think I'm crazy but most importantly is I had fun! :p

On a bad note, the little smoking episode has caused me a minor rash outbreak again. Not helped by the fact that I have recently become a live target for mosquitos to fleece on fresh blood. I have at least 10 mosquito bites on me and still counting. I get at least 1 or 2 new bites a day! It's insane! The mozzie bites are way more itchy than my rash which is darn irritating. I had to buy Mopiko during lunch time to apply in office coz it was sooo itchy. I have this nagging feeling I was bitten in office. Hmmm...

On reflection, I realised that the year is coming to an end and I have yet to fulfil my 2nd resolution for the year - to get my driving licence! OMG! I have been procrastinating for the longest time! I really should get my ass moving and do what I need to do.

Water Under The Bridge

2010-11-15T22:29:00.004+08:00

It's a brand new week and I'm back to the same old me! Not gonna dwell on things anymore. Life has to move on and the world doesn't stop moving coz I'm unhappy. Neither do I think my parents will wanna see me in this emotional, upset state of mind for too long. So, happiness is always the way to go.

I jus wish that people will tell me things directly instead of using not so subtle, indirect methods by posting on FB and stuff. But honestly, whatever. I don't think I'm the only person in the wrong in this argument and I've apologised twice. Not like my friend apologised when he was sarcastic to me coz it's all jus a joke. So, in all aspects to the apology and whether he wanna continue this friendship, I'll say this.. Take it or leave it. Do whatever coz I'm not gonna dwell or think about this anymore. It's too childish and too ridiculous. We are adults and grown ups so we should act like 1 instead of starting word wars/sarcasm in any way possible. I'm jus so over and done with this issue. Not gonna talk about it anymore anywhere. It's erased from the record called my brain.

With regards to Eeyore and I, I've learnt to live and let live. Maybe even let go of certain things. Some changes will be taking place, for me at least. Jus hope he does his part too. More control and restraint, less conflicts and arguments. More patience and understanding, less irritation and temper flying. Basically, I'm gonna have to be more chill and "zen" so that everything will seem less annoying in my world.

So how does that sound to all my dear friends who read my blog? Think it will work? Hahaha. I'm not sure but I'm gonna try hard. Maybe u guys who read my blog can be wonderful help by nagging at me often and drilling it into me, especially when I lose control. Permission is granted by me to all of u for scolding and nagging me so pls make full use of it eh! This opportunity doesn't come often but don't abuse it too. Hehehe.

Anyway, all the bad stuff that happened last week is now water under the bridge and the happy-go-lucky me is back in action! Life is too short for me to be unhappy for so long. It used to last only a day and now, it's a week! Tsk tsk. Enough of wasting time being depressed. With friends like mine around me, things get back to normal fast enough for me to lift my mood up again. Thanks everyone!! Love always!!

PS: Cooking can be sooo therapeutic!!

Emotional Period For Me

2010-11-12T20:30:00.004+08:00

Hasn't been good for me recently but I think it's getting better, or so I hope.. I wish to forget but I know I can't coz there's no outlet for me to let it out (I don't like to tell my family unlike others who love talking to their family members and blindly following or agreeing with their advice.. I'll probably be rebutting them and I want some sort of privacy) so what better way than to blog. My friends can judge me or jus take it with a pinch of salt.. if u have my blog address means u know me well enough to know what kind of person I am.

Bad Stuff

1) Huge argument with Eeyore. He hinted at some stuff and kicked up a huge fuss when everytime he does the same, I keep quiet. He went way beyond the limit and all I did was be a little furious and I was only 1/5 of what he did and he made it into a big issue. I've had enough and I was annoyed but yet, I controlled. Then, he made it worse by saying and hinting that I'm materialistic again. He didn't say it out loud that I'm materialistic but his reaction and the words that came out of his mouth were ugly. I've never felt more insulted in my life.

He didn't even see the thing properly and he jus ranted at me. It was seriously the worst moment ever. I controlled real hard and I went to the toilet, intending to shower but ended up crying and wondering why the hell I'm still trying so hard to make this work. If that's his thinking of me, in the worst possible manner ever coz of his previous experiences, then nothing will ever change his mindset coz he's too stubborn.

I felt insulted, I felt wronged. I cried, real hard and real bad. Even now, when I think back on that nite, my tears fill up in my eyes and roll down my cheeks. It hurts, really does! And I can't look at him without feeling insulted and wronged. I haven't spoken much to him since then, let alone go to work together. I don't even wish to be in the same space as him. But he apologised to me today for making me upset. I would rather the apology be for looking at me in the horrid way that he does and makes me feel.

2) I wish to have a simple life. Things spoil and if I can live with it, I'll gladly do so. I've gone past the phase where I need branded stuff or whatsoever. I have learnt to know and prioritize needs from wants. Had a quarrel with a friend coz of such an issue. It's the way things were said and how things ended up, the sarcasm and how ridiculous it seems that makes me sad. But I still stand by my point. A need is not a want. If it can still be used, I'll still use it. I want a simple life. That's all that I ask for.

"How to win friends" - I don't need to win friends. I have friends, quite a few close ones too. My daddy used to tell me that a person doesn't need that many friends. A few close ones are more than enough. As I grow older, I realise that too. If u don't like me as a friend, u r free to leave. If u want to be my friend, then pls understand the way that I am.

The above 2 events made my mood drop right into depression. To a point where I wonder why I even bother about anything anymore. To the point I really wanted to give up on everything and everyone. Til good stuff started happening..

3) Wiped out my entire iTunes library coz I was using an app to create a ringtone. Sigh.. The hassle of it all. Yet to settle this issue. Guess it'll have to wait..

Good Stuff

1) Lunch with Josh since a long long time ago. It's so nice to meet up with old friends to catch up on life. He bought me lunch at Kenny Rogers and Royce chocs to cheer me up and to thank me for helping him to look for a job when he was down and out. He said something that made me really really touched and look at myself in a different light.

He told me that there was a day he was so close to jus giving up looking for a job. He had been out of a job for months. He couldn't get anything. Even the most possible job that he nearly got, he didn't get it in the end. And that particular day, he was ready to jus let go of everything and surrender. I sms-ed him if he has found a job and asked if he still needed my help to look for whatever is available.

A simple gesture of an sms changed his outlook. He wondered why when he was ready to give up, his friend aka me had not and was still concerned if he had found 1. That was when he knew that he mustn't give up hope when I'm still looking out for him. And he was really thankful and appreciative to me, coz he felt he would not have his job now if he had given up then. :)

Simple words and actions (not the chocs but the gratefulness) made me realise that I shouldn't be sad at all. Some people may not appreciate me as a friend but there are others who will. Not everything is about money. Jus the thought is good enough. And from then on, my gloominess and depression took a huge leap and I knew I was on the road to being normal again.

2) Drinks and dinner with my traders and brokers. They made me laugh endlessly. A bunch of guys with me being the only female. Topics revolved around porn, sex and women of coz. It was interesting to hear the perspective of everyone in these topics. Kinda make me know what some men think. We drank a lot but it felt good!

I have quit smoking long ago and they actually managed to make me smoke a few sticks that nite. Not that I minded coz I've had a tad too much to drink. The food was yummylicious and I still miss the mouthwatering wagyu beef and sashimi from Keyaki!!

3) I may not be appreciated by my own bf or some friends but my traders treat me like a gem. They call me a star, a rock, a legend. Whatever they wanna call me, I'm fine with it coz they have given me lots of compliment and are always thankful and grateful for my help. My job is to assist them (trading assistant, duh!) so it's part of the job yet they r soooo appreciative of it. Jus brightens the day everytime I'm at work. I'm really glad that I left the department that made me angry and impatient with the world and came to a department where it's sunshine and rainbow everyday! :)

Overall, I have a lot to be thankful for in life. So why make myself unhappy and sad? A lot of friends who saw my facebook postings and my previous post have asked me privately if I'm fine or subtly show me that they care about me and will be there for me no matter what. I'm blessed with lotsa fantastic people around me and I'm touched and honoured. To all who have been there for me and will continue being there for me, thank u for everything! U know who u r so I'm gonna let u guys keep ur privacy too, no names to be mentioned here in this post.

Expectation and Disappointment

2010-11-05T00:21:00.004+08:00

The whole of today, u told me to leave at 11pm for my buddy Alan's farewell. U said u will pick me up then. U told me that u were tired n u don't want to send any of my friends home when u picked me up.

In the end, I took a cab home at 12 midnight by myself. At 12.30am, I still don't see u at home. So much for being tired.. And I cannot believe u actually thought I'm upset coz I had to pay my own cab fare. Never knew what u thought of me til that instant. How lowly and cheapskate u consider me to be that I can't pay my own cab fare. I've never needed a guy in my life, much less 1 to pay for things for me. I have been self sufficient all along. I earn my own income. I never cared about ur $. Don't think of me in such a materialistic way. It only makes me hate u.

It's not the 1st time that promises are broken. It's not gonna be the last either. Every eve of public holiday, u say u're tired. U tell me u need to go meet ur friends for some clubbing action. U said u'll be home early. Yes, early in the morning at 6am when I was showering and getting ready for work. And again, u r tired but u can meet ur best friend til so late and I have no idea what u guys r doing.

I'm tired from all these broken promises. I knew u were not coming to pick me up right from the start no matter what u said. I knew it in my heart. I jus didn't say it out. I said it b4 and I'm gonna reiterate it. I have no expectations from u at all coz all I get is always nothing but disappointment. And I'm right about it, yet again.

I don't question, and I won't show my disappointment. Hope u had fun tonite.

Stef & Sid Wedding - 23 Oct 2010

2010-10-25T19:36:00.002+08:00

It was a fun and enjoyable trip to be 1 of the bridesmaids at a close girlfriend's wedding! Sooo happy for both Stef and Sid!

I know I kinda screwed up the speech that I wanted to say during the wedding with the shivering, etc. So here's the actual full version that I wanted to say. For my beloved Stef and Sid - Congrats once again!

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have known Stef for almost 10 years now. From the 1st day we stepped into SIM and went for an ODAC camp together til today. From Sex and The City babes til today, we have formed the Spice Girls group jus now at the table. Eevon - Posh Spice, Anne - Baby Spice, Jean - Scary Spice, Joseph - Ginger Spice and Magz - Sporty Spice. Sad to say Stef, as u r now married, u r known as Aunty Spice.

All along we thought that Stef will definitely not be the 1st to get married amongst us girls but by Murphy's Law, here we are today attending her wedding to Sid. The 1st time I met Sid was on Xmas Eve 2008 where all of us squeezed into a hotel room and played a game of hide and seek in the room. The most memorable part of the nite had to be when we saw Sid plastered against the wall in a spiderman position! Those were the days!

We all knew Stef is a good cook and she's found a matching partner in her love for cooking! Knowing them both, we have been eating lots of wonderful meals prepared by them. It's no wonder we are getting fatter as we know one another longer! :)

We are all very happy for Stef and Sid today and we're very glad to be attending their wedding now. Stay happy and lovey dovey together forever!!"

Krabi, Phi Phi & Phuket - 08 to 17 Oct 2010

2010-10-25T18:48:00.013+08:00

A very last minute but yet, enjoyable trip to the sunny beaches of Thailand! Sorry, I know I wrote a lot on this post but then, I don't wanna miss out on the details and I can read about the crazy stuff I did a few years down the road.. So if it's too long, I guess u guys better stop reading soon.. But then again, pics will not be posted on Facebook coz i don't wanna the curious ones from office to probe. Hehe.

08 Oct - Arrived at Krabi and we kicked off the trip with an approximate 10km walk til I couldn't walk anymore! It was a little crazy and tiring but yet, I actually enjoyed myself. Had dinner at the Krabi night market where everything only cost THB 30 for heaps of ingredients and tasted soooo local! Hardly any tourists there coz it was difficult to get back to where the resorts were unless u are willing to pay exorbitant fares. Managed to convince a motorbike taxi to send us back for a much cheaper rate. My 1st time squeezing 3 people on a bike!

09 Oct - Went kayaking early in the morning and got to know 2 Singaporeans and 2 French guys. :) was fun til I got bitten at least 20 times by mozzies at a cave! Nearly scratched and tore my skin apart from the itch! Went to a small little island called Railay in the afternoon. 1st time we took a longtail boat. Was splashed by sea water the entire journey there. Kinda exciting if u ask me. :p we climbed up to the top of a very steep cliff to see the lagoon and viewpoint. It was a scary climb coz we were in slippers and it was kinda like rock climbing but with real rocks, trees and it's a cliff. Not to mention, muddy! There was a rope available at certain parts of the climb but not the entire climb. Takes about 30 minutes and another 30 minutes down though I mus say coming down is definitely more dangerous than going up. But the breathtaking view up there was well worth it! And I climbed in my bikini top (not wanting to dirty my white top with the mud), shorts and flip flops. Crazy but hell fun! Won't mind doing it again and at least, it puts my rock climbing skills in action!

10 Oct - Ferry to Phi Phi island~! 2 hour ferry ride and lots of people were sea sick along the way. The kid behind me kept puking and his mum kept opening the windows to let the air out. :( Felt bad for the kid but he did make me wanna puke too. Thank goodness I was alright and have no history of any form of motion sickness. The moment we reached Phi Phi, the boat owners tried to fleece us off by wanting us to pay THB 1,200 to take a longtail boat to our resort which was 30 mins away from the main stretch. Eeyore had a huge argument with 1 of the leaders of the boat owners and no boat owners were willing to take us to our resort after that coz they took his lead. We called the resort a lot of times and finally got thro! In the end, we paid only THB 200 for our boat ride to our resort! Yeah! Had my fave - Thai fried rice for dinner that nite. Somehow, the fried rice in Thailand is soooo delicious that I can't find the same taste back in SG. :( I miss the fried rice already though I ate it at least 4-5 times! Bad thing about our resort was that it uses filtered sea water as tap water. My skin got a horrible outbreak of rash after 2 days of staying there that it really spoilt my mood.

11 Oct - Went on my 1st snorkelling trip! Took a longtail boat to Maya Bay where The Beach was filmed. 1st time snorkelling with no proper instructions, I was cursing and swearing the whole time. Thank goodness Eeyore forced me to wear the life jacket or I am sure I would have drowned. Huge waves and I was drinking in sea water the whole time coz the mask was slightly faulty. Damn it! Was soooo tired by the time that I reached the beach, I didn't enjoy it at all. Spent the day well though by sightseeing a little and no more snorkelling for me that day. Back at the resort area in the afternoon and I was dying for a massage to soothe my painfully aching muscles. While massaging by the beach, it started to pour! The blinds did nothing to block the rain oout as the wind was too strong. So the massage was a mixture of oil and rain water on my body. Haha, another experience!

12 Oct - Decided to have a quiet day lazing on the beach and suntanning. Saw a beautiful sunset from another hotel and this shot is taken on my phone!

13 Oct - Eeyore wanted to experience being on a speedboat so we booked 1 with the next door resort (our own resort was seriously sucky) and went to Bamboo island for snorkelling again! But this time round, it was a lot more enjoyable as the hotel guide showed us how to do it and we practiced in the swimming pool b4 leaving for the island. The guide was swimming with us throughout the whole snorkelling experience and the sea was a lot less rough than the previous time, I actually did enjoy myself! And I didn't even drink any sea water this time! Saw lots of beautiful coral reefs and multi coloured fishes swimming around me! Didn't have a waterproof camera with me hence was unable to take pictures of the gorgeous sights! :( sky started to turn dark when we were supposed to go to Mosquito island hence that was cancelled. :_( Booked a upclass massage with the next door resort (I love that resort.. Zeavola) and enjoyed my 2 hours of body wrap and massage that made me feel sooo relaxed!

14 Oct - Ferry time again! This time to Phuket! More people vomitted on this ferry and we couldn't stand the stench nor the sounds anymore so we stood outside at the deck for about an hour of the 2 hour journey. Actually, I prefer being on the deck - enjoying the sea wind (too strong to be called a breeze), looking at the serenity of the sea and sky and listening to the songs on my Iphone. Makes u feel sooo peaceful and happy. Well, at least for me. Checked in to a beautiful hotel called Avista and I was blown away. 1st thought in my mind - long hot shower in the bath tub for a nice clean shower finally! And I finally had Wifi to surf net! Woohoo! But actually, we paid for the Club Room hence it was sooo nice! Haha. Nothing is free in this world but seriously, the hotel was really nice to begin with. A very welcoming change from the previous 2 hotels we stayed in.

15 Oct - Down to Kata Beach in the morning and we were 2 unhappy souls there. I insisted on doing a henna as per always when on trip but he didn't like the idea coz he thinks it will look awful when I attend Stef & Sid's wedding the next weekend. :( didn't talk for hours where he lazed on the beach and I was annoyed so I read my book. Finally decided to talk again and we had lunch, followed by a 4 hour walk up and down roads where only cars drove on and not people like us walking to 1st look for the viewpoint but was toooo far and inconvenient to walk to. Then it was to look for a massage place that was supposedly at Kata but we couldn't find it. Walked all the way with no rest or stopping time. I really dunno where I found so much energy and strength to walk that much and that far! Headed back to hotel and we took the free shuttle to go to Patong instead. Walked around for about 2 hours (yes, walked again!) b4 heading back to Kata and we both decided that we preferred Kata wayyyyy better than Phuket!

16 Oct - We decided to rent a motorbike to travel around and it was Eeyore's 1st time riding a bike with someone behind him. Was a little rocky at 1st but by the end of the day, we were doing well! Haha. Rode around Kata, went to Karon then headed to Patong to finally get to the massage place that we were looking for the 1st day we reached Phuket. Spent 2 hours there and headed back to hotel for a quiet dinner at the restaurant downstairs before returning to the room to pack up for our flight home the next day.

17 Oct - Flight home to SG.

Overall, this was the most different trip from all my beach holidays! I have really never walked this much on beach holidays and I tried a lot of new activities on this trip and had lotsa new experiences. Very interesting trip and I came back, tanned and healthy! Love my skin colour now though most people think it's too tanned. Oh well, as long as I had fun and I like it, that is what matters!

Mdm Kwa Geok Choo aka Mrs Lee Kuan Yew

2010-10-05T21:32:00.003+08:00

Not sure why but felt the urge to blog about our late Mrs Lee Kuan Yew who passed away peacefully on 01 October 2010 at the age of 90.

Been reading a lot of news articles. I do not know her personally but I've been lucky to have lunch with our current MM when he was still the PM of our country. I didn't get the chance to speak with him and I was only a little girl of about 12 then. Mr Lee Kuan Yew's younger bro happens to be my family doctor as well and has always treated with a lot of love and care. I am happy to have known them. Digression.. Better return back to the topic.

Mrs Lee Kuan Yew aka Mdm Kwa Geok Choo - a very intelligent woman who later became a lawyer and was happily married to Mr Lee Kuan Yew for 61 long years! 61 years!!!! It's really an amazing length of time and I have nothing other than envy. She was the woman who stood behind the man who gained independence for our country. Without him, without her support, we would never have Singapore. We will always be part of freaking Malaysia, and I'm thankful for them to give us this wonderful country.

Which is why I always get into a heated argument with Eeyore regarding Malaysia and Singapore. I know a lot of people dislike Mr Lee or hate the way he does things - tyranny, etc etc. But I don't think he did any wrong. Such as making youngsters learn dual languages - what's wrong with that?? At least we get to learn 2 languages and are better equipped for the future. That's jus 1 example anyway. Digression again.. Damn.. Back to the topic.

Mrs Lee was loving to her husband and her family. She assisted Mr Lee quietly behind him, never stealing his limelight despite her intelligence. Her love for Mr Lee was reciprocated and despite her suffering from stroke and being bedridden, their love for each other has never died. He will read her news articles, poems, etc every nite by her side. I am touched by their story and I wonder how Mr Lee is going to cope and live with his soul mate of 61 years now. I dread thinking about that and I haven't dared to view any videos regarding them ever since she passed away coz I know I'll definitely cry.

I was really annoyed and pissed when someone wrote on the obituary forum to congratulate Mr Lee on the demise of his wife. I mean, what the fuck seriously. No matter how much u hate another person, when someone else is dead, jus leave the dead alone. Fucking bastard that guy is. I was really damn angry when I read what that asshole wrote. I cursed and I sweared. And honestly, I wish that the guy will die a horrible death. I spit on him, I wish the worst for him. Karma will come back to him coz what goes around comes around. Fucking bastard.

Wish I could have the chance to pay tribute to Mrs Lee but.. Due to work commitments and the fact that Istana is only open from 10am to 5pm yesterday and today for the public to pay our respects, I can only pay my respects to her in my heart. May she rest in peace and watch over us, our country and especially Mr Lee. I know he'll be the one who will miss her the most. May they be together again in their next life and be forever loving.

24 Sep 2010 - F1 Live!

2010-09-27T19:59:00.008+08:00

Watched F1 LIVE for the 1st time on 24 Sept 2010. Though it's only the practice session, it was fantastic! Not to forget watching Daughtry perform Live!!! WOOHOO!!!!

2 weeks late and this finally came to me yesterday! :)

2 Years Together - 16 Sept 2010

2010-09-20T18:40:00.003+08:00

As always, I made a card and bought a present. As for him.. So far all I've had is just a dinner, a very expensive dinner. I'll let the pics do the talking - I seriously love my new phone (Iphone 4). All pics were taken using it with absolutely no editing! Pics are in the order that they were served and per the menu.

My pressie for him - Again, a Hugo Boss item.. It's a belt!

Our Dinner Location - Jaan @ Swissotel!

The view out from Swissotel - Guess what I was trying to focus at?

The menu for the night!

That's my champagne!

Free starter - Pumpkin with Cheese (can't remember the name)

Avocado with Caviar and Almonds

Fois Gras shaped like a cake!

Boudin Blanc - Shaped like a sausage!

Marron - It's a baby crayfish!

Lamb - I don't eat lamb, but this really doesn't taste like lamb at all!

Seabass!

Dessert - But I can't remember what this is! Not in menu!

Dessert - Peach and Blackcurrent Cream

Free Dessert - Vanilla ice cream coated with White Chocolate and sprinkled with Strawberry Powder!

Another free dessert -Hazelnut muffin, pineapple jelly, lavender macaroon, strawberry marshmallow and chocolate something (can't remember!)

And my dearest boy who has given me 2 years of ups and downs, of being there for me through it all! Thank u for everything!

September Already?

2010-09-15T19:57:00.002+08:00

Jus realised that I haven't blogged this month and it's already mid month!! Haven't bought my own laptop yet, hence I'm still having to share. Oh well..

I had sooo much that I wanted to blog about last week but then, I can't remember anything now! Damn!

Hmm.. Ok, here goes what I can remember. I had a very enjoyable week last week.

Started with a wonderful dinner/drinks gathering with Lisa and Sylvia on Wed. I wasn't too happy that morning as we had a deal that was booked wrongly and cost us a loss of US$250,000. :( My head was on the chopping block as I helped the sales folks to amend some stuff related to the deal that wouldn't impact the economic details and hence, my name showed up on the deal. Thank God for explanation by mentor J and the salesperson and my name was cleared.

So, at the dinner we chatted, caught up with one another's lives and gossiped! Hahaha. Soooo much fun! Enjoyable!!

Then Thurs came. It was our company's Appreciation Day and our bosses had to dress up as waiters and serve us drinks! All we had to do was sit at our desks, the 4 big shots on the floor had to pour out the drinks (red/white wine, champagne & beer) and the bosses had to serve, with music blasting throughout the whole floor!! Drink and drink and drink at 4.30pm in office! WOOHOOO!!!! Best day ever!!!

Can't remember what else happened but I'm super happy!!

This week has been ok so far. Kinda tired due to lack of sleep. :( Still wondering if I should go back to KL with Eeyore but I'm really very tired and I don't think I wanna entertain anyone. But.. I do owe his little bro a 21st year old bday pressie. Hmmmm..

Anyway, 4 more hours to our anniversary~! 2 years have gone by.. Time flies! I'm too tired to feel excited at the moment. Hahaha. I think this post doesn't even make sense.. Gosh...

Skypark

2010-08-30T19:59:00.003+08:00

Was at the 53rd floor of Marina Bay Sands Hotel on Sunday. Junior suite - very gorgeous view and huge room! Went up to the Skypark for a swim and an hour worth of tan. Absolutely heavenly! Amazing design! It was fabulous! Pics are not yet uploaded. Will post them when I'm less tired. :)

Went for a run jus now - 1st run in goodness knows how long. I've put on weight.. My whole family says so! :( So I decided to keep fit! Ran from my house to Bishan to Shunfu aka Marymount MRT and all the way home again. 1 big round though I'm not sure how long it is. Will find out later but the run feels good! My old injury acted up a little by aching when I was done with the run but I think it's ok now. Or so I hope! :p

Side note: Tried a very delicious Lavender flavoured mooncake at Taka basement but didn't buy it. Regretting now!!! :_( I think.. I wanna go back to Taka to get the mooncake for myself!!!

Pretty Face

2010-08-27T22:27:00.003+08:00

Disgusted that some girls get jobs by looking pretty, know how to put tonnes of makeup on their faces, know how to whine and act sweet and pitiful or cute but are not that fantastic with their work.

She came for an interview. Main interviewer was a female. Main interviewer came out of the interview and the more senior guys started requesting to "interview" her as well. So the guys went in, saw her, found her pretty. After the whole thing, main interviewer asked for opinion. Guys obviously adore her to bits! Main interviewer commented "A girl need not know anything about her work, as long as she's pretty and knows how to doll up."

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK??? If everyone thinks like that, I'm sure the company will collapse sooner or later!!!

And the more disgusting part is that after the interview, she came up to our floor almost every single day to suck up to the main interviewer and act sweet in front of the guys! *PUKES*

ARGH!!! Can't stand people who suck up and act pretty/sweet/cute in front of guys but treat other people like dirt! She showed me attitude but was damn sweet and nice to my ex-manager (guy of coz) when we asked the same thing! Gross to the max!

Office is not gonna be the same again.. I can only hope that when we have our restack (aka changing of seats) and when we move to the new office, pls pls do NOT let me sit anywhere near her or I'll jus die! Jus hope I don't see her much.. Bleah!!!!!!

Hoping..

2010-08-26T22:16:00.002+08:00

ARGH!! Couldn't help it but lost my patience again!!! And this time, we bumped into someone from our office! And I was soooo pissed that I said something about her behind her back. Problem is, I might have said it a bit too loud (under the influence of alchohol) and now I'm seriously worried that she might have heard it!!! Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!

Super duper pissed with myself!!! What's done cannot be undone. Can only tell myself to SHUT UP and once again, remind myself not to lose my patience in public especially near office area! Damn!!!!!

Tolerance

2010-08-25T18:53:00.003+08:00

Can't believe it - I woke up late for work today!! Or rather, I didn't wake up til Jacko (my mentor) sms-ed me at 7.45am to check if I was stuck on the MRT. How embarrassing is that?! I woke up with a start, called him to say I was sorry and that I had jus woken up, would be at work shortly. :( Rushed and thankfully, there was a cab available! Reached office at 8.15am in the end - almost an hour late! Luckily my team mates were really nice and didn't make a big hoo-ha out of it. :)

Was on the MRT on the way home jus now. Where I stood happened to be next to where a couple was sitting. Noticed that both their faces looked a bit black. As usual, I had my Ipod with me and my music was blasting. I secretly removed 1 side of my earphones and realised they were arguing/quarrelling about something. Felt bad to intrude and hence I stuck the earphone back into my ear.

But it got me thinking after that episode on the MRT. How many times have Eeyore and I done that in public - being pissed with each other and showing black faces? Too many times to even be counted, too many times for me to wanna remember or think about it now. And I realised how ugly it must have seemed to everyone. Now that I look back and reflect, it must have been awful.

So now I know, never ever to do that in public. It's really not a good sight to others, neither is it good for us. Learning to let go bit by bit - be more patient, less temperamental. Get used to his sloppiness and not nag as much. Learn to do things without his gratitude coz most times it means nothing to him. :) Gotta learn to be a lot more tolerant.

I'm working hard on it, be it with him or with family and friends. Let's hope I get to the stage where I can be what I really wanna be. ^.^

Sydney 13-21 Aug 2010

2010-08-23T18:40:00.006+08:00

What can I say? It was an amazing trip!! I know I was bad to throw my tantrum on the trip a few times - he didn't help me but was helping my sis when we 1st went skiing, I was really too tired to even wanna talk to anyone. I can't help it! It was the time of the month and I was really tired out! He really tried his hardest to pacify me along the way and seriously, I haven't felt his love in a very long time til this trip! It's so nice to be loved again! :)

Can't remember all the things we did or saw but here's the gist of it.

13 Aug - The moment we reached Sydney, we checked in to our hotel (Travelodge Wynard) and headed out for lunch with Ting, Gin, Yinta and Carly. Dim sum at Chinatown! :) They were really sweet to buy us lunch! Walked around town for some sight seeing, met up with Kat and the rest again for dinner! Back to hotel to zzz soon after as I was tired from the overnite flight.

14 Aug - Rented a car and drove to Hunter Valley. Tasted lots of wine, bought 7 bottles of wine as well! Very nice day out~! :)

15 Aug - Went out with Kat and her bf, Kingston to Opera House, Sydney bridge, etc. Sightseeing for the morning til about 2pm. Then it was on to outlet shopping! As we didn't have much time to shop, all I managed to grab was a lingerie dress. Haha. Rushed back to Opera House to watch a performance by Raymond Crowe. 1st play I've ever watched in Sydney Opera House!!! :p Amazing experience and I enjoyed it lots! Dinner with Kat at an Italian restaurant and back to zzz.

16 Aug - Started our drive to Perisher Mountains for skiing!! But the drive was not smooth. Eeyore took his old car back from his friend to drive up to Perisher, but little did we know that the radiator was spoilt. Car became overheated and smoke was coming out thro the bonnet. Scary! Pulled the car over, topped it up with water and drove to the nearest town for checking. Had to leave the car there to fix the radiator and rent another car to drive up to the mountain. By the time we reached Perisher, we had wasted a day of our snow pass and weren't in time to learn how to ski. :( The only best part was, it was snowing when we reached!!! 1st time I ever ever saw snow! Beautiful!!

17 Aug - Ski lesson in progress! The ski instructor was ok but a little racist. Didn't focus on us Asians and simply went really fast with the Westerners. Sigh.. Sis kept falling down and injured herself everywhere but luckily, nothing serious. I had fun though and didn't fall at all. Woohoo!!

18 Aug - Sis decided to take 1st timer's lesson again. I could have gone for Level 2 lessons, that is to go on the ski lifts and gone up the higher and steeper slopes to ski more professionally but was worried about sis hence I re-took 1st timer's lesson as well. It's a waste of $ to have bought ski lifts passes but not go on it. :( No choice I guess. Sis did well and didn't fall!! The instructor this time, Matt Tomm, was really good and patient! I managed to climb up slope on my own for once! Woohoo!!!

19 Aug - Sad to leave Perisher but we had to.. Stopped by Canberra and visited the Parliament House. Nice!! Reached back Sydney, had dinner at Hurricane's and that was where I was soooo tired that I didn't know my face turned black. Oopss.. :(

20 Aug - Breakfast at Pancakes at the rocks. Very yummy!! :p Outlet shopping at DFO and that took us the whole day!! Went mad shopping til the shops closed at 6pm! But I was totally knocked out coz time of the month came in the morning and seriously jus drained me out. Dinner at Harry's de Wheels and back to hotel to pack and zzz. But it was a waste coz I couldn't meet up with the rest of the guys who went drinking with Eeyore. :(((((

21 Aug - Last day in Sydney. :_( Had breakfast at Queen Victoria Building. Back to hotel to check out. Kat picked us up and we went to Fish Market for lunch with Ting, Yinta, Carly and Kingston. We ate sooo much oysters and sashimi!!! Soooo fresh and yummy!!! I don't wanna come back!!!! The girls were sooo sweet to send us off to airport! I miss them loads! And time for us to come back to hot, sunny Singapore and no longer the cool and nice Sydney winter. :(

It was a fantastic trip, all in all. A much needed break from work and of coz, a very good break for my relationship. We're happy once again and I hope this time, things will work out better now. We shall see.. :) More photos to be posted either on Facebook or in a photo album. Will update again on that. Lastly, my favourite photo of the whole trip - I had to coerce him into taking this pic though.. Why do most guys I like hate taking pics??? ARGH!

Break / Breakthrough

2010-08-12T18:48:00.003+08:00

Today is a breakthrough for me - I actually had lunch on my own in public, that is I didn't hide in the office or at home to eat alone. I ate alone at the food court with my trusty companion aka Ipod. :) Was kinda alright. Think I might be able to get used to this idea someday.

Thanks to everyone for the concern about the blood problem. Only happened that 1 time so I am refraining from rushing to the doc. I know, I'm jus plain stubborn but I feel ok for now. I'm eating a lot and since what goes in must come out, I have been going to toilet quite a lot too. And hence, I'm hungry quite easily these days. :D I promise that I'll see a doc the minute I feel that something is not right, ok? :) Pls don't scold me!

Finally, I am having a well deserved (in my own opinion only) break! 1st trip out of Singapore (not counting KL or Malaysia coz those are not that far away!) for this year starts tonite! It's a far cry from my 5 trips per year policy but it's soooo hard to take leave together with Eeyore that I'm really starting to feel annoyed. Sigh... I love travelling and this is torturous to me! Not having any trips til now has simply drained me out.

But I can't blame him. His job is still not secured after 6 months, I was dying to change departments then and had to stick around in Singapore to wait for things to happen. I only hope that this will be the only year that I can't travel as much. I need my little breaks from work here and there to feel recharged and full of life once again!!

Saw the lovely video of Sid & Stef. Soooo sweet and lovey dovey that I'm actually envious! It's such a beautiful video of them! I'm so happy for the 2 of them - to have found each other, to be getting married and starting their lives as a married couple soon! :)

And I start wondering about my own relationship.. Trying hard not to let sad and unhappy thoughts run wild in my mind!! I'm going to Sydney with him and Peg. We should be happy on the trip. I really hope we can be happy. It seems like a long time since we've been really happy with each other. Ahhh.. Think happy thoughts!!!

7pm already?!!! I better get pack to checking my luggage and all the packing in case I miss out on anything again! I'll be back on 21 August so the next update will probably be in more than a week's time (unless I blog at airport again as usual). Haha.

Til then, take care all!

Monitoring Myself

2010-08-10T18:39:00.002+08:00

Something happened to me as I was about to leave office and head home. I saw blood where I'm not supposed to see it (not the monthly kind in case u guys are thinking of that). I'm not sure what is causing it and I'm gonna monitor my condition. I really dunno if it's a cause for alarm but I'm hoping that it's not. My initial reaction was fright when I saw it. Then I started to be worried and I actually teared a bit in office.

But I'm not gonna let this get me down. Much as I'm concerned about myself, I'm gonna stay strong and keep my fingers crossed, wishing for the best. This could be a sign for me to start being more attentive and showing more care towards my own health.

Maybe it's time for me to love myself more, care more for myself and to treat myself better. This body of mine is no longer what it used to be. Getting old with age and body parts might need some repair of sorts. Really have to take care of myself!

1 day of monitoring is what I managed to bargain for before I'm forced to see the doctor. Pls lemme be ok!!!

20 Years

2010-08-05T19:00:00.003+08:00

I can't help but say this... Time really flies. It's been 20 years since my mum passed away. I really do miss her lots! Cried myself to sleep on 3 aug nite.

This post is 1 day late coz I didn't have laptop to use. Wonder if my mummy has been reincarnated per chinese tradition. I really do hope she has. She will be 8 years younger than me if she has. :)

Hope mummy knows I'm happy with work and most aspects of my life now. Hope she's proud of me and happy for me too! I'll do all that I can to make her very proud of me coz that is what I have promised her all along in my heart.

I love u mummy, now and forever, for all my life!

Will post a pic of my parents soon when i have usage of laptop! :)

Thanks to Meng and Shuang for their concern n them knowing me so well!

PS: thanks to Simon for teaching the suaku me how to use email to blog so I can blog anywhere now!!

PPS: congrats to Matt on the birth of his baby girl!

Friends.. Oh Pls!

2010-08-02T19:02:00.002+08:00

I think I've finally seen the true colours of hypocrites and liars who call themselves my friends. From today onwards, I'll distant myself from such people who treat me like a fool. I have forgiven them time and time again, but pls stop mis-using my kindness and making me an idiot. I choose to close 1 eye everytime, but not anymore. I'm not going to be the nice and naive girl in your eyes any longer.

Sick and tired of such so called friends. Like what my daddy used to say, u don't need a lot of friends. Jus a few good friends is more than enough. I agree. Totally. Thanks for letting me see it so clearly today. I will no longer care nor bother about u anymore.

I'm sure my life will be happier without such so called "friends".

Stupid Appraisal

2010-07-28T22:39:00.003+08:00

Was really pissed at work today, but not coz of my current department. I cannot believe that as a manager, when u have nothing bad to write about a person, u can write all sorts of rubbish as my appraisal. It's so ridiculous and when we try to ask for a proof or protect ourselves, u claim that we are very defensive.

I mean, come on, the way that u write jus makes people pissed. Everyone who has seen the mail says that too. I have many people who can vouch for me regarding the way I work and they all know that what u wrote is jus rubbish! Seriously wtf! U suck as a manager and u have no "people" relationship skills.

I was so pissed the whole afternoon since I saw the mail. Decided to stop arguing with a useless ex-manager and went directly to my new manager. Told him that I do not agree with the comments written by previous manager and my current manager actually said that he laughed at the comments coz it was so crappy! Told me that he has totally ignored the comments written by my previous manager coz it's jus dumb! Thank god for having a good manager now!

I'm really extremely glad and thankful that I have moved out of the previous shithole, with shit managers and bosses. 3 years of suffering and slogging in this asshole department is finally over and I will not need to have such lousy people being my managers.

Thanks to all the people who stood by me and believed in me - Jack, Simon, Carissa Mummy, Ed gor, Sylvia, Lisa, Eeyore. For cheering me up and showing me your faith. Yes, I should ignore the idiots in my life and stay happy. I'm still enjoying my new job and I'll stay focused and cheerful! :)

Communication

2010-07-26T19:50:00.004+08:00

What does a girl do when her care and concern has been told off as a form of nagging? Does she stop talking and showing care and concern to the person? I no longer know what is right and what is wrong. I no longer know how to make a person happy or to even communicate anymore. Everything I do seems to be wrong.

Asking slightly more questions and clarifying what was said is known as generation gap, and to think that we are of the same age. My english mus be really poor that people do not understand me and I need to clarify. My mistake for even asking. I know to keep quiet now. Let the doubts grow and not ask so much. Talking is not a form of communication. It's a form of miscommunication. So is typing.

So how should we communicate now? Hand language? Maybe. How about not communicating with each other anymore. Would that be better? Then there will be no more misunderstandings that will lead to unhappiness. Would everyday be happier then?

I can't be going to work with unhappiness in my life for so long. I can't keep depending on others to cheer me up all the time. So what do u want me to do? If communication breaks down, then what are we going to do about it? I really wonder.. Tired.. I say and feel that so often now that it's not right. It's definitely not right..
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Yesterday was my mummy's chinese death date. She's been gone for 20 years now. And I miss her so much. I really hope she's been reborn to a good family and is still as pretty. I asked her to bless me with happiness. I had that happiness for a few hours and it was gone. Came too soon, gone too fast.

Is that how it is with us too?

My blog is not meant for unhappiness but I have no happy things to write about recently. Prove me wrong and make it change. My independence and happiness will not be destroyed so easily. I will stand up and get there once again. But before that, pls do not blame me for being cold towards u. Coz I will do as u wish - no care & concern coz it means nagging, talk and ask less too.

I hope u r happy with that.

The Same Circle

2010-07-22T18:28:00.002+08:00

Still going around in the same circle of doubts and questions when we argue or quarrel. It's a never-ending thing?? Seriously wearing me out and making me really sick and tired. The sweetness never lasts. Bitterness sets in after a while.

How much does a person need to do to prove her point? How much does it take to let a stubborn person understand certain things? How can a person be this stubborn that he can never put other people's viewpoint or words into his mind for consideration?

Watched Inception over the weekend - Is this really what it is? The idea was already planted in his mind long ago, even before I knew him. Nothing can change it now? I think so. Well, at least I feel that way. That's why we are always going round and round in circles.

People think it's all sweet and nice but it's only coz I try my best to stop blogging about the fights, quarrels and arguments. Don't wanna remember the bad things, only the good ones. Ask me if I'm getting married anytime soon - my answer is no. This same circle of issues that keep resurfacing is the milestone that we have to get past before we can proceed any further.

Wonder if we will ever get to that stage. I have my own doubts on that.. Marriage is definitely a long long way away.

World Cup 2010 - SPAIN!!!

2010-07-20T17:43:00.002+08:00

Just realised that I've been neglecting my blog. Wonder if I still have anyone reading it, but what does it matter? It's for me to remember stuff anyway though more often than not, I forget stuff rather than remember them.

Work rocks! Seriously does. I'm happy with work and at work. I have a crazy and fun team, my mentor is always there for me despite being on block leave! My team loves Magnum ice creams and we're constantly eating! :p It's all good and I feel so different being here than in my previous department. 3 years of being in my previous department made me into a bitter person, angry with the world and everything revolving around me. Here, ranking and hierarchy is out of the window. We are a team. They are all higher ranked than me by a lot and earn heaps more than me so they pay for drinks, ice creams, food, etc. :) But that's not the point. The point is, everyone is jus at ease with everyone.

World Cup 2010 came and went & I'm very very proud and pleased to say this.. Finally I can proudly say this - SPAIN WON!!!!!!!!!! World Champions 2010 and Euro Champions 2008!!!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!! I'm a happy little girl. Haha. U won't believe how crazy I was. ^.^

Today I was wondering.. If a person is happier at work than at home, what does it mean? I seem to be a much happier person at work. I reach home and see the mess at home, I flare up. I can't help it. My house looks worse than a warzone. It's like a tornado had come and gone, whipping everything it can to be out of place. I spent 2.5-3 hours cleaning up jus 1 layer of my table last nite and I felt pissed!

How much longer til I get a nice clean house again? I really wonder.. I dunno how long it's going to take me to do it and it makes me sad. How can a house be this messy? What happened along the way?? I own the place, I stay in it.. And sad to say, I have no answer to my own questions. All I know is that it's going to take a lot of hardwork, determination and effort to keep the house neat, clean and tidy once again. I'll have to do my very best..

Laugh at Me!

2010-06-10T20:37:00.002+08:00

Ok, this is gonna be a very random and stupid post for all of u to laugh at me. :)

1 week into my new role, I am already handling a few things on my own - 1 of them is to call customers thro a machine to inform them on the settlement. Sounds simple? Yeah, kinda. So how this machine works is that we type a conversation to each other like MSN. The only difference is that the other party can see what u type as u type (think typewriter!) and there is no way u can delete or backspace what u typed. Getting more interesting??

So how we let the other party know that we type wrongly is to put EEEE and they will know that the word u jus typed is wrong. So now, here comes the story. I was doing my usual calling and talking to Irene at the same time. Customer answered the "call" and I was supposed to type "I BUY" but I dunno why my brain kept thinking of selling so I typed "I SE...".

From the above way of typing, u'll know that I should continue with SEEEEEE but due to my talking to Irene about doing this expiry/exercise (short form is xxx) thingy at the same time and from the lack of concentration, instead of typing EEEE, I typed "I SEXXXXX".

Ok, u may laugh ur head off at me now! My 1st thought was oh my god!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! Yes, I felt really stupid and ridiculous!! What would the customer be thinking??? So embarrassing!!!!

Hope u had a good laugh at me & I hope this brightens up the day for all of u reading my blog! :)

Unexpected

2010-06-07T20:05:00.003+08:00

Had a huge huge fight with Eeyore on Friday nite. It was ugly with doors slamming in each other's faces, screaming and shouting vulgarities at each other. Really ugly.. Finally got my point through and I guess we made up. Not a pretty sight, yes, but at least it's ok now. Went back to KL on Saturday morning to attend a wedding of someone we both don't know.

At the wedding reception, Eeyore shocked me by telling me something that I totally didn't expect. Apparently, his mum has been asking him a question sporadically from Chinese New Year til now - when he will marry me. I was in awe! It was soooo unexpected and I really didn't see it coming! I mean, I really never would have thought his mum would ask him that! It's.. unbelievable even til now. Don't ask me why, but I really really really wasn't anticipating that!

I know my family has been asking me that question a gazillion times so why is it so shocking now that his mum asked? I guess it's coz I hardly talk to his mum unless I go to KL and the other time was when we went Cambodia together. That's about it.. Oh well..

And on Saturday morning when we were driving there, he said he had a sudden realisation. I wonder what that means. Am I thinking too much and reading too much into things?? Not gonna get my hopes up lest i be disappointed. :)

PS: Do not let Eeyore know about this post!